Kin and Kisses
by liebedance
Summary: JP/LE, RL/SB, PP/OC. This story follows the Marauders & Lily starting with the summer before their 6th year at Hogwarts. James tries to win the affection of Lily, who thinks she hates him; Sirius is gay and Remus is confused. But, they are happy, for now
1. Home

**Chapter One; Home**

_I don't regret this life I chose for me.  
But these places and these faces are getting old,  
So I'm going home._

"Fine!" Sirius yelled, his voice hoarse from a night of continuous shouting, "See if I care!"

Walburga drew her wand as her mouth opened, pouring a stream of jumbled curses. The 16 year old boy slammed his door in her face and started stuffing everything he could get his hands on into his school trunk.

"No son of mine will ever be seen riding such muggle filth! Why couldn't you be like Regulus? He doesn't seem to mind having everything he's ever wanted!" The door of Sirius's bedroom blasted down and Walburga continued in her rage. "Everything you've ever wanted! We are Blacks! You could've been _anything_!"

"What if I'd rather be _anything_ but a Black!? You and you're bleedin' pure-blood mania! What's really pure about this family is its pure stupidity!" Sirius roared, "And DON'T talk like that about my baby! She's NOT muggle filth!"

"Anything but a Black? If you aren't a Black, you are NOTHING!" Walburga's black curls fell out down around her face, showing how far gone she had gone. It was a rare thing that could make this arrogant woman look anything but put together and elegant. "And you speak as though you love the filth! Why? Why can't you be proud of what you are?"

"I've only ever been PROUD, Mother! It's all I've ever been good for!" Sirius cried, abandoning his half packed trunk so that he could look right at his mother's eyes. "And I REFUSE to be proud of this! I can't be proud that my baby brother is going to be a killer! I can't be proud that my own flesh and blood doesn't love me! I can't be bleedin' PROUD that I'm a wizard if that means I have to sit quietly and politely in this god-damn house and pretend like I believe in your bullshit!"

Walburga lost all her heat at this and her face was wiped clean of every emotion as she spoke. "Very well. Leave. Don't be a Black. You have never been anything but a disappointment and it's just better for everyone if you just leave."

Sirius' anger froze over and he stared at his mother. She stood up taller and stared right back at him. A tall man with deep set eyes and thin lips appeared behind her. He too stared at his son. There was a silence so dense it fogged up Sirius' brain and every plan his tired, rage-rushed mind had concocted dried up.

"Well, brother, are you leaving or what?" A cool voice sounded. A fourth person had now entered the room and stood lazily against the wall by the door. "Are you going to fly off with your "baby" and never look back?"

Sirius found his brother's sorrow-drenched eyes and nodded. "I guess so. I tried, Regulus." Regulus held his brother's gaze for a moment before determinately looking away with a forced expression of indifference.

Sirius left his trunk at the foot of his bed, his permanently stuck posters on the walls and his desk scattered with school work and letters from his friends. Sirius shoved past his 'family' and walked down the stairs, his parents and brother continued behind him clumped together, as though making sure he didn't dare come back up. He stopped on the second floor, in front of the drawing room, to turn back toward the others.

"Can I have some money?" His voice was dry and his tired anger was smothered under forced casualty.

His parents just looked at him and Regulus snorted softly in amused disbelief. After a few seconds of silence, Walburga shouted wordlessly and pushed open the door to the drawing room. She pulled out her wand and pointed it threateningly at her eldest son. Sirius froze momentarily thinking 'Seriously, she's going to kill me? I knew I shouldn't have asked for cash.' Walburga then spun around and pointed at the tapestry of her family tree. Cursing, a green light flared up and burned away Sirius' name.

She continued to roar curses and vulgar words as she fell to her knees in distress. Regulus' eyes widened and he bent down to touch his mother's shaking shoulders.

"Mom?" He spoke tenderly while flashing a look of pure hatred at his brother. Orion's eyes seared with contempt as he locked eyes with his first born son.

"Go." Orion's voice was deathly calm and with that one word all Sirius' vague hopes dried up. "You're leaving, so leave."

Walburga cried out again. "Go! You filthy muggle-loving brat! Go! Just go!"

Sirius nodded and ran full speed out of the house, slamming the door behind him.

***

There was no feeling like riding his true love; especially when he was all riled up in the middle of the night. Sirius breathed deep and felt the rush of his blood pulsing loud against his eardrums. He knew the faster he went, the farther away he could get and although he wasn't sure his destination, there was something just so sweet about this escape. How could his family possibly think something was awful just because it was muggle?

Sirius loved his muggle motorbike and yes, he was being a bit materialistic, but it truly was an incredible piece of engine. It was flying him far above London now. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, this muggle motorbike can fly. He looked down at Big Ben and the tower bridge, all lit up. He was tempted to zoom around the towers but remembered harshly that he wouldn't be able to use his family's money to get himself out of trouble anymore.

"Shit." And thus the balloon of sweet escape popped inside him. Hotels were out of the question as he had no money; as was staying with any relatives. He didn't have any friends in London that weren't in the pureblood upper crust, since those were the only people he'd ever been allowed to see during the Holidays outside of his school friends.

His brain froze momentarily until he realized that he was flying Eastward out of London. He was making his way to the Potter Estate. After the 2 hour flight he smelt the familiar sea air that was so softly strong in Leigh Beck of Canvey Island. The sun started to rise, pink and yellow, over the English Channel. He steered his bike to the coast and began to let his bike fall slowly down to a graceful landing on Beveland Rd.

He drove slowly up their driveway and parked his bike by the mostly empty garage. He checked his watch and winced, it was about 3 in the morning. Sirius stood there for a while thinking. It wasn't as if he could ring the doorbell at this ungodly hour. Sure, the Potters had known him and loved him for years, but that didn't mean they would be pleased to be woken up by a rebel teenager at 3 in the bleedin' morning.

He considered breaking in but guessed that they surely had protection spells all around their property. Thinking on it now, it occurred to Sirius that it was strange that he had even made it up their driveway. His parents would never have this crazy lax security, especially in a muggle neighborhood. Of course, the Potters were strongly against all pureblood supremacy that was stirring up lately so that wouldn't be a thought on their minds. Even still though, they were just as wealthy as the Blacks and it made sense for them to have stronger wards, just for security's sake.

These thoughts were bouncing around Sirius' head while he gave up getting into the house. He would just ring the bell in the morning. In the mean time, he left his baby there by the garage and walked around to the back yard that faced the ocean. It was a hot July night and hours till Sirius would be able to say hi to the family. He plopped down on the grass near the beach and stared at the sun in a very stupid way that would probably blind him.

"Good morning sunshine," Sirius whispered as he collapsed into a deep slumber on the grass.

***

James Potter squinted as the early morning sun shone into his room, waking him up to the first day of his summer holiday. He checked his watch, 7:05a, and groaned. He was still in school mode and unable to sleep in. The 16 year old boy ran his hand through his untidy black hair and pushed himself out of bed with a sigh. He made his way over to his window and looked out over the yard. Yes, it was good to be home. True, he always missed Hogwarts when he was on holiday, but there was nothing like the comforts of his own house. And having his own room never hurt.

James squinted at something lying under a tree near his parents' driveway. It seemed to be a person. He looked a little harder and recognized a dark red sweatshirt he'd only ever seen on one person before.

"Sirius, what have you done now?" he said to himself, chuckling. He wondered why on earth his best mate of five years was laying under a tree near the driveway. It was not unlike Sirius to make an impromptu visit to the Potter Estate in an attempt to escape the family he so detested, but this was the first time he'd ever fallen asleep in the yard. James grabbed a pair of muggle jeans from his closet, put them on and made his way out of his room towards the yard to see what Sirius was doing.

"Master James?" a small, squeaky voice sounded, causing James to jump, as he came down the marble staircase into the foyer, "what is you doing up so early during your holiday?"

"Oh, hello Tinkey, you scared me. I couldn't sleep and I think Sirius is sleeping in our yard."

"Tinkey is sorry, Master James. What is Master Sirius doing asleep in the yard? Is he not knowing there is always a bed for him here? Is you wanting Tinkey to make up his room, Master James? Breakfast too, Master James"

"I don't know why he's here, Tinkey. And, yeah, that would be great, thanks."

"Anything for Master James and his friends," the house elf said with a bow before hurrying off to fix up the room that Sirius usually stayed in when he visited the Potters. James smiled at the elf and continued down the stairs and out the front door.

It was a nice day. The sun was already shining from a cloudless sky, warming the ground beneath James' bare feet. A slight breeze rustled the leaves in the bushes and trees. James knew it would be a good day, especially with Sirius here. There was only one thing that could make it better, but he pushed the thought of a certain red haired girl out of his head, choosing to concentrate instead of the mysterious presence of Sirius.

"Rise and shine, mate," James said, kicking his friend gently in the ribs.

"Go away, I'm sleeping," Sirius mumbled, swatting a lazy hand at James' foot.

"Oh, come on. The sun is shining. The birds are singing. I think Tinkey is making bacon…"

"Bacon?" Sirius lifted his head, "Bacon is good."

"Yup, but you won't get any if you continue to lie in the grass. You know how my parents are about sit down meals." James offered his hand to his friend, who took it and got stiffly to his feet.

"Y'know, you need to tell your parents to make their grass more comfortable," Sirius complained as he brushed dirt off his pants.

"Yes, I really should. Since normal people sleep on it all the time. What are you doing here, asleep on my lawn anyways?"

"Yeah, yeah. It's good to see you too. You kick me to wake me up then ask why I'm here. I'm feeling very loved at the moment."

"You're the one who was asleep in my yard! I think I'm allowed to wonder why, aren't I?"

"Fine," Sirius said with a shrug, "I left home. Can I stay here?"

"Well of course, Tinkey is already making up your room. I saw you from my window. How long do you want to stay? Where is your stuff?" James began walking towards the house.

"Well, I was kind of hoping to stay here indefinitely," Sirius answered casually, following James up the driveway, "And I don't really have any stuff with me… I kinda forgot it all." James stopped and turned around to face his friend.

"What?"

"You heard me," Sirius answered, continuing to walk towards the front door, "I left, ran away. And I was kinda hoping that I could stay here, y'know, during the holidays until we graduate and I can get a place of my own. And I was angry so I forgot to bring my stuff with me when I left. I don't think that I can go back and get it though… They are all kind of furious at me. I feel like a lot of loathing is going on in the House of Black at the moment. So I'll need all new stuff. Hopefully I can still get into the family vault at Gringotts. I do still have the Black name."

"Are you okay?" James hurried to catch up with Sirius, "I know you didn't get along with your parents-"

"Despised would be a more appropriate description," Sirius interrupted bitterly.

"Okay. I know you despised your parents. But what about Regulus, I know-"

"Regulus is one of them now. I don't care about him."

"Sirius… I know you care about your bro-"

"He's not my brother anymore."

"I know you don't really feel that way."

"You don't know what I feel. Just drop it," Sirius stopped at the front door.

"Sirius…"

"James, drop it." He pushed open the front door and walked into the foyer. James sighed and followed him into his house.

"Well, it must mean something that he didn't tell you're parent that you like blokes. He apparently doesn't want you dead," James said softly, trying to lighten the mood. Sirius just grunted.

He knew Sirius and he knew that whatever caused him to leave his house bothered him. But he also could tell that he did not want to talk about it and he knew Sirius well enough to know not to push.

"Okay, fine. We should probably tell my parents that you'll be staying here for a while. I'm sure they won't mind. We both know they love you. Then we can eat the breakfast Tinkey made."

"Mmmm, bacon," Sirius said with a smile as the two boys went to the dining room to find the Potters.

***

"You know, your family is awesome," Sirius said when he and James were back in James' room after breakfast. Mr. and Mrs. Potter had told Sirius that he was welcome to stay with them as long as he wanted to.

"Yeah, I'm a fan," James agreed. "There really is nothing like family, and no place like home."

"Especially when family is the Potters and home is the Potter Estate," Sirius laughed.

James rolled his eyes. His friends loved to make fun of the large piece of property that the Potter's house sat on. Sirius' family probably had more money than the Potters did, but the Blacks lived in a concealed house in London. James had only been to No 12 Grimald Place once and, while the place clearly spoke of money it was much darker and enclosed than the Potter Estate. Neither of James other friends, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, were poor. But neither of their families were as wealthy of the Potters and they all got a kick out of the 5 acre plot with gardens and a small pond on which James' house stood.

"So, how did you get here?" James asked Sirius, changing the subject.

"Remember that bike I was telling you about?" Sirius asked with a mischievous grin.

"No way."

"Yes way. I flew it over. It was a nice flight."

"But, we're underage! How did you do that?"

"Well, see, there's a loophole. As long as I didn't enchant it to fly, I can fly it without getting into trouble. It has an invisibility feature and everything, so muggles can't see it."

"Awesome. Too bad we can't take it to school. How awesome would that be? I bet your parents weren't too happy with it."

"That would be the understatement of the world," Sirius laughed. After a moment he added bitterly, "y'know, we should probably go to Diagon Alley soon. I need to get out enough money to get all new stuff before my parents inform the Gringotts goblins that I no longer have access to the vault."

"Yeah. I kind of want some stuff for my broomstick anyways. Shall we inform my parents that we'd like to go immediately?"

"Definitely. And I know the perfect way to get there."


	2. Family

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the universe in which it resides or anything to do with it. It owns me.

A/N: this can also be found under the pen name Flameintheflood

**Chapter Two: Family**

_Here I stand on roots that deep  
We laugh we cry we hurt we bleed  
We're best of friends and worst enemies  
We're all to blame, were all the same, make no apologies  
This is my family_

_-_Leann Rimes

"When is Sirius Black getting here?" Helen asked her big brother eagerly. "And James."

Peter smiled indulgently at his little sister and said, "Patience is a virtue. They're on their way."

Remus was coming out of Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, trying to hold five cones dripping with melting goodness. Helen yelped and grabbed for her chocolate raspberry treat. She could eat so much for a small 12 year old girl.

"Hun, your hair is dipping into your cone," Remus said brushing her messy brown hair out of her face, and consequently her ice-cream. Helen smiled up at him, her face colored brown by chocolate.

"Is it true that Sirius Black disowned his family? Peeeeeter!!" Helen called to her tired looking brother who was standing right next to her. He looked at her expectantly. "Would you ever disown me?"

"Nah," He laughed. "Mum would kill me."

"Peeeeeter!"

Peter started to ask what when Helen started squealing and pointing into the air. "It's Sirius! He's on a motorcycle! That is so _cool!_"

Remus smiled and laughed. "Finally we get to see Padfoot's true love. And Helen, don't forget, James is up there too."

"Well, yeah!" Helen exclaimed. Then her face fell. "Wait… Sirius got a girlfriend? Where?"

"No, Sirius got a new motorbike," Remus told her. She looked so relieved and Remus forced himself not to chuckle at the 12 year olds' so predictable crush. Everyone liked Sirius. How could someone _not_? Remus continued to think about all the admirable things about his friend. Oh, Peter said something.

"Huh?"

"Just said that I wouldn't mind a new motorbike, or a new girlfriend," Peter said softly as the other two young men landed dangerously close to an old woman and her little dog. Under the screaming and umbrella waving of the old lady Remus asked Peter, "What about your muggle chick?"

"Well, it's hard, keeping such a big part of my life from her. You know how bad I am at hiding things."

"Indeed!" James laughed dismounting the bike that he had been riding on the back of. "You couldn't keep a secret if your life depended on it!"

"Maybe if my life depended on it," Peter said. "And I've kept quiet about tons of pranks!"

"Yeah, but you always tell Moony when me and Padfoot are planning something!" James laughed.

"Well…"

"Oh! Ice-cream!" James attacked the cookie dough ice-cream in Peter's hand. "Lovely!"

Two feet away, Sirius was telling Remus about the plans for the day, with Helen bursting in periodically with some random tidbit of 12 year old knowledge.

"So, ahem!" James cut all the excited conversation with a grand smile. "I _do_ believe that we have a mission this day!"

Everyone else rolled their eyes but James took no notice. "We are here to redo our Padfoot's wardrobe!"

Peter snorted and Remus raised an eyebrow, "Why? I've never seen anything particularly wrong with Paddy's fashion choices."

"Don't call me Paddy!" Sirius scolded. "And, er… I didn't bother bringing anything with me from that evil house. It was all tainted with Blackness and… well in the mood of it all I kind of managed to leave everything there…"

And the crickets were silent. Then Peter started laughing. "So, you mean you washed up at the Potter Estate having forgotten everything that you own? I suppose you have your wand?

"Uh, yes?" Sirius flicked his hair back with careless grace and sighed. "So, er… first stop: Gringotts."

"Let us continue onward!" James stalked away, his cloak swishing majestically behind him. Roaring with laughter the others followed. Helen spotted a friend and departed with a nervous smile at Sirius. She promised Peter to meet them at Quality Quidditch Supplies by 4 o'clock.

The four boys strutted down Diagon Alley towards the huge marble building that looked as if it were held up by magic. They went past the "Cute little poem about killing thieves" and marched straight toward the first available goblin.

"Your name?" asked the goblin in a bored voice.

"Sirius Black," the handsome young man stated. "I'm here to extract from the family vault and create my own; self differentiation and all that."

"Do you have your key?"

"There is no key. It's high security. But I do have my wand for identification purposes."

"Your wand then, please," the goblin stated, holding out his hand. Sirius pulled his wand from his pocket and placed his wand on the counter. He examined the wand, nodded, and called to one of his colleagues.

"Munick. Assist these fine young gentlemen, please." A surly looking goblin rushed over to them and surveyed the group.

"Which is Black?" he asked gruffly. Sirius raised a finger in an arrogant greeting that spoke of his aristocratic upbringing. Munick snorted and pulled out some papers.

"What is the amount you wish to transfer to a private vault?" A quill swished in his knobby fingers.

"Er, what do you say, boys? A couple thousand gold ones?" Sirius asked his entourage. James raised his eyebrows, Peter coughed and Remus just smiled.

"Mister Black," Munick said in a surly tone, "the most that you can withdraw from a vault for the purpose of transfer without explicit direction from the vault manager is one thousand galleons. Would you like me to contact Mister Orion Black for permission to extract more funds?"

"No, thank you, that will not be necessary" Sirius said in a tone that suggested casualty, though his friends noted a tone of disgust, "one thousand will do just fine. Thank you."

"If you could follow me then, please," Munick led the boys towards the Gringotts carts. He stopped when he reached the track, "only Mister Black is allowed access to the vault. High security, you see. If you could wait outside for your friend, that would be good."

"Oh, come off it," Sirius said in mild disbelief, "they can come with me, I don't care if they see the vault."

"Mister Black, there are explicit directions from Mister Orion Black," Munick retorted, "If you would like me to contact him for permission-"

"No, there is no need for that," Sirius replied grumpily. He turned to his friends, "do you guys mind waiting for me outside? It won't take too long." Peter, Remus and James nodded and left Sirius with the goblin.

"Well, that was unfair," James complained as they walked out of the marble building into the sunlit streets, "I should've hexed that goblin."

"No, you shouldn't have, Prongs," Remus said with a smile, "you would have gotten yourself and Sirius into loads of trouble. The last thing we need is for the Blacks to know he's taking money from the family vault. Not to mention, you may have been expelled for underage magic."

"Yeah, yeah," James sighed as he leaned against the wall and ran his hand through his already messy hair, "but what are we supposed to do until Sirius is done? Who knows how long _that_ will take."

"It won't be too long," Remus assured him as he sat down on a bench and pulled a book out of his robes and proceeded to read.

"The fact that you are reading during the holidays is just sickening, mate" James turned to Peter, "c'mon Wormtail, let's wander for a bit, shall we? Maybe we'll run into some people that we know."

"By 'people' do you mean Lily and her friends?" Peter teased. James didn't answer but ran his hand through his hair again, looked around and set off down the street. Peter turned his attention towards the reading boy, "you don't mind us leaving you, do you Moony?"

"No, you guys go ahead. I'm fine here." Peter nodded and hurried off down the street to catch up with James. Remus turned his attention back to _Practical Uses of Advanced Defensive Spells_. Hah, attention; his attention was back with Sirius who was probably already miles underground. What had been the final straw with his family and why couldn't he have waited another year until he moved out? He would've been of age and his family would've given him tons of money to start a life of his own. It's not like if he had waited they would've let him be _poor_. They wouldn't watch their son be _poor_.

But really, what deeply frustrated Remus was this little voice in his head that wished his house could've been the one Sirius had run away to. It usually didn't bother him that the dynamic duo were that, a duo, but now that they were living together, Remus felt… left out. He heard himself thinking this and scoffed at his immaturity. Of course the more outgoing two would be closer. Maybe he had Peter and they were the other, less dynamic second duo. Remus groaned and closed his book. He didn't want Peter. Peter was nice and everything, but he wasn't as fun, as ridiculous, as sexy as… well… Remus bit his lip and changed the path of his thoughts.

It was always obvious that Peter really followed James, the most popular one, despite the fact that Remus was the one that always helped him out and made sure he wasn't left out. But that was Remus, the glue the kept the Dog Star and the, er, Stag Star (Remus chuckled at himself) up and proud and put together. He was important.

Remus shook his head and let his thoughts drift away and he reopened his book; his mind firmly and forcedly on Defensive Spells.

***

Lily usually loved being home for the holidays. She loved the muggle ways of cooking and cleaning. She adored spending time with her mother and father. She could spend hours walking the familiar streets of her childhood. And, until recently, she had loved being able to spend time with her best childhood friend.

In the few days she'd been home, Lily had almost journeyed down to Spinner's End to talk to Severus Snape several times. She'd nearly run to him, in tears, to tell him that she hadn't meant what she'd said, to tell him that they could still be friends, that it didn't matter that he'd called her a mudblood. But she had meant it and, as much as she loved Severus, she could no longer be his friend. She could no longer pretend to not know or care what he and his friends were up to, what they aspired to. They'd chosen their paths and, as much as it hurt, it had to be that way.

And then, there was James; James, who had been the catalyst to the demise of her friendship with Severus. The arrogant prat who thought he ruled the school, who caused trouble wherever he went, who somehow managed to stay in the top of his class regardless of how little he studied and who continued insist he was madly in love with Lily.

"Stupid git," Lily said to herself as she lay back down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, "he's too arrogant to know what love is if it were to hit him in the face."

"Lily?" Lily's mother's voice sounded from the downstairs, "it's time for dinner. Get washed up and come down, please." Lily sighed. Dinner with her family was another thing she no longer loved about being home. Petunia was also home for the summer from her first year of university and seemed to think it was her personal responsibility to point out everything abnormal about Lily's life at school and Lily herself.

Everything was already placed on the table and her family was already sitting down when Lily reached the dining room. With a smile towards her parents, she pulled out her chair and sat down.

"Well," Petunia sneered once Lily had taken her place, "now that _Lily_ has graced us with her presence, I guess we can begin dinner. This roast simply looks delicious Mum. It's been horrid eating at school all year. The university cooks don't know how to prepare a proper meal. It is ever so good to be home. You couldn't imagine how many _weird _people attend university! Though, luckily none of them are so abnormal that they have to attend a secret school of freaks."

"Petunia," Lily's mother, Anne, warned, "remember what I told you about being civil?" Petunia rolled her eyes.

"It's okay Mum," Lily said with a dirty look at Petunia, "at least I'm good at something other than gossip."

"Lily," Anne warned again, "you too. I want both of you to be civil this summer. This may be the last summer your father and I have with both of you together and we don't want to remember it with pain."

"Sorry mum, sorry dad," Lily apologized and began to eat while her parents and sister talked about the muggle news. As much as Lily wanted to hold on to her muggle traditions, she couldn't seem to find much enthusiasm for muggle politics. Especially not recently with everything that had been going on in the wizarding world. The rising power and influence of Lord Voldemort in the wizarding community overshadowed whatever might be happening in the muggle parliamentary system.

"What do you think, Lily?" her father asked, interrupting her thoughts about the perils of the wizarding world.

"Sorry, what?"

"Dad just wanted to know," Petunia answered scornfully, "what you think of the new Prime Minister."

"There's a new Prime Minister?" Petunia looked at her sister with a dumbfounded look on her face.

"Yes, sweetie, there is. We were just discussing his recent political moves."

"Oh, well…" Lily stalled. She really had not been paying any attention to muggle politics and, having been at Hogwarts for the past 10 months, had failed to realize that a new minster was being appointed.

"Of course she has no idea," Petunia pointed out, "she's too busy with that freak show school."

"You know what? Fine! Ridicule me as much as you want to, Petunia," Lily exploded as she pushed back her chair and stood up, "Next time I'll make fun of you when you don't know who the Minister of Magic is."

"As if I'd want to know about that freak!" Petunia shrieked back at her sister.

"Petunia, Lily, stop that this instant," Anne scolded her daughters, "Petunia stop that shrieking; Lily sit down and finish your supper."

"I'm not hungry anymore," Lily said, turning her back on the table and starting towards the stairs. She could hear her sister's scoffing but she didn't care. She was sick of playing nice while Petunia poked fun at her new life and insulted her friends. Lily slammed the door to her room and fell down onto her bed. What she really wanted to do was talk to Severus, but that wasn't a choice. This was going to be a long summer.

***

"We're home!" James and Sirius called upstairs together once back at the Potter Estate. The four boys were all carrying bags and bags of robes, muggle clothing, toiletries, and a new Cleansweep 4. They'd have to go back to Diagon Alley for school things once they got their booklists.

Grace Potter came down the main stairs and smiled at the boys.

"Why don't you all sit down in the den, I'll have Tinkey bring us tea." They all shuffled into the other room and plopped into chairs and sofas, all nice and squishy. Grace lowered herself more gracefully into her favorite chair and made sure she knew exactly which snacks the boys wanted. She then insisted on seeing everything they had bought, just short of a fashion show.

"Well," Peter said, "it's getting late. I should probably get home. My Mum is expecting me for dinner and I have to floo over to Helen's friend's house to pick her up. For some reason, Mum doesn't think a twelve year old is capable of flooing home alone. Ridiculous. Anyways, thank you for the snacks Mrs. Potter."

"Peter, Peter," Grace laughed, "how often do I have to tell you to please call me Grace."

"Oh yeah, thank you for tea, Grace. I'll see you guys later."

"Bye Wormtail," James waved as his friend walked to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder, "Owl us frequently and never hesitate to drop by."

"I'll be here!" Sirius called, "Ciao!" The three boys waved as Peter stepped into the fire and was engulfed by green flames.

"Are you going to stay for dinner, Moony?" James asked once Peter had disappeared and the flames had returned to their normal colour.

"No, I don't think so," he answered.

"Why not, Mooooooooooony?" Sirius whined.

"I'm kind of tired, I have an engagement in a few nights that I have to prepare for."

"Oh, yeah. Well, have fun with that," Sirius said with a playful shove.

"If you'd like us to join you in that engagement, we'd love to assist in anyway," James added, "would that be okay, Mum?"

"Yes, of course," Grace answered, "Goodbye Remus. I hope to see you soon." Remus stepped into the fireplace where Peter had just been and disappeared. Sirius stared at the fireplace where Remus had just been.

"Padfoot," James said, interrupting Sirius' thoughtful stare, "we should probably get all this stuff to your room before dinner."

"Right," Sirius said, snapping out of his trance, "If we can manage it all without magic…"

"You two go along and get ready for dinner," Grace offered, "I'll have Tinkey bring your stuff up when she gets a chance." The two marauders smiled their thanks and ran off towards James' room.

"This is so exciting, Prongs," Sirius exclaimed once they'd reached James' room, "we're going to be living together like brothers!"

"We can play Quidditch every day!" James said excitedly, "I'll finally have somebody to play with again."

"And don't forget the pranks!"

"No, I could never forget those."

"And flirting. We can get ourselves flings to pass the long hours of freedom from schoolwork."

"I don't know how much I want a fling… I have Lily."

"Prongs, man, she hates you."

"That is beside the point. She's still mine. And don't tell me you don't have your eye on a special someone."

"We'll see," Sirius replied mysteriously, a faraway look in his eyes, "We'll see, Prongs." The two boys smiled at each other, thinking of all the fun they would have over the next two months. It was going to an amazing summer.


	3. Letters

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It owns me.

A/N: This fic can also be found under the pen name Flameintheflood

**Chapter 3: Letters**

_July 5__th_

_Dear Wormtail,_

_Padfoot and I have just had what is quite possibly our best idea yet. And, no, it does not include a prank. I know how that will disappoint you. The fact that our best is not very much disheartens me as well. But, if you dare to believe it, we have come up with something even better. After much discussion, we have decided that we need to honour your 16__th__ birthday in a way only marauders can honour it. That is to say -_

_**What Prongs is trying to spit out, Wormtail, is that –**_

_Sorry, mate. Padfoot stole the parchment. As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted –_

_**We are going to throw you the absolute best birthday party any marauder could ever hope or dream of. Right here at the Potter Estate. With everything you could ever want! Balloons, butterbeer, firecrackers, cake, firewhiskey, you name it!**_

_Please let us know if you would allow us to throw you such a party._

_**Not that you really have the choice (sorry Wormy).**_

_As soon as possible so that we can begin to plan._

_We solemnly swear that we are up to no good,_

_Prongs and __**Padfoot**_

***

_July 10__th_

_Lily,_

_I miss you so much! I can't believe that it hasn't even been two weeks since I saw you last. Mum said we could have you all over though, so hopefully that will work for everyone. It will have to wait a while though, because we're going on holiday to France tomorrow!!! I'm so excited. Of course we'll look at all the muggle attractions my father remembers from going there when he was younger, but apparently there are lots of historical wizarding places too! I'll be home in two weeks though, and then we can all hang out._

_How is your summer going? Is Petunia being awful? Fill me in on everything!_

_Your best friend,_

_Allie_

***

_July 12__th_

_P & P,_

_Party idea sounds great. Just let me know when it is and I'll make sure my parents let me come. What else have you two been up to besides planning the party? Have you heard from Remus at all? _

_Mischief Managed,_

_Wormtail_

***

_July 15__th_

_Moony,_

_How has your summer been? Do you miss me yet? Prongs and I have been getting up to all sorts of entertaining things. Mostly Quidditch (which I know you hate playing) and a few small pranks. They are hard to do though, without magic. It requires our best marauding to make sure Mr. and Mrs. Potter don't catch us before the prank happens. They usually find out afterwards though that it was us. For some reason they don't usually believe us that the house elves or flowers are to blame…_

_How was your monthly moment? I can't wait for next year. We will have so much fun! I only wish we'd mastered the transformations sooner. But then Wormtail would have probably been stuck with a tail permanently. We can thank you for all that caution._

_Plans for Wormy's party are coming along great. Don't worry, Prongs and I haven't even touched our summer homework!_

_Your fellow marauder,_

_Padfoot_

***

_July 17__th_

_Evans,_

_Will you go out with me? Please?_

_James_

***

_July 17__th_

_Not if it was a choice between you and the Whomping Willow_

***

_July 17__th_

_Allie, Maia and Kate_

_James Potter just asked me out again! Via owl! What does that arrogant prat think he is doing? I thought that I had made myself clear at the end of last term! I could never go out with somebody as conceited and just downright horrible as James Potter. He just infuriates me beyond all measures of sanity!_

_Lils_

***

_July 18__th_

_Fellow Marauders,_

_Prongs asked out Lily. Why he did this, only that idiot knows. Apparently she'd rather go out with the Whomping Willow. I don't think I've ever seen anyone pine over something as much as he has been with this Lily situation. _

_In other, more cheerful, news, Prongs and I have settled on a guest list for Peter's party. We've concluded that all 5-7__th__ year Gryffindors and a few lucky people from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff should be invited. _

_I solemly swear and all that good stuff,_

_Padfoot_

***

_July 20__th_

_Allie,_

_France sounds awesome. I wish my family could go too! But my parents are on a tour of wizarding America for an article for the _Prophet_, so I'm stuck here with my brother all summer. I suppose that's alright, as he's not too bad, especially considering that he's the protective type of older brother. But France just sounds amazing. _

_Have you started on the homework yet? Knowing you, you probably finished it before you even left for France. Which is, may I add, quite ridiculous. I doubt Kate or the boys have done it… I started it. That is, to say, I took the books out and put them on my desk. Yes. I can hear you laughing so please stop now? Thanks!_

_I think Lily likes James. There was too much hate in that last letter for there to not be some love, right? Right? I know I'm right._

_Peace,_

_Maia_

***

_July 21__st_

_Padfoot,_

_The full moon was no worse than was to be expected. Thanks for asking. Are you alright? I know you don't want to talk about leaving home. But know that, if you ever need to talk to anybody, I'll always be there to listen._

_Take Prongs out to the Quidditch pitch. That should distract him. Maybe invite Kate over too, she would probably always be up for some extra practice. I've never met anybody as obsessed with Quidditch as those two are. Gryffindor would be lost without them I think._

_Managing mischief,_

_Moony_

***

_July 25__th_

_Lily, Maia and Allie,_

_It was great seeing you all the other day. I miss you three again already! I just got back from James' house. He and Sirius invited me over to play Quidditch. It was a bit of a surprise really, but being invited over was nowhere near the surprise as the Potter Estate. And, no, I kid you not when I say the Potter Estate. He has a Quidditch pitch (smaller than international standard, but still!), extensive flower gardens with paths running through them, at least ten bedrooms as well as several sitting rooms and a library. Oh yes, and the sea. The estate is right on the English Channel! You would all have been amazed. And, don't worry, you all will be. James and Sirius are throwing a birthday party for Peter there and we're all invited. Don't get that disgusted look on your face, Lily. I know you at least want to see where Prince Potter grew up. I may go again next week to do some summer training with James!_

_Love to all of you,_

_Kate_

***

_July 26__th_

_Remus,_

_Thank you very much for the birthday package. I miss you. It's hard not seeing you every day in the summer. It feels like ages since I saw you last, even though we just saw each other last week. I'm sure you've finished your summer homework already. I finished mine up when I got back from France. Are you going to Peter's party? I guess I'll see you there for sure if we can't get together some time before then._

_Yours,_

_Allie_

***

_July 28th_

_Kate,_

_I got the invite to Peter's party today. Ugh. It reeks of Potter's arrogance and wealth. Just look at the thing! If it weren't for you guys being there and for that I sincerely like Remus and Peter, there is no way I would ever consider going. I continually fail to see how you can spend so much time with Potter!_

_Petunia is being horrible. She's barely spoken to me all summer except to call me an abnormal freak. I really hope she doesn't come home next year. I can tell that it is hard on Mum and Dad, but it's all I can do to prevent myself from breaking the underage wizardry laws and hexing her to oblivion! If I'm not careful, my temper may get the best of me. _

_It's weird being home and not being able to talk to Severus. I know how much you all dislike him, but despite whatever impression you had of him, he really was good to me. He was my best friend for years. I know you girls understand. It's the same thing that would be happening if for some reason I were to sever ties with any of you. I can't wait to go back to Hogwarts and for life to be normal again._

_Your friend,_

_Lily_

***

_July 31__st_

_Allie,_

_I'm glad to know you enjoyed your gift and that you had fun in France. Yes, I will be going to Peter's party. How could I not? But I would definitely like to see you again before then. Let me know when works for you._

_Yours,_

_Remus_

***

_August 2__nd_

_Padfoot and Prongs,_

_I can't wait for my party. Can you meet Moony and I in Diagon Alley on the 5__th__ of August? I am in desperate need of marauding._

_Wormtail_

***

_August 4__th_

_Lils,_

_I miss you!!!!!!!!!! I'm giving you a huge hug right now! I'm so sorry this summer is so hard for you. I'm crying. No, really, I am. Okay… so I'm not. But I am sorry. Petunia has a stick up her arse and it just jealous. Just think, you'll be an amazing member of the Ministry of Magic while she's off with her perfect husband in a perfect house in a neighborhood that looks like it came from that muggle move the _Stepford Wives_. Okay? And try not to worry about Severus. You have us. You have your girl friends. And we're always going to be here for you. Forget about the slimy git. Because that's what he is, understand? I can tell you don't. But pretend you do. Good girl. _

_See you on the 25__th__ for Peter's party,_

_Maia_

***

_August 5__th_

_Padfoot,_

_May I inquire as to the time of day?_

_Prongs_

***

_August 5__th_

_Prongs, you are a prat for writing me a note while we're eating ice cream in the middle of Diagon Alley. Use that large mouth that you can never keep closed or check your own bloody watch. Padfoot._

***

_August 5__th_

_Wormtail,_

_Could you please hit Padfoot on the head for me?_

_Prongs_

***

_August 5__th_

_Prongs, mate, ow! You wonder why Evans doesn't like you? It's because you're bloody annoying. Padfoot_

***

_August 6__th_

_Moony,_

_Prongs and I found the best shop today in a muggle joke shop near the Potter Estate. Loads of stuff that we can bewitch to make even better when we get back to school. Even you, with your shiny prefects badge, won't be able to stop us. Not that you tried all that often. I think you just have a weak spot for me._

_Padfoot_

***

_August 10__th_

_Maia,_

_Do your school work. Now. Pick up your quill, open your books and do it._

_Best,_

_Allie_

***

_August 12__th_

_Padfoot,_

_I would like to point out that there is less than a month until school starts and, despite the fact that you and Prongs somehow managed to get O's on all your OWLs apart from History of Magic, you two need to get started on your homework._

_The Prefect,_

_Moony_

***

_August 15__th_

_Moony,_

_Is it your intent to ruin Padfoot and my leisurely holiday of pranking and flying? And, I would like you to know, that we are very hurt that you just assume we have no academic responsibility. Not that you are completely off mark. However, we have been looking into many areas of interest. I just may have come up with an idea to top any we've ever had before. Even better than Wormtail's party. But I will share this information with you once we are on the train and I have had time to thoroughly thing it through and plan it. It could quite possibly change our marauding life forever._

_Yours in mischief and trickery,_

_Prongs_

***

_August 17__th_

_Lily,_

_You have to come to Peter's party. I don't care if James asks you out again, you are coming. You have no choice. _

_Kate_

***

_August 20__th_

_P & P,_

_My party is in 5 days. I'm starting to fear what you two could have possibly planned for me. What time should I come over? I'm having birthday tea with my parents and Helen at 3. By the way, Padfoot, Helen wants me to say hello to you for her. I haven't the heart to tell her that you'll never be interested._

_Wormtail_

***

_August 21__st_

_Wormtail and Moony,_

_Be at the Potter Estate no later than 6pm on the 25__th__ to help with the final arrangements for the party. Guests arrive at 9._

_Padfoot_

***

_August 24__th_

_Girls,_

_The party starts tomorrow at nine. Why don't you all come over to my house at 6 for dinner and getting ready and we can floo over together. I can't wait to see you. The party should be amazing!_

_Allie_


	4. Party Time

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. It owns me

**Chapter 4: Party time**

_If you're alone and you need a friend  
Someone to make you forget your problems  
Just come along baby  
Take my hand  
I'll be your lover tonight  
-Vengaboys_

"Okay mates," Sirius jittered excitedly on the night of August 25th, "It is quarter to nine and people will probably be fashionably late for the nine o'clock start. Let's get this place partied up!"

Remus raised his eyebrows at his ridiculously cute, party-happy friend before turning to look at the expressions on his equally bemused friends' faces. James was rolling his eyes, apparently at Sirius' slaughter of the English language, and trying to fix his hair which seemed even more messed up than usual (he probably used some product). Peter clearly hadn't been listening too carefully; he was fidgeting with the collar of his shirt and glancing around.

"This shouldn't be too hard," Peter said, trying to cover up his nervousness with nonchalant observations. "This rocky beach is pretty damn beautiful."

"Yeah, I like the trees; they make a nice border and give privacy if necessary," Sirius piped in, mischief in his eyes. The marauders all laughed. They knew, only too well, exactly what type of privacy Sirius was hinting at. He continued, "Anyways, we need balloons! And a table for the food! And a keg. And streamers. I'm thinking Red and Gold?"

"Well, yeah," Peter nodded. "But we only have 10 minutes!"

"I told you we should've started at 6 like we planned, but no," Remus lectured, " James had to fix his hair for half an hour and then Sirius insisted on eating before the party in case we were too busy… which, by the way, I don't quite understand; eating is an important part of the whole party experience!"

"Well, actually," James started with a cough, "Mum said that she'd look the other way while we used magic to set up. We're close enough to the residence for it not to be detected as underage wizardry."

Remus coughed and gave the bespectacled boy a pointed look.

"What?" James asked, putting on an innocent expression that would've fooled any non marauder.

"That's illegal," Remus stated bluntly.

"So is running around as animagus with a werewolf every month!" Sirius barked with humour.

"It's all about helping a friend," James continued, putting his arms around Remus' and Peter's shoulders.

"Now," said Sirius, "Let's show this beach what a Marauder party looks like!"

Several minutes later the sandless beach looked over the top amazing. Half a dozen tables were lined up parallel to the water and several chairs were placed in a circle around an already blazing bonfire. Twinkling lights floated above their heads to illuminate the surroundings. On the opposite end of the area, near the tree line, was a table covered with cakes, crisps, biscuits and a wide variety of sliced veggies. Next to the table sat a keg of butterbeer as well as coolers filled with pop and juice. There was also a bar supplied with firewhiskey and other harder liquors.

"Upper classmen only!" Remus had said in reference to the bar, thinking about how he didn't want any drunken soon-to-be-5th years running around. Sirius nodded and put a jinx on the harder liquor so that only those above 16 years of age would be able to drink without breaking out in awful hives. Under Remus' instructions he also put a sign on the bar warning the younger guests of the consequences of underage drinking.

"The guests will be arriving any time now," James said, checking his watch, "we should go take our positions near the fireplaces to greet them upon their arrivals." Peter, Remus and Sirius nodded and followed James up the lighted path to the house, "Wormtail and I will cover the library entrance. Prongs and Moony, you can wait for people in the living room."

"What's goin' on, Moony?" Sirius asked, as he and Remus made their way towards the living room.

"I'm with you, waiting for guests for Peter's party." Remus laughed at the obvious question.

"Peter's party; it's alliteration!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus nodded and smiled, wishing he had something clever to say. Since when was it nerve wracking to talk with Sirius? It was something he'd done nearly every day for the past five years. Why did he suddenly find himself intimidated? Remus was searching for something witty to say when flames erupted in the fireplace. Josh Mason, the captain and seeker for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team appeared, followed by two of his chasers. Sirius jumped up to high five them all and give detailed directions on how to follow the path down to the beach.

"Sirius," Remus commented after the Ravenclaws left, "I think they can find their way to the beach without help. It is just down the path, right next to the ocean. Besides, they're Ravenclaws, full of wit and all."

"I guess I never really thought Ravenclaws were all they were built up to be," Sirius smirked. "I mean, the three smartest guys in the school are in Gryffindor!"

"I'm not sure you guys are the _smartest_," Remus laughed. Sirius looked pensive for a moment then shook his dark hair.

"Well, you're definitely the smartest, and _you're_ in Gryffindor!"

Remus tried to contradict his friend but was cut off by flame erupting once more from the fireplace. Soon the boys didn't have much time to talk as more and more people started showing up.

***

"How many people did you invite to this party?" Peter asked James during a lull after ten seventh years had left the library to make their way down to the beach, "do all these people even know who I am?"

"Of course they do Wormtail," James assured his short friend, "you're a marauder. Everybody knows us!" Peter smiled weakly and began to respond when flames erupted once again in the fireplace, but James was no longer paying attention. Lily Evans had just appeared in the fireplace, followed shortly by Maia Regarne, Allie Korets and Kate Brown.

"Hey Lily," James said with a cocky smile towards the redhead.

"Where's the party, Potter?" Lily responded in an annoyed tone. James just continued to smile his cocky smile and take in her presence. Lily's red hair fell in soft waves to just below her collarbone. Her forest green camisole accented her emerald green eyes. There was no doubt that the 16 year old looked absolutely stunning. The other girls, in Peter's opinion at any rate, looked just as nice in their muggle style clothing. Maia, a spunky, friendly girl, with short brown hair accented strongly with chunks of red and blonde, wore a strapless black shirt with a huge peace sign, a denim mini skirt and black combat boots. Between Maia and Lily, and standing almost a head shorter, was Remus' girlfriend, Allie. Her straight dark brown hair was held out of her face with two barrettes precisely the same colour as her sundress. On Lily's other side stood Kate whose dark hair was in a low ponytail. She looked sporty in blue and green Quidditch tank top and baggy guy shorts.

"Potter," Lily snapped again, "where can we go to escape your presence?"

"Aw, Evans," James retorted, "be nice to your host." But he pointed them towards the door that lead out to the path.

"Where's Remus?" Allie asked quietly. Her friends rolled their eyes at her shyness. They knew that, although she was shy around people she wasn't good friends with, once you really got to know her she never shut up.

"In the room down the hall," Peter answered kindly, "the one full of books with people leaving it." Allie smiled her appreciation and hurried out to greet her boyfriend.

"C'mon guys," Lily said, "I'm sick of being in this house."

"Aw, don't be like that, Evans," Maia said in a good imitation of James. The girls and Peter laughed. James looked a bit taken aback but quickly covered it up by returning once more to his cocky grin. The three Gryffindor 6th years followed Allie out of the room, Kate and Maia with a wave at the boys, Lily with a severely disgruntled expression on her face.

"Lily loves me," James said, mostly to himself, as he watched the girls leave the room.

"Yeah," Peter chuckled, "just keep telling yourself that, Prongs." Just then, two girls that Peter had never talked to before, but had seen several times in the Gryffindor common room, appeared in the fireplace. The first one, Kristi Alith, was tall and lanky with freckles curly beach blonde hair. However, it was the second girl who real caught Peter's eye.

Heather White had definitely grown up some in the two months since she'd completed her fourth year at Hogwarts. She had rosy cheeks and layered sandy blonde hair with wispy bangs which fell right above her baby blue eyes. The short girl wore a fitted cerulean vest over a white short sleeved button down and embroidered dark wash jeans.

"Hey," she said softly, biting her lower lip and looking at Peter, "I'm Heather."

"Yeah, I know," he answered stupidly, "I'm Peter."

"Yeah, I know." The short blonde giggled. James looked back and forth between his friend and the fifth year. He was quite unused to Peter talking to girls.

"So, where's the party?" Kristi asked with an exasperated expression towards her friend.

"Here," Peter said, "I'll show you. Follow me." He led the two girls out of the room leaving a slightly jaded James to greet the rest of the party guests.

***

"Remus?" Allie called as she wandered into the library.

"Hey, love," Remus responded, turning away from his conversation with Sirius and walking over to give his girlfriend a hug. Allie smiled at him and planted a light kiss on his lips, which he returned. Sirius watched them with a strange look on his face.

"Hi Allie!" he interrupted the couple in a slightly too loud voice, "Do you need directions to the party?"

"No, thanks. I just came by to say hello to Remus. James pointed me in the right direction."

"I see," Sirius answered, "well, you don't want to miss any of the party. Bye!"

"I'll see you down there in a bit?" she asked Remus, giving Sirius a strange look. Remus nodded and gave her another kiss before she left to catch up with her friends.

"Sirius," Remus started annoyed, "what was that?"

"What was what?"

"You basically just kicked Allie out!" Sirius shuffled his feet uncomfortably.

"I just didn't want her to get lost, y'know. This house can be pretty big."

"Seriously, Sirius?"

"Seriously." The two stared at each other for a moment. Remus, not knowing how to respond, just shook his head.

"Moony? Padfoot?" James had entered the room, breaking up the awkward staring contest, "I'm fairly certain that most of the guests have arrived. I'll have Tinkey point the way to any latecomers." They nodded and followed James out the door and down the path to join the party.

***

This had to be the best birthday Peter had ever had. The stony beach was full of teenaged witches and wizards dancing, talking, eating and just in general having a good time. Remus was sitting with Allie looking out over the sea. James was busy talking to several admiring girls, though he kept stealing glances at Lily who was busy talking to Maia, Kate and her 6th year Hufflepuff boyfriend, Caleb Hannings near the bar where Sirius stood serving shots and chatting up boys and girls alike. Peter laughed and turned his attention back to the girl he was dancing with.

"Thanks for inviting me to you party, Peter," Heather said with a smile, "I'm really having a good time."

"Well," Peter answered without thinking, "I didn't really have any say in the guest list. That was all James and Sirius."

"Oh…" the girl's face fell and Peter realized his mistake.

"But I'm really glad they invited you." Heather and Peter smiled at each other and continued to dance. Sirius smiled as he watched his friend with the Gryffindor 5th year. Peter had never had much luck with girls but he'd grown a couple inches over the summer, causing him to be less chubby. He turned his eyes to Remus, who was still talking quietly with Allie near the water. Sirius tore his eyes away from the couple, forcing his attention to Kate, Maia, Lily and Caleb.

"Good party, Sirius," Caleb said.

"Of course it's good," Sirius said with a smile, "I'm here." They all laughed, even Lily.

"James is staring at you, Lils," Maia told her friend.

"Of course he is, the prat," Lily retorted, scrunching her freckled nose up in distaste.

"You know," Kate said, "he really isn't all that bad. He's quite possibly the most eligible bachelor at this party!" Caleb and Sirius both coughed. Kate continued, "Well, Caleb is taken. By me."

"And Sirius, you're gay," Maia piped in, "So don't complain about not having any girls. Fair many hearts were broken when you came out last year."

"Well, James can be eligible for somebody else," Lily said, disgust in her voice.

"And yet," Kate teased, "he has eyes only for you." Lily shot her a glowering look.

"Oh, Lils," Maia laughed, "lighten up. It's a party. Here, have some butterbeer." Lily took it, still glowering at her friends.

"I like this song," Kate said, changing the topic as a Catchlove song began to play.

"Would you like to dance, love?" Caleb asked.

"I'd love to," Kate answered and pulled her boyfriend off to the dancing area.

"Us few, us single few," Sirius said with a laugh as he watched the couple leave, "I never thought the day would come when Peter and some Hufflepuff bloke would be off dancing while I stood at the bar and served drinks."

"You know," Maia answered, "you always have me. And all the other girls who would just love to straighten you up."

"As you wish, babe," Sirius laughed, pulling her into a one-armed hug, "but I don't know how long I could stay straight for." Lily sighed and continued to drink her butterbeer silently.

"Lily," Maia turned to her friend, "any guy here would love to dance with you. Go have fun. Make James jealous."

"Fine, I will," she answered, "but not to make Potter jealous, never to make Potter jealous." And with that she set her butterbeer down on a table and walked towards a group of 7th year boys.

"Well, I guess it's just you and me now," Sirius said with a wink. Maia rolled her eyes.

"Actually," she said, as a tall, unfamiliar boy walked by, "he's cute. So I'll ditch you now. Sorry." She ran off, leaving Sirius alone. His eyes wandered once more to the whispering couple on the shore.

"Excuse me," he said to the crowd of people at the bar as he grabbed a bottle of firewhiskey and went to stand closer to Remus and Allie. He was almost close enough to make out what they were saying when Josh Mason approached Allie and Remus from the other side.

"Excuse me, Remus," he asked politely, tapping him on the shoulder, "would you mind if I borrowed Allie for one dance?"

"If she doesn't mind, I don't," Remus answered. Allie smiled at him, kissed his cheek and followed Josh to the dancing area. Sirius took a drink of firewhiskey straight from the bottle and went to sit down by his friend.

"Your girl left you, I see," Sirius said, handing Remus the bottle.

"Yeah, well she's spent the entire night so far with me. She's allowed to have some fun as well."

"Time with you isn't fun?" Remus shrugged and took a drink from the bottle. Sirius looked at his friend for a second before continuing, "Well, I think it's fun. Let's play a game."

"What kind of game?" Remus asked apprehensively.

"A drinking game. Shoot, shag or marry. Drinking style."

"How do you play that drinking style?"

"Drink every time you choose." Remus looked at his friend. He'd known him for five years, yet the dark haired Black still managed to surprise him.

"You know, Padfoot, that's not really a game. That's just drinking while playing a game."

"Shut up. You go first."

"Okay," Remus mulled it over for a second, "James, Peter and me." Sirius stared.

Half an hour later Allie was off dancing with her girlfriends, Peter had left to go on a walk with Heather and James was sitting on the side of the dance floor, a butterbeer in his hands, looking severely depressed. Nobody was paying attention to the two drinking marauders. Remus and Sirius had moved off to the side of the clearing, next to the water, and were way past tipsy.

"Okay," Sirius slurred, taking yet another swig of firewhiskey and handing it to Remus, "my turn. Shoot, shag or marry? Allie Korets, Lily Evans or the most dashingly handsome Sirius Black? Wow, I sounded like Prongs right there! Though, I must say, I am rather dashingly handsome."

"Okay. I will marry Allie, because she's my girlfriend. And that's what you do with them. I'd shag Lily… but Prongs would kill me. So that would not be good. So I guess that means I have to shag you."

"Would you want to shag me?" Sirius asked quietly. Remus blushed but didn't answer. Instead he just leaned forward, barely an inch away from his friend. Sirius continued, in a whispering voice, "because I don't know really that I'd wanna shag you. Prongs might not approve."

"Prongs can turn into a deer," Remus whispered back, as he looked into his friends' grey eyes. Their legs brushed against each others as Sirius breath became hot on Remus face.

"Yes, he can. So, are you gonna shag me or what?" Again, Remus didn't answer, but just leaned in even closer towards his friend. Sirius closed the remaining space between them as their lips met. Remus grabbed Sirius' hand, intertwining their fingers. With his free hand, Sirius tugged Remus' shirt closer to his chest. Remus parted his lips, deepening the kiss. Just then a bang sounded from across the clearing. Remus and Sirius jumped apart and looked up, spilling the firewhiskey on the rocks. Somebody had let off a firework which was now bouncing, like a skipping stone, out to sea.

"Bugger," Sirius muttered.

"No," Remus said, standing, "no, that did not just happen." And he set off without another word. Sirius stared at the broken bottle, wishing he could have more to drink.


	5. Summer's End

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter :(

**Chapter 5: Summer's End**

_Been looking forward to the future  
But my eyesight is going bad  
And this crystal ball  
Is always cloudy except for  
When you look into the past_

_-Fall Out Boy_

It was the last day of August and, while the party at the Potter Estate had given everybody a break from the monotony of summer, the Gryffindor 6th years were all pleased that it was the last day of the summer holiday. James continued to brood over Lily; Remus had been avoiding Sirius (who was busy brooding over him) in what was a failed-to-be-subtle way. Lily was finding it difficult to deal with her sister's attitude, especially without her friendship with Severus to distract her. Peter had kept in touch with Heather via owl post and both eagerly anticipated spending more time together. Maia had worn out the excitement in the small town her parents lived in, so she went to visit Allie in London for the last few days of summer. Allie enjoyed the time with her friend and remained completely oblivious to any unfaithfulness on the part of her boyfriend and could not wait to see him again on the train. Kate had been busy training and working out all summer to stay in shape for Quidditch in the fall. Little to say, none of them could wait to get back to Hogwarts.

"Mom! Could you please summon my parchment?" Kate yelled down the stairs from her chaotic room. "I can't find it anywhere!"

"What?!" Her mother's muffled voice came up the stairwell.

" I said!" Kate continued at the top of her lungs. "I can't find my parchment!"

Her father stepped out of his office to walk down the hall towards her daughter.

"Honey, did you look everywhere?" He asked kindly.

"Well… no," Kate admitted. "But if I could just do a quick summoning spell!"

"Nope," Greg chuckled. "Look for it the muggle way. It'll build character."

Kate groaned at her father and jogged over to her brother's room.

Rob was a seventh year in Hufflepuff. The lucky bastard was seventeen and of age; maybe he would be helpful.

"Rob! I can't find my parchment!" Kate whined, bursting through his door. He lay on his bed, his Hogwarts trunk already perfectly packed. "Summon it for me?"

"I don't know…" Rob grinned slowly.

"Please!"

"Okay, but don't say I never do anything for you!"

"Rob!"

"Fine, fine!" Rob pulled out his wand "_Accio Kate's parchment!"_

Hundreds of blank pieces of parchment fluttered around Kate's face, giving her about half a dozen paper cuts. "Gee, thanks."

"No problem!" Rob grinned cheekily.

"Hey, you wanna go for a run with me after I'm done packing?" Kate suggested sucking on a papercut on her thumb.

"You've already ran me out!" Rob exclaimed. "A whole, what, 3 miles earlier? I'm so not that in shape, sis!"

"Fine, I'll just go now by myself," Kate jumped up leaving her mess of parchment all over Rob's floor. "Bye!"

"Kate! Your parchment!?"

But Kate was already on her way out the door and running around the streets of Cork, Ireland.

Lily sat on her bed reviewing everything for the third time.

"Robes: Check! Socks: Check! Hat: Check! Muggle clothing: Check! Quill and parchments: Check! Spellbooks! Check… wait! oh no!" She jumped off her bed and ran down to the living room. On the coffee table was her DADA text book _Practical Uses of Advanced Defensive Spells. _Petunia sat on the couch reading a gossip magazine, her feet resting up onto the coffee table right next to Lily's book.

Lily reached across her legs for her book and Petunia jumped, kicking her feet into Lily's face.

"Ouch! Bloody hell! Petunia!" Lily screeched in pain. She raised her fingers to her face to feel blood gushing out of her nose.

"Oh… you surprised me!" Petunia screeched back.

"Ugh! It's okay. Just, hand me my spell book." Lily held out the hand not covered in blood. Petunia flinched away and held onto her knees.

"I'm not touching that thing!" Petunia gasped in reference to the spell book. Lily snorted, hurting her bloodied nose. She grabbed the book and stalked into the kitchen to put some ice on her face.

"Severus," She whispered, knowing she was only talking to herself. "Sev, I can't stand her! I can't stand stupid James Potter! You know he asked me out again in a letter? But I just can't stand Petunia right now. I can't stand being a freak in both worlds. I'm a freak here because I'm a witch and I'm a freak at Hogwarts because my parents aren't magical… I just…I wish you could tell me she was just jealous… I wish you could tell me that it doesn't matter. I wish it didn't matter…"

"Lily? Who are you talking to?" Her father's voice rang from the hall.

"Nobody!"

"Freak!" Petunia called from the Living room. "Talking to nobody? Yeah, right!"

Lily's eyes started to water as her father scolded her sister for what was probably the millionth time this summer. _At least it would be the last time until next summer,_ Lily told herself. She could survive this one last night. Lily knew that, but still, she let the tears fall; she let them fall just this last time.

***

James and Sirius sat alone in James' room with two butterbeers and a bowl of tortilla chips. Their completely packed trunks sat downstairs by the door. The only things they left out were the muggle clothing they planned on wearing to the station.

The boys sat without talking, staring off in different directions, too much on their minds to notice the silence. It was a comfortable but unhappy quiet.

_Crunch, crunch. Slurp swallow._

These were the sounds that broke Sirius out of his trance. He tore his gaze from the Quidditch poster on the wall to look at his friend as James ate the chips and washed them down with butterbeer.

"What's up Prongs?" He asked, leaning back on James' mattress. "Lily doing cartwheels in your brain again?"

"No."

"You don't have to lie to me, brother," Sirius barked laughter. "I know you have Lily-itis."

"Yeah," James grinned reluctantly, "But she's not doing cartwheels. More like back hand springs."

"Ah, I see," Sirius said teasingly, putting on his play-therapist expression. "And how do you feel about that?"

"Resolved," James answered.

"I see…" Sirius said, pressing his lips together in attempt to hold back laughter, "These are understandable feelings. They are part of the getting-the-bloody-hell-over-her process."

"Shut it." James shoved Sirius shoulder, causing him to fall off the bed.

"You need to get over her, mate," Sirius answered as he stood up and sat back down on the bed with an exaggerated wince.

"No," James replied thoughtfully, "I'm resolved to have her love me, not to get over her. Never to get over her." Sirius raised an eyebrow but let his fellow marauder continue.

"I'm done asking her out. If she wants me, she knows I'm available. I'm just… going to talk to her, be nice to her, and really get to know her. Let her decide if she wants to get to know me back."

"If you think it'll work," Sirius shrugged as James went back to staring out the window, "But I think that, sometimes, no matter how well you know each other, and maybe even how much you like each other, something is going to get in the way. In at least one persons mind something has to hold them back. Whether it's habit of hatred, or stupid morals or shit, or maybe just because he doesn't want to ruin a friendship or freak you out… Yeah. I don't know, but I say you get over it." Sirius looked at James, expecting some acknowledgment of his advice but the messy haired boy, apparently, had tuned him out, which was just as well, as Sirius had seemed to forget he was supposed to be talking about James and Lily.

"Yeah, I'll let her get to know me," James repeated, eyes fixed unseeingly at the outdoors.

"Right, just get over it, man," Sirius responded, turning his attention back to the Quidditch poster. The two boys grabbed handfuls of tortilla chips and began crunching again.

***

"Are you two all packed?" Allie's mother, Carrie, asked as she, Allie and Maia sat in the Korets' backyard having evening tea.

"Yes, mum," Allie answered politely, though with a touch of impatience, "You've asked us that two times already today. We're sixteen; I think we're old enough to pack for school."

"Oh, well, sometimes I forget." Carrie said with a smile, "well, you two go check under the beds and everything just to make sure while I clean up here." Allie restrained herself from rolling her eyes at her mother, and the two friends went into the house and up the stairs, pass the bedroom Allie's younger sisters shared, and into Allie's room.

"Seriously, we've checked, double checked and triple checked!" Allie complained to Maia, who just shrugged and grinned.

"I don't mind. It's nice of her to let me stay over so I don't have to travel in the morning. But it's true, if we checked anymore we would grow spots!"

"What are you talking about? That doesn't even make sense!" Allie exclaimed, bemused. Maia just shook her head and stuck her tongue out.

"I barely ever know what I'm talking about. I probably shouldn't be allowed to talk."

"That's for sure!" Maia stuck her tongue out again, causing Allie to laugh.

"How about we don't quadruple check for our belongings," Allie said, sitting down on her bed and leaning against the wall, legs crossed.

"I agree," Maia answered, joining her, "we wouldn't want to grow spots or anything." Allie just shook her head. The two girls sat in silence for a couple minutes, both pondering what the next year would bring.

"I bet NEWT level classes will be so much harder!" Allie fretted. "We'll have to work extra hard. That means an hour of studying per class per night. _Minimum!"_

"No way!" Maia disagreed. "We're young and beautiful! I suppose I _could_ try to work like that- and I'd succeed - for about a week. But then I'd get bored. Besides, won't you want to spend time with Remus?"

"Yes! I'm so excited!" Allie nodded vigorously. "We'll study together! He's so smart and just as dedicated as I am. I swear he's the perfect boyfriend."

Maia groaned in exasperation at her friends' eagerness, "You wouldn't know! He's the first boy you've ever even liked! Let alone dated or, 'gasp,' kissed!"

"That's not true! There were… boys. Maybe."

"Sure…" Maia smirked. "Either way, I doubt you'll get much studying done."

"We're dedicated!" The short girl insisted hitting Maia with her pillow.

"Yeah, dedicated to snogging!" Maia giggled hitting her back with a stuffed animal. The girls lapsed into thoughtful silence again, Allie thinking about Remus and Maia wondering who her next fling would be with. Suddenly, Maia bounced up and over to her purse that was lying on top of her packed trunk. She pulled out two nail polishes, a light pink for Allie and a hot turquoise for herself.

"We must look fabulous for tomorrow!" Maia exclaimed.

"Okay," Allie agreed, "just don't spill on my bed. My mum will be angry because she can't use magic to fix it, being muggle and all. And if my dad finds out I ruined a bedspread, he'll be furious."

"I won't spill it, Allie. You worry too much." Maia smiled at her friend before reaching over for some tissues to put under the bottles of polish.

"Oops…" Maia said quietly, as she knocked over the bottle, spilling light pink onto Allie's white quilt.

"Maia!"

***

Helen opened the door to Peter's room and peeked inside. Dirty socks and school books lay scattered on the ground. Half of Peter's belongings were thrown haphazardly into his Hogwarts trunk, but mostly the room was a big mess. Helen squeaked in horror and pushed the door all the way open. Peter was sitting on his desk reading what appeared to be a letter.

"Peter?" Helen asked curiously. "Why aren't you packed yet? It's almost 10!"

"Huh?" Peter looked up at her, smiling. "Oh, hi Helen. Is it really that late? I was just thinking about… something."

"What?" Helen asked perkily, "Possibly a girl?"

"Possibly," Peter looked at her quizzically. "Shouldn't you be asleep by now? I believe it's past your bed time."

Helen shrugged and started picking up her big brother's school books and putting them in a neat pile.

"Not tired. Plus, I'm not a baby anymore."

"Well, I guess you could sleep on the train tomorrow instead of talking to all the friends you haven't seen all summer," Peter teased. Helen thought about it and shook her head.

"Even if I wanted to sleep, I couldn't," Helen began to throw Peter's dirty clothing scattered all over the room into a laundry bag. "Too excited."

"I bet," Peter said, standing up and taking the bag from her hands and continuing to pack for himself. "Third year is a big one! You get to go to Hogsmede and everything"

"Totally!" Helen agreed abandoning her mission of packing now that that Peter was getting back to work. "I'm a teenager this year! My friend Rachel had a bat mitzvah this summer. She's Jewish and a bat mitzvah means she is an adult now! I'm only a few weeks younger. I guess that means I'm an adult now too!"

"Sure, whatever, Helen."

There was a silence except for the creaking caused by Helen as she bounced on Peter's bed.

"Do you think Mum will be okay without us? Think she might get lonely?" Helen asked, her bouncing ceasing.

"Nah," Peter reassured her. "Mum can take care of herself. She has friends."

There was more silence and Helen went back to bouncing.

"Do you think that Dad will come send us off at Kings Cross tomorrow?"

"I don't know," Peter sighed, trying to keep his annoyance from his voice. "You should go to bed."

"I really hope he comes," Helen commented completely ignoring the suggestion of sleep. "Then maybe he and Mum can hang out after we leave… what do you think, Pete?"

"I think that's unlikely," Peter responded carefully. "Dad has a lot going on now, with his new wife and all. Besides, I can't really see our parents becoming friends again anytime soon, honey."

"Why not?" Helen asked. "I didn't like Rachel for a year when we were little and she got a new best friend, but now we're friends again and it's okay now."

"I'm not sure, Helen," Peter said slowly again fighting off irritation at his sister's persistence. "That's not how it is with adults."

"Well, Rachel had her bat mitzvah, so technically she's an adult!" Helen argued. Peter tossed his laundry bag into his trunk and sat on it to make it close.

"Helen… just go to bed."

Helen stared at him for a few seconds her lips pushed out in a pout.

"Now Helen!" Peter said raising his voice a little. "I don't want to spend all morning tomorrow getting you out of bed! It's 10:30. Just go to bed!" Helen continued to pout.

"Helen! Now!"

"Fine! I'm going already!" The thirteen year old girl got off Peter's bed and walked to the door. Peter pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes as she started to leave. She turned back around and asked.

"Peter, if you stop liking me, do you promise to stay my brother anyways?"

This made Peter chuckle.

"I can't not be your brother, no matter how much I might not want to be. It's blood."

"Okay, well then I guess I'll stay your sister, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, thanks," Peter waved her away. "Now go get some sleep."

She shut the door but in a few seconds opened it again.

"Peter? I love you!"

"Love you too, hun. Good night."

" 'Night!" Helen closed the door and Peter heard her go to her room and begin getting ready for bed. He put the remainder of his belongs into his trunk and returned to the letter he'd been reading before Helen had interrupted him. He smiled as he read Heather's request to sit with him the following day on the Hogwarts Express.

***

Across England, the eight Gryffindor 6th years lay in their beds, thinking about the coming year as they drifted off to sleep. Kate and James both imagined winning the Quidditch Cup for Gryffindor for the third year in a row, though James' Quidditch thoughts were frequently interrupted by Lily's handsprings. Remus feared facing Allie the next day, though not as much as he feared having to act normally around Sirius. At the Potter Estate, meanwhile, Sirius tried, without success, to not think about his wolfish friend. Allie and Maia, who had managed to clean Allie's quilt without the help of her father, spoke in hushed whispers about NEWT classes and boys. Peter filled his mind with thoughts of Heather, as to not worry about his younger sister's childish wishes about their parents. Slowly, sleep clouded all their minds as they, one by one, fell into their dreams.


	6. A New Year

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.

A/N: SO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! Chapter 7 should but up within the week. We promise.

**Chapter 6: A New Year**

_They love to tell you  
Stay inside the lines  
But something's better  
On the other side_

-No Such thing -- James Mayer

The Hogwarts Express glistened bright red in the late morning sun on September 1st. All around Platform 9 ¾, children were wishing their parents goodbye, running to meet friends and clamoring to get the best compartments on the train. The sounds of shouted reminders, owls hooting and trolleys rolling filled the thick, end of summer air.

"It's good to be back," James said with a smile as he looked around at the familiar hectic scene. He'd had the night to come to peace with his resolve to be Lily Evans' friend and was now more than eager to return to school, "as much as I always miss the comforts of my own bedroom, there really isn't anyplace like Hogwarts." His parents, Grace and Harold Potter, smiled at their son knowingly

"I know just what you mean, son," Harold said, clapping his son on the shoulder, "Hogwarts is special, that's for sure."

"Now, if only you could manage to behave yourself this year!" Grace added, not dropping her smile. Sirius laughed; the Potters seemed to always have this exact same conversation when they dropped James and Sirius off for the train to school in September. He knew what was coming next.

"You too, Sirius," Grace chuckled, turning to her son's best friend, "I've informed the school that you'll be living with us until you graduate, so they'll know to whom any owls with dire news of your behaviour should be sent."

"Yes mum," James said, putting on his innocent face, "we'll do our best to behave ourselves." His parents and Sirius rolled their eyes; they knew better than to believe their son when he used that face.

"I'm sure you will," Harold laughed before reaching out to shake his son's hand in farewell, "now hurry up and get on the train." With one last hug to Grace Potter, the two boys hurried off to claim their usual compartment at the very end of the train. Only Peter was sitting there when they arrived.

"I was worried you guys would never come!" Peter exclaimed as Sirius and James tucked away their trunks and James' owl cage, "I wasn't sure if I could hold this compartment all by myself."

"Everybody knows this is _our_ compartment, Wormtail," James said arrogantly, sitting down, "Plus, I'm sure you would've done superbly had anyone tried to take it from you." Peter smiled sheepishly at the praise.

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked, looking around as though to find his friend hiding beneath one of the seats.

"Well, I suppose he's at the prefects meeting, isn't he?" Peter answered.

"Oh, right," Sirius said, a slight frown forming on his lips. He sat down across from James, next to Peter.

"I invited Heather to come sit with us for a bit," Peter said, glancing at James as though seeking approval, "is that okay?"

"Who is Heather?" James asked, wracking his brain to put a face to the name.

"Heather White," Peter replied, "she's a Gryffindor 5th year. You two invited her to my party."

"Ah," James replied, "the girl who took your breath away the moment you laid eyes on her?" Sirius rolled his eyes at James' clichéd, romantic phrasing, but Peter blushed and nodded, "Sure. Why wouldn't it be?"

"Maybe you wanted it to just be us marauders," Peter suggested with a shrug.

James smiled, "Well, I'm sure Allie will be joining us as soon as Remus does." Sirius narrowed his eyes at this comment, but James continued, not having noticed, "And I think Kate will stop by to talk Quidditch, which means that Maia, Lily and Caleb will probably join us as well." Peter laughed.

"Is there enough room in here for all of us?" he wondered.

"Well, we don't have much of a choice in the matter, do we?"

"Nope," Sirius grumbled, "the more the merrier."

***

Several hours later, the four marauders could be found sitting in that same compartment at the end of the train. Only now, the compartment was much more crowded, as all eight Gryffindor 6th years as well as Caleb and Heather now occupied it. Remus and Allie sat next to each other across from Peter and Heather, discussing NEWT level courses and giving Heather advice on her OWL year. On the opposite end of the compartment sat Maia, Lily and Sirius. Maia and Lily were animatedly chatting about everything from boys to classes while Sirius, only half participating in the conversation, continually stole glances at Remus and Allie. Between the two sets of students sat James, Kate and her boyfriend, Caleb, the three of them avidly discussing Quidditch and which house team, Gryffindor or Hufflepuff, would be the favourite this coming year.

"You know who is really cute?" Maia asked her friends.

"Me?" Sirius responded with a teasing smile, tearing his eyes away from the couples across the compartment.

"Well, obviously," Maia said with a laugh, "but no, really, do you know who is super cute?"

"I'm sure we could think of several people that you'd find cute," Lily answered. She, as well as all of Maia's other friends, were used to hearing her thoughts on which boys (and girls) she found most attractive. Lily smiled inwardly at her romance enthused friend and continued, "But why don't you tell us who you're talking about this time."

"Kingsly Shacklebolt!" Maia exclaimed excitedly.

"That 7th year Ravenclaw?" Lily asked.

"Yes," Maia answered, "He's all dark and intellectual. I must snare him before he graduates, especially since we totally shared a glance before getting on the train. I totally think he was checking me out!" Lily rolled her eyes. Maia was always going on about who she just _had _to have. Although she usually managed to get with most of the students she fancied, none so far had turned into much more than a fling.

"Are you sure he's your type?" Lily asked. An indignant look formed on Maia's face and Lily continued carefully, "I mean, Shacklebolt just seems the type that would want something serious."

"I can be serious!" Maia grumbled in an affronted tone. Sirius and Lily exchanged a doubtful glance, "Well I can be!"

"No you can't," Sirius laughed, "Only I can be Sir-"

"Oh my god," Lily interrupted, "shut up."

"Whatever you say," Sirius chuckled. Maia crossed her arms tightly across her chest, scowled at the pair of them and looked out window at the passing landscape. Both of her friends knew that her foul mood wouldn't last too long and that, by the time they reached Hogwarts, Maia would be her normal, friendly, romantically enthused self.

"So, Lily," Sirius continued, as Maia pouted, "do you have any new love interests for our sixth year?" Lily blushed, but didn't answer. "Ah, so I will take that as a yes."

"It is none of your business, Sirius Black," Lily snapped, her eyes suddenly flashing with anger, "It does not concern you in the slightest who I may or may not fancy."

"No need to get snippy, Lil," Sirius laughed, "though, I must say, you're complete unwillingness to share your romantic fantasies with me is most suggestive."

"Oh, sod off."

"Language, Miss Lily." Lily rolled her eyes at her friend and turned to stare pointedly out the window with Maia. Sirius's eyes drifted once more to Remus, who had not said more than five words to him since entering the compartment. He strained his ears to hear the conversation.

"Are you going to help me this year?" Heather asked, her eyebrows furrowing with worry. She looked up at Peter before continuing, "Since you've finished your OWLs and everything. I think I might need extra help."

"We can all help you," Allie smiled at the fifth year, "but don't worry. They won't be too bad."

"You only say that because you're a genius," Remus laughed.

"You're not too shabby yourself," she teased, resting her head on his shoulder. He laced his fingers in hers and kissed the top of her head.

"Could you two be any more sickeningly sweet?" Peter in high dudgeon.

"You're just jealous, Wormtail," Remus said.

"Why should I be jealous? I'm sitting beside the cutest girl at Hogwarts." Heather blushed and smiled shyly at the boy who had just taken her hand.

"And they accuse us of being sickeningly sweet?" Allie mock whispered to Remus. Remus shrugged, feeling quite guilty as his eyes drifted, not unwillingly, towards the grey eyes of his best friend. He found Sirius gazing back at him from across the compartment. His brain went numb, and although he was uncannily aware of Allie's hand in his, he could not tear his eyes from Sirius. Sounds blurred together around him; Allie and Heather's giggles at something Peter had said, Kate and James' claims of Gryffindor's superior Quidditch team, and the rustle of the train as it sped North through Great Britain, all faded to white noise.

Sirius bit his lip, not daring to break eye contact even though he knew he probably should.

"Oy, Padfoot!" James exclaimed, pulling Sirius out of his trance.

"Huh? What? Where?" Sirius spluttered, shaking his shaggy black fringe out of his face. He hated James' knack for _impeccable _timing. He stole a quick glance at Remus, only to see him once more engaged in conversation with Allie.

"Fancy a walk?" James asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"Always, Prongs ol' mate," Sirius answered, suddenly cheerful and glad for the chance to escape the compartment.

"Moony? Wormtail?" James asked the other two marauders. Remus and Peter both looked from James and Sirius to the girls they were entertaining, torn.

"Nah," Sirius answered for them, "let them stay and play with their _girlfriends_." Remus smiled sheepishly and quickly looked away from him. Peter nodded absently and quickly returned his full attention to Heather.

"Well then, shall we?" James asked, a childish grin spreading across his face. Lily narrowed her eyes at James' expression, certain that it could mean nothing good.

"Let's shall," Sirius answered cheekily, in an excellent imitation of James' proper air. He linked arms with James in an exaggerated motion and the two skipped out into the corridor.

"What do they mean, 'a walk'?" Lily demanded of Maia as soon as the boys had left.

"You know, probably going to hex Snape or some other Slytherin," Maia answered in a bored voice, still staring out the window. Lily took in a sharp breath at the mention of her former best friend. Just a few months ago she would've gone to his defense. But, what could she do now? Maybe he did deserve it. But, still, couldn't James just lay off him?

"Lils," Maia said gently, correctly interpreting her friends' silence and turning to look at her, "Lils, you're not still friends with him, are you? After what he called you? He's so not worth it."

"I know," Lily answered, her eyes down, "And no, I'm not still friends with him. It's just hard, after being friends with him for so long. If were suddenly not your friend anymore, it wouldn't mean all these years hadn't happened. I'd still care for you."

"Right," Maia said sympathetically, "Oh honey, it will be okay."

"I know it will be," Lily sighed, "I just wish James would lay off. There are so many more worthwhile things he could be doing with his energy and brains."

"So," Maia said shrewdly, "are you upset that Snape is getting hexed or that James is hexing someone?"

"What?" Lily answered, shocked, "Snape… James… Both? I don't know, Maia! It's just…"

"It's just James," Maia shrugged.

"Yeah, it's just James." Lily turned back to the window.

"And Sirius! He went too!" When Lily didn't respond, Maia patted her gingerly on the head and joined Kate and Caleb in their never ending Quidditch discussion.

***

"Snivellus," James whispered to his companion as they neared the middle of the train, "perfect."

"And his hoard of Death Eater friends. Double perfect."

"Are we sadists, Padfoot?"

"Nah, we get no sexual pleasure from this. We're agents of good. Snivelly and his friends are agents of evil. This is our right."

"Not our right, Padfoot," James said quietly, "This is our God-Given duty."

"Damn straight."

With a final glance at each other, the two boys burst into the compartment. All five Slytherins, including Severus Snape, Regulus Black (to Sirius' chagrin), Gregory Malfoy, Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange, stood abruptly, wands out. However, before any of them had the chance to mutter an incantation, James hit Malfoy with the bat-bogey hex.

"_Silencio_," Sirius muttered lazily, pointing his wand towards his cousin and her boyfriend, "I don't like listening to them talk, Prongs. Or watching them move, for that matter: _petrificus__totalus!_" James smiled in response.

"Neither do I, Padfoot." In his moment of distraction, Snape had jerked his wand towards the unprotected James, causing him be hoisted into the air by his ankle with a flash of light. James twisted awkwardly to look at Snape, "You'll pay for that, Snivellus. _Locomotor mortis. Scourgify!"_ Instantly, Snape's legs locked together and his mouth filled with soapy bubbles.

"Padfoot? A bit of help here?"

"Oh right," Sirius said, looking away from his brother, who had stood statuesque since the pair of them had entered the room. With another flash of light, James was back on the floor. He hastily stood up and wrinkled his nose at Snape, who was now hopping around spitting soap out of his mouth, in distaste.

"Why are you so pathetic, Snivelly?" James said, "I doubt you'll be able to help your friends with all that soap in your mouth." Snape responded by spitting soap on James' robes.

"You are disgusting!" James exclaimed. "Let us clean you up more in general! _Totalus Scourgify_!"

The soap did not leave Severus' mouth but more slid down his robes, drenching him in suds as he fell over.

"_He's_ disgusting? _You're_ the filthy muggle loving Gryffindor," growled Gregory Malfoy, who had managed to free himself from the bat bogey.

"Who's covered in bogey, Malfoy?" James taunted, "You're hardly one to call others filthy. _Stupefy!_" Gregory, who had not been expecting the curse, hit the floor. Now the only remaining Slytherin standing was Regulus, who had still made no move to either help or fight against his brother and James.

"Regulus," Sirius said simply, turning to look at his brother.

"Sirius," his brother answered, his cold voice full of conflicting emotions.

"How've you been? Long time, no see."

"Whose fault is that?"

Sirius shifted uncomfortably in his place before answering, "Well, I didn't mean for… I still want… You're still my brother Regulus."

"Am I? I thought you said you didn't want to be a Black anymore."

"You don't have to be a Black anymore either, Regulus!" Sirius argued, his voice full of desperation.

"But I _am, _Sirius," Regulus countered, "I _am _a Black. I'm proud of being part of the family, even if you can't be. I will always be a Black and if you don't want to be one anymore, then we are no longer brothers." Sirius just stood, staring at his brother, incapable of speech.

"You know, Regulus?" James started, after a couple moments of silence, "Go ahead. Be a Death Eater and make your pureblood fanatic mother proud. Sirius doesn't need you and your 'better than thou' attitude. He has us, his _real _family. Just remember, it was two 'filthy muggle loving Gryffindors' that managed to take down a full compartment of Slytherin Death Eater wannabes." He turned to Sirius and grabbed his shell-shocked friend's arm. "C'mon Padfoot, let's get out of here."

"You alright Padfoot?" James questioned once they'd reached the corridor outside where Regulus stood.

"I'm fine." Sirius replied shortly.

"You're not 'fine' and I know it. Don't even try to convince me otherwise. You told me when you came to my house at the start of the summer that Regulus was no longer your brother. I didn't believe you truly felt that way then and I don't now."

"It's just," Sirius said slowly, "It's just that… he's… he's my _brother_, James. He's my little brother."

"Not in any important ways. Only in blood, and we both know how little blood matters."

"Damn it, James," Sirius said, pounding his fist against the wall, "but it _does _matter! You don't have siblings. You don't understand. You _can't_ understand."

"I have you," James said quietly. Sirius looked at the boy with unruly black hair and glasses, the boy who had been his best friend for five years, the boy whom he'd heard pine endlessly about Lily and whom he'd first came out as gay to, with whom he'd spent all his holidays since the third year and finally moved in with. Sirius looked at his friend standing there, who was in the most important ways, his brother.

"Right James. You have me."

***

The Hogwarts Express slowed to a stop as it reached the Hogsmeade Station. No moon shone down, making the stars seem to shine even brighter than usual in the Northern British sky. The Gryffindor 7th years along with Caleb and Heather, pulled their trunks out of the luggage racks and hauled them off the train. Heather and Caleb left to go sit with friends from their own year and house respectively. As had been tradition since their second year, the boys took a carriage for themselves.

"I forgot to tell you two something on the train," James started, turning to Remus and Peter, as the coach began to make its way towards the school, "I have had the most inspired idea."

"Would this happen to be the idea you claimed would top any idea we've ever had before?" Remus asked.

"It would indeed," James answered, an excited smile spreading across his face, "If we can manage this feat, then we will have created something that will benefit generations of marauders to come."

"He wants to make a map," Sirius blurted.

"Padfoot!" James shouted, "You ruined my moment!"

"You were taking too long. We would've been at the castle by the time you'd gotten to the point."

"And if you two don't stop bickering like an old married couple," Peter interjected, "we'll still be at the castle before you explain why we would want to make a map."

"Not just any map, Wormtail," James said dramatically.

"A magic map," Sirius continued.

"Imagine that!" Remus laughed, "Four wizards making a _magic_ map." They all laughed, "You two are going to have to make this sound much more worthwhile. A simple map will be easy after what we did last year."

"I've got it all planned out," James began to explain, "And while it may not be as dangerous as becoming unregistered animagi, it will without a doubt be as complex and possibly even more useful."

"More useful than changing into animals to keep Moony company during the full moon?" Peter interrupted.

"Yes," James answered, "And let me finish."

"Then get on with it already," Sirius muttered under his breath.

"This map," James continued loudly, choosing to ignore his friend's remark, "will show us not only the entirety of Hogwarts, but also the location of every individual, living or ghost, animal or human, in their exact form. It will not be fooled. It will not lie."

"That's some complicated charm work," Remus said, a grin matching James' forming on his face.

"We can do it," Sirius said, "It's not like we're in the top of our class for nothing!"

"And we probably know more about the layout of the castle than any other students in centuries!" Peter added excitedly.

"Exactly," James asserted, "Who more worthy than us: the marauders, Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers,to create such a map? It will be legendary." The four boys laughed in gleeful anticipation of James' idea. Surely, with such a task for them to accomplish, their sixth year would not be wasted on NEWTs.


	7. The First Morning

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I also do not own the definition of the advantage of nonverbal incantations. Both belong to the wonderful JKR.

A/N: Professor Mansfield is a shoutout to Wisconsin, where my sister/cowriter and I are from. :D

**Chapter 7: The First Morning**

_There's no sense in telling me  
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free  
But that's the way that it goes  
And it's what nobody knows  
While every day my confusion grows_  
- Bizarre Love Triangle, Frente

"Look! First years!" Maia exclaimed as the young students filed into the great hall. "They're so little and cute!"

"We were that little as first years," Kate said with a laugh.

"I was never _that _ little," Maia countered.

"Only because you were an abnormally tall eleven year old," Allie teased.

"And you only say that because you were abnormally short!" Maia teased back, "And not much has changed on that front." The four girls laughed. True, five years ago, Allie had been one of the puniest first years. Now, standing at just above five feet, she was the shortest Gryffindor sixth year.

"I've taken the title as abnormally tall," Kate added, "I think I'm the only girl in the world as tall as me!"

"Really, Kate?" Lily asked, "You're sure no other girls in the world are 5'9"?"

"None," Kate answered curtly, "I am the tallest girl in history!"

"Like an Amazon warrior!" Maia exclaimed. The other girls just looked at her in silence, which was all very well, since Professor McGonagall had placed the sorting hat on its stool at the front of the hall. Silence ensued immediately as all eyes turned to the tattered hat, awaiting its song.

_It started many years ago  
Before this castle stood  
Four founders shared a common dream  
As four geniuses would._

_They sought to make the finest school  
The world had ever seen  
Four houses, for each founder  
Yellow, red, blue and green_

_Yellow for the badgers,  
Helga Hufflepuff's friends  
Hardworking, true and loyal  
And tolerant to the end_

_Red belonged to the lion  
Godric Gryffindor, brave and true  
Who valued chivalry and nerve  
As many others do_

_Blue for the eagles  
Which Rowena Ravenclaw chose  
Intelligence, wit and wisdom  
Are what Ravenclaws know_

_And green belonged to the serpents  
Which Salazar Slytherin claimed  
Cunning and ambition  
Were Slytherin's calls to fame_

_But the founders have all gone  
And left it up to me  
To sort you into houses  
And see what you will be_

_So put me on, don't be afraid  
I have not yet been wrong  
No matter who you are  
I'll know where you belong_

The hall erupted in applause as the first years quaked with nerves. Professor McGonagall went back up to the front of the hall and called out the first name. Several minutes later, Carrie Zandler was sorted into Slytherin and the ceremony ended.

"That took long enough!" James huffed, digging into his meat pie, "I thought some of those kids would never be sorted, they sat up there for so long!"

"But it's really exciting for them," Peter countered, helping himself to roasted potatoes, "Don't you remember the anticipation?"

"Not really," James answered, his mouth full of food, "I always knew I'd be in Gryffindor, where dwell the brave of heart!"

"You should write the songs, the way you talk, Prongs," Sirius decided aloud, "But just Sorting Hat songs. 'Where dwell the brave of heart'? Honestly."

"What can I say," James asked with a shrug, "I'm a poet!"

"Oh yes, how could we forget after that love poem you wrote Lily?" Peter smirked.

"Shut up, Wormtail!" James shouted, "That was in fourth year! Besides, I've decided I have to move on."

"I thought you were resolved to have her love you," Sirius teased, "that's what you said over the summer."

"Oh, yes, I am completely resolved to have her love me. But the way to the heart of Lily Evans is not, as I've realized, through endless pining. I have decided that, while I get to know Lily as a friend, I ought to be free to date other girls. This way, when I finally win Lily's love, then I will not make a complete fool of myself."

"You prat," Remus laughed, "You're going to use other girls as practice for Lily?"

"Well," James answered, "Only if I actually _like _them. And who knows? I may lose interest in Lily completely if the right girl comes along."

"Really?" Peter asked, a shocked expression on his face. Sirius and Remus exchanged a doubtful glance.

"Well, no. Probably not. That was mostly hypothetical. But, it all adds up to the same effect. I will win her heart."

"You keep saying it," Sirius said, turning back to his plate, "But, I have yet to see it."

The four boys ceased their conversation in order to give the upmost attention to their food. Remus' attention, however, kept drifting away from his plate, towards the figure sitting across the table from him. Almost unconsciously, Remus' foot wandered forward to nudge Sirius'. Sirius responded to the touch instantly and looked up from his plate. Remus could see confusion in Sirius' eyes, the same confusion that he was sure Sirius could see in his. He had a girlfriend, after all. A cute, funny, smart girlfriend. And he was straight. And Sirius was his best friend. And he had been drunk. Whatever had happened at Peter's party could only be due to the influence of excessive amounts of alcohol. Then, why, were these feelings persisting, despite his being completely sober?

***

The next morning, the marauders made their way down out of their dormitory for breakfast early, thanks to Remus, who was very anxious to receive his new timetable. The boys had gotten ready for the day fairly quickly, their belongings not having had much time to spread out around the room. Just as they reached the portrait hole, a voice behind them caused them to stop.

"Remus!" Allie's voice sounded from across the common room, "Wait up!" The short brunette was followed by her three roommates, none of whom looked happy to be up so early. Remus turned around to look at his girlfriend, forcing a smile onto his face, "Where'd you go after dinner last night? I didn't get to see you, and you were so quiet during dinner. Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all," Remus lied, "I was just very tired. But I'm glad to see you now." She smiled up at him and he kissed her forehead.

"What are you four doing up at this God awful hour?" Sirius asked the other girls, not bothering to suppress a yawn.

"Allie made us all get up so we could get our timetables early," Kate grumbled, screwing up her face against the bright light streaming in through the windows, "Though you're one to talk. Why are you four up?"

"Remus," James said simply, jerking his head towards his friend. Kate and Maia giggled. As talkative as James usually was, it was always amusing to see him when he had recently woken up, for it was the only time that he didn't chatter away in eloquently phrased sentences.

"God, those two are just too perfect for each other," Maia sighed, "If they grow up and get married, I pity their children." Sirius made a face at those words, but nobody noticed, and the large group continued to trudge down to the Great Hall. Allie was chattering away in an early morning rush that was starting to really get to Sirius. He'd liked the girl before she started dated his best werewolf friend.

Allie would've been a great girlfriend for anyone if only it wasn't Remus. She was very pretty and dedicated, incredibly loyal and good. She got great grades and was a loving friend. Many times she had helped Sirius out of trouble and gone out of her way to be nice to him since he was so important to Remus. Despite her efforts, however, Sirius was finding that he could barely stand her.

The six of them were nearly to the Great Hall when Sirius couldn't take it any longer.

"Remus," he whispered so that nobody else could hear. Sirius grabbed his friend's hand and pulled him to the side of the walking group. "I think we should talk." Remus' teeth clenched in panic in spite of the knowledge that none of the others could hear the whispered conversation. He pulled his hand out of Sirius' warm grip and forced his voice to be calm and confident.

"Not now, Padfoot. I want to get our timetables. Later, okay?" Remus then went to lace his fingers through Allie's smaller ones. She smiled brightly up at him and he felt the familiar fondness for her nearly overshadowed with guilt at the fact that he wished he was still holding Sirius' hand instead.

The Gryffindor sixth years reached the Great Hall and took their spots at the long table. Everyone started eating toast and eggs and bacon except Allie. She craned her neck, looking for McGonagall and waiting, nearly bouncing in anticipation, for her to come over with their time tables.

"You already know what classes you're taking, why are you so anxious?" Lily asked her friend, amused.

"But I don't know where I'm going today. Oh good! She's coming over now!"

McGonagall was indeed coming over to them with a small pile of papers. She smiled at them and said each of their names in turn as she handed out their class schedules.

"Good luck with your NEWT level classes!" Minerva McGonagall said briskly before turning to the younger students. The sixth years all thanked the professor quickly before turning to peruse their sheets of paper.

"Wow! I only have the first two hours today! Just DADA, and that's my favorite class. Mondays are gonna be so groovy!" Maia exclaimed.

"I don't have afternoon classes while some of you guys have Potions. We'll have so much fun, Maia!" Kate grinned, high fiving Maia.

"I'm not taking Arithmancy or Muggle Studies, so we'll hang out before lunch, kay?" Sirius said, his grin mildly forced.

"Happy dance!" Maia announced as she proceeded to do a little jig in her seat.

"Not to bubble-burst, you guys, but you'll have to use those hours to study," Lily reminded them.

"Bubble officially bursted! God, you studious types!" Kate groaned. Maia promptly stopped dancing and folded her arms in a pout. Lily shrugged guiltily.

"Mr. Potter?" McGonagall appeared behind them once more. James looked up at her praying that he hadn't already gotten a detention for who knows what.

"Yes, Professor?"

"He didn't do it!" Peter squeaked. This was Peter's natural reaction whenever approached by the Gryffindor head of house. McGonagall looked down at him suspiciously but decided to ignore the comment.

"Dumbledore and I have been talking. The 7th year Gryffindor we originally gave the Quidditch Captainship to politely declined the position and suggested that you have the title. Dumbledore and I decided that you were indeed the next best for the job. We sincerely hope that you step up to the responsibility and give us a great team. I don't fancy losing the cup this year. If I am not satisfied with your work we might give this honor to somebody else. Do you understand?"

"Yes, certainly. I'll do my very best to uphold the honor and pride of our fine Quidditch team. You can count on me, Professor," James promised, practically glowing with confidence and excitement.

"I do hope so, Potter, I do hope so." With that McGonagall gave him the pin the proclaimed him captain and walked off.

"Congrats, Prongs!" Sirius and Peter chimed together.

"Thanks," James smiled, pinning the badge to his robes.

"That's great, Potter. I hope you know what a responsibility you've been given," Lily said doubtful that James could be focused enough for the job.

"Yes, I understand. Thank you, Lily," James said, slightly annoyed with her expression, but forcing himself to remain polite.

Soon after finishing breakfast, they all headed off for the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, wondering who the new teacher would be. Sitting down in class they saw a tall, thin man wearing dark brown robes and a short triangular tweed hat.

"Good morning class! I'm Professor Mansfield, donchya know?" the professor said in a strange accent none of the students had ever heard before, "I will be your Defense professor for the year, 'n so?"

"Where are you from, sir?" Sirius blurted out, unable to help himself. The class laughed.

"Ah, I'm from da north of 'Scansin, in the United States, hey? I'm taking some time off to travel 'round Europe and study da European teaching methods, donchya know?"

"No, I didn't know. What's 'Scansin'?" Sirius said under his breath to James, who laughed and shrugged feebly.

"Well, as I were saying here, I'm gonna teach yer proper Defense to help yer prepare for yer NEWT examinations. In dis class we'll be studying counter curses, shield charms and minor hexes and jinxes, all bound to come up in yer examinations. And, donchya know, we'll be working on yer nonverbals too, for dat der is necessary for receiving good marks on those examinations. Now, who der can tell me what da advantages to nonverbals is? Ah, you der, Mr…?"

"Lupin," Remus offered his name to the professor, "Remus Lupin."

"Well, Mr. Lupin, advantages of dem nonverbals please?"

"Your adversary has no warning about what kind of magic you are about to perform, which gives you a split second advantage," Remus answered, reciting the definition from the textbook.

"Good, good, ten points to Gryffindor, der," Professor Mansfield praised Remus. "Hows about another question? Hows about, what is an example of a spell that only works in da nonverbal? Ah, Miss…?"

"Maia Regarne. An example is '_levicorpus_," Maia answered with a smile, remembering how often that jinx had been used the previous year.

"Levicorpus?" Professor Mansfield asked, a slightly confused expression on his face, "I've not heard of dat one, donchya know. What does it do?" Maia smiled again, but did not answer. Instead, she jerked her wand slightly in the professor's direction and he was hoisted into the air by his ankle. The entire class, including the professor, erupted into laughter. The entire class, that is, except for Severus Snape who looked at Maia through narrowed eyes.

"Oofta! Levicorpus, eh?" the professor chuckled as he hung, upside down, in the air, "Very good. Now, ten points more to, Gryffindor is it, if you let me down, donchya know?!" Maia smiled again, thought _liberacorpus_ and flicked her wand once again in the professor's direction, who then fell to the ground.

"Now," Professor Mansfield said as he stood up and smoothed out his robes, "Today I think we will practice familiar spells in da nonverbal. I'm thinking, disarming mostly, just so yous can practice. Please find a partner and begin!"

Maia looked up at her best friend Allie to be her partner, but the short girl was already smiling up at her boyfriend and Maia figured they wouldn't be partners today. She shrugged and turned to see Lily and Kate already looking constipated and pointing their wands at each other. Apparently they wouldn't be partnering with her either.

"Sirius?" Maia asked turning around. Sirius was fun and the next best at Defense after herself and Remus. "Wanna partner?"

"Sorry, babe, I'm with Prongs. Wormtail here still needs a partner, though." Maia suppressed a groan. As much as she thought Peter was fun and all, he was probably the weakest in Defense. Maia wasn't particularly patient but she smiled at Peter anyways.

"Hey there, Peter. Why don't you try to disarm me first?" She asked as Peter walked over to her. Peter nodded and started to stare at her intensely.

"So, you and that 5th year? She's cute," Maia started, already bored as she waited for Peter to disarm her.

Peter grunted and screwed up his face apparently trying to disarm his adversary. Maia held in a sigh. Peter on the other hand let a big puff of air out.

"I can't do it, right now. You want to try?" He suggested. Maia grinned and nodded. _Expelliarmus, _she thought. Nothing happened. She bit her lip and imagined Peter's wand flying out of his slack grip. She focused completely on the task and visualized it clearly before thinking _Expelliarmus_ again. This time Peter's wand jerked out of his hand and flew into Maia's outstretched one. In that same second, Remus managed to disarm Allie. About five seconds after that James wand twisted out of his tight grip and Sirius caught it before it could hit Kate in the back of her head. Determined not to be outdone his best friends, James doubled his efforts and managed to disarm Sirius wordlessly. By the end of class, the only other students who had managed to complete the jinx nonverbally were four of the Ravenclaws and Severus Snape. Neither Caleb Hannings or his best friend Joe Johnson, the only two Hufflepuffs in NEWT level Defense, had managed it.

"Well, donchya know, some of you managed dis!" Professor Mansfield said cheerfully, "Five points to each of you who managed it. So dat would be twenty to Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and five points to Slytherin, eh? For Thursday I would like you all to read da chapter on nonverbal spell casting and turn in a summary." With that, Professor Mansfield waved and stepped through the door to his office.

Everybody began packing their belongings into their book bags and looking at their timetables to double check which classes they had next. Caleb, Peter and Kate, all looking slightly disgruntled at not having achieved the task set to them in class, headed to the Muggle Studies classroom. Sirius, James and Maia, all who had a free period before lunch, turned to head towards the Gryffindor tower.

"Are you three going to start the assignment?" Remus asked as they headed out of the classroom.

"Nah," James replied in an offhand tone, "It's not due until Thursday. We'll have plenty of time. There's no need to waste a perfectly fine morning with homework."

"You may not have 'plenty of time,'" Lily countered, "We're going to have lots of homework and revising to do this year."

"We'll be fine, don't worry about it Lils," Maia said with a smirk, "Now hurry or you'll be late for whatever smart people class you have now."

"Yeah, run along now," Sirius laughed, "We wouldn't want our prefects and healer-to-be late for class the very first week! The world may end!"

"Very funny," Remus said in a disapproving tone, though he longed to laugh. Trying to push Sirius out of his mind, he grabbed Allie's hand, "c'mon you guys. Sarcastic as Black is being, he's right. We don't want to be late." Sirius, James and Maia turned left at the end of the hall, leaving their three friends to head towards the Ancient Runes classroom.

"I'm rubbish at nonverbals," Allie sighed as the three of them walked quickly down the corridors.

"That's not true," Lily argued, "I couldn't do it either and neither could most of the class."

"It's only the first day, Allie," Remus agreed, "I'm sure you'll get them in no time and, as soon as you do it once, you'll be able to do it flawlessly from then on."

"I hope so," Allie said slowly, "I just don't want to be behind. These tests are so important!"

"Yeah," Lily agreed, "But do have two years to master nonverbals. And, like Remus says, as soon as you get it you'll be amazing at them. You're the smartest of all the Gryffindor 6th years! Do I have to remind you how many Outstanding OWLs you got?"

"Please, no," Allie blushed as they entered the classroom, "I wasn't fishing for compliments. You guys know that."

"But you caught one anyways," Lily said with a smile, "And it's true. Don't get discouraged." Allie smiled her thanks as the three of them sat down in the middle of the class. This class was much smaller than their Defense Against the Dark Arts class; aside from the three Gryffindors, only two Hufflepuffs, one Slytherin and four Ravenclaws had progressed to NEWT level.

"As I'm sure you all know," Professor McStroi, a short witch with long black hair, started once the class had settled into their seats, "This year and next year are immensely important to your futures. The coursework will, undoubtedly, be harder than you've ever experienced and I expect you all to keep up. Now that you have all proven to have sufficient knowledge in the translation of Ancient Runes, we will progress to reading ancient works of wizarding literature in their original form. We will also be practicing writing in Ancient Runes. By the time you take your NEWTs you will be expected to both be able to read complicated stories fluently as well as write as though you never learned another alphabet or language.

"Now, as sure as I am that all of you spent your summers reviewing vocabulary and form recognition, I would like to have you review in class today. Please, select a partner. One of you will come up to the front and get a stack of cards. Quiz each other. Each correct answer will be worth one point and each incorrect answer minus two points. I expect each of you to have 50 points by the end of this class if you wish to pass today's lesson. The person with the most points will receive 10 points for his or her house. Let's get started."

"Allie? Will you be my partner?" Lily asked hopefully. The Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs had already paired off and she desperately did not want to be partners with Avery.

"Well…" Allie looked over at Remus who smiled and shrugged. "Okay! I'd love to be your partner. I think Remus would be better at dealing with Avery anyways. Plus, I can see Remus whenever. Best friends over boyfriends, right?"

"You sound like James when you use trite phrases like that Allie," Lily said, her expression somewhere between amusement and a scowl. Allie laughed inwardly at her friend's reference to James. She thought there was something more than annoyance recently when Lily looked at or spoke of James, but she couldn't figure out quite what it was. And, at any rate, it was too soon to say anything. Lily remained adamant as ever that she disliked James Potter.

"Heaven forbid!" Allie teased, "Then you wouldn't have anything to do with me."

"Oh shush," Lily scolded, "Let's get to work. I hope you reviewed over summer, or we'll be in trouble!" Allie smiled brightly at her friend and went up to the front of the class to retrieve the vocabulary and form cards. As she walked past Remus, who was trying desperately to ignore Avery's taunts of being a 'mudblood lover,' and smiled at him shyly. He smiled back, but Allie thought she saw something out of place in his smile. But, as with her best friend, she couldn't figure out quite what it was.

A/N: Review please? Sirius wants you to!


	8. Blurring Lines

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or his world

A/N: SORRY FOR THE LONG WAIT OH MY! We've been very busy with work and class and stuff, but we'll try our best to have the next chapter up in less than two weeks. That's a realistic goal, I think. Hopefully it will be sooner though. This is slightly longer than usual, so hopefully that will make up for the wait? Yeah, I thought not. But one can always hope. Also, it may be a bit rough but I decided to post it as is just because it's been so long. As always, this can also be found under the penname Flameintheflood. Thanks! Enjoy!

**Chapter 8: Blurring Lines**

_You believe, and you doubt  
You're confused, and got it all figured out  
Everything that you always wished for  
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours  
If they only knew_

_-One Step at a Time, Jordin Sparks_

September passed quickly. What with NEWT level classes taking up as much time as though there were daily exams, Lily's and Remus' extended prefect duties, Peter's blossoming relationship with Heather White and James slave driving the Gryffindor Quidditch team, the marauders had had very little time to put James' map idea into action. As all the professors had promised at the start of the year, lessons and homework were exceptionally hard. Even James, Sirius and Maia could be found doing additional work, much to the surprise of their friends.

Nonverbal incantations were expected in all classes that required wand work, much to Kate and Peter's dismay. True to Lily and Remus' assurances, after a week of copious practice and study, Allie had achieved nonverbal spells and was now the first of the Gryffindors to achieve new spells in the nonverbal, though Lily, Sirius and James always achieved them soon after. Maia and Remus continued to outperform the others in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Lily continued to lead the class in potions, her greatest competition being Snape, closely followed by Allie. While she still received pangs of despair when she saw her childhood best friend, with the help of Allie, Maia and Kate she was moving on. Transfiguration probably had the sharpest increase in difficulty. Even James and Allie, who were Professor McGonagall's star pupils in that subject, found themselves needing the teacher to repeat instructions and further explain concepts. While Charms lessons were not as difficult as Transfiguration or Potions, Professor Flitwick pushed his students harder than any of them could remember and even Lily, who loved the class almost as much as she loved potions, often found herself frustrated. Their other professors continued to pile on homework as though they thought their students took only their subjects.

Much to Lily's surprise, James had taken his position of Quidditch captain very seriously. By the end of the first week of term he'd put together what promised to be a winning team. Only two positions had needed refilling: beater and chaser. Heather's friend, Kristi Alith, took the chaser position and a short but strong 3rd year, Kevin Miller, had become the new beater. James had kept last year's chaser, Jade Verden, an extremely talented fourth year; beater, Jason Ericson, a fifth year; and seeker, Angela Miller, 7th year, and Kevin's older sister. He worked his team very hard and even Kate, who played Keeper and was almost obsessed with the sport as James, complained at the amount of time he demanded of his team.

"Okay, guys," James said after a particularly brutal practice the first Saturday in October, "we're doing really well. I know that we can win this cup this year, but we have to keep working. Our first match is in two weeks, against Ravenclaw. Josh Mason is a phenomenal seeker and has built a superb team. But we have stronger chasers," he smiled at Kristi and Jade, "brilliant beaters," he nodded at Kevin and Jason, "an incredible keeper," he winked at Kate, "and a stellar seeker," he indicated Angela, "so I have no doubt that we can win, not only this match, but the cup. I just need you all to continue to put forth the amount of effort you have been so far. Now, go eat dinner!"

"You know," Kristi said as she walked with James back up the castle, "if that was your speech for two weeks before the first match, then I must admit I'm scared for the pep talk before the cup determining one."

"What can I say?" James joked, "I love giving speeches. There will always be more where that came from. I'm a master speech giver. As any of my friends."

"I don't think I'll need to take anyone's word for that," Kristi pointed out, "I am going to be on the Quidditch team with you for the next two years."

"If I decide you're good enough to keep on," James answered casually with a shrug. Kristi stopped walking, a shocked expression on her face. She was about to point out that she'd outperformed all the other chasers at tryouts, when she saw him trying not to laugh.

"Potter," she said, resuming walking, "I'm so good, you'll never want to give me up."

"Yeah," James answered, coming to a stop as they reached the castle doors. He looked curiously at his chaser, as though trying to decide something, "Probably not. You're a good chaser."

"I'm good at other things too," she said in a would-be casual voice.

"Such as?"

"That's for me to know," Kristi smirked. James sighed. He liked Kristi well enough; she was cute and an excellent chaser, but he wasn't sure what to make of her. She tilted her head to the side and continued, "You know, Hogsmeade is next weekend."

"Damn it!" James muttered, more to himself than to Kristi, "I was planning on having an extra long training session. It's our last Saturday before the match."

"Don't tell me you're thinking about scheduling a mandatory practice on our first Hogsmeade weekend!"

"Well… We need to beat Ravenclaw."

"James," Kristi put her hand on his shoulder, "Take a day off. Clear your brain. Go to Hogsmeade."

"I don't want to lead our team to failure!" A worried expression covered his face. Kristi couldn't help but realize how attractive he was.

"You won't; you're an amazing captain," Kristi assured him. She paused before continuing, "Tell you what. How about you come with me to Hogsmeade? We can go over plays and strategies as much as you like so you won't feel like the day is wasted."

"That would be great," James said enthusiastically.

"Great!" Kristi echoed, "Well, we should probably get back to common room. I'm disgusting from practice!"

"Oh, you're fine," James smiled, "But you're right, people might start to wonder what happened to us."

***

"Wait a second," Sirius said that night, once James was showered and the four boys were sitting in their dormitory, "Let me just get this straight. You're going to Hogsmeade. With a girl."

"As always, you manage to phrase things so eloquently," James smirked, "I am going to Hogsmeade with Kristi. She's going to help me with Quidditch plays for the upcoming match!"

"You prat," Peter remarked in utter disbelief, "She didn't ask you to Hogsmeade to talk about Quidditch. She invited you to Hogsmeade as a date." James' eyes widened in shock.

"What? A date? How do you know?"

"Heather," Peter said simply. When James continued to stare unblinkingly, he continued, "Kristi is Heather's best friend. Heather's mentioned that Kristi likes you."

"But… I… Lil-" James started, struggling to put his spinning thoughts into words.

"Don't, mate," Sirius interjected, "Remember what you said at the beginning of term feast?" James shook his head mutely.

"Oh, come off it, Prongs," Remus added, "You announced for the whole table to hear that you were going to move on from Lily, to test the waters by dating other girls and get to know Lily as a friend."

"But Lily still hates me," James argued.

"But you can still date other girls, test the waters, see what happens," Remus argued back.

"But I love Lily! It's not fair to date other girls when I'm in love with Lily. It's just not right."

"None of them expect to marry you, Prongs," Remus consoled.

"Yeah, Moony's right," Sirius agreed with a laugh, "You might end up realizing you like Kristi more than you thought. And, even if not, she might be a good snog." For this, James threw a pillow at his best friends' head.

"Well," James sighed, "I already told her I'd go. I suppose I don't have much of a choice in the matter at this point. I'll do my best to have a good time."

"Good call," Peter said, "Who are you going with then, Padfoot?" Now it was Sirius' turn to look confused.

"Yeah," James mused, "Wormtail is right; he has a date, I have a date, Moony has a date."

"Oh," Sirius said, sitting up straighter. His eyes darted towards Remus, who looked away quickly. "I guess… I don't know." He scowled and laid back on his pillows.

"Why don't you see who else is dateless," James' suggested, "Things will work out. If worse comes to worse, you could always go stag. Though, that really is more my department."

"Right," Sirius replied, ignoring James' jest, "I'm tired. Goodnight." He pulled the curtains closed around his bed. James turned to the other boys and shrugged. He didn't know why Sirius' was so upset about not having a date. True he'd never been the only one without a date before, but it still hadn't ever bothered him this much. James settled down with a chapter he was supposed to read for Transfiguration (something he detesting having to do on a Saturday) and resolved to talk to Sirius in the morning if he continued to brood.

Remus sat on his bed and opened _Practical Uses of Advanced Defensive Spells. _He'd planned to read ahead and revise some before bed (something he didn't mind having to do on a Saturday), but now his mind was stuck, as it had often been of late, on Sirius. He knew Sirius liked him. That much was quite obvious. He knew he was attracted to Sirius. That part was more confusing. He thought of Allie. He truly cared about her. He even loved her, but what he'd come to realize was that he loved her as a friend. Kissing her wasn't bad, she was quite good in fact, but there wasn't the same spark that he felt when he'd kissed Sirius. And his lips, his body, his whole being longed for that connection. But the fact remained that Sirius was his best friend. The line had blurred at the party, but he knew he couldn't let it blur again. For Allie, for James and Peter, even for himself and Sirius, he had to make sure that line stayed as solid as ever.

***

The following Saturday dawned bright and crisp, a perfect day to spend exploring the wizarding village down the road from the school. However, in the 6th year girls dormitory of Gryffindor tower, the day was beginning rather poorly.

Lily awoke to the sound of loud hacking coughs. She slowly sat up and opened the red curtains around her four poster bed to see her friend Allie look up at her with puffy red eyes. The small girl was sitting cross legged on her mattress, tissues piled all around her, looking completely miserable.

"Morning, Lils," Allie choked out in between blowing her nose and coughing some more. "Sorry, did I wake you?"

"Gosh, Allie! What time is it?" Lily asked, noticing that the sun was barely starting to rise and that Maia and Kate were still in bed. "You look awful!"

"Oh, gee thanks, Lils," Allie wheezed. "Nice to know how ugly I am first thing in the morning. It's 5:30, by the way."

Lily suppressed a groan and walked over to plop onto Allie's bed. "You know that's not what I meant. You're lovely as daisies. I meant you look like you _feel_ awful. How long have you been awake?"

"About long enough for these—" she motioned to the tissues around her "—to accumulate. I have no idea. My head hurts."

"I bet it does. Want me to help you to the hospital wing for a pepper up potion?"

"Long walk. I'll just sit here, thanks. You can go back to sleep. Sorry."

Lily shook her head and stood up. "That's silly. Lie down and rest. I can go get you some potion. I'm sure Promphrey won't mind the wake-up call."

"Nah, don't worry about it, Lils," Allie insisted. "I'll go get some later."

Giving up, Lily Evans summoned a glass of orange juice for her sickly friend. The two girls sat on Allie's bed for a while; Lily reading and Allie staring at the ceiling. Occasionally Lily would suggest that they go to the Hospital wing and Allie would shrug it off and tell Lily that she could go to sleep. Problem was, Lily wasn't the kind of person who could wake up and then go back to sleep especially if she knew that one of her friends was awake just a few feet away from her.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief when Kate's alarm clock blared from her bedside table around 8 am. A tan hand reached around from inside Kate's curtains and hit the alarm clock heavily, stopping the noise. Kate blinked and drew back the curtains to reveal the slowly to the rising light of morning.

"Morning sleepy head," Lily said, smiling. Kate nodded and looked at her red-haired friend.

"Why are you awake so early? And in Allie's bed?" Kate asked groggily.

"She woke me up, coughing and you know how I fail at getting back to sleep."

Kate grunted and stood up and started getting dressed. "So, is she sick? What about Hogsmeade?"

"Oh," Lily said with a frown. "I guess she won't be going. To be honest I totally forgot. Shame I won't be able to go. I really needed some new parchment, quills and ink!"

"Oh no!" Allie cried, starting to get up, "I needed parchment and ink too! I have that essay-" she broke off coughing.

"No," Lily commanded, pushing her back down, "you're too sick. I'm staying with you. I'm sure we can just write off for some parchment and such."

"Yeah, I'd stay with her, but I'm planning on meeting Caleb," Kate opened the curtains to Maia's bed and shook her awake. "Maia! Time to see the sun!"

"No… bright light—hurt eyes! Turn it off!" Maia groaned turning over to bury her face in her pillows.

"That's the sun, Maia."

"Well, turn it off! I'm asleep!" She whined, squinting one eye open to look at the tall bringer of morning, aka, Kate. Rolling her eyes, Lily stood up and put on a dark blue sweater with some jeans.

"Hogsmeade today, Maia!" She said brushing her dark red hair. "Allie is sick so I'm staying here with her. Do you think you pick up some parchment for us, since we'll have to miss the outing?"

Maia slowly sat up and rubbed her eyes to look at her friends.

"Nah, you go Lily. I don't know who I'd go with anyways since Kate is all taken by Caleb. 'Sides, Allie likes me more and wants you to go get parchment."

Lily laughed at Maia's early morning sarcasm and knew that the short-haired girl was kindly offering to take care of Allie. Besides, Lily's parchment was really almost gone and she was so awake that staying in the castle all day sounded rather like torture.

"Thanks, Maia, you rock," She smiled graciously and threw on a robe.

"Now, let me sleep, you poop heads!" Maia groaned lying back down. Kate and Lily said their goodbyes and left the dorm to eat breakfast and then split off for Hogsmeade.

***

The warm autumn sun shown down on the worn cobblestone streets. Since Allie had stayed at the castle and James and Peter were spending the day with their dates, Remus and Sirius wandered the bustling streets together. The two boys had not been alone together since the night of Peter's party and their usually carefree conversation hung heavy with unsaid thoughts and feelings.

"So, Prongs and Kristi," Sirius started in an attempt to make small talk as they walked along a less busy street away from Zonko's Joke Shop, where they'd just bought backup prank supplies, "Honestly, I can't really see them working out."

"I guess, if they're happy…" Remus responded with a shrug.

"But can Prongs really be happy without his pretty little Lily flower?" Sirius continued skeptically. "Can a relationship really be any good if somebody really wants somebody else?"

"As long as the person gets over it and just sticks with what's right I think it can be fine," Remus argued.

"Fine, sure, it could be fine. But good? I'm not so sure how good it could be."

"Why does it matter? Prongs has little sense and is undeniably oblivious, but there's nothing much we can do," Remus responded to a persistent looking Sirius. "He already agreed to come to Hogsmeade with her."

"But… nothing is final, right?"

"I dunno, Padfoot," Remus said avoiding looking his friend in the eyes.

"Can we have that talk now?" Sirius stopped walking and leaned against a brick wall. The two were alone and Remus shifted uncomfortably wishing that they had decided to go somewhere more public. He wasn't quite sure he trusted himself alone with Sirius. It made his stomach swish around unfamiliarly and he had to force himself not to let his hands reach out for the carelessly beautiful boy there with him.

"I don't get what we have to talk about… I mean, sure. We kissed. We were drunk. It was a mistake, Padfoot. I'm sorry, but you know I'm not like that."

"I don't know you 'aren't like that'. You seem quite 'like that' a lot!" Sirius said, glad that they were finally talking about it. "And we both know that I'm 'like that' and—"

"I like Allie! She's a wonderful girl! And note how I said _girl_!"

"I'm not denying that she's a girl! Or that she's wonderful… I'm just trying to tell you…"

The silence stretched and Remus found his resolve melt a bit at Sirius' hurt and confused face. Sirius shook his head and looked at his feet. Almost unconsciously Remus found his hand reaching out to lift Sirius' chin and cradle it in his fingers.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"That… That I'm… and… I… you…" Sirius' breathe felt as though it was locked in his chest and he was buried under water, unable to breathe or think straight. Remus' caramel eyes flicked across every surface of Sirius' pale face and stopped breathing as somehow their lips met once again.

Like a breath of sweet air Sirius gasped. His opened mouth gave Remus room to explore it. The werewolf pushed his friend against the wall as the kiss became more frantic, less gentle. Sirius decided that he didn't care that Remus was taken that he didn't care that he might end up losing their friendship. All Sirius cared about was that the boy who had been haunting his mind, who had been the unattainable want for ages, was kissing him with desire that matched Sirius' own.

Remus simply wasn't thinking; just feeling. It felt so right having Sirius' tall, muscular body pressed against his own. It was the kind of warm feeling chocolate gave him after full moons. It was the kind of familiar he felt when he slept under his own blankets after a year at Hogwarts. It was a kind of spark that hadn't touched him since the early days of dating Allie.

But then again, Remus wasn't thinking about chocolate or blankets and certainly not his sweet, adoring girlfriend; all consuming was Sirius' presence.

***

Lily kicked pebbles under her feet and staring down she walked down the main street to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop. A large group of Slytherin 5th years jostled her as they passed, laughing inoffensively. They weren't cruel, but the group had made Lily feel so alone and even though she knew they didn't care, she had to fight the urge to call after them 'I _do_ have friends! I swear!'

Lily refrained however, knowing that such words would make her just seem more pathetic. With great effort she held back her temper and instead forced herself to look confidently into the shop windows as she walked. Her nose wrinkled in displeasure as she passed Madam Puddifoot's. She had always thought the place was vulgar and frilly; a place where no man in his right mind would go without a woman dragging him there.

That was one reason why Lily nearly fell over her own feet as she looked through the window to see James Potter there. Surely he had some more pride than _that_. Besides, Lily thought, he isn't seeing anyone right now, right? She had to answer that one and with a very unLily-like move she went to hide behind the edge of the window to watch Potter and who she recognized as Kristi Alith.

***

"Isn't this place cute, James?" Kristi asked, awkwardly trying to make conversation. James nodded and sipped his tea.

"I think it's really cute. I mean, the atmosphere isn't quite the same as the Three Broomsticks, but sometimes I prefer this one. Which do you prefer?"

"Um… I don't know," James lied taking another swig of black tea. He much preferred the popular pub but he didn't want to offend his date, especially since she was an incredible chaser, "They're both nice."

"Aw! You are the sweetest!" Kristi ran her hand through her curly blonde locks and smiled really big at James who gave her a lopsided smile back. He cleared his throat.

"So, what do you think of that new move we were working on last week? The Oozling Shot?" James asked.

"Oh, yeah. It's neat," Kristi smiled as though indulging him and took his hand in hers.

"But, what do you think about it? Think it'll trick the Ravenclaws in this upcoming match?"

"Yeah. If we can pull it off. It's hard, but you're a great flyer James. And a fantastic captain. We're the best the school has."

"You think so? I do believe I've put together a workable team this year, but you know, there is a lot of pressure… Lily Evans didn't think I would do a good job as Captain. She doesn't think I'm serious enough."

An annoyed expression went across Kristi's face but she turned it into a laughing, flirty smile and said, "Evans doesn't get Quidditch, not like we do. I think she just doesn't understand you at all. I mean, how many times did you ask her out last year? Stupid girl is so missing out. But, I win!"

James made a pained expression and reminded himself that he was on a date with Kristi and it would probably not do well to explain how amazing Lily was to her. Besides, quite frankly, he was tired of his obsession with Lily. And, while he wasn't giving up on her (that would never happen), he felt as though he really ought to give other girls a chance.

James continued, "Yeah, I must have asked her out a hundred different ways in just last year alone! I don't know what I was thinking…"

"You weren't. She was just a childhood crush. Don't worry. We've all had stupid crushes, like me. I used to like Sirius before he turned out to be gay. Shame. That boy was _fine._" Kristi rolled her eyes playfully and kicked James gently under the table.

"Uh… he's my friend, Kristi. You know that. It's kind of rude to…" James found himself irritated with himself for not saying more but he also didn't want to hurt Kristi's feelings. She was a really nice girl and she liked him. And, he reminded himself, she was cute.

"What? No! I think he's really cool! Didn't I just say I used to have a crush on him? Don't worry, James, I would never insult somebody because of that!" She said with that same flirtatious smile.

James nodded and took her at her word. He let his bored eyes wander away from the rest of their conversation and look out the window. Just as he looked he saw an irritated Lily Evans walk past and felt his stomach do a swoop. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, willing himself not to imagine what it would be like if it were Lily sitting across from him at this table, talking to him about Quidditch and friends.

"James?" Kristi said, waving her hand in front of James face, "are you listening to me?"

"Sorry, what? I must have spaced out for a moment." He tore his eyes from the place Lily had just disappeared and turned his attention towards Kristi.

"I was just asking," Kristi said with a smile, "what other plays you've come up with for our team?" James smiled back at her. Quidditch would definitely get his mind off of Lily and it was nice to have somebody to bounce ideas off of. He looked at the blonde sitting across the table. He knew he could learn to really like Kristi, if he just gave her the chance. He wanted to make this work.

***

Remus leaned next to Sirius breathing deep and heavy, taking in the scents of autumn leaves, and the sweet, musky man beside him. They held each other in their arms and stood in silence. Then, like a flood, the world returned and thoughts gushed over them. Remus stopped breathing for another few seconds.

"Padfoot… I… Shit!" Remus said. "I can't do this! I—"

"No."

"What?" Remus was shook out of his panic with Sirius' low, absolute refusal. "No, what?"

"No, I'm not letting you go back to Allie again and pretend this didn't happen," Sirius said calmly, taking Remus' suddenly cold hand in his own warm ones. "I want you and you want me more than you ever wanted her. I'm not being cocky! I know how I feel and I know how much you feel this too! It's not just me!"

Remus watched as Sirius went from calm and self-assured to panicky and desperate. He knew in his heart that Sirius was right but, unable to say anything he just nodded and leaned in for an embrace. After a few moments of silence Remus voiced his decision.

"I really need to talk to Allie."

A/N: What do you think is going to happen? What do you think about James/Kristi? Let us know by pressing the "review" link!


	9. Turning Point

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Or his world. Or magic. And I'm not about to steal magic from wizards because you can't steal magic, TAKE THAT MINISTRY!

A/N: Look! An update in less than the two weeks we promised in the last chapter! Thanks for all the reviews. They mean a lot to us! Enjoy reading!

**Chapter 9: Turning Point**

_And it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you  
Somebody else gets what you wanted again and  
You know it's all the same, another time and place_

-Taylor Swift; Change

_Scratch, scratch, sniffle, cough, rustle. Scratch, scratch, sniffle, cough, rustle. Scratch, scratch, sniffle, cough, rustle. _

"_What_ _on earth_ are you _doing?_" Maia exclaimed as the sound of rustling parchment woke her up three hours after Kate and Lily had left the girls' dormitory.

"Homework," Allie croaked, "Since I couldn't go into Hogsmeade, I thought I may as well be productive." Maia sat up and looked at her friend unbelievingly. Even after six years of knowing Allie, Maia still couldn't understand her sometimes.

"Als, you sound like death!" Maia exclaimed. She rubbed her eyes and squinted at her friend, "and you look like death too! Why on earth are you doing school work instead of resting?"

"Between you and Lily, I'm going to become insecure about my appearance," she giggled, but her laughs quickly turned to coughs. Maia shook her head. When Allie's coughs had subsided, she continued, "I know I should rest. I really do feel awful. I just have so much work to do! I really don't have time…"

"If you don't rest now, you'll just end up getting sicker and having to miss class," Maia reasoned.

"I know," Allie answered, "I just can't help myself. Maybe I'll just do some reading. Is that relaxing enough?"

"Not really," Maia smirked, "Because I know the type of reading you do, and it's definitely not so much relaxing as confusion."

"I just do the assigned readings for class!" Allie argued.

"As I said, too confusing and too much work to be relaxing. But I guess I'll have to settle."

"Okay," Allie smiled, "I just have to run to the library to get a copy of the text I have to read to do my potions essay." She started to get up, but Maia pushed her back down.

"No," she glared at her friend, "I'll get it for you. Give me the title you need. You stay here and take a nap. And I'm getting a potion for you from Madam Pomfrey." Maia gathered up Allie's books and parchment with great difficulty, as the short girl was fighting back. "I expect you to be asleep when I get back, not working on some assignment, or I'll hex you and force sleeping potion down your protesting throat."

Allie rolled her eyes, but sighed in resignation. As Maia changed into a school sweater and jeans, Allie wrote the name of the book she needed on a scrap of parchment, got into her four poster bed and pulled the blankets over herself. Maia smiled in satisfaction and she quietly opened the door and left the room.

***

"_Applications of Potions Making in Healer Careers_," Maia muttered to herself under her breath as she searched for the book amongst the tall library shelves, "Honestly, I think Allie is insane. She's practically dying and she's reading a book that could not sound more dull!"After what seemed like ages, Maia found a copy of the thick book. She sighed with relief and hurried to Madam Pince's desk to check out the book. The librarian gave Maia a peculiar look, which the young girl ignored, before handing her the text. She muttered a quick thanks and practically ran out the library, more than eager to escape the stuffy atmosphere and Madam Pince's sharp gaze. As she approached the doors leading out of the room, Maia ran into something solid that was most definitely not a door.

"Sorry!" Maia exclaimed as she knelt down to pick up the books the person had been carrying, "I'm really sorry! I wasn't looking where I was going." The young, spunky witch stood, books in hand and looked into the dark eyes of Kingsley Shacklebolt. She felt her knees tremble slightly at the sight of the boy she'd had her eyes on since the start of term.

"Don't worry about it," Kingsley said with a smile, "I wasn't looking where I was going either. I'm sorry, but what's your name?"

"I'm Maia. Maia Regarne," Maia said confidently, "And I believe you're Kingsley Shacklebolt."

"Yeah, that's me," He helped sort out his books from hers and looked at the thick book that Maia had been holding. "_Applications of Potions Making in Healer Careers_? You're into healing?"

"Uh… yeah. I mean… no. It's for my friend Allie. She's sick so I'm hanging out here with her and missing Hogsmeade. What are you doing in the castle, anyways? It's beautiful out and surely you have a girlfriend who should be dragging you to Hogsmeade today, right?"

Kingsley chuckled and Maia thanked the gods that she wasn't inclined to blushing.

"Uh no," Kingsley answered in a low comforting voice that made Maia want to squeal. "I don't have a girlfriend, actually."

"Oh, that's good." Maia nearly smacked herself with such an idiotic reply. Instead she decided that she had totally meant to sound suggestive. She smiled up at Kingsley through her eyelashes and said the first thing she could think of.

"We are so going to kick Ravenclaw's ass in Quidditch this upcoming match!" Maia made a mental note to yell at Kate and James for causing Quidditch to be at the forefront of her mind.

"Is that so?" Kingsley asked raising his eyebrows.

"Yes sir, we are going to do some serious booty-kicking!" Maia grinned. "Poor Sirius Black with his beaten up booty…"

"What?"

"Oh! Nevermind! I have a friend named Sirius and we're gonna kick some serious ass and… uh… yeah. Sometimes I should really just not talk. Sorry. I'll just go now…" Maia internally slapped herself a few more times and prayed that Shacklebolt would tell her it was ok.

"It's fine, Maia Regarne! It's cute." Kingsley was laughing.

"Really?" Maia beamed. "Cute? Cool! Thanks!"

"You are so weird!" he said with that charming smile. "I like it. But you're also very mistaken."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes indeed. We'll be the ones winning this upcoming match."

"Would you put your money where your mouth is?"

"I would. 20 galleons." Maia gaped at him before stupidly nodding and shaking his hand.

"Cool. Well then, Kingsley Shacklebolt, I'm off to help my poor dying friend. See you later!" Maia turned around and walked out of the library. As she turned the corner she heard the attractive Ravenclaw shout after her.

"Pleasure to meet you, Maia Regarne! You are going down!"

***

"I'm back, sick one, with your book and a lovely potion from the hospital wing," Maia called cheerfully as she entered the dormitory, "And you'll never guess who I met coming out of the…" She trailed off as the sight of Allie, huddled in a ball at the end of her four poster bed, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh my god! Allie, what's wrong?" Allie didn't answer, but just shook her head. Maia set down the potion and book she held and crossed over to sit down next to her friend and took her in her arms. "Allie, really, you have to tell me what's wrong. What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Remus," Allie sobbed.

"What about Remus? Is he okay?"

"He… He broke up with me," she cried, leaning into her friend's embrace.

"That bastard!" Maia exclaimed, "I'll kill him! Why did he break up with you?"

"I can't tell you," Allie said, avoiding her friend's angry eyes, "I promised him I wouldn't tell you."

"He didn't…" Maia started, her face paling, "He didn't _hurt_ you, did he?"

"No," Allie answered, struggling to stop the sobs that were shaking her small body, "I just promised not to tell anyone."

"That bastard!" Maia yelled again, "I'm going to go tell him exactly what he is." She stood up and started towards the door, but Allie grabbed her arm, pulling her back.

"No! Don't! You can't! And he's not a bastard. It's complicated. But I can't tell you"

"Give me one good reason to not go and put him in a full body bind, castrate him and throw him to the giant squid."

"Because I love him! And he can't help it that he doesn't love me back."

"Are you sure?" Allie nodded miserably. Maia looked at her for a couple moments before sitting back down beside her on the bed, "Alright. But all you have to do is say the word and he'll wish he were Snape, wandless and facing James and Sirius." Allie gave her friend a watery smile, but didn't say anything. She didn't know what to say. She'd promised Remus she wouldn't tell why he'd ended things with her and it wasn't her place to tell, but it hurt so much. She loved him and she needed him and now it felt as though she was breaking into a million pieces. She couldn't breathe.

"It will be okay," Maia comforted as she held her crying friend, "I promise, it will be okay."

***

Remus sat in an armchair in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room, his head in his hands. His last conversation with Allie kept replaying itself over and over in his head. He felt horrible for hurting her. But he really hadn't had a choice. As Sirius had said, there was something undeniable between them and they both felt it. And he couldn't keep lying to Allie. She had deserved to know the truth and she deserved to be with somebody who could love her.

But he still felt guilty. Guilty about lying to Allie and hurting her, guilty about having these feelings for his best friend when he'd so recently resolved to end them, guilty about feeling guilty. His head was swimming with thoughts of Allie, Sirius, the kiss, the breakup and what seemed like an all-you-can-eat buffet of confusion. He sighed and, much to his dismay, the scene that had just occurred with Allie played itself once more in his memory.

_Remus walked slowly across the common room. He knew what he had to do. He had to talk to Allie, to figure out this mess he had gotten himself into. He didn't particularly want to do it now, not when Allie was already feeling horrible from being sick, but he knew that, if he put it off, the situation would spiral out of control. With a heavy sigh he started up the staircase to the girls' dormitory, making sure to skip the step that turned the staircase into a slide to unsuspecting boys. Despite everything, he grinned at the knowledge that he and his friends were perhaps some of the only wizard students at Hogwarts to figure out how to get to the girls' dormitory. But the smile slid from his face when he reached the door to the room that Allie, Kate, Maia and Lily shared. _

_Summoning all of the courage that had caused him to be sorted into Gryffindor House, he knocked on the door. There was no answer. He knocked again, still no answer. Slowly he opened the door and peeked inside. Allie lay asleep on her bed, bits of what appeared to be homework scattered around her. He shook his head; Allie was one of the only teenagers he knew who would attempt to do homework while sick._

"_Allie?" Remus called softly, hating himself for waking her up to have the conversation he knew they must have._

"_Remus?" She asked in a hoarse voice and she sat up and squinted at him, "What are you doing here? Why aren't you in Hogsmeade?"_

"_We have to talk."_

"_What about?" _

"_Us."_

"_What about us? We're okay, right?" She pushed herself up out of bed and crossed the room so that she stood next to Remus. Taking his hand in hers she asked, "Is everything okay? You look upset."_

"_I'm fine. No, that's a lie. I'm confused. And I need you to know right now that this is not about you. You are amazing. You are a wonderful, sweet, intelligent, loyal, caring person. But I… we need… There's this… I'm not… I…" He drifted off. Allie looked into his caramel eyes for a moment, trying to read him, but he looked away. And she understood._

"_You are going to break up with me," she stated simply. He nodded and she closed her eyes, trying to steady herself. "Why? Is there… Is there someone else?"_

"_Kind of," Remus answered slowly. Allie let his hand drop and stepped back a few paces._

"_What do you mean 'kind of'?" she asked, an angry edge in her voice, "How can there 'kind of' be someone else?"_

"_Because I'm confused about how I feel."_

"_Well, now I'm pretty confused as well, Remus. Because I wasn't aware that there was something wrong with us to begin with! And now you're saying there's 'kind of' someone else? I don't understand. I love you. I thought you loved me too!"_

"_I do love you. Just not the way you need me to. I really care about you Allie, I really do. And I can't lie to you anymore."_

"_You've been lying to me?" Her voice rose a bit higher, "Are you saying you've been cheating on me?"_

"_I didn't mean to Allie, honestly. I didn't want to cheat on you. I never wanted anything to happen this way."_

"You_ didn't want things to happen this way?" she said incredulously, a rare fury building behind her words. "Well I sure as hell didn't want things to happen this way. Who is the other girl?" Tears threatened to spill from behind her eyes but she ignored them, staring at the young man across the room from her, "Who have you been cheating on me with? How long has this been going on?"_

"_Peter's party. It's only happened twice. But the first time was at Peter's party," Remus admitted._

"_But… but… that's over a month ago," Allie breathed, "You've been lying to me for over a month? Who is it Remus? Who is the lucky girl I get to hex into oblivion? Oh god--"_

"_There isn't another girl, Allie."_

"_What do you mean there isn't another girl? You just said…" Allie drifted off as realization of what Remus' words meant overcame her. She staggered back and fell onto her bed, "Oh God. Oh my God… Who, Remus?"_

"_Sirius."_

"_Sirius? Sirius Black?" Allie squeaked. Remus nodded and looked away. They stayed like that, Allie staring at Remus and Remus staring out the window, for a long time. Then the silence broke as Allie began to cry and, then, shout._

"_How could you do that to me, Remus?" she yelled through her tears, "How could you not have told me? For over a month you've been lying to me about one of our friends! Who is a guy! Why didn't you tell me? Didn't you think I deserved to know?"_

"_I didn't want hurt you," Remus answered, his voice pleading, "I thought I could make what I was feeling go away. I knew that I should be with you, that I should want to love you. I really didn't mean to hurt you."_

"_Well clearly you failed."_

"_I'm so sor-"_

"_Don't say it. Just don't." Allie said, her voice suddenly quite calm, "I don't want to hear it, Remus."_

"_I understand," he said solemly._

"_No, I don't think you do."_

"_You're probably right. But I hope you can forgive me." Allie just glared at him. He continued, "I know you don't want to hear this, but this is hard for me too. He's my_ best friend_ Allie. I'm not supposed to feel this way about him. Please don't tell anybody. You deserve to know. But I can't have everybody know about this when it's still so new and confusing to me."_

"_So, just let me get this straight. You are breaking up with me because you've been cheating on me with your best friend and you don't want me to tell anybody because you don't think you can handle it?" Remus winced. Yes, that was exactly what he was doing. It wasn't fair and he felt horrible about it, but it was what he needed at the moment. He nodded. Allie looked at him for a moment, considering, before nodding. "I won't tell."_

"_Are you okay?" He asked tentatively?_

"_Not really," she mumbled._

"_Is there anything I can do?"_

"_I really think the best thing you can do is to just leave, honestly." He nodded and backed out of the room. Remus shut the door behind him, but not before he heard a soul wrenching sob fill the room. _

***

"Who's going to the Quidditch match tomorrow?" Lily asked her friends the following Friday as they got ready for bed.

"Not me!" Kate called from the bathroom, "I hate Quidditch!"

"Oh shut up," Lily said with a chuckle, "I think James would kill you if you missed the first match."

"Oh, so he's 'James' now?" Maia asked, raising her eyebrows.

"I've decided to be mature and quit using surnames," Lily stated, looking away from the suspicious look on Maia's face, "Are you going Allie?"

"I don't know," the short girl said, "I think I might take advantage of the quiet common room to get some studying done."

"C'mon, Als," Maia coaxed, "You've been doing nothing but studying all week!"

"I know," Allie sighed, "But I haven't really been able to concentrate and I have so much work to do!" Lily and Maia exchanged worried looks. Even though the potion from Madam Pomfrey had instantly cured Allie's cold the previous weekend, the young Gryffindor still looked pale and had bags under her eyes. All week Allie had been quiet and withdrawn, picking at meals and choosing to study alone during breaks. And, while the choice wasn't all that peculiar for the girl, she usually invited her friends to study with her. Her friends didn't know what to do to cheer her up. They didn't know why Remus had broken up with her and, when they asked, she refused to tell them. She also refused to let them be mad at him for her sake. '_It's not his fault,_' is all she would say, '_He just doesn't love me. But it's not his fault.'_ Her three friends were all anxious for her to return to some resemblance of her cheery self.

"Am I hearing right?" Kate asked as she walked into the room, "Are you really considering skipping one of my games?"

"Well…" Allie started.

"I'm sorry, but that is not acceptable," Kate said, "You have no choice! You're getting out of the castle and to the Quidditch pitch if the three of us have to hex you."

"We can go together," Lily suggested, "The three of us! We can cheer on Kate and pretend boys don't exist. Just like the good old days."

"Boys existed in the good old days, Lils," Maia corrected, "We just didn't care about them. But Lily is right. You have to help us cheer on Gryffindor! I made a wager with Shacklebolt as to who will win the match and our team needs all the support it can get."

"Excuse me!" Kate said, in fake offense, "There's no chance that Ravenclaw will beat us tomorrow! Our team is damn good!"

"Please come, Allie," Lily encouraged, "You'll have a good time. And we won't even make you come to the after party if we win."

"Why is there doubt about us winning?" Kate teased, throwing a pillow at Lily. She turned to Allie, "But, really Allie, I really want you to come." Allie looked at her three friends, all of whom had been great the entire week. She knew she had no choice.

"Alright," she conceded, "But we're not sitting by the boys."

***

In the boy's dorm, Remus, Sirius, and Peter watched from their line on Peter's bed as James searched to find clean Quidditch gear.

"Prongs, use your wand," Remus suggested, laughing. James slammed his palm to his forehead and summoned what he needed then Scourgified what was dirty. While the messy haired boy tugged on his shirt, a hand wove its long fingers between Remus'. He quickly pulled his hand away and gave Sirius an exasperated expression.

Sirius bit his lip, in what Remus was sorry to see as a confused and hurt expression. Remus was glad of the other boys' presence in the room that allowed him to ignore his friend and store his confusion deep in the back of his brain.

"First game of the season! I'm not one to be nervous, but I have to admit," James was pulling on his flying boots now, "I feel like I'm about to pee my pants!"

"Don't do that, you just cleaned those," Peter reasoned calmly. "And don't worry. Our team is great and I'm sure that if you lose you can just schedule more practices. Kristi would like that, I'm sure."

"Not helping, Wormtail!"

"Right, sorry."

"But he's right. You'll do wonderfully. You always pull through," Remus said standing up away from a Sirius that was just too close. Remus had broken up with Allie a week ago, but things with Sirius where still up in the air. Every time they got close to each other zaps of energy sizzled between them. It wasn't that Remus didn't want to be around Sirius, and it definitely wasn't that he didn't want to touch and kiss Sirius, it was just that…. He was confused. What would James and Peter think? Was he really into guys? Was it just Sirius? Maybe he was just too sexually driven? Why had he liked Allie, if he was really gay? Sirius is his best friend and best friends don't date! He shook his head, trying to clear it.

"You alright there, Moony?" Peter asked, "You look kind of upset."

"No, I'm fine," Remus lied, "Just hungry. And excited for the game. Let's go get breakfast so our star chaser can win this match!"

***

"GO GO GRYFFINDOR! MAKE THE RAVENCLAWS ALL SORE!"

Peter, Sirius and Remus led in loud obnoxious cheers with Maia, Lily and even Allie, all shouting at the top of their lungs along with everyone else. The sky was a translucent blue, and completely empty of all clouds on this warmer than average October afternoon.

"GO GO GRYFFINDOR! WE ARE LIONS, HEAR US ROAR!"

Finally, after a difficult brain-melting week, Allie was starting to breath normally and she squeezed Lily's and Maia's hands; silent thanks for making her come to the game.

"The score is 50/30, Gryffindor in the lead! Ravenclaw in possession! Greggor passes swiftly between two diving bludgers sent his way by Miller and Ericson! Potter and new chaser Kristi Alith fly beneath him as Jade Verden swerves in front in a clear effort to block the play, but NO! Greggor keeps flying into the scoring zone and he shoots! Lovely save by Kate Brown and it's Gryffindor in possession again!"

Hollering from the Gryffindor stands nearly blocked out after Kate's brilliant save. She smiled broadly and squinted at the stands knowing full well she wouldn't be able to find her friends' faces.

"GO GO GRYFFINDOR! RAVENCLAWS ARE ALL DUMB WHORES!"

"Sirius Black! Detention!"

"But Professor!"

The entire stand burst into laughter and only a few brave guys actually repeated the cheer Sirius had bellowed.

"I don't get it!" Allie whispered annoyed to Maia. "What's so special about Black anyways?"

"Hmm? Did somebody say he was special?" Maia asked bewildered and still giggling at her idiot friend, Sirius.

"No… nevermind. Sirius is funny, is all."

"Yeah… he is." Maia looked at her best friend and then across the stands at the Marauders. Again, she wondered what Allie couldn't explain to her and wondered why there where new hard feelings between Allie and Sirius. Gryffindor scored again and Maia quickly put this twisted drama out of her head and reserved for later ponderings.

"GO GO GRYFFINDOR!"

Suddenly, on the far end of the pitch near the Ravenclaw goalposts, the Ravenclaw seeker, Josh Mason, went into a dive. Silence overtook the crowd and all eyes locked onto the 7th year as he flew faster and faster towards the ground where the small golden snitch fluttered. Angela Miller, the Gryffindor seeker, accelerated in an attempt to reach the snitch first, but she was on the opposite side of the field.

"C'MON ANGELA!" Sirius yelled at the top of his lungs. Now both the seekers were closing in on the snitch. Two hands reached out in an attempt to grasp the tiny ball and it was caught. Josh Mason raised his hand into the air in triumph. Sirius cussed loudly. Ravenclaw had won.

A/N: So... what did you think? What did you like? What didn't you like? What do you think of our portrayal of Kingsley? How long do you all think that Kristi and James will last? Let us know!


	10. New Beginnings

[A/N] Hey there! This is our longest chapter yet! A lot happens, but it might feel like nothing is happening. I promise this is all important though, so bear with us, okay? Again, thanks for all the lovely reviews, they make life better! I wonder when we'll be able to say we have 50 reviews... wouldn't that be cool? I'd be soooo happy!

Disclaimer: Jo is amazing. We are not hers. Wait, yes we are... or um... we don't own Harry Potter! We only have bits of plot and our OCs.

**New Beginnings**

_I believed that you'd always be here  
'Cause once you promised a life with no fear.  
Please don't break my ideals  
And say what's fake was always real.  
Hope was the one, now I know.  
Take me back again._

_-Shine (acoustic) by Muse_

"I can't believe we lost," James said, mostly to himself, as he sat with the rest of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, staring into the fireplace later that evening, "Our team is so good!"

"I'm sorry I missed the snitch, James," Angela said.

"No, it's not your fault," James argued, "Your position may get the most points in one go, but we're still a team and winning is a team effort. Jade, Kristi and I could've racked up more points, Kate could've saved more goals, Eric and Jason could've hit more bludgers. But it doesn't come down to just one person, not really."

"So, you're saying we all suck?" Kate asked, amused, in spite of herself.

"No, most definitely not. Didn't I just say how good of a team we are? We'll just have to practice more and practice harder. We can still win the cup!"

"I'm in it for the cup!" Kristi agreed, smiling at James and putting her hand on his. The other all nodded in agreement. James smiled at his team, and then turned to the blonde next to him. Since their date in Hogsmeade, Kristi had been everywhere James turned, smiling at him, touching his arm and agreeing with him. At first he'd been hesitant to return the affection because he wasn't entire sure how he felt about the girl and his parents had taught him to be a gentleman and not lead girls on. But as he looked at her now, unable not to notice how attractive she was, James decided that he may as well go for it. Lily wasn't any more impressed with him now than she'd been at the start of the year; he really had nothing to lose. He ruffled his hair and smiled back at her.

"Fancy a walk?" He asked her, standing up and holding out his arm. She giggled and accepted his arm as he led her through the portrait hole and out of the common room. The rest of the team took that as their cue to disband the informal meeting and join their friends in the various areas of the common room. Kate rolled her eyes at her captain's overdone chivalry and made her way to where Maia, Allie and Lily sat, trying to get some homework done.

"What exactly does he see in her?" Lily asked her friends as she watched with narrowed eyes as James whispered something to the fifth year and helped her through the portrait hole.

"What does who see in whom?" Kate asked, settling down in a chair across the table from Lily and pulling a book on exotic magical plants out of her bag.

"No one," Lily said quickly, turning her eyes away from the place where James and Kristi had disappeared. Kate looked at her curiously.

"She means James and Kristi," Maia said without looking up from her essay on switching spells.

"Since when do you care about who James likes?" Kate asked, slightly taken aback.

"I don't _care_," Lily argued, "I was merely curious. As if I give a damn who James Potter dates or why."

"Then why ask?" Kate pressed, sharing a knowing glance with Maia, who had looked up from her essay to watch Lily's pointless assertions.

"I said already," Lily retorted coolly, "I was _curious_. Is that a crime?"

"Not at all," Kate answered, eyebrows raised.

"But biting heads off _is _a crime," Maia added, "Especially heads of your best friends who are just concerned about your happiness."

"Shut it," Lily said with a glare at her friends. She turned to Allie; the only of her friends still attempting to work, "Want to work with me on the potions essay?"

"Sure," Allie said, looking up, "Here or in the library?"

"Let's go to the library," Lily answered decisively, gathering her books and parchment, "That way we can work with in peace without people pestering us." Allie nodded and, putting her own things in her bag, stood up.

"Do you think she really doesn't care who he dates?" Kate asked Maia as they watched their two friends leave the common room.

"Not at all," Maia answered, "She's cared for at least a year, but I think she's only just begun to realize it. And I think that's why she's fighting so hard against it. Part of her knows that she fancies James Potter and it scares her more than anyone, even she, knows."

***

"May I suggest," James started the following morning, "to the general audience of this dormitory, that we execute a prank?" Sirius gave a noncommittal shrug and Remus peered at James over the book he was reading. Only Peter, who looked up from the letter he was writing to his mother, showed any interest.

"What did you have in mind?" Peter asked curiously.

"Well, Wormtail," James answered, glad to have some resemblance of an audience for his plans, "I think that Snivellus has gotten far too comfortable of late with his Slytherin Death Eater pals. We ought to make sure they realize that sloth is a deadly sin."

"You want them to hex first year muggleborns with dark magic?" Remus asked, an eyebrow raised.

"No! Of course not!" James exclaimed, "I just meant that they shouldn't feel so at ease. We need to make sure they are on guard."

"Had you given this any more thought, or were you planning on just blindly hexing them into oblivion?" Sirius asked listlessly, "Because I'd be completely okay with that. I'm bored, restless, and more than ready for some action."

"Well…" James hesitated, "I'm open to ideas, but I suggest that we do something about the state of his robes. They kind of hang off him, don't they?"

"Oh," Sirius said, eyes lighting up as anticipation quickly overtook him, "I think we should help him with that. Right now he looks like a pygmy puff in Hagrid's robes."

"Albeit a pygmy puff that got dumped in a gallon of your motorbike grease," James added. "To remedy this, I propose that, on Halloween Eve, we shorten his robes approximately five inches."

"We should charm them so they shorten even more every time he tries to turn them back!" Peter piped.

"Good idea, Wormtail," Sirius exclaimed, patting him on the back enthusiastically.

"You in, Moony?" James asked. Remus hesitated.

"C'mon, Moony," Sirius encouraged, "we haven't done _anything _this year!"

"Well… that's not entirely true," Remus argued.

"The train doesn't count," James dismissed with a wave of his hand, "We weren't actually at school then."

"You aren't going to lose your badge," Peter pointed out, "You did stuff last year and you still have it."

"Have some fun," Sirius urged, and somehow Remus knew his friend was referring to more that pranking Snape, "You don't have nearly enough fun. Plus, while Prongs' idea is a good start, to be honest, it's kind of lame. We could use your intelligence to come up with something more… creative."

"Well…" Remus said slowly. If he was being honest with himself, he'd have admitted that his friends hadn't really needed to convince him. As always, the idea of a night marauding or a plan to put Snape and the other Death-Eaters-in-training in their places was enough to make him forget that he wore a prefect badge and was therefore responsible for preventing such activities. Wormtail was glancing around the room in anticipation; Sirius looked anxious to hear Remus' decision, but the glint of trouble making lit his eyes and James was standing back on his heels, arms crossed and looking at Remus as though he knew _exactly _where Remus' decision would fall.

"I'm in. I know just the way to further remedy Snivellus's robes."

***

"Peter!" A voice rang across the common room as the four marauders made their way down from their dormitory a couple hours later. Peter recognized the voice and turned around to see a sandy blonde girl with blue eyes smiling at him.

"Heather," he breathed, a matching smile spreading across his face. It amazed him how, even after nearly two months, the young Gryffindor still managed to stun him. He hurried over to her and pulled her into an embrace.

"Oy, Wormtail!" Sirius called from near the portrait hole, "Want us to go on while you're otherwise occupied?"

"Yeah…" Peter answered distractedly, "I'll just meet up with you guys at the-"

"Library," James interrupted before Peter's distraction gave them away, "We'll be at the library." Peter nodded vaguely as his friends climbed out of the portrait hole.

"Your friends are going to the library?" Heather asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Not exactly," Peter murmured, "But I know where they'll be and it's not with us and that's what matters."

"Well then," Heather continued, "I think that we should go somewhere too."

"The library?" Peter asked.

"Not if your friends are going to be there," Heather smirked, "I was thinking more along the lines of an empty classroom."

"You're so cute when you're trying to be suggestive," Peter whispered, putting his hand on her chin and tilting it upwards. She blushed, the natural rosiness of her cheeks coming into full bloom.

"I… cute… it's not what I was going for," she stammered.

"But cute is the way I like you," Peter answered before catching her lips in his.

"Peter," a bored female voice called from across the room. Again, Peter recognized it. But this time, rather than causing him to smile, he grimaced slightly. He pulled himself away from Heather and turned around.

"Yes, Kristi?" He asked with forced patience.

"Where's James?" She asked, dismissing the fact that she'd interrupted what had clearly been an intimate moment.

"The library," Peter answered curtly, keeping with the peculiar alibi James had thought of moments before.

"Yeah, right," Kristi said in disbelief before turning to Heather, "Do _you _know where James is, or is your boyfriend lying to me?"

"He said he'd be in the library," Heather shrugged, "I'm sorry Kriss. If he's not there, I have no idea where he is." Kristi glared at her friend and stalked off, across the common room and through the portrait hole.

"What does James see in her?" Peter asked. Heather looked at him quizzically, "I mean, I know she's one of your best friends. But I just can't see her and James working. She's kind of…"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," Heather said with a laugh that sounded like bells to Peter, "She's not usually like this. She's just… not very good with boys. It's fine when she's friends with them, but when she decides she likes them, she can be insufferable." Peter nodded but didn't completely agree. He remembered how Kristi had been standoffish and mildly rude at his birthday party.

"What I don't understand," Heather continued, "Is why James is with her. I thought he was head over heels for Lily Evans."

"He is," Peter agreed, but didn't say any more on the topic. That was James' business and if he wanted to tell people, he could. Peter wouldn't betray his friend's confidence in that way. "I'm much luckier than him."

"Why's that?"

"Because I'm with the girl I'm head over heels for," He said seriously, looking down into Heather's light blue eyes, "Let's go on a walk."

"It is a nice day out, maybe one of the last before winter sets in," Heather agreed, "The lake is always lovely this time of year." Peter took her small hand in his. He hoped his friends would realize, and not mind, that it would be quite some time before he caught up with them.

***

The next day, the four boys were all eating lunch under a clear blue sky-ceiling in the great hall in-between classes when James looked up to see a beaming 3rd year girl waving at them.

"Hey, Wormtail, your younger sister is trying to get your attention," he said through a bite of roast beef sandwich. The other three boys smiled as Helen made her way through a crowd of hungry people to come sit by them. Her light brown hair was combed nicely into a high ponytail and Peter grinned at how grown up his baby sister had become even though she was still petite as ever.

"Hey, Peter!" She smiled. "Hello Sirius. Hi James, Remus." She nodded at all of the boys, blushing when approaching Sirius' name.

"Hey cutie," Sirius winked making Helen blush deeper. "What can the marauders do for ya'?"

"Oh…" Helen ripped her eyes away from Sirius and looked directly at her brother. "I was actually hoping I could talk to you for a bit Peter. You always ignore me at school."

"Nah, I don't, you're just as busy with your own little friends! Sure though, wanna take a short walk before class?" The two Pettigrews stood up and bidding farewell to the other three, they strolled out of the great hall and walked outside. The October air was chilly and Helen pulled her cardigan tighter around herself.

"So, what's up? Everything ok?" Peter asked her once they were out on a path close to the castle.

"I don't know… I miss Mum," Helen admitted. "Have you been writing her? She's not saying it directly, but I can tell she's having some trouble with money."

"Yeah? I don't think you should be worried. We'll always take care of you. You know that." Peter didn't like the confused look in Helen's eyes. Now, he thought again, maybe she was looking a bit too grown up. There was a slight crease between her brows and her usually round face looked a bit thinner.

"I'm not worried about me! I'm safe here at Hogwarts. I'm worried about Mum. It's getting kind of scary out there and with Dad working with those scary guys—"

"Helen, don't worry about it. I'm sure Dad knows what he's doing."

"But he won't ever write me back when I send letters and… I feel like I don't know him anymore. Since he left Mum, I'm so worried about her. What if he doesn't protect her from those guys he's working with now?"

"He'll make sure nobody hurts us or Mum. Don't worry about it—"

"Peter! I know what they're called! I heard some girls talking about it. They're called Death Eaters. What does that even mean? It sounds so creepy!"

"Just… focus on school work, okay? How are your classes this year?" Helen glared at him but knew that she wasn't going to get any more information out of him. Besides, she did want some help for some charms stuff she'd learned in class. Peter loved being the smarter, older brother and was happy for the change in topic, so they talked about less frightening stuff for the remainder of their walk and when Helen walked off to her own classes Peter thought that maybe, just maybe, she looked young again; like he had lifted some weight off her shoulder somehow. With those wishful thoughts he walked back into the castle to meet his friends for Defense Against the Dark Arts.

***

Weather was getting chillier and so Prof. Mansfield had lit a fire in the corner of the classroom and all the students were comfortably leaning back in their seats while he lectured about the new unit.

"We've covered some der basic defensive spells 'ready dis year and so now we'll work on dis new unit about Dangerous Dark Creatures, donchya know. Yous can check out a book called just dat, _Dangerous Dark Creatures_ if you want extra readin'. It's by the Berkins Duns." Mansfield wrote the title on the board in big letters and there was a bustle of scratching quills from the Ravenclaws (and Allie) in the room.

"Anyways, we's is gonna start wit' werewolves who aren't necessarily Dark by nature but can go dat way der. O'course dey will be dangerous if you cross one 'round the full moon."

"No offence, Professor, but we've already learned all about how to recognize and escape a werewolf. That was all on the O.. What else do we really have to know?" A Slytherin girl with pinched cheeks asked.

"Well, dat der is a good question, hey? We'll be going more inta' depth wit dem. We'll learn about common werewolf culture and why some o' dem go bad and why some of dem stay good. It'll almost be like a psychology class mixed with some anthropology. Can anybody tell me why dis might be important stuffs ta know 'bout? Yes, Miss Regarne?"

"Because, if we know what can make them turn against regular humans then we can try to make sure they don't. Also, if we understand them, then we can maybe help keep them contained during the full moon. I mean, why would anybody _want_ to be a monster?" Maia said ignoring glares from certain people in the room. Other people, mostly her friends grinned encouragingly.

"Well spoken, Miss Regarne! 5 points for Gryffindor!" Prof. Mansfield continued as several hands shot into the air. "I can't help but notice, however, dat you used terms such as 'dem' and 'we'—"

"Oh! I didn't mean—"

"No worries, lass. It's just that we'd better notice how we talk, eh?" Maia nodded, blushing.

"I see dat lot's of you want to add your two cents, eh. Miss Todd?"

A large Ravenclaw girl put down her hand and started speaking at top speed. "I don't mean to insult victims of such an awful thing, but you must admit that once they are bitten you can't really do anything to change them. They're evil and that's the way of the species! Just like Vampires or Dementors."

At this erupted loud choruses of agreement along with quite a few outraged disagreements.

"—Of course they're evil! They kill people!—"

"—They're just nasty! Not even real Wizards!—"

"—What about their families? It's not their fault they were bitten!—"

"—It's possible for them to be good, I swear!—"

"—It's not like any of us have actually _talked_ to one before, how would we have any idea?—"

"—You say that as if you think knowing one would be a _good_ thing!—"

"—You are all just bigots!—"

"—Well you're all idiots!—"

Remus sunk in his seat and scribbled so hard on his parchment that his quill snapped in two. Thankfully, only his friends noticed in the chaos that was class and Sirius quickly repaired it under his breath. Prof. Mansfield was trying to get everyone to calm down, but apparently everybody had _something _to say. James took the quill from Remus' white knuckles and scribbled down, "_You okay, Moony?" _

Sirius looked at James as if to say 'Of course he's not okay, you prat!' James shrugged and started digging in his school bag. Meanwhile Peter was arguing with some Slytherins who kept insisting that werewolves were evil.

Looking in Remus' downcast eyes, Sirius felt his heart wrench with sympathy. Underneath the table he squeezed Remus' hand and, for once, Remus didn't pull away, but squeezed back, readily taking the comfort.

Just then, there was a loud bang from where James was sitting, and everyone halted their speaking. James winked at his friends and they knew he'd used a Noise Halting Boom-Breaker. He smiled sheepishly at the relieved looking professor.

"Just thought it was getting a tad chaotic," James informed the class.

"Danka' Mr. Potter, I quite agree." Professor Mansfield went on wiping sweat from his brow. "Now, I believe dat an essay about your opinion on the matter from what you know so far should be turned in by all of you by tomorrow, hey. Den once we've done a bit more studyin' yous can all write another more educated essay 'bout what you think, eh?"

There was a murmur of contempt and consent before Professor Mansfield continued to talk about werewolves and their common lifestyle choices. Things calmed down and everybody took notes, even Remus took studious notes on what was mostly old information.

At the end of class, when everybody else filed noisily out of the room Professor Mansfield subtly leaned down to Remus and in a kind voice asked if he would like to have a cup of tea. Remus bit his lip, mostly just wanting to leave the room and forget the whole things but Mansfield looked genuine and Remus supposed it might be worth it.

"I have a free period now, Professor." Remus waved his friends goodbye and sat down at Mansfield's desk. In a few moments all the other students were gone and it was just the two of them. Mansfield silently poured two cups of tea and then looked up at his pupil.

"I reckon dis dere lesson was hard on you, eh?" Mansfield raised his eyebrows and handed Remus a teacup.

"Uhm…" Remus didn't have any idea what to say so he took a sip of the tea. It was perfectly warm licorice and he sighed as it helped to ease his nerves from the class.

"A bit, yeah."

"It's part of the curriculum and I agree dat learning about werewolves is a very important lesson, otherwise I'd hate to bring it up with you in da class and having to listen to da sensitive debates, donchya know," Mansfield nodded importantly. "Instead of having you write about how you think we should treat werewolves, I would like for you to write an essay about how the treatment of werewolves and how it has effected your life. It will of course be confidential."

"Oh, that sounds good Professor," Remus smiled at his teacher glad that instead of pretending that Remus wasn't a werewolf Mansfield was acknowledging this and was helping him to express and talk about it. Before Remus had any time to think about it he started talking.

"It's hard. Having to lie to everyone. And hearing what over half the class thinks about what I can't help being… it sucks."

"I bet. You know, my brother is a werewolf. He got turned when we were about your age. Awful thing, eh. He wasn't able to cope like you. It's like he dinks it's his fault, donchya know?"

Remus nodded. He did know.

***

"Allie, when is that Transfiguration essay due?" Maia asked lazily from her position draped across the couch with her legs lying in Kate's lap. Lily had her Runic Translations book and several pieces of parchment spread across the floor in front of the couch. Allie was sitting cross legged next to the Gryffindor fireplace with a potions book. She looked up at her friend with a wary look on her face.

"Tomorrow… have you done it?"

"Sort of?" Maia groaned and Kate laughed and responded.

"What does 'Sort of' mean, Maia oh wondrously vague one?" Maia covered her face with her arms and mumbled something incoherently.

"What's that, Maia oh wondrously mumbly one?" Kate asked in a mocking tone.

"I don't think mumbly is a word…" Allie thought out loud. Maia ignored her, choosing instead to repeat herself in a clear tone.

"I said… I've sort of done it as in I've thought about doing it." Maia avoided looking at Allie's scandalized expression by fiddling with loose gold thread on the couch. She stood up quickly and, lecturing Maia, the two of them hurried down to the library.

They only had a couple hours until curfew so Maia had changed out of her stuffy feeling uniform and she looked comfortably flirty wearing a tank top and baggy plaid pajama pants. Allie on the other hand wore black muggle jeans and a pink polo, her long brown hair pulled into a neat ponytail, strands of perfectly straight hair clipped up with bobby pins. The girls could not have looked more different in style and stance. Allie was still lecturing the other girl about responsibility and Maia was whining about how she was tired and didn't want to work. The only thing that marked the two girls as friends were the intertwined fingers that pulled Maia along.

The shorter girl stalked into the library and pushed her friend into a chair at a table. She then ran off to get all the millions of books that she deemed necessary to complete the assignment. Maia slumped in her chair and looked around the nearly empty library.

There was one loner Slytherin in a far corner that Maia recognized as Snape. She grimaced and looked away from the slimy git. Then there were some young stressed looking Hufflepuff girls. Maia sighed deeply at the lack of life in the room. _Too bad Kingsley isn't here… Of course… I guess I should avoid him now considering I owe him money that I don't have._

"Maia Regarne," A deep chocolaty voice came from right behind her and she jumped.

"Oh! Hi Kingsley Shacklebolt! You surprised me!" Maia breathed. "Actually, I was just thinking about you. Maybe I'm psychic?"

"Or maybe I'm just thought provoking?" Kingsley chuckled as he turned around to signal his friend Josh Mason. Then he sat down in the seat next to Maia and she bit her lip.

"No," She replied shaking her head and grinning. "I think I'm just psychic."

"Or maybe you were thinking about me because you have a guilty conscience?" Kingsley leaned back in the chair and Maia noticed a gold hoop on his ear. She smiled. She loved a good rebel.

"Ah, I see that smile! It means guilt!" Kingsley accused laughing and pointing to her smiling lips. She quickly forced her face into a silly looking scowl.

"No! I was thinking about your earring! It made me happy!" Maia said, her scowl failing and returning to a grin.

Kingsley was so sure of himself, it made Maia feel like she could be as silly or as real as she wanted around him. It was a very different kind of confidence than what James and Sirius possessed. As much as Maia loved the ridiculous Gryffindor boys, the air they carried wasn't the kind of self-assuredness that was contagious; it was instead the kind that often intimidated people. This made people strive to be liked by them and they always got plenty of positive attention. Kingsley though, talked to everyone the same, and so people approached him easily. Maia guessed that this was one reason why this black, intelligent, sexily-accented guy was so well liked throughout the school: it simply felt nice to be around him.

"Oh? You like it?" Kingsley asked his eyebrows arching in amusement.

"Wait… what do I like?" Maia had lost track of the conversation, distracted by the thoughts drifting through her brain.

"My earring," Kingsley looked confused now. He shook it off and suddenly looked serious. "So, as I was going to say, you owe me 20 galleons."

"Seriously? I didn't actually think…"

"You know what, Maia Regarne?" Kingsley interrupted a faux contemplative expression moved his dark features as he pretended to examine her carefully. "I can think of something better than 20 galleons. If you wish to give it to me, that is…"

Maia thought about all the various things Kingsley could possibly want. "What is it?"

"A date?" the wizard looked hopeful and nervous so Maia pretended to consider very carefully.

"I suppose… with you, I presume?"

"Well, yeah. And you. You and me." Maia grinned wide and nodded vigorously. Kingsley let out a breath and smiled at her. After a few moments of content and almost awkward silence, Allie appeared across the table from them with a large stack of books.

"So, I brought all the obvious choices for you to look in for references. I couldn't find a certain book that I used to help me write about the history of the spell, but I'm not sure you _have_ to include that in the essay. I did though. But you probably don't need to. Somebody probably checked it out… should I go ask Pince then?"

"Oh, hi Allie," Maia stared dazed at the pile of books, but her glee at being asked out by an incredibly hot guy didn't quite fade, even at the mention of homework.

"Hello, you must be Maia's friend Allie… Korets? Top Gryffindor female, and friend of lovely Miss Regarne. Pleasure to make your aquantiance."

"Yeah, hi," Allie was already digging out paper for Maia's essay. Maia loved how her friend would help her with studies so readily, but sometimes it bugged her that Allie barely even registered simple concepts like "hot boy" and "compliments from said boy". Maia rolled her eyes.

"Hey, Kingsley, we'd better get up to the common room. Earlier Greggor said he wanted to talk to you about something or other." It was Josh Mason, the seeker who had won Ravenclaw their last game. He was also Kingsley's best friend (as Maia knew because of all the times he was by Kingsley when she was staring at him from afar). "Hey, you must be little Miss Regarne who Kingsley kept mentioning. He really put some pressure on me to win that last game for some reason that had to do with you." Maia thanked the gods again that she didn't blush.

"But who is this?" Josh asked, his eyes gliding up and down Allie, who was busily marking pages for Maia to read. "I do not believe I've seen you before. I would remember if I had."

"That's my best friend, Allie Korets," Maia told him as she kicked Allie under the table. Allie looked up startled.

"Oh, hi," She smiled briefly and continued to look through the books.

"Yeah, hello," Josh gave her the most adorable crooked smile, but she missed it as her nose was buried in the texts. "What are you reading?"

"_Transformations and How to Transfigure Them_. By Hagifer Hannings."

"I see," Josh looked away looking a bit disappointed in her lack of interest. "Well, Kingsley, mate, we should get going."

"Right. I'll find you tomorrow Maia. To make plans." Kingsley tucked a bit of Maia's bangs out of her face and bit his lip. Maia leaned into his hand and he relaxed. "See you later, Korets."

"Bye girls. Later." Josh waved and the two Ravenclaws left the library.

"Allie!"

"What?!"

"You missed that completely, didn't you?"

"Missed what?"

"_I have a date with Kingsley Shacklebolt!_"

"Oh! Maia that's great! You like him, right?" Allie had finally looked up from her books and gave Maia her full attention.

"Yes, I like him! Did you at least notice that Josh Mason, genius and Quidditch star, was checking you out?"

"He was? Really? Why didn't he say anything to me?"

"Really, Allie? Really?! You are hopeless."

"I resent that!" The girls shared a look and Allie sighed. "I guess you're right. Maybe I should keep my eyes open for a potential relationship. I'm feeling a bit better about the whole Remus thing… but it's still kind of soon for me to think about guys too much."

"But Allie! It's the season of love! So full of possibilities! Friendships taking seed, families growing, romance blossoming! Come smell the flowers of possibility! Our future is in bloom!"

"Maia… it's autumn." The excited witch shrugged and started giggling.

"We're sixteen years old! It's always the season of love!"

"Okay, well, right now it's the season of essay writing. Love can wait."

"Yeah… it must be patient. I could name at least two people would wait for their special honey to come around for ages."

"Yeah? Who is that?"

"They both have black hair and call themselves marauders. That's all I'm saying."

Allie shrugged and pushed Maia's suggestions out of her head. Maia couldn't possibly know who Sirius wanted… could she? Besides, Remus had broken up with her so Sirius was probably just basking in Remus' affections right now. Right?

***

A/N: If you can read it you can review it! If you love it, hate it review! If you want updates, review! If you want something to happen, review! If you have a key board, review! (Wow, I'm sorry for being so pushy. This is what happens when liebedance isn't watching me writing author's notes.) We love you!

Peace.


	11. The First Halloween

[A/n: Hey there! glad you're reading! Thank you for the sweet reviews RemmyBlack, Isabella Cherone, and of course, Miss Heather! You rock! Also, we got lots of favorites which always makes us happy! If you want, tell us why you liked it! Also, school is starting again, so liebedance and I came up with a plan on how to deal with our busy scheduals. We plan on updating every two weeks. I hope that's okay, and if we go longer then that you have permission to yell at us.

Disclaimer: Jo is amazing, but I'm not sure she recognizes that Remus and Sirius were lovers... therefore, we are not Jo. We're just silly fangirls who love writing and love Harry Potter. Thanks for the opertunity to play in your world Jo! (As if she reads our fic. Of course, that would be pretty kickass.)]

**The First Halloween**

_Today is gonna be the day that they're gonna throw it back to you  
By now you shoulda, somehow, realized what you gotta do  
I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now  
And all the roads we have to walk are winding  
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding  
There are many things that I would like to say to you  
But I don't know how_

_-'Wonderwall' by Noel Gallagher_

"What are those four doing?" Lily asked her friends as they made their way down the staircase into the Entrance Hall. Maia followed Lily's glare to Remus, Sirius, James and Peter, who whispered to each other excitedly, clearly trying to suppress the urge to laugh.

"Probably planning something for tomorrow," Maia shrugged, "They've barely done any real pranks all year, so they probably want to do something big for Halloween."

"They've been doing things," Lily countered, "I've seen them hex younger students. Just last week James and Sirius hit a third year Slytherin with a horrible bat bogey hex!"

"Lils," Kate said, rolling her eyes, "We've gone to school with them for over five years now. You know them, hexing younger students with harmless jinxes is nothing."

"I don't like it," Lily grumbled, "You'd think, that with their brains, they would have better ways to spend their time!"

"I think we've all heard you sing this tune before," Kate teased, "And we all know what's coming next."

"What do you think is coming next?" Lily asked, narrowing her eyes at her friend.

"One of us will mention James specifically and you'll go off the wall at the mere suggestion that you fancy him, even though _we_ would've never said it in so many words," Maia answered smartly.

"You are just ridiculous, all of you." Lily crossed her arms and hurried the rest of the way down the stairs, through the Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall.

"You guys," Allie said, trying not to laugh at her friend's behaviour, "You really should stop bothering her about James."

"Allie, you know she likes him. We know she likes him. The only one who doesn't know she likes him is Lily!" Kate pointed out.

"Well, to be fair," Maia added, "I'm pretty sure James is still under the impression that she hates him."

"And the more you two tease her about it, the more she's going to adamantly refuse that she could possibly like him, even as a friend," Allie argued, "She's so stuck in the mindset of disliking him on principle that she won't open her eyes wide enough to realize that he's not the same arrogant little boy that he was before and that she really does like him!"

"He's still arrogant," Kate argued.

"But, he's matured," Allie countered, "And we have to just let her realize it on her own, or she'll just stay in denial."

"For somebody who is so seemingly wise about how these things work," Maia said with a smirk, "You've been completely oblivious to the attempts of a certain, very attractive, Ravenclaw seeker."

"You're making things up," Allie insisted, "You keep saying that Josh Mason has a thing for me, but, I swear, you're projecting Kingsley's attraction towards you onto me and Josh. History would prove that I am not the type of girl that normal guys, like _Josh Mason,_ want. Now, if you two don't mind, I'm going to join Lily for breakfast before class starts."

"She's still pretty upset about Remus, isn't she?" Kate asked as their short friend stalked off after Lily.

"I think there's more than she's willing to tell us concerning the break up," Maia said thoughtfully, "But between Allie's guilt complex and stoicism and Remus' secrecy, knowing for sure may prove difficult… of course, I always have my suspicions."

"Oh yeah?" Kate asked with interest. Maia shook her head and rolled her light green eyes.

"But I'm not sure; it's probably just a silly Maia-fantasy."

"Like the one where you where you would swear that darling Peter Pettigrew would someday show his 'shadowy side'?"

"He had put itching powder in my pajamas! It was obviously signs of him becoming a dark Wizard!" Maia insisted.

"Yeah, A dark wizard at age 12. Admit it Maia, you're full of it."

"I never said I wasn't!" Maia exclaimed, earning her a severe look from Kate, "Okay, well, yes I have."

"C'mon, Little-miss-full-of-it," Kate rolled her eyes, "Let's go catch up with our love-interest-free friends before they finish breakfast." Maia shrugged and smiled, following Kate into the Great Hall.

"I just really don't like the look on James Potter's face," Lily was saying as Maia and Kate joined them at the Gryffindor table, "He looks too _happy_."

"Happy is good, Lily my love," Maia said, reaching for some tea.

"But, this is the type of happy he looks when he and Sirius are planning something. I just don't like it," Lily continued.

"I'm sure that, whatever it is, it wouldn't be too harmful," Kate pointed out, "He hasn't ever done anything that has actually _hurt_ somebody."

"That's probably because Remus stops them before it gets that far," Lily countered.

"You are completely unwilling to give them credit," Maia said, "And it's unfair. They really are nice blokes."

"I'll believe it when I see it. And I have yet to see anything that proves that the pair of them are nothing but arrogant, selfish, stuck-up-" But exactly what else Lily thought of James Potter and Sirius Black at that moment was cut off by a loud voice coming from the Slytherin table.

"GO, GO, GRYFFINDOR, SEND THE PUREBLOODS TO THE FLOOR."

"What the-" Lily started, looking around for the source of the Gryffindor cheer. Her eyes fell on Severus Snape, who had stood up and was looking down at his robes in pure horror. The usually emerald green trim of his Hogwarts uniform now flashed brightly in red and pink.

"GO, GO, GRYFFINDOR, WE ARE LIONS, HEAR US ROAR!"

The entire Great Hall erupted into laughter as the most unpopular student's robes began to shrink, revealing knobby ankles and pale legs and arms. Snape shook in anger and glared at the Gryffindor table with the upmost loathing. At first Lily thought the look was for her, but when she followed his line of vision, she saw the hunched over, rasping for breath figures of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

"GO, GO, GRYFFINDOR, SLYTHERINS ARE ALL JUST WHORES!"

Snape froze for a moment before frantically scratching himself all over. The unmistakable scent of itching powder drafted across the Great Hall. Professors McGonagall, Dumbledore, and Slughorn were trying to settle everybody down, but to no avail. The sigh of Severus Snape in too small, pink and red, itching, Gryffindor-supporting robes was the best prank they'd seen all year.

James looked over at the girls, giving them a cheeky smile and raising his eyebrows. Lily stood up abruptly and, giving the messy-haired boy the dirtiest look she could, left her unfinished breakfast and stalked out of the Great Hall

***

"Uh oh," Peter whispered as the four boys walked into the Transfiguration classroom ten minutes later, "Lily does not look happy."

"That would be the understatement of the world, mate," Sirius said, raising his eyebrows, "I think she's trying to silently Avada Kedavra the blackboard."

"I can hear you, you know," Lily said, her voice steely, not taking her eyes from the board, "I'm not deaf."

"Sorry, love," James said with a smile, "we didn't mean to offend-"

"Don't call me love," Lily growled.

"Sorry," James apologized again, his smile fading.

"It's not me you should apologize to."

"What do you mean?" Peter asked.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Lily snapped, turning to face the four of them, her green eyes burning in anger, "What you guys did today was completely immature and cruel."

"What are you going to do?" Sirius asked, "Turn us in? You can't prove it was us."

"I know it was you," she spat.

"How do you know that?" James asked.

"Because, James Potter, only somebody as completely immature, arrogant, and self-absorbed as you would do something like that to any other person," Lily said quietly, staring into James' eyes, "I've said it before. You make me sick."

"Why, Lily?" James asked, his voice dropping and quite forgetting his friends were in the room, "Why do you hate me so much? I'd do anything for you, Lily."

"Then try growing up and being a man, for once," Lily answered. She turned to Remus, "Could you please tell Professor McGonagall that I didn't feel well?" Without waiting to see if he'd agreed, she turned and walked away, hoping the four boys hadn't seen the tears she couldn't understand begin to well up in her eyes. Why did James Potter make her feel this way?

***

Peter looked forward to Halloween every year, and this year was no different. When he and Helen had been children his mother had indulged them in all sorts of Muggle traditions that she had picked up from her own American mother. Each year the two of them would compete to make the best costume and then their mother would peel grapes and tell them they were eyeballs. They would decorate their little house with real removable cobwebs and their mum would enchant live bats to fly above their heads. Then, they would stay up watching cheesy horror movies and eat insane amounts of candy.

When Peter came to Hogwarts he was mildly disappointed with how little a deal was made out of his favorite holiday. The giant jack-o-lanterns were cool and the feast was always lots of fun, but nobody ever dressed up. This Halloween would be different though. This Halloween was a full moon and so Peter would get to put on the best costume ever. Tonight he would no longer be Peter; he would be wearing a rat costume.

That is why he was awake, wide eyed and bushytailed on this beautiful morning.

"Prongs! Time to wake up! It's _Halloween!_" Peter squeaked, shoving the sleeping boy awake.

"God, Peter! Get a grip. You're 16 bleedin' years old. It's just a holiday."

"C'mon, Prongs!" Peter whined, feeling stupid and childish for being so excited, but not really caring. There was another reason for being excited as well. "Remember the date? I don't care about pumpkins! I care about the _full moon!_"

"Oh!" James sat up quickly and grinned, forgetting all about being awoken so early, "Sorry, Wormtail, I can't believe forgot."

Peter grinned as James slapped him hard on the back. A groan came from the bed next to them and Peter saw that Sirius Black was pulling back the curtains of his four poster.

"Full moon tonight," Sirius said.

"Yeah! Aren't you excited!?" Peter squealed. Sirius nodded and got out of his bed.

The three boys grabbed towels, soap and clothes to change into and headed to the showers. After a very rejuvenating water fight Sirius suggested James and Peter go down to breakfast while he gently awakened Remus. The other two boys agreed. James was always too rough with waking up Remus during his time of month making the other boy temperamental and after one failed attempt Peter decided that dealing with Remus around the full moon was too much like dealing with a PMSing teenage girl.

***

Sirius walked quietly into their dormitory to hear Remus' soft snores. As he came to Remus' bed he slipped through the curtains and snuggled under the blankets with his friend. He wrapped his arms around Remus and the tired werewolf's face rested in the nook of his neck. Sirius' wet hair grazed Remus' cheek and the sleeping boy's eyes opened slightly.

Seeing it was Sirius, he snuggled closer, breathing deep the sweet smell of Sirius and shampoo. He couldn't help let out a soft moan of contentment. For a second, Sirius pondered why Remus had to keep changing his mind about what he wanted, but then he decided that it didn't really matter so long as Remus was in his arms at this perfect moment in time. Softly, barely daring to push his luck he kissed the top of Remus' head.

Remus smiled up at him, reopening his eyes.

"I love this," the caramel-eyed boy admitted. "I know I shouldn't. But I do. I love being here. With you."

Sirius opened his mouth to respond, but his voice got caught in his throat as Remus reached up a finger to silence him.

"Don't say anything. I want this to just be a good dream." Sirius couldn't keep in a groan. He started to complain, but Remus cut him off with a kiss so tender and love infused that Sirius had to fight from fainting. Needless to say, he completely forgot what he had been about to say. All he could remember was Remus. Remus: so tired and gentle, so unsure and needy.

Sirius parted Remus' lips with his tongue and was happy to note that Remus lacked morning breath. Without wondering how on earth this was possible he clutched Remus' loose t-shirt. Remus rolled over to lie on top of Sirius, their hips pressed together. Sirius, aching to touch Remus, reached his hands up the front of the werewolf's shirt. Those same hands traced each scar and mark on the handsome boy's body, longingly wishing he could make all those pains go away. He wished he could wash away all Remus's doubts and fears with kisses and caresses.

"Good morning," He whispered huskily in-between kisses.

"Shut up," Remus growled, pinning Sirius down and shoving his tongue roughly into Sirius's mouth. The black-haired boy happily obliged and became lost in passion.

***

Down in the pumpkin filled Great Hall, Peter and James were shoving food in their faces. James kept stealing glances at Lily as if he was trying to make her hate him less by sheer will power and hope. Lily kept staring determinedly at her plate as her friends chattered around her. Heather had sat next to Peter's little sister to help the younger student with Transfiguration. Peter constantly glanced down the table to the two of them and smiled lovingly.

"I think she's special," Peter announced to the various people around them.

"Yes, indeed she is the most special. If only she didn't loath me so." James was looking miserably at the lovely fiery haired maiden.

"What?" Peter looked at James in confusion. "Heather doesn't hate you! Why would you think that?"

James dragged his eyes away from Lily and to his very confused friend. Before he was able to correct him, however, a disheveled Sirius and a weary Remus entered the Great Hall. The two were unusually silent, but James couldn't help but notice the huge grin that Sirius was failing to suppress.

"Hello, my fellow marauders. Come, have a seat, indulge yourselves with a beautiful breakfast and prepare for the marvelous day that has dawned upon us!" James greeted the others. Sirius and Remus sat down closely next to each other. Remus managed a smile while Sirius remained exuberant.

"What are you so happy about, Padfoot, you're tail is wagging like you smell bacon?" Peter asked curiously.

"Oh, nothing…" Sirius said, still grinning. "It's just a rather beautiful day, don't you think?"

"Well said, mate. It's Halloween and the moon is just waiting to greet us! Perfectly beautiful day," James lifted his goblet of pumpkin juice and clinked glasses with Peter and Sirius. Remus sarcastically lifted his own glass and took a big chug of juice. The others didn't pester him with what was wrong. Full moons always made Moony moody and they understood that it was exhausting for him to simply make an appearance to all his classes today.

"So, as I was saying," Peter said after the cheers. "Heather doesn't hate you!"

"Oh, I know that, mate," James said, his mood dropping 20 degrees. "I wasn't talking about the lovely Miss Heather."

"Who were you talking about then?" Peter asked utterly clueless.

"Lily Evans." Sirius answered with a chuckle before James had a chance to. "Who is he _always_ talking about?"

"You laugh now! Just wait until you love somebody so completely and they simply refuse to love you back!" James pouted dramatically. "You have no idea how I feel!"

"Woah boy, calm down!" Sirius said half amused half annoyed. "Don't get your antlers in a twist. Besides, I might know more about unrequited love than you would think!"

"No, you don't," Remus whispered. The other three boys looked at him expectantly. "Only an idiot could say no to you, Sirius."

"You mean that?" Sirius asked, out of breath. Remus looked up into those grey eyes, so completely full of hope. Biting his lip, Remus nodded.

Sirius felt high; like he was soaring through blissful clouds with his lovely werewolf lover in his arms. The grin he had been trying to suppress burst free and he looked like he might start doing cartwheels through the hall and kiss every person in the room. He would, of course, kiss Remus the hardest and the longest and the sweetest. Everyone would stand up to cheer because they would see the love and be inspired. Then all of Hogwarts would declare themselves in love and there would be a huge fiesta and--

Then Peter woke Sirius from his fantasy with a vigorous nod. "Yeah, you and James are easily the most attractive guys in all of Hogwarts! I mean, how many times a week do you two get asked out? Hmm?"

This comment seemed to cheer James up considerably. "Of course we're the most attractive! So don't you worry, Padfoot, Evans will come around. And you'll get a boyfriend just as soon as all these gay wizards come out of the cupboard, like Moony said, we're hot!"

"I never said that," Remus said picking at his eggs.

***

The feast was about to start and everyone in the castle was full of excitement for Halloween. That is, except for the four Gryffindor 6th year boys. These marauders were excited about something else completely.

"Okay, Wormtail, shrink," James commanded holding out his invisibility cloak. At one point in time it had been able to drape over all four of them, but lately, even covering two of the large boys was a feat. Therefore, Peter Pettigrew would become small enough to fit in one of the other boys' pockets.

Remus had already left with Madam Pomfrey, so that was one more body they didn't have to worry about. Of course, Remus wouldn't have had to hide anyways. He had special permission to be out tonight.

"Ouch! Padfoot! That was my foot you just violated!" James hissed as they snuck after Remus, out the front doors of the castle.

"Oh stop being dramatic," Sirius groaned under his breath. A squeak came from his pocket, but the two human-shaped boys just rolled their eyes at Wormtail's grumblings.

From then on they were silent as they crossed the sunset lit grounds. They knew that these empty grounds would most likely be full of 6th and 7th years after the feast as it was too beautiful a night to stay cooped up in dorm rooms. Of course, they hadn't quite bothered to work out what that would mean for their nighttime plans.

"Kay, Wormy," Sirius said pulling his friend out of his pocket and placing him gently on the ground. "Do your thing."

The rat darted across the grass and, without the tree even bothering to swing its branches dangerously at them, bounced off the knot at the base of its trunk. The tree froze; Sirius 'whooped; James elbowed him and Sirius shut up. They then followed Peter through the tunnel that led to the Shrieking Shack.

Remus was standing there alone, for Madam Pomfrey had just left him. He pulled off his clothes as to not rip them when he changed and folded them neatly in the top drawer of a beaten up dresser. Then, extremely cold, he sat on the ripped up couch. He thought back to when Dumbledore had first shown him the place. It had been clean and new, albeit not fancy, with a soft sofa and hard wood floors. At the time he had chagrinned at Dumbledore's mistake. He knew that the entire place would be ruined come morning. When he told Dumbledore this however, Dumbledore had just smiled and said that at least it made a nice first impression. This was one of the first moments that Remus had noticed how crazy Dumbledore truly was.

Now, as he sat, naked on the couch he waited for his friends to join him or for the moon to rise. It might be awkward when his friends joined him waiting, but at least he wouldn't be so alone. It would be almost like being part of a pack.

"Hey there, Moony!" Peter exclaimed appearing before Remus. "How ya doin'?

"Oh, Wormtail," Remus responded tiredly. "I hadn't seen you come in. You sneaky little rat!"

Wormtail laughed and sat down on the other side of the couch. It was nice, how Remus could be completely naked and covered in scars and his fellow marauders would say nothing of it. Every once in a while, they had even taken to hanging out in the dormitory completely starkers just so that Remus would never be embarrassed on a full moon.

"Where are the others?" He asked looking around.

"We are here, mate," James announced pulling the invisibility cloak off of himself and Sirius. "Let the festivities begin!"

"Hi, Moony." It was Sirius who was, Remus noticed, staring at his naked body quite openly. At Remus's embarrassed questioning look he responded quickly. "New scars."

Sirius then proceeded to –not very subtly— link his fingers in front of his crotch as if to hide something. Remus smirked knowingly and Sirius determinedly looked away. James and Wormtail were ridiculously oblivious, of course.

"So, what's the plan for tonight?" Peter asked his friends, his nose still slightly twitchy as he had just been a rat.

"I vote forbidden forest if anything," Remus insisted. "It's Halloween and I don't want anything to happen since there will be a lot of people out tonight..."

"Well, yeah, of course," Sirius nodded vigorously. "We would never let anything happen to you, Remy."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"Good chap!" James said patting Remus condescendingly on the top of his sandy haired head. Remus scowled but James took no notice. "He's not worried, Padfoot. Why would you be?"

Both Remus and Sirius was about to say something smart in response to James, but before they could Remus started to convulse.

Remus fell off the couch and started to twitch horribly on the floor as if having a seizure. The other boys jumped up and changed swiftly into their animal counterparts. They watched, horrified as ever as Remus cried out in agony. Sirius started to whimper, hating seeing his sometimes-lover in pain. James had to stand in front of him in order to keep him away from reaching out to Remus as his form shifted. He sprouted hair all over his face and his face distorted into something canine. Then, in one last thrash of pain, he was the wolf.

He howled loudly and stretched his neck up towards where he knew the moon would be were there no ceiling to block his view. Padfoot howled as well, in loyalty and in excitement.

Every sense was clear to the four of them. The smell of dust and dirt layered on the floor of the shrieking shack, the sound of crickets and excited humans outside on the grounds, the detailed way in which they looked at each other: it was all as much as they could stand.

***

Maia was happy; no… that wasn't it. Maia was ecstatic.

She and Kingsley were taking a lovely midnight walk on Halloween under a beautiful full moon and next to the perfectly reflective and smooth surface of the lake. Maia, always loving any obscure excuse to dress up, had charmed butterfly wings to her back and had completely decorated her face with makeup primarily glitter. Kingsley, who would use any excuse to _not_ dress up but who hadn't wanted to hurt Maia's feelings, had put on a fake mustache and had transfigured his owl into a raven for the night.

"You know, Kingsley," Maia said, taking his hand in hers. "I don't think the muggle writer Edward something Po would've ever gone on a midnight walk with a lovely fairy like me."

Kingsley grinned at the silly girl and said, "It's Edgar Allen Poe, love, and no, probably not. He couldn't have been so depressed if he had a girl like you with him. Of course, I would guess that he went on quite a few midnight walks."

"What's the point of a midnight walk if you aren't with somebody who takes your breath away?" Maia asked innocently. Kingsley sighed and stopped walking.

"I have no idea, love."

Maia didn't say anything but instead just looked into Kingsley's dark eyes. She took a step toward him, intertwining her small, cold fingers with his large warm ones.

"I take your breath away?" Kingsley asked her leaning down to her face. His breath was warm and Maia stood transfixed. But she forced herself to say something.

"Yeah." Maia knew that this wasn't the wittiest thing she had ever said. She also knew that it wasn't even a complete sentence. But what she did know was that it was hard to think when she was so close to this dark, sexy, brilliant Ravenclaw.

Then he leaned in to kiss her. She happily kissed him back.

It would've been perfect, except for two things. One, was that he was wearing that ridiculous fake mustache and it was itchy and annoying, and two was that there was extremely loud howling coming from the edge of the forbidden forest.

Maia pulled away and Kingsley frowned.

"If it's the mustache, I assure you that it was originally for your benefit," He said with a half smile and he pulled off the ridiculous thing.

Maia grinned at him and draped her arms around his neck and stood up on tiptoes. Kingsley's confident grin was back in place as he leaned down again to taste Maia.

Then the howling came back and Maia jumped, alarmed at its close proximity to them. Kingsley looked up as well this time. Seeing three large shadows coming out of the forest he grabbed Maia and hid her behind himself at the same time as they both drew their wands. His Ravenclaw curiosity stopped him from running, but he was torn between getting Maia away from danger and discovering the threat. Maia was peeking out from his side in a matching curiosity.

"Lumos," Kingsley whispered and the figures were lit up. A stag stood closest, blocking the others from coming any nearer. The two teenagers squinted at it and to their bemusement they saw a rat resting on top of its head, right between huge antlers. After barely registering this odd sight, they identified the two figures behind the stag. Of the two large dogs, one was black and looked like a well groomed stray. The other, Maia and Kingsley both instantly recognized as a werewolf.

Maia drew in her breath, stifling a scream as Kingsley shot out a spell that Maia didn't recognize towards the four beasts and pulled her away across the grounds to the safety of the castle.

---

[A/N: So... that's that. We'd love to hear from you. Also, I might be writing a slashy bit of extra M goodness oneshot for what happens right before breakfast. So, keep a lookout for it if you like that stuff. :D]


	12. Aftermath

[A/N: So so so sorry for the delay! I'm in med school and never see my sister so it's hard to have time to plan with her and then to write. We won't make you wait so long again. Love to Isabella Star, my one reviewer for chapter 11. I know more people are reading on my sister's account, but I would love it if anyone is reading here to review.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

**Aftermath**

_I was running in circles,  
I hurt myself,  
Just to find my purpose._

_Everything was so worthless,  
I didn't deserve this,  
But to me you were perfect._

_I'd give it all just to have, have your eternity.  
Cause it's all that assures me.  
It's worth all that hurts me._

_Circles- Hollywood Undead_

Sirius Black lounged in the most coveted chair in the common room. It was his right as an upper classman to sit in this chair, but now was one of the only times when it was actually filled by one. Younger students had the tendency to steal good seats whenever they could, but today, the common room was empty save for him.

So, he was savoring this mindless moment. As much as he loved being active, he was still extremely tired from the full moon two nights ago. His calm solitude was also due to the lovely ways of block schedules giving him hours off. This was, of course one of the only times he wasn't with the other marauders. He usually hated it, but today, he enjoyed this quiet.

"Sirius Black!" A female voice called from across the room. He looked up to see a smug looking Maia Regarne stalking across the room.

"I suppose alone time is over for today, then," Sirius muttered, smiling. He didn't really mind, seeing that if he'd spent about 10 more seconds alone he probably would've gotten reckless.

"I know about Remus," Maia stated plopping down on the large sofa across from the black haired boy.

"What? Remus isn't a werewolf! Why would you say that?!" Sirius blurted quickly in a panic.

"What? Of course Remus isn't…" Maia gave him an odd look, but shrugged it off. "Whatever. You are a strange boy, Sirius."

"Strange man!" He argued, sticking out his tongue.

"Okay. Man then. That's not important," Maia said quickly. Sirius started to protest that his manhood was very important but Maia cut him off.

"You and Remus: It's cool, I'm a fan. It's actually an idea I've adored privately forever. Glad to see you've seen the bright Remus-y light! I'm just confused; how do you keep it from James and Peter?" Maia asked. Without waiting for an answer she continued. "And how do you ever get time alone? Dorm situations are difficult like that. If you ever need it, I know a place."

"Uh…" Sirius gaped at the fast talking girl. She paid no attention and kept a stream of constant questions and suggesting going.

"How long have you been together? Is Remus gay? I know Allie was totally crushed about it all, and I was so confused because she wouldn't explain. But I got it; gaydar and all that, not to mention an uncanny ability to notice _obvious_ sexual tension between my friends. Not that I'm all-knowing! Note how I _did_ say _obvious_ sexual tension."

"Maia…" Sirius was wincing and his eyes darted around the thankfully empty common room. Maia waved him away and kept talking.

"I sure hope that you weren't involved before Remus and Allie broke up. She _is _my best friend and I _would _have to slap you for stealing her boyfriend. I might have to throw in some insults too. I'm sure you understand."

"Maia!" Sirius practically shouted. "Stop talking!"

The girl was immediately hushed. There were a few moments of silenced before Sirius sighed.

"Me and Remus aren't together." Maia opened her mouth, but it was Sirius's turn to cut her off this time.

"At least, I don't think we are… Maybe we are… I don't know," Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose in a very Remus-like way. "I hope we are."

"Explain," Maia said, her face blank.

"Well… we've hooked up." Maia looked at him questioningly. "That's none of your business, Maia!" The girl bit her lip guiltily, silently telling Sirius to continue. He did. "I… care about him. So much. But he gives me mixed signals. It's so confusing."

"Did you ever just, you know, ask him about it?" Maia asked gently.

"Well… not in so many words. I don't want to rush him, or pressure him," Sirius looked at her for a moment and his eyes widened. "Do you think that would work?"

"Would what work?" Maia asked, confused.

"Asking him!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Oh, well, yes," Maia smiled, nodding happily. "I don't think it would hurt. You don't have to pressure him, you can just ask."

"I can?" Sirius bounced a little in his chair. He flipped back his well groomed hair gracefully and ran his fingers along the chair as he thought. Short hair flopped around as Maia nodded her head vigorously.

The two Gryffindors shared smiles and silence for a bit longer. It's strange, how when you add two usually talkative people together, how they can sometimes feel completely comfortable without saying a word. But, Sirius did have one last thing to say.

"I lied, Maia. I don't just really care about Remus. I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him."

***

"You're finally up, I see," a cold voice sounded from the opposite side of the empty common room as James came down the stairs on the first of November. Kristi stood up, arms folded across her chest, and faced her boyfriend with narrowed eyes.

"I've been up," James answered, eyebrows raised in mild shock at her cool demeanor. He crossed the common room to where his girlfriend was standing near the fireplace.

"You didn't come find me." Kristi's voice was accusing, "It's nearly dinner time and I haven't heard from you all day. You blew me off yesterday and you have been blowing me off all day today."

"I most certainly did not blow you off yesterday," James said, "I was spending the night with the Marauders."

"You didn't spend Halloween night with me," she pouted.

"I never said I was going to!" James exclaimed, "I told you weeks ago that Halloween was going to be a guy's night this year."

"So, you like your guy friends more than me?" Kristi questioned.

"What? No!" James ran his hand through his hair in frustration, "Where did you come up with that idea?"

"Your friend Maia got a date last night. With Kinsley Shacklebolt."

"So?"

"So? So?" Kristi's voice rose half an octave, "So? Why does she get a date and not me?"

"I told you," James said, struggling to keep his voice level, "I had plans with the boys last night. You've known about that for weeks."

"So, why didn't you come find me today?"

"I was sleeping," James answered, "I didn't get much sleep last night, so I slept in and then worked on homework."

"You're lying to me," Kristi said pointedly.

"What, in Merlin's name, would I be lying to you about?"

"You never do homework! And I know why you didn't get any sleep last night!" Kristi was practically yelling by now.

"Kristi," James said, eyes wide, as he reached out to put his hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" She shrieked, shrugging away from him. James pulled back his hand.

"What's going on?" Another voice sounded from the stairs leading up to the girls' dormitory. James turned to see Heather standing at the bottom of the stairs looking just as confused as he felt.

"James cheated on me!" Kristi yelled.

"What?" Heather asked, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as she looked from Kristi to James. James turned back to Kristi, mouth agape.

"I did not!" James retorted, unable to keep his voice steady any longer. He turned again to Heather, "I did _not_ cheat on her, Heather."

"Why do you think he cheated on you, Kristi?" Heather asked her friend.

"He didn't take me out last night! He said he didn't get much sleep! He was with the boys! I know he's lying to me!"

"I don't think he is," Heather said slowly, "Peter was with the boys last night as well."

"Then he's cheating on you as well!" Kristi screamed. People on their way down from their dormitories to dinner had begun to accumulate in the stairwells.

"Peter is _not_ cheating on me, Kristi. And I highly doubt that James is cheating on you."

"I'm not!" James exclaimed again, "What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to tell me the truth," Kristi said, her voice suddenly cool and quiet once again.

"I have," James answered, "I was with the guys last night. I was doing homework and sleeping today. I did _not_ cheat on you. And Peter has _never_ cheated on Heather."

"This isn't going to work," Kristi said, "If you can't be honest with me, this is never going to work."

"But I am being honest with you, Kristi!"

"James Potter, you make me sick. We're over." Kristi turned and stalked off towards the girls' staircase, pushing people aside as she marched up the staircase. People were staring in silence at the scene that had just unfolded.

"There is nothing to see here," another voice sounded through the hush as Sirius and Peter made their way through the crowd on the boys' staircase to where James stood, staring after Kristi, "Go on your merry ways to dinner or wherever you lot were going on this fine November evening." Peter and Sirius each took James by an arm and pulled him back to where they'd come from.

"_You make me sick." _Kristi's words rang through James' mind on repeat. But her voice mixed with another voice he'd heard say the exact same words, not six months ago.

***

The dorm was unusually quiet that night. Remus was attempting to read a book about dueling, but he could not stop glancing over at Sirius, who was lying sprawled on his bed licking and sucking a bright red lollipop. He would've been doing a lot more than staring, if only the room wasn't also occupied by James and Peter.

Peter was silently eating pumpkin pasties and writing some sort of letter and James was… well, it was hard for Remus to tell exactly what he was doing. It was extremely out of character and after much consideration, Remus concluded that he was brooding.

"James," he said, breaking the silence. 'Why are you brooding?"

"Kristie dumped me," James answered glaring out the dorm window.

"I thought you were getting sick of her anyways?" Peter asked through a mouthful of pumpkin pasties.

"Hardly the point, Wormtail!" James growled.

"Yeah, the point," Sirius said, twirling his lollipop around in his fingers. "Is that James was rejected. Again."

James groaned and banged his head against the windowsill. "Not to mention that now the entire female population of Hogwarts thinks I'm a cheating, lying asshole! I bet Lily heard and hates me even more."

"I'm not sure if that's possible, mate," Sirius chimed.

"Not helpful, Padfoot!" James moaned. Sirius chagrined and looked to his wolfy-friend for help. Remus always knew what to say in these sorts of situations, as Sirius knew from many a blow-up on his part.

"What I'm sure Sirius was trying to say is that Lily is too smart to believe that you would cheat on any girl," Remus mended quickly. Peter nodded reassuringly and threw in a "Yeah"!

James smiled half-heartedly at them and leaned his face back against the fogging window. Silence fell upon the room once more. Peter could hardly stand the tension, so he blurted out the first thing he could think of.

"We should prank Kristi!" The other three marauders looked at him silently. He continued nervously. "I mean, that'll get our spirits up, right? She deserves it, the drama queen, rumor-spreading, butt-face!"

"Butt-face? Really?" Remus raised an eyebrow, giving up on reading his book.

"I agree with Peter," Sirius said. "She's a real butt-face. I would go so far as to call her a poopie-butt."

"So…" Peter spoke as if he was talking to little kids. "We should prank her! Like the one we did to Snivilus that last time; that was bloody brilliant--"

"NO!" James stood up quickly, shaking in rage. He glared around at the rest of them in a way that made Sirius raise his eyebrows and Peter look like he was going to pee his pants. "That wasn't brilliant. It was completely immature and cruel. I can't believe you guys… Lily…"

James trailed off and stormed out of the room leaving his three completely bemused friends feeling slightly abashed.

"Should we go after him?" Peter asked in a timid and concerned voice.

"No… I don't think so," Sirius said slowly. "I think he needs to be alone right now."

"Okay, well," Peter stood up brushing crumbs off his lap. "I feel awkward now. I'm going to go find Heather. Bye, guys."

"Later, Wormtail," Remus nodded.

"Toodles," Sirius waved his lollipop in the air. "Have fun with little Miss Heather!"

Peter left and Sirius and Remus were alone.

Sirius rolled onto his side and watched Remus stare at the dormitory door. This was the time to ask him what was going on. This was the perfect time to follow Maia's advice and just talk. How many conversations had Sirius had with Remus? So many easy conversations, conversations about classes and pranks, confrontations about Remus being a werewolf, Sirius coming out as gay, talks about their families… Sirius had never thought so much about a conversation with Remus as he did now. It had always been straight forward and easy, but now, it was a whole different playing field. Sirius considered many different ways to open the discussion, but instead of actually saying any of these things, he just stared at Remus. He stared at Remus who was staring at nothing, and who now started to smirk slightly.

It was a very sexy smirk, Sirius decided. It was a smirk that he just wanted to envelope in his own lips and make melt away in a sigh of pleasure.

"Did you want something, Padfoot?" Remus inquired, not looking at the other boy who was nearly drooling.

"Uh…" Sirius' voice broke in a very embarrassing way. He coughed trying to cover it up and Remus turned to look right at him. Sirius continued to cough until his eyes watered while Remus bit back laughter.

"You alright, mate?" Remus asked, his laughter successfully muted.

"Yeah," Sirius said swallowing and wiping his teary eyes. "Just dandy."

"Good to hear it."

Silence.

"So, did you want something? You were staring."

Sirius resisted the urge to growl "You know exactly what I want, sexy" and instead blurted out.

"What are we doing?"

"Well… you were just coughing and now I'm asking you what—"

"No. I mean… what am I to you?"

"You're Sirius Black. One of my best mates." Remus also looked nervous now. He rolled up to face Sirius with his legs dangling off the edge of his bed.

"Is that all?" Sirius looked utterly crushed and guilt flooded through Remus.

"No. I'm sorry, Sirius. Of course that's not all…" Remus searched for words to express exactly what Sirius was to him but could find nothing.

"Well, um," Sirius looked down at his lap. "I'm kind of in love with you…"

Remus was silent as he stood up and crossed to Sirius' bed and sat down. Then he leaned close and whispered, "I… yeah." Sirius turned his face so that their noses were nearly touching and looked at him questioningly. Remus didn't give him a chance to say more and instead lured him into a gentle and passionate kiss.

Sirius pulled Remus back to lie on top of him. Remus responded by gently biting Sirius' lower lip and trailing kisses down Sirius' neck. A soft sigh escaped Sirius' lips and he gripped Remus' hair with his shaking fingers.

But before he lost himself completely, he pulled back realizing that everything still wasn't decided and clear cut.

"Wait… Remus," Sirius mumbled. Remus mumbled something incomprehensible as he started to suck on Sirius' earlobe.

"Remus!" Sirius gently pushed Remus away despite his protests. "What are we doing? Are we going out? Are you my boyfriend? Are you even gay? Or are you bi-? Why aren't you being all logical and Remusy?"

"Sirius, you make me feel good," Remus whispered looking directly into those deep grey eyes. "When I'm with you I don't have to think about anything but you. I _love_ being with you and I only want to be with _you_. Isn't that good enough?"

Sirius responded by kissing him roughly. It was definitely good enough. For now.

[a/n: review! Sorry for the shortness of the chapter. Love!]


	13. Fear and Comfort

[A/N: So so so sorry for never updating! This has a lot more Lily/James in it and I love that. pre-med makes it super hard to update frequently, so feel free to bug me. Holidays are coming up though, so updates should be more frequent. Thanks to my reviewers! Although I'm surprised by how few there are. My cowriter and sister has about 3 times as many as me.

Disclaimer: We are not JK Rowling unless she is a pre-med student and also her own sister as a high school student. Ntm American. And not incredibly genius.]

Fear and Comfort

_The hour has begun  
Your eyes have now opened_

_To a world where madness craves  
To a world where hopes enslaved  
Oh, Ill tremble for my love always_

_Your windows, opened wide  
Your innocence takes flight_

_-Tremble for my Beloved by Collective Soul_

For the first time that he could remember, James Potter was studying of his own accord in the library. When he'd announced to the dormitory that he was going to go to the library, the resulting silence of his friends couldn't have spoken louder.

"You're doing _what_?" Remus had asked after a few speechless moments.

"I'm going to the library," James had replied.

"The library?" Peter asked, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.

"That is generally where one goes if he wishes to study," James answered.

"Not _Mauraders,_" Sirius had exclaimed, then as an afterthought, "Well, Moony does, but he's _Moony_."

"Who says I can't go to the library?" James had asked defiantly as he slung his book bag over his shoulder.

"You never go to the library! You don't need to!" Sirius had argued, "You and me? We're smart enough to score at the top of the class without that stuffy place. Padfoot and Prongs are _not_ the library type."

"Well," James had said slowly, "I thought I'd try something new and I really have to get this potions essay right. My parents are starting to ride on me about 'growing up' and 'taking some initiation in my own future.' I'll see you all at dinner."

"If you last that long," Peter had sniggered as James left the room.

Now, however, James seriously doubted his ability to stay in the library for more than half an hour. He had taken out his books, quill, and parchment and spread them across the table. He had found the chapters he needed to read to gather information for the essay on Draught of the Living Dead. But he really had no idea where to start. Should he read the chapter first? Or look at the questions asked in the assignment and try to find the answers by skimming?

"How have I managed five and a half years of school without ever knowing how to go about starting an essay?" James said to himself as he stared at the blank piece of parchment in front of him.

"You've never started an essay on your own before," a voice sounded from above him. James pushed the hair out of his face and looked up into the green eyes of Lily Evans.

"I've written plenty of essays!" James countered, indignation spreading throughout him at the sight of her growing smirk. As always, her beauty stunned him, but now, instead of being charmed, he was annoyed.

"Well, yes," the red head answered, "But Remus usually tells you where to begin. Or what to write. Or where to find the information."

"How do you know that?"

"Sirius mentioned it to Maia once. She told me." Lily crossed her arms and stared into his hazel eyes, a calculating expression on her face.

"What?" James asked, looking away.

"I just am slightly amused that you, James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, Most Popular Boy at Hogwarts, Top of the Class Potter, don't know how to start an essay."

"Evans," James sighed, "Look, I'm trying to write this essay. Could you please leave me alone to think?" Lily blinked. What was going on with Potter? He never spoke to her this way. He was always trying to court her, to get her attention with jokes. He followed her around like a sick puppy, half the time. Never had he told her to go away, least of all so that he could study.

"Sorry," Lily said, raising her eyebrows, "I was just teasing." His eyes softened and he smiled.

"No, I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't mean to snap at you. I just don't know how to do this."

"You're apologizing _and_ admitting that you don't know how to do something?" Lily laughed, "I never thought I'd see the day!" James looked at her over his glasses, studying her expression.

"What?" she asked.

"Why do you always do that?" James replied with a question, "Why do you think so lowly of me?"

"Because you're an arrogant prat," she answered without thinking. Lily immediately regretted her words, however, when James' winced.

"I have to work on this, Lily," he said, resigned. He turned away from her towards his open book and began to read. Lily didn't leave. Instead, she watched him for a moment. He really didn't look that abnormal studying, she thought, if she pretended it wasn't James. The glasses made him look more studious and the way he brushed the hair out of his face was different than usual. He wasn't ruffling it out of arrogance, but out of practicality. Lily bit her lip, not sure if she would regret what she was about to do or not.

"Hey, Potter?" She asked, trying to force casualness into her voice.

"Yes, Evans?" he answered, not looking up.

"Would you like some help?" James started and turned to stare at her. She continued, "I won't do it for you, but, you know, I could help you get started and give you some pointers. I'm not half bad at Potions, you know."

"No," James answered slowly, "You're the best in the class."

"Well, almost," Lily blushed, thinking of Severus. The thought made her stomach hurt, but the pain disappeared as soon as James smiled brightly at her.

"And you wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all," Lily answered, surprised to find that she was not lying. She pulled out a chair and sat down next to him, "and I promise I won't tell anybody that James Potter was actually studying."

***

The enchanted ceiling of the Great Hall was covered in clouds the next morning as James, Sirius, Remus and Peter trudged down from their dormitory for breakfast. Each boy's shoulders were slightly slumped as their feet dragged across the stone floor, but there were smiles on each face. It was a sleepy sort of satisfaction.

"Oi! Gryffs!" Josh and Kingsley waved from their seats at the Ravenclaw table. Several girls from each house waved and giggled up at the famous and infamous four. James and Sirius realized that they were on stage, as always. Sirius casually, yet gracefully, flipped his hair, James ruffled up his black mess of hair and all four of them fixed their posture. James and Sirius shared the look that clearly said: _"Being loved by nearly everyone is hard work."_

Only Remus really noticed the glares sent their way by Slytherin and a fare few others. He never understood how his brothers could not notice these glares. He caught himself in thought. _Brothers. That was what he had referred to his fellow marauders as. But… did that apply to Sirius as well? Was he committing Marauder incest?_ He shuddered. _No. They were his family, but not necessarily brothers. Prongs and Wormtail can be my brothers, but Sirius… he's more like a partner. Husbands and wives are considered family, right? _

Remus continued to ponder as the Marauders sat down in their usual place at the Gryffindor table. Heather scooted over next to Peter with a good morning kiss. Helen grabbed her friend Rachel and the two of them sat across from Peter.

" Good morning, sweethearts," Sirius greeted the 3rd year girls. "How are you, this fine morning?"

"Sirius! It's raining!" Helen squealed. "How is that fine?"

"Well, we have the love of our friends and kin along with sweet lovers trysts to make us feel rather fine!" Sirius explained. The younger girls looked at him as though he was crazy.

"What are you talking about?" James asked, joining their conversation after shoving pancakes into his mouth. "I was not aware that our very own Padfoot was having any exciting rendezvous! Who is the lucky guy?"

"Guy?" Helen muttered, looking downcast.

"OUCH!" Sirius grunted as Remus stepped on his foot, hard. "I mean. No rendezvous for me. Sadly celibate."

Sirius gave Remus a look of '_What was that for?_' but Remus was blushing down at his oatmeal making Sirius remember again how secretive Remus could be.

The slightly awkward silence was thankfully interrupted as owls swooped in with mail. A stately great horned owl swooped down to James. After dropping the _Profit_ and a letter into James's lap, the beautiful owl perched onto James's right shoulder.

"Nuntia!" Sirius exclaimed looking at the Potter's oldest owl. Nuntia ruffled her feathers and nipped playfully at James's ear. "I love this bird!"

"Well, we all knew you were into bestiality, Sirius. But really, must you flaunt you're disturbing fetishes?" Peter smirked. Remus looked up from his oatmeal to share a good laugh at Sirius's expense but was quickly distracted by the paleness of James's lightly freckled face. Sirius and Peter also quieted, concerned by James's odd expression.

"What's up, Prongs?" Sirius asked. James didn't answer but instead shoved the _Profit_ at his friends while rereading the letter in his hands. The three boys leaned together to see the article that must have affected James.

_Attack on Wizarding Family_

_Last night, Monday, November 23, a pureblood family was attacked just outside of Oxford. A man, woman and two children, ages 7 and 11 were found dead by the 'Avada Kadavra' curse this morning. The bodies were identified as those of a Muggle Relations supervisor, Mrs. Anne Potter, her husband, Henry Potter and their children Juliet and Samson Potter. The formation of a green skull with a snake protruding from its mouth was above their cottage. Officials believe this was an attack from the secretive political group, commonly known as the Death Eaters. This organization is lead by a man whose name shall not be announced here for the health and safety of our editors and writers. This group, the "Death Eaters" has committed approx. 15 violent hate crimes against muggles and 11 confirmed murders of muggleborn witches and wizards. What stands out most about these recent murders is that Samson Potter is from the well-known Potter family. This family has been pureblood for many generations and so the only reasonable motive behind these murders would be that they are active in the Muggle Acceptance Cause… (For more information on the funerals and lives of the deceased see OBITUARY) (For more information on Death Eaters, see page A3) _

Remus, Sirius and Peter all looked up to stare at James. He had turned a shade of pale yellow and his unfocused eyes were wide in shock. The letter he had been reading fell to the table, displaying that it was from his parents, about how the funeral had been hasty and that they didn't want to pull James out of school.

"James?" Sirius asked. "Prongs, mate, are you… okay?"

James didn't answer but just kept staring ahead. Sirius looked at the other two for guidance on what to do. Peter was twitching and looking at all of his friends in turn. Remus took a breath in like he was about to say something, but then couldn't find the words.

"Of course he's not okay you idiots!" Lily snarled as she walked up behind him. She looked down at James, who looked like he was about to be sick. "We need to get him to the hospital wing."

Remus nodded and stood up beside the red haired girl, quickly followed by Sirius and Peter. James's arm was stiff a Sirius grabbed it to pull him up. Nobody commented as Lily linked her arm through James's and spoke softly.

"You'll be okay. I promise. James, come with us." Her eyes started to water, but she sniffed and pulled him and the rest of the marauders out of the Great Hall. Before they got more than a few paces away from the table, however, Helen called Peter's name. He looked at her to see that she was close to tears, so he nodded to his friends and they left the hall without him.

"What's wrong, sweetie?" Peter asked as he sat down next to his little sister. She looked down at her half-eaten breakfast and then to her side at her forgotten best friend, Rachel. "Hey, Rach, do you mind giving me a second? I'll come join you and the girls in a bit."

Rachel nodded wordlessly and left Helen and Peter alone.

The two Petegrews sat in silence for a bit, Peter waiting for Helen to say what was up and Helen trying to calm her breath.

"I'm just…" She began but her voice choked and she had to take a few moments to regain her breath. "I'm scared."

Peter's brow furrowed and he wrapped his arm around his sister's tiny frame. She leaned against his shoulder and sighed.

"Don't be scared," Peter whispered. "I'll take care of you. I promise. You and Mom will be just fine. There is no reason that you wouldn't be. Dad's position keeps us safe. We're safe."

"But… we never would've thought that the Potters wouldn't be safe," Helen argued. "And I hate Dad. It's people like him that did this to the Potters."

"Helen," Peter said, looking into his little sister's light blue eyes. "Have I ever broken a promise to you? I promise to keep you safe. And even though I would've never chosen for Dad to do what he did, he has his reasons. At least we know that he won't get hurt."

"I just…" Helen sighed. "I don't like this. I know it won't be long until somebody we know gets hurt… or killed."

"I'm not going to pretend that that's not true. People we care about will get hurt. It's a war and we are middle of it. Just don't let it ruin your childhood. Keep your head down and it'll be over soon and we'll be okay. I promise." Helen nodded and stood up, out of Peter's arms.

"Well, I'm going to go over to my friends. Thanks Peter." A weak smile spread across her face and Peter was pleased to see that she still had a child's face when she smiled.

"Yeah, yeah," Peter rolled his eyes and ruffled her hair. She whined and fixed her straight hair back to how it had been. As she walked away, Peter smiled and went back to eating his eggs; And his Danish; and his hash browns.

***

"Alright, men!" James stalked into the dorm with his head held high. His eyes were slightly puffy, but his determined grin nearly hid the sorrow in them. "I do believe we have been slightly negligent of a certain plan of ours."

After a second of mystified staring, the other boys grinned and Peter exclaimed "The Map! Yeah, that was such a brilliant idea Prongs."

"That was also my idea!" Sirius reminded him indignantly. Peter nodded and assured Sirius that he was right and that he was brilliant. Sirius soaked it up like a sponge.

With much idle chit-chat, the four boys made it to the room of requirement. After pacing back and forth three times, they entered a room full of books and charts and maps, all about Hogwarts.

"This room never fails to astound me," Moony said running his fingers across rows and rows of books. Sirius grinned and also went over to pretend to admire the books, while really just basking in Remus's sent.

"You smell amazing," He whispered pretending to lean near to Remus to look at an awkwardly placed book.

"You dog," Remus whispered back, a blush creeping up his neck. James took that opportune moment to squeeze in between them and start talking rapidly.

Hours later, somewhere around midnight, the marauders decided to take the rest of the night off. They did have classes tomorrow after all.

"Our sweet, warm beds await us!" James exclaimed as the four of them filed out of the Room of Requirements.

"Thank god," Remus said with a yawn. "I'm all sleepy."

"I bet," Peter nodded. "When is the full moon this month?"

"You really don't have them memorized, Wormtail?" Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Not everyone is as crazy obsessive as you are, Padfoot!" Peter defended himself, pleased to note that Sirius looked slightly embarrassed.

"Anyways, Pete," Remus continued kindly. "No, the full moon isn't for a couple of weeks yet. No wolfing around for me. I guess it's just been a long day."

James went on to agree as the four of them snuck through the hallways, back to their dorm.

***

Kingsley Shacklebolt was heading to bed after walking Maia to the Gryffindor common room when he heard footsteps and voices. Worrying that it was a teacher, or worse, Filch, he jumped behind a large statue to hide.

"Not everyone is crazy obsessive as you are, Padfoot!"

Upon hearing the familiar voices of the Marauders, he relaxed. Not for the first time, he wondered where their ridiculous nicknames had come from. He was just about to step out from the statue when he heard Remus say the strangest thing.

"No, the full moon isn't for a couple of weeks yet. No wolfing around for me."

Kingsley froze until the voices drifted away. His mind leapt into overdrive for a few seconds and he realized that his Maia was sleeping just a common room away from a werewolf. At that point only one thought was able to go through his mind.

He needed to speak to Maia.

[A/N: Poll! How much do you hate us for never updating? Unless... I don't really wanna know that. *hides behind laptop* How about... What do you think is going to happen with Kingsley? Eek! Or just a poll of: Who is reading this? I wanna hear from ya!]


	14. Short days, many letters

Author's Note: Okay... The original plan was to get this up before the holidays... But... hopefully this will extend your holiday cheer a bit? Again, sorry for the lengthy waits between updates. If any of you are still reading, thanks! I'm on holiday right now, so hopefully my sister (flameintheflood) and I will be able to get 2 more chapters up before I go back to school on the 24th. Thanks for the patience and I hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: Neither my sister nor I received the rights to Harry Potter for Christmas. They all still belong to JKR.

**Chapter 14**

"Well, I guess this is goodbye, for now," Allie said as the Hogwarts Express came to a stop at King's Cross station.

"No! Don't say that, Allie," Kate exclaimed.

"She's right, it breaks my heart!" Maia added.

"It's only two weeks," Lily said teasingly. But, then a frown formed on her face as she looked out the window and across the station at a small group of muggles, "Two _long_ weeks with _Petunia_. What am I going to do?"

"Oh, sweetie," Allie said, her face falling, "It will be okay. Before you know it we'll be back at school."

"Maybe we can get together," Kate suggested, "You know, the four of us. Even though we share a dormitory, we never get to just hang out!"

"Stupid NEWT levels," Maia grumbled, "They ruin all my good fun."

"NEWT level classes _are _important," Allie protested.

"Yes," Lily consented, "But that doesn't mean that we have to like that they suck all of our time!"

"What?" Allie asked, widening her eyes in mock astonishment, "You mean I'd have a life if it weren't for these classes?"

"Well," Kate smirked, "Maybe you wouldn't." Allie scrunched her nose in agreement and pulled her trunk down from the storage racks. The other three girls followed suit and, casting featherlight charms on their trunks and opened the door to leave their compartment. They were blown backwards, however, as a laughing Sirius and James sprinted past, followed closely by a concerned looking Remus and an out of breath Peter.

"What on Earth?" Lily asked, staring at the four boys. Her friends just shrugged, unable to speak through their laughter. After five and a half years, the Marauders remained a mystery. Lily stared after the four boys as they arrived at a slightly disapproving, but amused, older couple.

"James? Sirius? Do I even want to know?" Harold Potter inquired as the four boys attempted to catch their breath.

"Well, you see…" James began, panting. But Remus cut him off.

"No, Sir," he said, "You probably don't want to know."

"I didn't think so," Harold chuckled, "Half the time I don't want to know what goes through the minds of these two."

"No one does, Sir," Remus replied.

"We're just glad we have you and Peter to keep them in check," Grace Potter said to Remus as she turned to her son. "James, sweetie, is there nothing that you can do about your hair?"

"Nope!" James answered cheerily, "But, you fell in love with Dad because of his hair, I'm still hoping it will work for me."

"Now, son," Harold chuckled again, "I think she fell in love with me despite the Potter hair, not because of it."

"I can still hope," James said with a shrug, to the general amusement of his friends and parents.

"Peter! There you are!" Helen exclaimed, running up to join the group, "Mum sent me to look for you. She wants to head home quickly. Winter, sun setting early, paranoid mother, and all."

"I guess I'll see you guys later, then," Peter said, grabbing his trunk and turning to face his friends one last time.

"Send an owl," James said, "It'll just be the two of us at the Manor."

"What are we?" Grace asked, "House elves? But, yes, Peter, feel free to visit whenever you like."

"Thank you," Peter smiled. Helen pulled on his sleeve, "But I really should get going. Bye Remus, Sirius. Happy Christmas!"

"And a _smashing_ new year!" Sirius yelled after his friend as he turned and walked towards his mother.

"I should probably get going too," Remus said as he spotted his parents, "Have a good Christmas." Remus turned and began to head into the crowd before stopping. He turned his head back to look at the small family. James was animatedly explaining _something_ to his parents, but Sirius was staring forlornly after him.

"Miss you," the grey eyed boy mouthed. Remus nodded and returned the sentiment with a sad half smile. Before he decided if he should throw caution to the wind and run back to kiss the boy full heartedly, a group of chattering first years walked between them, breaking their eye contact and knocking Remus out of the way.

***

_Allie,_

_Hey there! I miss my girls and Hogwarts fun! Thank god I'm 17, right? I'm not trapped without doing magic while my brother laughs at me and tells me it builds character. Oh, that's right, you're still a itty bitty 16 year old. I laugh at you! But don't worry; doing things the muggle way builds character._

_I of course am not lacking character, so it's lucky that I'm old. Anyways, just a few more days until '77. Should be a magical year coming up, what with 7 being such a powerful number. Maybe you and Lily will find love at last. Speaking of finding love, what about that cutie, Josh Mason. Kingsley and Caleb were talking about how he's slowly becoming obsessed. If he sends you an owl over break don't be surprised, I think that Maia gave him your address. In fact, she might have even encouraged him to come visit you. _

_By the way, you should definitely get with him. He's nice and plays quidditch. That is my own personal opinion. Besides, a distraction to the Ravenclaw captain and seeker would be really helpful for Gryffindor's chance at the cup. Be patriotic!_

_-Kate_

***

_Maia,_

_I'm not sure if I should thank you for telling Josh my address or not. On one hand it was totally none of your business and mildly an encroachment on my privacy, but on the other hand, he sent me chocolates and they were really rather tasty. And I guess he _is_ a really hot and intelligent Quidditch player. Speaking of intelligence, me and him are getting together to study a bit this weekend. _

_Okay, fine. I'm thanking you. You are rather an amazing friend._

_-Allie_

***

_Lily,_

_Did they tell you? Josh came over to study today! In fact, he just left. I… I think I might have a problem. He's so smart, but not just in a knowing facts way. He seems to love to learn and to share his learning. He was able to help me with the arithmancy I was having problems with. And the charms. I couldn't help him, unfortunately, because he is a seventh year. But, oh my God. I think I may be starting to like him. I get all nervous thinking about him. And he's so nice to me. Really genuinely nice. And smart. And attractive. We did more than study, obviously. We talked. He told me about Quidditch. He made it so much more interesting than Kate or James ever had. And he played with my siblings and they liked him. I don't want to get my hopes up, but he seems so perfect!_

_Enough rambling about me. How was your Christmas? I hope Petunia hasn't been horrible to you. At least you got to see your parents, which was nice, I'm sure. Only a few more days until we're back at school, so chin up, my love. _

_Your friend always,_

_Allie _

The first few days of the winter holiday at the Canvey Island passed quickly. The days were short and the boys lost count of sunsets over the English Chanel. Sirius and James took advantage of the days without classes to put off holiday homework, sleep unhealthy amounts, eat massive amounts of food, and work on their map. Christmas Eve found them sprawled upon James' bedroom floor, overstuffed from gorging on the feast provided by Tinkey.

"Do you think I'll get any presents?" Sirius pondered aloud, "I've been a naughty, naughty boy this year. Running away, and all."

"I'm sure you will," James muttered sleepily, "I still think my parents like you more than me. So, even if you just get a pile of coal, it will be more than I get."

"Shut it, Prongs," Sirius grunted, "I have never seen parents dote on a child more than they dote on you. You're spoiled, mate. Face it."

"I wonder…" James said slowly, staring up at his ceiling in thought.

"What do you wonder?" Sirius asked, mildly interested.

"I wonder if Lily will ever like me," James answered. Before Sirius could reply, he continued, "I mean, we had a normal conversation a couple weeks ago in the library. And, you know, she was quite kind to me after my cousins…" He trailed off.

"Maybe she just felt bad for you," Sirius suggested.

"I'm being serious!"

"No, that's-"

"Don't. Don't even go there." James stood up abruptly and turned towards the window. His eyes stung and he swallowed hard. True, he hadn't known his father's brother and family very well. They were, as he liked to say, 'Christmas and Birthday relatives.' But, that hadn't made their loss any easier. Not only had those that he loved died, but the terrible rising power of Lord Voldemort really started to feel real.

True, over the past few years there had been rumors. James had heard his parents whisper about it when they thought he wasn't around. However, until the death of his cousins, James hadn't realised how much it would affect him and those he loved. Instead of being a separate cause, it became personal, and much greater. The deaths of his family had brought to light the true, cold, harsh reality of what this man could do. And this, almost as much as losing his aunt, uncle, and cousins, pained him more than he knew was possible.

And Lily… James wondered how everything seemed to come back to Lily for him. But she had been there, she had seen his reaction to the news article and realised how hard it hit him. It had been she that took him to the hospital wing to get a potion for shock. He knew that he ought to give up on her, that she would never love him the way he loved her. But he couldn't bear the thought of living without her in his life, as little as she was in it already. He knew that Sirius laughed at him and that Remus thought he was just a love sick teenager, but he really did care about Lily. The way her green eyes could convey such anger and compassion at once, the distant look that came over her face as she studied, and the pure love and power that she put behind her spell work.

"Prongs?" Sirius voice came from behind him, "I… I didn't mean to cut on your family or Lily. I'm sorry."

"You're not the one who should be sorry," James answered, not turning to look at his friend. "The people that did this should be sorry. The _Death Eaters_." He spat the words out as though they were dirty.

"I know mate," Sirius agreed, "It's just sick, it really is."

"I'm going to do everything I can to stop them, once I'm of age and out of school. My family will not have died in vain. None of the people that have been killed will have died in vain if I can do anything about it. This I swear on my life." Sirius nodded his consent. There were no words, really, or arguments.

"And Lily?" Sirius asked after a few minutes of shared silence, "I thought you'd sworn on your life that you'll make her love you."

"Oh, don't worry," James answered, finally turning to his friend, the cocky smile back on his face, "she'll be in love with me before we graduate."

***

_Lovely Miss Regarne,_

_I absolutely adore Christmas at the Estate, despite the fact that I miss Remus like hell. It's definitely the best Christmas I've had, like, ever. Not that holidays at Grimmauld Place are much comparison. Apparently, the Potter's always have a fancy dinner party on New Year's Eve. Lots of rich old people in dress robes and fancy food and expensive taste , but whatever, me and Prongs can just have our own fun. Too bad Remus also has prior commitments. I would love to… yeah. Oh wells. _

_How's Shacklebolt? He treating you right? If he's not make sure you tell me, I have yet to practice my castration jinxes. Homemade of course. I'm a genius like that. Of course, it was James' idea. He's always thought that Snivilus had a thing for his Lily-love… if we ever found out he was making moves, James wanted to be prepared. Can you sense my rolling eyes? Of course, I was probably close to castrating Allie, back when she and Remus were together. Yes, I am aware that that's physically impossible._

_Anyways, ever feel like coming over, you should. I think some extra company would cheer James up. He's in a bad way: he didn't even want to prank the house elves! Bring Kate and Lily too, if you can. Nothing makes Prongs smile like Lily and quidditch talk._

_Laters,_

_The most incredibly attractive and ingenious Padfoot_

_***_

_Sirius,_

_Hey, how's life at the Estate? Loved the book and chocolates you got me for Christmas. Tell Prongs I thought the wolf statue was amusing, if not mildly frightening. Full moon on New Years. Sounds like quite the party, eh? Notice the sarcasm. What I wouldn't do to just hand out and get drunk around old people like you get to. _

_Life here can be so boring and, well, I miss you. You know, I'm sorry I gave you such a fail goodbye at the station. I wish I could've just kissed you goodbye. Peter and Heather got to make out almost the entire train ride to Kings Cross and I was so jealous. _

_What do you think Prongs and Peter would say if I told them that I'm gay? Or bi… or whatever. Yeah, I'm finally getting comfortable with the idea. I mean, not being with you didn't work and while this almost relationship is fun, I know that I really care about you enough to have it be official. So, then I guess that means I should ask you out, right?_

_Sirius, will you go out with me? I mean, it seems silly to actually go on a date, but will you be my boyfriend? Just, think about it, okay? _

_Yours,_

_Moony_

_***_

_My Moony,_

_Can I just say, DUH! Of course I'll be your boyfriend. Did you really need to ask? You are ridiculous. And by the way, don't worry too much about what you are. In fact, you can be as straight as you want, just so long as your mine. And, you remember what Wormtail and Prongs were like when I came out. I'm sure it'd be similar to that. _

_Love,_

_Padfoot_

_***_

Peter shivered as Helen pulled him into the living room. Their mother was sitting in an old rocking chair next to the little tree that Peter had cut down himself. Just days ago, it had been part of the woods near their house and Peter had known his mother wouldn't be likely to gather the energy or enthusiasm to bring a tree in. He had seen Helen's face fall when she noticed the oddly empty living room when they had come home for the holidays. Nothing could make him chop a tree like the inspiring forlorn face of his baby sister.

The sun was just rising and a small fire was crackling in the fireplace next to their mother. Helen's rosy face was lit by the kind of excitement that only ever comes on Christmas morning.

"Okay!" She squealed sitting down on the floor next to the tree. "Mom! You open your present from us first!"

Peter's mother, Lydia, had an expression similar to Helen's. She looked young for once as she picked up the carefully wrapped present with her name on it.

"Aw, this is beautiful, you two!" She exclaimed unfolding a red apron.

"There's more, Mum!" Helen exclaimed. Lydia continued to open a scarf and hat that Helen had knitted for her. The cheery canary yellow highlighted her glowing face wonderfully.

"Thank you so much, sweetie!" She sighed. "I'll wear them every day!"

Helen giggled and grabbed her own presents. The first was from her friend Rachel, a colorful friendship bracelet. It was store bought with lots of little charms on it. Peter noticed Lydia hide a worried look. He knew it was because she was upset that the most expensive thing her daughter would probably get was from her friend, and not from her family. She smiled brightly though, and Peter stopped worrying.

Helen then opened a few more gifts from friends before getting to the journal that Peter had gotten her, complete with a magical lock. She squealed with delight at the second hand little black shoes that Lydia had found for her.

Peter unwrapped various sweets and prank items from his friends along with a red hat and scarf from Helen and some old Care of Magical Creatures books from his mum. The three of them embraced and Lydia told stories about when they were little and how they would always hopped on her and their father to wake them up, usually before the sun had even risen.

"Daddy used to get so grumpy when we'd wake him up," giggled Helen. "He would growl "Christmas can't come until I've gotten my coffee'. Then Pete would present him with some cold coffee from the day before and he would insist that cold coffee didn't count as real coffee."

Peter chuckled, remembering. Then he remembered what had been bugging him a lot these past few days.

"Mum, did Dad tell you what he was doing today?"

Lydia forced back a concerned expression and muttered, "I'm sure he's enjoying himself with his new wife and co workers."

"You mean those _nasty_ Death Eaters?" Helen spat, all previous Christmas joy falling off her face. "Sounds just _jolly._"

Peter instantly regretted bringing up his father. Lydia's face was moments away from crumbling into tears.

"Sorry…" He murmured. Lydia swallowed and put a brave smile on her face.

"Actually, speaking of your father, he sent us something for Christmas. We almost forgot to open it," Lydia pulled a small emerald bag out from under the tree, along with three envelopes.

"Here, Peter, why don't you open the present," She said, smiling. Peter grabbed the bag and reached inside.

He pulled out dozens of galleons and three bars of expensive chocolates. Lydia's eyes widened and her face brightened incredibly.

"Oh!" She sighed. "That was generous of him. He really does care about you kids, even if he…" She trailed off as her face became red. She hid her embarrassment and fury by giving each of her children 6 of the galleons and, sighing she pocketed the rest. She then gave them each a bar of chocolate.

Helen's face remained blank as she opened the letter from her father. Peter followed in suit.

_Son,_

_I hear you are doing fair enough in school and I am extremely proud of you. I know it might seem like I have completely abandoned you and your sister, but you need to know that this was never my intent. It has always been about protecting my family, despite the disagreements that caused me and your mother to split up. In fact, son, you are nearly old enough to start doing your part as well. I have been speaking to my colleagues and they all think that it's a very good idea to encourage our sons to join in The Cause. I know that you might not always agree with me or what I'm doing, but I think that you deserve the chance to protect yourself and your family. My line of work is very dangerous and should anything ever happen to me, I expect you to do your best to take care of Helen and --despite the problems I might have with her-- your mother. I believe with all my heart that you will make sure that they stay safe while I am off fighting the good fight. I hope you are having the very best of holidays._

_ Love,_

_Dad_

Peter stared at the letter in his hands for a few more moments until he heard Helen growl in frustration. He looked up to see her glaring at the letter gripped in her hands. In a few jerky movements, she ripped up the letter and threw it into the fire.

"I don't believe him!" She breathed, tears rolling down her rosy cheeks. "He ruins _everything_!"

And with that she stormed out of the room, leaving presents and wrapping paper on the floor behind her.

Peter, shocked, looked up at his mother. She was staring at the door that Helen had just stormed out of, her eyes watering. She caught Peter looking at her and she pushed her eyes back down to the letter lying in her lap. A single tear dropped down onto the parchment.

Peter's gaze returned to the letter that he held. He folded it up and put it in his pocket before starting to clean up wrapping paper and presents.

***

_Dear Peter,_

_That sounds awful! I am so sorry. I'm sure your mum and Helen will be okay though. It's so sweet how much you care about them, but don't give yourself worry lines because your dad is an idiot._

_I really miss you! I would've sent your present by owl, but it's sort of something I need to give you in person. ;) So, I was wondering if perhaps you would like to come over for a few days over new years. I really want to be with you on the count down, and my Mum and Daddy just can't wait to meet you. Don't worry (even though I know you probably are) they will love you. You're just so lovable! Daddy is just a bit old fashioned though, so make sure to dress smart. _

_I can't wait to see you. I miss you so much! It's weird not seeing you every day. I really think you'll like your present. I love you._

_xoxo,_

_Heather_

_p.s. Do you like the picture I sent? Kristie insisted we look adorable in it. And she apologizes for accusing you of cheating on me. She's just kind of silly sometimes. Okay, she's often incredibly crazy, but what can ya do?_

***

_Kate,_

_How has your break been? Did you have a nice Christmas? How was your New Years? Have you seen Caleb? I'm quite jealous that you're able to use magic at home. I am almost tempted to break the Statute to scare Petunia, but not quite. I would prefer to not be expelled. Petunia has been difficult, though. She has taken to not talking to me or even acknowledging my existence. My parents don't seem to know what to do. And, frankly, I'm just annoyed with it. I miss you girls. I miss Remus. I miss seeing everybody every day. Hell, I even miss wanting to kill James! Oh well, just 3 more days until the train._

_Take care,_

_Lils_

***

Kingsley Shacklebolt lay on his bed in his country home on New Year's Eve thinking. Not that this was such an uncommon thing. He was, after all, a Ravenclaw. Only now he was thinking not about facts, wisdom, or knowledge, but about what was the morally right thing to do.

He had spent the start of break at the library in the nearby town, reading as much as he could about werewolves, hoping to find some evidence that would dissuade him from the conclusion he'd drawn about Remus Lupin. But, the more he researched and the more he remembered everything he'd ever heard about or known about the Gryffindor, the more he was sure that he had, in fact, been bitten.

It was a disconcerting thought. How could the Headmaster let a _werewolf_ live in the same dormitories as uninfected students? Surely, he must know. All the teachers must know. It was a huge liability… His mind was spinning with questions and facts and, strangely enough, worries.

He had meant to talk to Maia before leaving for winter break, but he hadn't had the chance. They had both been busy and he hadn't wanted the limited time he spent with her to be polluted with such talk. Besides, he wasn't sure exactly how to approach the topic. _'Love, I think one of your mates is a werewolf, what do you think?'_ did not seem the best or the most logical way to go about it.

An idea suddenly hit him. Who best to talk to about a dark creature than the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher? Professor Mansfield had always told his students that they could come to him with questions and concerns. And Kinsley certain had many of both.

***

_Dear Lily,_

_Please don't throw away this letter before reading it. I'm not going to ask you out on another date or profess my love to you again. I know you don't want that. I will, however, extend my thanks. I do appreciate you teaching me how to study (and not telling anybody that I was studying). But, I also cannot thank you enough for being there for me when Voldemort attacked my family. And you don't even like me that much. You are truly an amazing person._

_Sincerely,_

_James Potter_

Author's Note: Thanks! What did you think? Was it too scattered? What do you want more of? Please review, getting your feedback helps inspire me to write! Much love to you all and happy (belated) holidays!


	15. January Surprises

Author's Note: Can you believe we got this up in less than 2 weeks! And it's one of our longer chapters! Anyway, that's all I have to say for now. This story can also be found under the penname flameintheflood right here on fanfic dot net.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I do, however, own all 7 Harry Potter books. Just... er... not the rights.

--

After what felt like the shortest and yet longest winter break ever, the students found themselves back at the castle. Remus was overjoyed to be with his friends again, especially his newly official boyfriend, Sirius Black. The Pettigrews, though they regretted leaving their mother at home alone, were glad to escape the lonely house. Peter was relieved to inform his fellow marauders that Heather's parents had not hated him as he had thought they would. He also was pleased to let his friends know that he had lost his virginity. The conversation had gone much like this as they rode the train back to Hogwarts:

"Guys, guess what?"

"Huh?"

"I am no longer a virgin!" The other boys had congratulated him and James groaned a little.

"Really? Peter lost it before I did?"

"That's what happened when you have your eyes set on one unattainable person for your entire life," Sirius had explained patting James on the shoulder. Remus had given James a half smile, letting him assume that he wasn't the only virgin in the group.

James, himself, was hoping that coming back to school would allow him more opportunities to show Lily Evans that he wasn't an immature prat any longer. He was also glad for the distractions of classes, seeing as life at home had been more somber than he was accustomed to.

Lily and Allie were both anxious to begin classes and Maia and Kate couldn't wait to see their boyfriends.

Over all, January dawned snowy, sparkly and full of optimism for the Gryffindor 6th years.

***

"Excuse me, Professor?" Kingsley called, peeking through the door of Professor Mansfield's office.

"Oh, hey der!" the tall thin man greeted him from his large messy desk. "Come on in, have a seat den"

"Thank you, Sir," Kingsley said as he took a seat across from him. Professor Mansfield pushed a cup of steaming tea in front of Kingsley who took a sip, grateful for the warm beverage to fight the cold January weather.

"So, what can I do fer ya'?" The Professor asked, cheerily.

"I was wondering about Dark Creatures. Werewolves in particular," Kingsley started. Mansfield nodded for him to continue. "Can they be dangerous on days other than the full moon?"

"Not usually," Professor Mansfield said, taking a sip of tea. "Although dey are listed as highly dangerous and as known wizard killers, hey, this only applies t' dem in werewolf form, eh? In human form, dey can be as harmless or as dangerous as any other witch or wizard, donchya know."

"Are you sure?" Kingsley asked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Well, I should dink so, hey," Mansfield leaned back and peered at his student. "What's got you wondering anyhow?"

"Oh," Kingsley paused. "I've become recently aware that somebody I know is a werewolf, and I was wondering if he was… safe."

"Well, den, tell me this: Is the person that you know seem trustworthy? Has he given any sign that he may be dangerous?" Mansfield gaze was stern and Kingsley noticed a very unfamiliar feeling. He, a very intelligent Ravenclaw, felt stupid. He shook his head and looked down at the desk.

"I'll have ya know, there, that many a people even nowsadays would like to make life very difficult for people with this painful affliction, hey. I'm well aware of how controversial this topic is lately, what with the Ministry always switching werewolves from the Werewolf Registry and Werewolf Capture Unit in de Beast Division, while at the same time, dey have the office for Werewolf Support Services was in de Being Division. I dink, personally, that now more than ever we should be supporting and including werewolves in wizard society, what with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named right here trying to convert dem all over da place."

Kingsley nodded again and took a sip of tea before excusing himself. Everything that Professor Mansfield had said was not only true, but applicable. Remus had never given him any reason to not trust him; in fact, all evidence suggested that Remus was the kindest of the Marauders.

'_Well, I'll still talk to Maia,"_ he thought to himself as we made his way up to Ravenclaw Tower, "_If one of my friends were a werewolf, I would want to know."_

***

There was a fresh layer of snow covering the grounds as a large group of teenaged witches and wizards gallivanted out of the castle that Saturday afternoon.

"Care to remind me why on earth we are outside in this cold, cold weather?" Remus asked as Caleb shivered and nodded in agreement.

"Snow!" Kate exclaimed, grabbing Caleb's hand with gloved fingers.

"Yeah! " Maia agreed. "It's all sparkly and fresh and…" she swooped down to grab a handful of snow. After forming into a ball, she took aim and fired at Peter. "Good for throwing at people!"

Unfortunately, instead of hitting Peter, it hit the person closest to him; so close you actually couldn't tell where their faces parted: Heather. She yelped and pulled away from her boyfriend to look around at the 6th years .

"Who…?" she started, but Maia answered her promptly.

"Geesh, Allie, why would you throw a snowball at poor unsuspecting Miss Heather?" Those who had seen Maia throw the snowball howled with laughter.

"I believe that was actually you—" Allie started, but before she could finish, Peter threw a snowball at her . Although it only grazed her hip, Josh Mason, pretended to be greatly offended.

"You dare attack a lady?" He called, sending a snowball back over towards Peter. Although his aim would've been true, Peter stepped out of the way in time causing it to hit Lily.

"It's war!"

In a flurry of movement, everybody was throwing snow at everybody else. It turned into boys vs. girls rapidly. Lily, although smiling, accused James of thinking she wasn't good enough to fight her own snow ball battles.

"You are so lovely and delicate though, my lovely Lily flower," James replied with an easy smile as he launched another snow ball in the air. Lily tried to force a scowl onto her face and, when she couldn't manage that, grabbed snow and shoved her mittens into his face, dousing him with ice.

Heather had tackled Peter and the two of them were now on the snowy ground pushing snow at each other without even bothering to make proper snow balls. Eventually the lovebirds rolled behind a snowy drift pile. James realized that these spots would make great forts and started to build piles of snowballs at which he charmed to fly around hitting Kingsley and Maia, who were acting rather like young children tumbling around throwing snowballs.

"Hey," Remus whispered into Sirius ear as he aimed a snowball towards Caleb, "I think I understand why we're out here now."

"Oh?" Sirius barked with laughter. "I mean, I know I look sexy with wet melting snow in my hair—"

"Well, yeah, but also…" Remus pushed a clump of snow at his boyfriend. Sirius guffawed and pushed him down onto the snowy ground. They wrestled as they always had since they were little first years: rolling around pinning each other down and shoving snow down each other's robes. Remus stumbled to his feet and ran behind the trees that bordered the lake. Sirius, of course, chased him, pelting him with snow balls.

Once the two boys were behind the trees Remus finished his sentence.

"Snow is good, because it means I get to warm you up," he whispered into the blacked haired boy's nearly frozen ear. He then grabbed the icy earlobe between his teeth and sucked, warming Sirius up considerably.

"Good plan," Sirius sighed, wrapping his arms around Remus. He smirked "I love sweating when it's cold outside."

The werewolf nuzzled him, smelling his ice-drenched hair. Sirius nudged the other boy so that their frozen noses were touching. Remus' breath warmed Sirius' lips and they leaned into a passionate kiss. Remus leaned against a large oak tree and Sirius leaned against him. Their hips touched through layers of cloth and both boys were extremely aware of how all their friends were occupied on the other side of the tree.

"Is this okay?" Sirius asked as he pressed harder against Remus, sufficiently pinning him to the oak.

"Yeah…" Remus groaned into Sirius' lips. "I kind of like the thrill of having people less than 10 ft away not knowing what we're doing. It's exciting."

"Would it be even better if they knew and simply didn't care?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know…" Remus responded carefully. He then laughed and said, "But I do know you're better than hot chocolate!"

"Moi?"Sirius asked in faux disbelief. "Better than chocolate?"

"The only thing better," Remus mumbled as he pressed his lips against Sirius'. His lips parted and he sucked Sirius' tongue into his mouth. As he gently bit down, Sirius let out a sigh, pressing himself harder against Remus.

It was more than a relief than Remus had anticipated, being able to be openly affectionate to Sirius. If he had known it would feel so natural and good, he definitely wouldn't have been so hesitant. Or so he thought now, as Sirius licked his lower lip and gripped the front of his robes.

"Sirius! Remus!" Kate called from the clearing. "Stop hiding and come fight us like real men!"

Remus rested his head against the tree and sighed, looking up at the branches.

"We are probably being more manly hidden here then they would like to know," Sirius chuckled, leaning away from his lover. "Come on, time to appease the masses."

Remus came very close to pouting, but looking at Sirius, who was flushed and out of breath, made him realize that if he could, he would never return to their friends. Now better then later, he decided. This way they wouldn't get suspicious.

The boys slowly stepped out from behind the tree and were immediately bombarded with snow.

James, who had strayed from his fort to watch his friend's flushed faces get soaked quickly jumped back behind it when Lily spotted him.

"You aren't the only one who can charm snowballs to hit people!" She called as dozens of snowballs pelted down at him. The group continued to play like innocent little children for about another half hour. Half an hour later they still weren't bored. Kingsley, Josh, and Caleb had set up a fort on the side and were charming snowballs to chase after the girls. Peter, Remus, and Sirius had, at James' orders, set a perimeter where they directed James' charmed snowballs to bombard the boys.

"Well, well, well, what do we have here?" A bitter voice cut into to shrieks, shouts, giggles, and laughter. James froze and looked up from where he lay behind a snow barrier, making more snow balls. Snape stood towering over him, malice in his dark eyes.

"A snowball fight. It's called having fun. Perhaps you've heard of that," James answered, trying to keep his voice steady as he stood up.

"Are you sure that is advisable?" Another voice rang through the cold air as Regulus stepped out from behind his friend.

"It isn't against any rules, if that's what you mean," James answered, trying to keep his voice steady as anger rose in his chest at the mere sight of the two Slytherins.

"Are you quite sure that _nothing_ you're doing is against the rules?" Snape answered, raising his eyebrows.

"Cut the crap and stop implying that you know more than you actually do, Snivillus." Sirius had come to stand behind James.

"Your superiority complex and condescending tone are not wanted here," Remus added as he and Peter, too, came to join his friends. The entire snowball fight had stopped by this point, and everybody was watching almost eagerly to see what would happen.

"Oh, but we are superior," Regulus argued, "We aren't blood traitors or faggots or… things." He looked at James, Sirius, and Remus in turn as he said this. Remus started to retaliate, but he was cut off as a flash of light exploded from beside him and Regulus was blasted off his feet and back several feet into a snow bank. Immediately Snape pulled out his wand and fired a retaliatory jinx causing Sirius to turn bright red and produce steam from his ears and nose. Sirius raised his wand again, but James was faster.

"Protego!" James shouted, a shield separating they Slytherins from the Marauders. James turned to Snape and Regulus. "Leave. Now. Or I'll remove this shield and let Padfoot here go all out on you. But, I'd rather you leave, because you just aren't worth it."

"Fine," Snape replied coolly, "I don't particularly feel like dirtying my robes anymore today." And with that he turned and stalked away towards the castle.

"You, too, Black," James said, turning to the younger boy who was struggling to remove himself from several feet of snow.

As the second Slytherin ran after his friend, Sirius rounded on James, "What the hell did you do that for? There aren't any teachers around."

"It's like I said, they aren't worth it," James said defiantly, looking straight into Sirius' angry grey eyes.

"It would have been fun," Sirius snapped. "You're just saying this because Lily's over there and you don't want her to see. You know what they and their friends want to do. They are the kind of people that-"

"I know what kind of people they are, Sirius," James countered, "And I don't want to have anything to do with them. Not here, not now."

Sirius looked as though he were about to say something, but Remus cut him off, placing his hand on Sirius' shoulder, "Padfoot, mate, Prongs is right. I know they took your brother. They took James' family. But a duel on the grounds in open sight is not a good idea."

"Yeah," Peter added, "We'll get them back later. Anyway, it's too late now. They're gone."

"I guess," Sirius grumbled, "But that doesn't explain why Prongs here called a stop to the fun. A month ago he would've joined."

"A month ago I guess I didn't see what was wrong with hurting people for fun," James replied icily.

"Prongs, it's _Snape_," Sirius insisted, "He's a right evil prat. As is Regulus."

"We break rules, we hex Snape, we have fun," Peter said, "We're Marauders. It's what we do."

"We can do all those things and not actually hurt him, Prongs," Remus pointed out.

"I don't want to be like them," James said with a sigh, "I cannot say no to marauding, but I refuse to sink to their level."

"And we won't," Remus assured him. Peter and Sirius nodded their agreement.

"In that case," James said, a smile beginning to form and break the cold hardness with which his jaw had set, "I propose we continue work on that map of ours."

"We're going to head inside," Peter announced to the rest of the participants in the snow battle, breaking the tense silence that had overcome the group after the two Slytherins had left. "Anyone up for a nice, warm game of Exploding Snap? Or, perhaps, a butterbeer?"

The group nodded their approval of this plan and they began walking back to the castle. James looked around, trying to catch Lily's eye as they trudged through the snow. He knew that he hadn't done anything wrong and thought that he hadn't done anything to upset her, but he wanted to make sure that she was not upset by the interaction between the Marauders and Snape. However, he soon realised that the red head was, in fact, not in the group of happy, chattering teenagers.

"Who are you looking for, Potter?" Josh asked, one arm over Allie's shoulder, the other hand clearing a path in the snow with his wand.

"I was just wondering where Evans went," James answered, attempting to keep his voice casual.

Josh raised an eyebrow, "She took after Snape, I think. She said there was something that she had to tell him, but that she'd meet up with us later."

"She went after _Snape_?" James stopped where he stood, staring at the dark haired Ravenclaw.

"Don't worry about it, James," Allie said, an easy smile on her face, "As much as none of us like Snape, we know that he won't hurt her. I know you like her, but trust her."

"I do," James said, mildly affronted that Allie had so casually mentioned his crush on Lily, "it's him I don't trust."

"And I'm sure he's well aware that the lot of us would come after his greasy green-robed arse if he hurt her," Josh said. James raised his eyebrows, but Josh just shook his head, "King and I may not be in your group of friends, but we care enough about Maia and Allie to care about Lily. And," he added with a cheeky smile, "don't seem so appalled that Allie mentioned that you have a thing for Lily. It's probably the worst kept secret of Hogwarts."

***

Lily Evans watched as Severus Snape stormed away from the boys. She was angry, as she knew she would be as soon as she'd seen James stand up and face Snape. What she hadn't known, though, was that her anger wouldn't be directed toward the bespectacled boy but rather toward her childhood friend.

"Allie," she whispered urgently to her friend, noting, even in her anger, that Allie finally seemed to have opened herself up to Josh, who had been holding her hand and whispering something in her ear, "I have to go talk to Severus." Without waiting for a reply, Lily took off. She finally caught up to him near the greenhouses.

"Snape!" She called, "Snape! Severus!"

He stopped, "What do you want? Oh – Lily. Hi."

"Hi," she said, kicking the snow as she shuffled her feet anxiously.

"What do you want?" he repeated, coolly. But there was an eager undertone in his voice.

"I want you to stop goading the boys," she answered.

"Oh, so this is about _Potter_." He spat out the name as though it tasted of doxy droppings.

"No, Sev-Snape," Lily retorted, anger beginning to flare in her eyes. "It's about you. I've told you this before; calling people those names, speaking to people that way, using Dark Magic, it's not right!"

"Black attacked first," Snape dismissed.

"But you responded. If you're so superior, as you claim, you would've been the bigger person and done the right thing. Besides, I saw you come over. You initiated the entire interaction!"

"Bigger person? The 'right' thing?" Snape mocked, "Do you see the colours on my robes? That isn't my goal; that isn't who I am."

"So you think that you can just hide behind your colours, blaming other people for your actions? You are so in over your head in the Dark Arts that I can hardly believe I knew you once. Do you really believe all that rubbish? Is that really what is important to you? You aren't even pureblood!"

"No," he admitted, "it isn't."

"Then why? What _is_ important to you?"

"You," he replied simply.

Lily just stared at him as though he'd sprouted an extra head, "Still?"

"Always."

"But," Lily struggled to find words, "But, Snape… you burned that bridge last year."

"It's because of _Potter_," Snape said again with equal disgust, "I cannot believe you're falling into the Potter Trap. He's really not that-"

"Snape," Lily said, her voice rising, "It has nothing to do with Potter. It's _you_. You cannot move past your weird hate for the kid. He's grown up a bit. Maybe you should too."

"But-" Snape started, colour rising around his collar.

"No," Lily cut him off, "I'm not going to hate James for you because, you and me? We aren't friends any longer. And you have nobody to blame for that but yourself." Lily turned and walked away. It took all her effort not to run as she bit her lip and let the tears fall. She had said it the year before, but she knew it now with a certainty unlike any she had had before. And this would be the last time she would cry for him, she told herself. The rest of the pain and hurt of what could've been remained with the boy standing alone in the January snow.

***

"Hey, Maia!" Kingsley called across the corridor the next day as he saw his girlfriend step out of a classroom. She was holding at least 5 heavy textbooks, so when Kingsley got over to her, he took them all and kissed her lightly.

"Hey sweet boy," Maia grinned, flirtatiously. "Have a good day?"

"Yeah, but I have to talk to you," He smiled at her assuring her that the talk wouldn't be a bad one. "When are you free?"

"Well… right now, I suppose," Maia answered, her face alit with curiosity.

"Erm…" He looked around at all the students walking around them. "Come on."

He grabbed her hand and pulled her to a deserted classroom. Placing the books down on a table, he embraced her and kissed her again.

"Hate to break it to you, sweetie," Maia chirped when he stopped to catch his breath. "But that isn't talking. That's snogging. Not that I particularly mind, but it seemed like you had something to say?"

"Yes. Yes I did have something to say," He paused and wondered what her reaction would be. "Remus Lupin? Yeah. He's a werewolf."

Maia, surprisingly didn't look the least bit surprised.

"Poor guys… God, I feel awful for him. But, it does kind of make sense… missing class all the time…" she drifted off into thought for a moment. "Hey, do you think that he was that wolf we saw by the forest that one time?"

"I suppose…" To be honest, Kingsley hadn't even made the connection' "What was with his animal friends?"

"Well, werewolves really only are dangerous to humans. I suppose, it would be like Remus to make cute forest buddies," Maia giggled. Kingsley however, was still concerned.

"But that's not really safe is it?" He asked. "I'm nearly sure that Dumbledore wouldn't know and just let him run free and dangerous."

Maia considered for a moment. "I'm sure Dumbledore knows he's a werewolf. And it may not have been him in the forest. We _were_ a little distracted... But perhaps we should mention it to a friend of his, because I'm sure he would tell them. They could maybe consider ways to keep people safe?"

"You're probably right," Kingsley said slowly, concern etching his voice, "And it probably wasn't him in the forest. He's a smart kid, he'd know not to put people in danger. But, yes. We should talk to his friends."

"But, make sure you don't tell anyone outside of the Marauders, okay?" Maia whispered. "I mean, poor Remus is already going to be discriminated against when he comes out as gay. We really don't want to get him kicked out of school by angry parents who don't want their kid around a gay werewolf."

"Wait… Lupin's gay?" Kingsley asked, mildly shocked.

"Oh, shit!" Maia covered her mouth. "I'm sorry, I didn't say that!"

"Yes you did," Kingsley countered. "I don't really care though. I mean, whatever floats his boat, right?"

Maia nodded, thankful that Kingsley hadn't freaked out.

"Is he with Sirius then?" Kingsley asked. "That's the only other openly gay guy I can think of."

"Mmhmm, I personally think it's adorable," She smiled and laced her fingers between Kingsley's large black ones.

"Albeit, rather obvious, now that I think about it," Kingsley shrugged. He smiled down at his girlfriend.

"Of course," Maia smirked, leaning against his wide chest. "Remus and Sirius aren't here right now, are they? Now it's just you and me; all alone."

All thoughts of werewolves and gay lovers slid from Kingsley's mind as Maia kissed him.

--

Author's Note: So... what did you think? Likes? Dislikes? What was your favourite moment in this chapter? Let me know! Reviews are love!


	16. Dates and Daring

A/N: Hey! Look! It's been less than two weeks! And we'll do our best to get another chapter up in the same amount of time. My holiday is ending soon, though. But I'll push to keep writing my part. We have a definite plan of where we want to go with the story now, so that should make the updates quicker. No more of that once-a-month stuff, I promise. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: My driver's license still does not say "Joanne Rowling." I am not British. And, no, I do not own Harry Potter.

--

Since winter term had started, frequent library patrons noticed a change in the way that Allie Korets and Josh Mason studied in the library. Whereas previously they would sit either by themselves or with housemates, they now sat together. At first, those who cared, were surprised when the two walked in together and spread their books out at a quiet corner table. By the first week of February, however, even the keenest on gossip were no longer fussed with their presence together.

"Josh?" Allie asked quietly after staring at her Arithmancy notes in slight confusion.

"Yes?" He asked, looking up from the essay on long-lasting effects of the Imperius Curse.

"Could you explain this mathematical structure to me?" She pointed at a diagram of numbers, letters, and odd symbols. "I thought I understood it in class, but now it just isn't making any sense."

Josh pulled the parchment towards him and studied it for a moment before smiling, "Allie, dear, you're making it too complicated."

"What do you mean?" She asked, scowling in slight confusion.

Josh pointed at the numbers, letters, and symbols in turn, stating the arrangement they took on the page and how the mere shapes in which they lay was the key to determining what they meant. As he went on to explain how to calculate the answer, his voice dropped and he moved closer to Allie until he was whispering the instructions in her ear.

"So," Allie whispered back as she turned to face him, "you just have to determine the shape, find the analogous equation, and calculate the answers to determine the meanings?"

"Exactly."

"Thanks." The way he was looking at her made her blush. Although they had been flirting for over a month and had spent copious amounts of time together both studying and talking, nothing had yet happened between them.

Whenever she came back from the library, Maia and Kate would ask her if he had made a move. Each time, Allie would blush and shake her head. She liked him, she even had good reason to believe that he liked her as well, but she didn't want to push. She didn't want to feel as though she were forcing anybody into anything, especially after how things had ended with Remus.

But the raw intelligence that was so easily discernable behind his deep brown eyes, the way he could explain the most difficult homework problem with ease, and yet not seem arrogant, and the sweet kindness with which he treated her could've made the most unfortunate looking wizard attractive. He brought out the part of her that had made the Sorting Hat question putting her in Ravenclaw. But it was more than that. Things felt right when she was with him.

"Allie?" Josh asked quietly. He had returned to his previous position at the table while Allie's mind had been wandering and was now looking at her curiously from over his half completed essay.

"Yes?" She asked.

"Do you have plans for the fourteenth of the month?"

"What?" She asked, "Um, no. I don't think so. Why?"

Josh leaned forward, "I was wondering if you would like to accompany me to Hogsmeade."

Allie stared at him. "As… as a date?"

Josh didn't answer, but rather leaned forward further and let his lips touch hers in a gentle kiss. Allie froze for a brief moment before reciprocating, letting sparks surge from her lips through the rest of her body.

"I think," she said, pulling away, "that I would like that very much."

***

"And I could go work for the Ministry as Allie suggested, but I've never been a fan of bureaucracy…" Kingsley stopped paying attention to what his friend, Josh Mason, was saying about after Hogwarts goals when he spotted one of the Marauders wandering from a class by himself.

"Hey, Josh, I have something I have to take care of," He explained distractedly. "Meet you in the common room, okay?"

Before Josh could say "Laters, King", he was hurrying to catch up with Peter.

"Hey there, Peter," He said, falling into step with the shorter boy.

"Oh, hi Kingsley," Peter greeted the popular Ravenclaw, mildly confused as to why he had been approached. "Are you looking for Maia?"

"Not really," Kingsley responded. "I was actually really hoping to talk to you about something."

"Oh?" Peter stopped walking, completely bemused. "Why would you want to talk to me? Are you sure you don't want James or Sirius or something?"

Kingsley furrowed his brow, _could Peter really not understand that anyone might actually see him as worth talking to?_ He shook his head realizing that, really, Peter's self esteem was not his priority.

"It's about Remus, or… you guys call him Moony, right?"

"Yeah," Peter looked up at Kingsley warningly. "It's a Marauder nickname. Nobody else calls him that. Ever."

"Right," Kingsley chuckled. "I wasn't planning on using it… it's just… well he got the nickname because of his… condition, right?"

Peter eyes darted around the corridor and decided to take this conversation to somewhere a little more deserted. Opening the first door he spotted, he grabbed Kingsley and pulled him into a broom closet.

"Shh! What do you think you're doing? How do you know about Moony? Did Snape say something? Oh god if he did, Prongs will drop this maturity thing in a second and he will be as good as dead… unless, what if they think that I told you? Or did Padfoot tell Maia? Shit oh shit oh shit!" Peter was close to hyperventilation, and Kingsley not wanting all the oxygen in the small broom cupboard to get used up, placed a calming hand on the other boy's shoulder.

"Peter, calm down," He sighed, thankful for silence when Peter shut up and held his breath. "I overheard you guys talking about the full moon, and caught a glimpse of a werewolf by the forest last Halloween. I told Maia, but she seemed okay about it."

"Oh," Peter looked at Kingsley's shadowed face waiting. "So, what are you going to do?"

"Nothing," Kingsley leaned back against the wall. "I think the teachers must already know… at least Mansfield figured it out. How is Dumbledore making sure everybody stays safe?"

"Well," Peter deliberated trying to decide what to tell Kingsley. "There is a place where he goes. It's perfectly secure."

"Then why was he in the forest, surrounded by fuzzy forest friends last Halloween?"

"Well… maybe he got out?" Peter's eyes darted around, even though they were completely alone. It was almost as if he was looking for a way to escape. Kingsley felt a little bad about making the kid sweat, so he decided to finish up the conversation.

"Well, just, maybe tell Dumbledore that he could work on the security of this safe place, okay?" With that, Kingsley turned to leave, but Peter, concerned that Kingsley might think too hard on the animals that had been accompanying Remus in werewolf form.

"Wait, Kingsley!" The black Ravenclaw turned around.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know anything else, that might be, er… confidential Marauder business?" Peter asked. Kingsley shrugged and answered.

"Well, I know that Remus is gay," Peter's jaw dropped, but Kingsley didn't notice in the dim light of the cupboard. "And that he and Sirius are together. But that's sort of obvious, right?"

"er…" Peter had no idea what to say. Kingsley, misreading the silence assured him.

"Don't worry though, I won't tell anyone. It's their business if they want to come out."

Kingsley left Peter, who was in shock, alone in the broom cupboard to ponder this new information.

***

Sirius and Remus were alone in the dormitory together, lying in each other's arms on Remus' bed. Their faces were flushed and the blankets were tangled. Sirius traced the scars on Remus' bare chest, lightly, causing the werewolf's skin to cover in goose bumps.

Remus breathed warm, moist breath into Sirius' mussed hair and whispered meaningless post-orgasm mutterings. Sirius chuckled and sat up and pulled on pants.

"Wormtail should be getting back from his classes soon," he reminded his boyfriend as he pulled a white undershirt over his head.

Remus groaned and searched around for his black uniform pants. Right after he found them and slipped them on, the door of the dorm burst open and an alarmed Peter barged in.

"Hello, Wormtail," Remus greeted his friend calmly, hoping that it wouldn't look like they'd been walked in on.

"Why aren't you wearing a shirt?!" Peter exclaimed. The other two looked at him, trying to appear confused.

"Well, I was fancying a shower," Remus explained, forcing his face into the well used excuse-making expression of complete believability.

"Besides," Sirius commented. "Since when do we bother wearing clothes in our dorm? It's not like we don't see each other naked all the time."

Peter looked from Sirius to Remus and back again. He repeated this motion numerous times, making Remus feel slightly self- conscious of all the scars that covered his chest, let alone the sweat that covered both of them, making their hair stick up like James'. Sirius couldn't help notice that they both had swollen lips and happy, dazed expressions barely being contained.

"Are you gay?" Peter asked. Remus paled, but Sirius just laughed.

"Wormtail, I've been out for like, a year so far," he said. Peter shook his head and pointed at Remus.

"Are you gay?" He repeated. Remus briefly relived the moment when his friends had cornered him about being a werewolf and pondered the way his friends always seemed to see right through him. He had no idea how Peter knew, so he just nodded. Peter sighed, a strange expression on hi s face.

"And you two are…?"

"Together," Remus finished. "Yes, we are."

Sirius grinned at his boyfriend, who was looking rather murderous. The grin slid off his face.

"How did you know? Was it Allie?"

Sirius was shocked. "You told Allie?!" He exclaimed. "And you expected it to not get out? Really, Remus? How thick can you get—"

"Allie's not the type to gossip, Sirius, and you know it," Remus shot back.

"It wasn't Allie," Peter interrupted, shaking his head.

"Maia?" Sirius asked, he didn't think she was the type to blab, but he had to admit, sometimes she was a bit spacey.

"Maia knows?" Remus glared at his boyfriend. "Why does Maia know? I had to tell Allie, she was my girlfriend and she deserved to know the truth, but really? Maia? That girl is so carefree! How could you think she wouldn't let it slip?"

"It wasn't Maia, either," Peter informed them. "It was Kingsley. Does Prongs know? Am I the last person to know? I thought I was your friend!"

Peter's face crumbled, but Remus was so upset that he didn't even notice. Sirius was a bit more focused on an upset Remus than a confused Peter.

"How does Kingsley know?" Remus glared accusingly at his boyfriend. "I thought you were okay with keeping this private until I was ready!"

"I only ever told Maia!" Sirius insisted. "You were playing with my head and I needed somebody to confide in!"

"So, does James know or not?" Peter repeated, trying to absorb the tsunami of information.

"_I_ was playing with _your_ head?" Remus exclaimed. "You knew you were gay! I was the one going through an identity crisis!"

"That's not fair!" Sirius argued. "I was obsessed with you and you kept sending mixed messages! I needed to talk to somebody."

"Well," Peter interjected. "You obviously didn't think me or James were good enough to know anything!"

"It wasn't that," Sirius explained. "Maia had figured it out herself and she's not as good of friends with Remus, so she was easiest to talk to. I knew Remus would want to tell you two about it himself."

"But he didn't," Peter pointed out. "And you just let us stay in the dark! Marauders don't lie to other each other. You need to tell James."

The three boys looked at each other. Sirius felt a bit guilty that he hadn't told James and Peter, and also felt bad about outing Remus to Maia without his permission, but mostly, he was just relieved that they probably wouldn't have to hide much longer.

Remus was furious and embarrassed; did everyone know? He wasn't ready for all of this yet and now it felt as though he were naked in front of a crowd with all his secrets laid out in plain sight.

Peter was disappointed that his friends hadn't confided in him, and irritated that once again, he seemed like the last person to figure out what was going on. He sighed, "Oh yeah, Kingsley also knows that you're a werewolf, Moony."

This, apparently was the final straw for Remus. He didn't even bother asking how Kingsley knew this dangerous piece of information, before he grabbed his sweater from where it lay on the floor stormed out of the dormitory. Sirius watched his boyfriend leave but decided not to go after him. If Remus were truly angry, it would be best to let his rational side calm down his emotional side before any of the others got involved

"How on earth did Kinsley figure out?" Sirius asked, sitting back down on the still tangled sheets of Remus' bed.

Peter sat on his own bed across from Sirius,"He overheard us talking. And he saw Moony in the woods on Halloween, do you remember that?"

"Oh yeah," Sirius said as he recalled the moment when the wolf had almost attacked Maia and Kingsley as they strolled by the lake. "Is he going to tell anyone?"

"No, but he told us to tell Dumbledore that the wolf had escaped and that he should review the security."

"I don't think we need to worry too much about it," Sirius said, receiving a nod of agreement from Peter. He stood up. "Well, I'm off. Got to make sure my boyfriend doesn't do something stupid before rational Remus gets a hold of the situation."

"So… you really like him, eh?" Peter asked, trying not to reveal his discomfort

"I love him."

And for the second time that day, Peter was left alone and confused.

***

Remus Lupin was alone, shivering in the snow by the lake. Multiple sheets of white had hid the footprints from their old snow ball fight and the lake was covered in slushy ice. He usually hated the cold, but in a boarding school, it was hard to get privacy. At least out here he knew that nobody would interrupt his solitude.

The sun was setting behind clouds and the snow sparkled violet. He didn't know how he could bear to go back and see his friends. The expression on Peter's face was mostly shock, but Remus suspected that behind the shock was disgust and hurt. It was happening all over again. He had to worry about his friends deserting him and although it didn't make logical sense, he was concerned.

"Remus?" A familiar voice broke the silence.

"Yes, Sirius?" He asked, not turning around. He heard soft footsteps fall closer on the snow.

"They will understand." Sirius took Remus' hand in his own and Remus didn't have the energy to pull away. He didn't have energy to answer either.

"They've never cared that I'm gay, and I know that they'll just be glad that we're happy."

"But, Sirius," Remus sighed. "I'm not even sure if I'm gay. I really did like Allie. I'm not sure I want everybody to think that I'm something I'm not."

"Are you with me?" Sirius asked, making eye contact with his boyfriend.

"Of course," Remus answered.

"Well, then, that's all anybody needs to know. If you break up with me, then you can explain to everyone that you also like girls."

"People are going to hate me," Remus said.

"Why? I don't think you're particularly hatable." Sirius knew exactly why people would hate Remus, but somehow hoped that if he pretended they wouldn't then they wouldn't.

"Because, 1. I'm a faggot. 2. I'm dating you." Remus explained unnessesarily.

"In response to that first one, do you really think that anybody will be able to get away with insulting or hurting a Marauder? We take care of our own. Besides, not to be modest, but I'm incredibly popular. I don't understand how being with me could possibly work against you."

"Jealous fangirls and fanboys?" Remus suggested, smirking.

"Touché," Sirius smirked back. "But, we've always had to deal with jealous wankers; Snivelus, for example."

Remus nodded and leaned against the black haired boy who gripped the shivering boy hard in his arms.

"You were a total prat to come outside in this weather. You aren't even wearing a cloak." Remus shrugged and let the other boy rub his nearly numb limbs back to feeling before pulling him to his feet and starting back to the castle.

"Did Peter say anything else about Kingsley knowing about my… condition?" Remus asked.

"Yeah," Sirius grinned. "Apparently he doesn't mind too much, but wants us to remind Dumbledore to keep security a priority."

"And he won't tell?"

"If he does, I'm pretty sure that Maia would dump him," Sirius shrugged. "But I wouldn't worry. Kingsley seems like an alright kind of guy."

"So, are we going to tell Prongs then?" Remus asked as they entered the warm castle.

"We probably should," Sirius concurred. "Otherwise, Wormtail will out us first."

"Sounds like fun, then"

***

After Sirius followed Remus out of the dormitory Peter stood silently looking at the wall. He didn't feel quite as bad knowing that James didn't know about the budding relationship between the other Marauders, but he was still confused. True, he'd never been the most observant of the group; that had always been Moony. Still, he wasn't quite sure how he'd missed something that was so seemingly obvious.

"Well, I won't tell Prongs," he said to the wall, "It's their business who they snog." He sighed; he had quite the amount of homework to do and didn't want to do any of it. After a couple more minutes of staring at the wall in procrastination, he decided to go find James. His friend was always good for helping him both procrastinate and understand the material at once.

Peter found James at a table near the fire in the Gryffindor common room working on an essay. He kept running his left hand through his hair in frustration as he scribbled hastily with the quill in his right hand.

"Hey, Prongs," Peter said as he pulled out a chair across from his friend and sat down.

"Hey, Wormtail," James responded, looking up from his essay, "What's up?"

"I just thought you might like to help me on the Charms essay or help me procrastinate."

"Well, I'm just finishing up the Charms essay myself. You can copy mine if you want."

"Thanks," Peter said with a smile, "What else do you have to do?"

"This is it," James answered. He finished the sentence was working on, put down his quill, and handed the essay to Peter.

"Wait, you're _done_?" Peter asked in shock, "As in completely done with all the work?"

"Well, kind of," James admitted, "I mean, I wrote the essays and read the assigned pages from the books. I didn't practice the spells we were assigned to practice, though. I don't need to."

Peter shook his head in disbelief, "Who are you and what have you done with Prongs?"

"Look at it this way, Wormtail," James said defiantly, "Now I don't have to do work all week and I can laugh at you lot. Well, I can laugh at you and Padfoot. I'm sure Moony has done his."

"You are a strange wizard," Peter said with a sigh as he started paraphrasing James' essay.

James just shrugged in response and let his gaze wander from his short friend to the group of girls sitting at a table in the corner. Lily and Allie were talking quietly over the potions textbook while Maia and Kate charmed objects to fly around the girls' heads. James smiled as Lily tucked a strand of her long, red hair behind her ear. He wanted her to love him, true, but over the past few months, the desire had changed. He still liked her, dreamt about her, and imagined kissing her in deserted corridors, but as he'd started talking to her more, his adoration grew. There was more to her than her intelligence and her beauty; there was a fire in her that he'd always seen and a kindness that he'd just began to get to know.

"Prongs!" Peter said, jarring James out of his daydreams.

"What?" James asked, jerking his head to face his friend. "Was there something wrong with my essay?"

"Not so far as I can tell," Peter admitted, "But this just landed on the table." He picked up a delicately folded paper rose and handed it to James.

"What is it?" James asked as he began to unfold the flower.

"I'm not sure, but it came from over there." Peter pointed across the common room to where the Gryffindor seeker, Angela Miller, sat with her friends Julie Anderson and Dena James. He looked back at his friend. James had closed his eyes and let his fall back.

"Oh no," James moaned.

"What's wrong?" Peter inquired.

James didn't answer, but shoved the now unfolded paper rose across the table. Peter looked down. Pink hearts had been charmed to dance around red, curly letters. Peter raised his eyebrows at James.

"Just read it," James said quietly.

Peter nodded and looked back at the paper.

_You're so fine  
It's quite divine  
So I ask you:  
Be my valentine?  
-Angela Miller_

***

"What has James looking so distraught?" Maia asked.

"Hmm?" Lily asked absently.

"Well, he just looks distraught. And now he and Peter are leaving and going up the stairs the dormitory."

"Is the play-by-play really necessary?" Lily asked, now looking up from the potions text.

"I just thought somebody might be interested," Maia said, looking at Lily.

"I'm not," Lily said.

"You don't care that James is upset?" Kate asked, joining the conversation.

"Nope," Lily answered, turning back to her potions.

"That's not true. You cared when his family died," Allie pointed out.

"That was different," Lily insisted, "That was a real reason to be upset. I'm sure this isn't."

"You can't know that," Allie said, "You haven't asked him."

"I'm sure Maia knows," Lily said with a sigh, "She looks too smug to not know. If it were important, she'd say something."

"Okay, fine," Maia admitted, "I do know."

"And?" Lily pressed.

"I thought you didn't care," Maia smirked.

"Oh, just tell her," Kate said, laughing.

Maia looked at her, questioning, and the dark haired girl nodded encouragingly. Maia smiled, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. She cleared her throat, "Well, I don't know why you'd care that Angela Miller just asked out James Potter."

"Wait, what?" Lily's head snapped toward Maia, "How do you know?"

"I thought you didn't care about James Potter," Maia answered.

"Come off it, I don't," Lily protested, "I am just curious."

"I overheard her talking to her friends about sending him a note asking him to be her valentine," Maia said slowly, watching with mild amusement as Lily's eyes narrowed and her brows furrowed.

"She's not his type," Lily stated curtly.

"And what exactly is James' type?" Allie asked as she tried to suppress giggles.

"Oh, I don't know," Lily said, brushing her hair from her eyes in annoyance, "But not Angela Miller!"

"What's wrong with Angela?" Kate asked through giggles of her own, "I know her from Quidditch. She's very nice and not stupid."

"Well, he dated Kristi and look how well that turned out!"

"Angela is very different from Kristi," Kate assured her friend, "I don't think you need to worry about Angela throwing a fit in the common room over nothing."

"Well, what if they do go out, and then break up?" Lily questioned, "That would probably not be good for the Quidditch team."

"Since when do you care that much about Quidditch," Kate shot at her three of her friends exchanged glances and stared at Lily. They all knew that, as much as she enjoyed attending the Quidditch games with them, she didn't really invest herself in it beyond a fun way to pass the occasional afternoon.

"I know you care about Quidditch," Lily replied weakly, ashamed of the blush that crept up her neck under her friends' too knowing looks.

"I think," Allie said slowly, trying to prevent further stoking of Lily's temper, "that you're jealous that James is going out with people that aren't you."

"What?" Lily said, aghast, "What? No! That's ridiculous. Why in Merlin's name would I be jealous of any girl that goes out with _Potter_?"

"Maybe not jealous that they are going out with him," Allie answered, "Maybe just jealous that his attention is focused elsewhere. We had this same discussion back when Kristi started going with James. You had a similar reaction."

"You're wrong. You think that just because you have this new thing with Josh, that everybody should get together." Lily said. She grabbed up her potions book and parchment. "I'm going to bed. I'll talk to you girls tomorrow." And, with that, she turned and stormed across the room and up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.

"She's wrong. It has nothing to do with Josh," Allie said defiantly as their friend hurried up the staircase.

"You're right. And it has nothing to do with Quidditch either. It has everything to do with James. She's still fighting it," Maia agreed quietly.

Allie nodded, "I think that she's the only one that doesn't see it. The only girl, at least."

"She's afraid," Kate pointed out, "She's been letting him become her friend this year. She's seen him grow up a bit, but she's afraid that he'll go back to being the big headed little boy he's been until recently."

"Has she told you this, or are you speculating?" Allie asked.

"No," Kate shook her head, "She hasn't said anything. But, as you said, Allie, she's probably the only girl in Gryffindor who doesn't realise what those feelings she's having actually are."

"She'll work it out," Maia said sagely, "I bet my wand, she'll figure it out. I just only hope it isn't too late. She can't count on James waiting around forever."

***

The boys entered the dormitory to see Peter and James deep in conversation on the floor near the window.

"What?" Sirius growled. "Couldn't wait till we were here to share the news, then Peter?"

Peter blinked up at the two of them and squeaked.

"What news?" asked a curious, but obvious distressed James.

"Oh… never mind then," mumbled Sirius. Remus couldn't contain a laugh and Peter rolled his eyes. Sirius ignored them. "So, what's wrong with you, Prongs?"

"I got asked out." James groaned and leaned back against the wall.

"This is a problem how?" Sirius asked, bemused.

"I love Lily!" James exclaimed. "And things with Kristi didn't exactly work out for me, did they? And Angela is our seeker and things are awkward enough with Kristi on the team."

"So… say no," Remus suggested, still unsure what the problem was.

"But, it's Valentine's day! That's just cruel to reject somebody this time of year!" James exclaimed. Sirius and Remus looked at each other, guiltily.

"I didn't do anything for my love interest, this Valentines day…" Remus told the room.

"You have a love interest?" James asked, momentarily distracted from his own problem.

"Oh yes you did," smirked Sirius as he winked at Remus. "I'm sure your love interest doesn't feel disappointed at all. Besides, he didn't do anything special for you either. He's just glad he didn't bugger everything up and that you aren't going to toss him."

"He?" James asked his eyebrows raising as he looked between his two best friends. An amused grin snuck onto his face. "My, is our little Moony coming out as gay?"

"Uh, yeah," Remus shrugged looking at Sirius. "I'm with this tosser, here."

"Well, damn," James just laughed. "I pity the female population of Hogwarts. I bet nobody would've guessed that 50% of the Marauders were queer!"

"Actually," Sirius corrected. "Maia figured it out."

"And Kingsley said it was pretty obvious," Peter added, still shaken a bit by this new dynamic to the group, but apparently reassured by James' relaxed reaction.

"I suppose I've always been a bit oblivious to this kind of stuff," James admitted. "Whatever. Good to know we won't have to add random other guys to our group dynamic. Same rules apply as ever: Don't do anything on my bed, don't even attempt to convert me and don't turn disgustingly cute in public. Heather and Peter are bad enough for my stomach."

Peter smacked James on the back of his head, much to general amusement.

"Don't worry Prongs," Sirius barked with laughter. "You're bed smells funny and…"

"You can't really convert somebody to being gay," Remus finished.

"And that last concern," Sirius pouted and pulled himself against Remus. "You don't think we're cute? Do you hear my heart breaking?"

Remus gently shoved the other boy off him, and the four boys continued to tease each other, discuss James' romantic dilemma and be loud and obnoxious late enough to get yelled at by the head boy.

--

A/N: So... what did you think? Of Remus' coming out? Of Allie and Josh? Of Lily's reaction? Review, please!


	17. Hope and Grieving

[A/N: Sorry for the delay! I started the new semester and things have been crazy, both for me and for flameintheflood. We're really hoping to get the next chapter up within the next two, maybe three, weeks. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Thanks to reviewers: _A Quiet Chaos, Fun-Sized Kirk, Paul, Caliban's-Girl667, and SWaddict! _I really appreciate your feedback. Thanks to everyone who put me on Alerts or Favorites too! Drop me a line, sometime ;) Also, this chapter is a bit darker than usual, but don't worry, we aren't turning this into angst.

Disclaimer: JKR is a goddess of writing genius. Maggs (FlameintheFlood) and I are just fanfiction lovers writing for fun.]

**Chapter 17- Hope and Grieving**

_Oh dear what can the matter be  
Princess, dreaming again  
Fearful, live life more easily  
Darkness, leave her in peace_

_Always wanting help  
Will make you weak  
No such place has help  
But in your dreams  
Climb out of your well_

_Protect me  
Protect me_

_-"Protect me," by James_

It was an unusually pleasant day for March in Northern Britain. The sun was shining brightly from a cloudless sky, melting the ice on the leafless trees and shining off of the lake. Birds were singing and small animals were making their first appearances after long, cold months of hibernation.

"I hope the weather stays this nice until summer," Heather said she walked, hand in hand with Peter, along the lake's shore, "It's amazing not having to wear a heavy cloak and hat and mittens. It's so freeing!" She dropped Peter's hand and spun around, her arms spread apart and her face lifted towards the clear sky.

"I don't mind you not wearing a heavy cloak, either," Peter teased. "It makes it easier for me to do this." He grabbed her hands and pulled her close to himself. Heather smiled up at him and he let himself get lost in her blue eyes.

"What does it make it easier for you to do?" She asked in a whisper, bringing her face closer to his.

"This." He closed the small gap that remained between them and brought his hands to her waist. After a brief kiss, he squeezed her stomach.

"Peter!" She squealed in surprise, "Don't tickle me!"

"Don't what? I can't hear you!" He continued to tickle her until her shrieks of delight became gasping laughter and she fell down, pulling him next to her in the snow.

"Don't... tickle... me." She said as the two of them lie, gasping for breath.

"But you're just so cute when you laugh," He said, putting his arm around her.

She snuggled in closer to him. Her light cloak was just thick enough to keep her from getting wet and, next to Peter, the slight chill didn't bother her at all.

Spring was coming. The young couple was in love. Life had never been so close to perfect.

***

That same afternoon, James had taken advantage of the uncharacteristically warm weather to call the first Gryffindor Quidditch practice of the season. To his delight, nobody had complained and had all shown up eager to take off. After a couple hours of hard drills, both in the air and on the ground, James motioned for his team to land. His chasers where all exhausted, Kate was enthused and his beaters were covered in sweat. What was bugging him was his seeker, Angela. He started to speak to his team.

"Okay guys," James started. Kate coughed. James rolled his eyes and continued, "And girls. Practice was really good today, especially for our first of the season. I want you out here every night you can this week, doing drills. With me as captain, our team is going to win the cup." He looked up at the darkening sky. "But, we're done for today. Go shower and change."

The team ignored his instructions and instead began to socialize on the field. James didn't actually care what they did now that practice was over, and decided that socializing could really only build good team feelings. He did, however, pull Angela aside to talk for a moment.

"Angela," He started. "What's up? We were practicing for about two hours and you didn't catch the snitch twice. I'm playing chaser and even I've seen it fluttering about. This isn't your usual performance."

She looked up at him angrily and swept back her straight black hair. "Your chasers kept getting in my way. Kristi especially. I don't even understand why she's on the team."

"She is a very good chaser, and during a game, people will get in your way when you're trying to catch the snitch," James frowned. "You know that. Usually, you play a lot better. I was wondering if something was wrong."

"It's just…" she looked at her feet. "You said you wouldn't go out with me because you didn't want to ruin team dynamics, but you went out with Kristi and she's on the team. It doesn't make sense and it's really been distracting me today."

James sighed. "I'm sorry, Angela. I guess I just don't feel that way about you. Besides, you know it can get awkward with Kristi on the team. I wouldn't want to risk more awkwardness."

"Yeah," Angela bit her lip and looked at the team members currently laughing a little bit away from them. "About Kristi, she's kind of been making practices hard for me. She was really angry when she found out that I liked you and has been very rude for the past few months. And now that we're on the field, practicing again, I just… I don't want to have to deal with her."

"I could talk to her, if you want," James suggested. "Or better yet," He raised his voice and looked over to the other team members. "Kristi! Can you come here?"

Kristi grinned and jogged over. Angela groaned and muttered something, but James was so irritated with Kristi that he didn't notice.

"Hey, James! What's up?" the blond girl asked once she was standing close to them.

"I was just concerned," He started, glaring at his ex. "because, Angela said that you've been rude to her lately, and that…"

"I most certainly have _not_ been anything other than fair! I've explained to her how stupid it is to like you, " James started to retort angrily, but Kristi didn't stop talking. "And she has been my friend for ages and friends don't date friends' exes!"

"We were never really good friends! Teammates, yes, but not best friends!" Angela countered. "Besides, if I didn't date anyone that you had ever liked, there would be no eligible boys left at Hogwarts!"

"What do you mean by _that?!_" Kristi screeched. Angela didn't answer, but instead just glared at the affronted blond. There was a moment of silence on the field and James felt the entire team's eyes on the three of them.

"Angela, Kristi," James calmly, albeit awkwardly, tried to fix the situation. "In my humble opinion –"

"Nobody asked what you thought!" Kristi snarled impatiently. James just stared at her while Angela went on to rant at Kristi who in turn went back to screeching at her. Thankfully, Kate decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Shut up!" She shouted, over the angry bickering. The two girls almost looked surprised that anyone else was there. Kate took advantage of this pause in their fighting to say her piece. "First of all, we are a team and we will never win a game if we can't get along. If you think what you are fighting about is more than Quidditch, feel free to quit the team, because there are tons of people who wish they were on it."

The team muttered agreements but Kristi and Angela looked ashamed.

"Second of all," Kate continued. "Everyone knows James has been in love with Lily since first year. Get over it. James isn't the only guy at Hogwarts."

The guys on the team all cheered (except James who stood there awkwardly) and Kristi mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like "But Sirius is gay…" Angela nodded and walked into the showers. A much more cheerful team followed her. Kristi and James were left standing on the field by themselves. James started to walk toward the changing rooms as well.

"Hey, James?" He stopped walking and turned around to face Kristi. She continued. "I'm really sorry about everything. I guess I just really liked you and… I know you didn't cheat on me. I kind of get possessive and it was especially hard because I knew that you always liked Lily Evans."

James smiled at her in a 'yeah, sorry' kind of way.

"So, please don't hate me," She finished sadly.

"I don't hate you, Kristi," James sighed. "I can understand why you could get possessive of me. Not only am I extremely attractive, a great Quidditch player, and incredibly charming, but I'm unattainable as well. I totally understand caring so much about somebody that you can't stand the idea of them with anyone else."

"Yeah, that's how you feel about Lily," Kristi sighed. "Don't worry James, she'll figure it out eventually. Just make sure you don't make a stupid mistake like I did with you."

"I'll keep that in mind," James grinned.

"So… you won't kick me off the team?" Kristi asked, dread in her voice.

"No. I just don't want this kind of thing to happen again." Kristi grinned back at him and they left the Quidditch pitch.

***

Despite the peace his talk with Kristi had brought the previous day, when Monday came, James was back to his usual pining. All his friends, even his ex-girlfriend, had told him to give it time with Lily, but he was finding that difficult to do. Especially while having to watch his best friends flirt easily over breakfast. Sirius was failing at being subtle about groping Remus under the table and Remus kept blushing and shoving him away. James understood this routine of theirs. Be as cute as possible without alerting the many watching girls to their relationship. Usually he could enjoy laughing at them with Peter, but Peter was also being ridiculously cute with his 5th year.

"Heather," Peter asked her. "What is your favourite flower?"

"Hmmm… Daisies," She answered. He then conjured a bouquet of daises and held them out to her.

"Nice, Peter," James rolled his eyes. Heather however looked sincerely pleased. This bugged James. "You can conjure flowers. What mastership."

James then conjured about a hundred lilies and levitated them around the Gryffindor table. He didn't even bother looking to know that the girl he wished to please was irritated. He could hear her groan from down the table.

"Mr. Pettigrew?" McGonagall called approaching her students where they sat eating breakfast.

"Sorry, Professor, the flowers are mine," James muttered. "Don't get mad at Peter."

"Of course these flowers are yours, Mr. Potter," She said, unsmiling. "They are lilies, aren't they? No, I did not come over to reprimand your attempts at romance. I need to speak to Mr. Pettigrew actually."

James looked at the professor in astonishment. Did everyone know about how much he loved Lily? Had he really been that pathetically obvious throughout the years? He ducked his head, feeling a way he hardly _ever_ felt: embarrassed.

Peter, mildly amused that James had finally understand embarrassment, stood up and nodded to McGonagall. He then followed her out of the Great Hall.

"What's up, Professor?" McGonagall shook her head, to silence Peter.

"We will talk in my office. Your sister is there waiting for us."

"Helen? Is she okay?" Peter asked concerned. McGonagall pursed her lips and glanced sideways at Peter with pity in her eyes, but didn't answer.

Before Peter had a chance to freak out and demand information, they were entering McGonagall's office. He spotted his sister sitting at the desk, completely fine except for looking as confused and anxious as Peter felt.

"Sit down, please," McGonagall sighed as she took her place on the other side of the desk. Peter obeyed and sat next to his sister. He looked at his teacher expectantly.

"I have some bad news for you," She told them. "Would you like some tea? Or a biscuit?"

The two teenagers shook their heads and exchanged glances.

"Just tell us what is going on, Professor," Helen demanded. McGonagall sighed and started to talk.

" I'm not sure if you knew, but your father was working for He Who Must Not Be Named and last night, he was on a mission with a few other Death Eaters. They were trying to assassin somebody from an anti-Death Eater organization and, naturally this person defended himself. A few others were called to help assist the person who was attacked and, well, I'm not sure of the details, but your father was hit by a killing curse. I'm very sorry; your father is dead.

" If your father had not been a casualty of this duel, I believe that there would have been a trial, and your father would have been placed in Azkaban. Since this was not the case, your family has been reimbursed for his death and the Ministry offers their apologies. A Ministry official was sent to the school, but Dumbledore thought it more fitting if I told you the news. He seemed to think the Ministry Official would not be very kind.

"Your Father's wife is being closely watched to see if she has any alliance to the Death Eaters. If you have any information on your step mother's alliances, the Ministry has asked that you give it to them. You have been instructed to write them a letter within the week. I am very sorry for your loss, and you are excused from classes for the day. If you need to go to see Madam Pomphrey for shock, she will of course, understand. If you feel the need for more time off, just say the word and I'll ensure all your Professors will have the greatest sympathy."

Professor McGonagall stopped talking and a silence fell upon the three of them for a few moments in which Peter stared blankly at the wall behind the desk. Helen broke the silence with a question.

"Where is our Mother?" Her voice sounded hollow and lost.

McGonagall's voice was drenched in pity as she answered, "She is being interviewed at the Ministry of Magic. Do not worry; she is being taken care of. I believe her sister is with her."

Silence fell again. Peter felt claustrophobic and stood up, his chair scraping the stone floor loudly.

"May I be excused?" He asked softly. "I'll be in my dormitory if that is okay."

Before McGonagall could nod, he left.

The halls were silent as he walked away. He knew that he had left his sister alone, but he couldn't bother to care. She would be taken care of. He just needed to escape the pity and the questions that had filled the office. He needed to decide how he felt.

***

James walked through the crowded corridors a couple days later after his Potions class. Remus and Sirius had said they were going to the library (though James suspected they'd really gone to find an empty classroom) leaving James to return to Gryffindor tower alone. It was odd walking alone; over the past five and a half years, there were only a handful of times that he could remember going to and from classes without at least one of the other Marauders.

It was harder than he'd originally thought it would be to have two of his best friends in a relationship. He knew that Sirius was still his best friend, that they were still 'Padfoot and Prongs, the charming and handsome dynamic duo of Gryffindor,' but that didn't change the fact that Sirius was spending more time alone with Remus. James didn't begrudge him for it; he was glad that his friends were happy.

'_Which is why you need to stop this,' _he told himself sternly. '_You are not being replaced. It's just different. You don't want to shag either of them, so stop feeling jealous.'_

"James!"

James turned to see who had called his name. Pushing through the crowds of uniform clad students in an attempt to catch up with him were Allie and Kate. James stopped and waited for them to reach him before continuing his way to the tower.

"Hey, ladies," James said, pushing his forlorn thoughts away with his usual cocky smile. "And how may I assist you today?"

"Oh, shut it, you prat," Kate teased as she swatted his head.

"Hey!" James objected, "You're messing up my hair!"

"Your hair couldn't be more messed up if you tried," Allie laughed.

"I know of several ways it could be messier. Care to try?" James asked with a wink.

"Sorry, love," Allie replied, "But I'm taken. Besides, you're not my type."

"Is that so?" James inquired, "Pray, _love_, what is your type?"

"The athletic type in blue-trimmed robes," Kate smirked. This time it was she who received a swat.

"So, James," Allie said, changing the topic, "Where are you off to?"

"Back to Gryffindor tower," he replied easily.

"Where are your normal hordes of friends and admirers?" Kate asked.

"Well," James said, "Sirius and Remus are... studying? Peter is, I believe, in our dormitory. Since he's not in Potions, he had a free period."

"How is Peter?" Allie asked quietly so that James could barely hear her over the bustle. Kate stopped wondering why Sirius was studying and also became concerned about Peter.

"He's dealing," James answered slowly, "He hasn't talked about it much. He's quiet about that type of thing. Not like Sirius or me. But Peter, when he's upset, becomes more withdrawn than even Moony."

"Oh dear..." Allie uttered as a concerned expression formed on her face. "That's not good."

"No," James agreed with a sigh, "It's not. But there isn't much I can do about it. If he doesn't want to talk, he doesn't want to talk."

"You're such a guy!" Kate exclaimed. "If he hasn't talked about it and claims that he doesn't want to, then he probably really needs to."

"Oh..." James ran his hands through his hair.

"You should talk to him," Allie suggested, "You're one of his best friends."

"I don't know," James said. He struggled to put his reasons for his apprehension into words. "Neither of us are really that sentimental."

"It's not about being sentimental," Kate retorted. "It's about grieving. He can't just hold it in. It'll eat him away."

"What about Padfoot or Moony? Remus would probably be better at it than I," James admitted.

"Maybe," Allie replied. "But that's if the experiences of all you boys were the same. Sirius couldn't care less about what happens to his father. Remus would probably be able to talk to him, but he can only offer sympathy. You can offer empathy."

"And empathy," Kate added, "is probably what Peter needs most right now. Empathy and somebody to force him to talk."

James nodded. Allie and Kate were right. Peter was one of his best friends and if he could do anything to stop this from eating away at his heart, he would.

***

James found Peter lying on his bed and staring silently at the ceiling. He seemed to not have heard his friend enter the room for he made no acknowledgement of James' presence.

"Wormtail?" James said quietly as he shut the door and went to sit down on his bed, "How are you doing?"

Peter made a noncommittal noise.

"You know," James tried again, "if you want to talk, I'm a good listener."

"No you're not," Peter answered monotonically.

"Well, I can try. I'm willing to. You're one of my best mates, I don't want to see you suffer."

"I've told you, I'll be fine," Peter said with a sigh. "I don't want to talk about it. You wouldn't understand."

"I can try to," James insisted, "I don't know what I'd do if my dad died."

"No, you don't," Peter agreed. He sat up on his bed to face James before he continued. "But you wouldn't be torn as to how to feel. Your dad is one of the good guys. My dad was killed by the good guys."

"Maybe it was a mistake," James offered weakly.

"It wasn't," Peter countered. "I know he was in with the Death Eaters. He's been trying to get me to join 'The Cause' as well."

"You never told us that!" James exclaimed. "You said that he was a supporter, but never that he was actually in."

"My mom wanted to keep it quiet," Peter sighed. "But that's pointless now that it's been all over the _Prophet_ that he was involved in a Death Eater operation. What are people going to think of me? Of Helen?"

"I'm sorry," James said. He didn't know what else to say. But, it seemed to James that now that Peter had started talking, the flow of words was just coming. So, James pulled on every listening ability he had and let his friend rant.

"You have no idea how I feel, James. You wouldn't be going between relieved that there's one less of _them, _that your family name was no longer tainted with _them_ and being sad that your dad had died. And it's not like I can hate him the way Sirius does, because I'm just not Sirius!"

"Nobody said you have to hate him," James replied quietly. "He was your dad; you're allowed to love him, even if he was wrong. It doesn't change the fact that he was your father."

"But I don't know if I love him, either," Peter whispered. "He left us, he hurt my mother and Helen, and he joined up with the people who want to get rid of muggleborns like Lily and... and Heather. How can I even have the right to love him after all of that?"

"Because love doesn't always make sense," James answered.

"But I don't even know if I love him or if it's all just out of some sort of duty, that I owe him for being my father, that I have a duty to follow where he left off because he was my dad." Peter closed his eyes and let his head fall down, resting in his hands. It was all getting to be too much. He didn't want to love his father, but he didn't want to hate him. He didn't want to join the Death Eaters, but what if that was what was expected of him now?

"You don't owe him your love unless you think he's deserved it," James said slowly, "And you don't have any sort of duty to join up now that he's gone. That was his choice. You make your own choices; you aren't your father."

"What about my family?" Peter asked, for the first time expressing aloud what had been plaguing his thoughts since McGonagall had told him what had happened. "What about my mum and Helen? What if they go after them if I don't join them?"

"I don't think they will," James tried to reassure him. "They probably don't even expect you to join. You're not even of age!"

"What if they do, Prongs?" Peter insisted, lifting his head from his hands and meeting James' hazel eyes with his own. "What if it's the only way to keep them safe?"

"Stop that," James said, his eyes widening. Was Peter really suggesting this? No... His friend was just grieving. But terrible things could come from grief. James wracked his mind, trying to think of some alternative, something that would serve as an equal in keeping Peter's family safe, something that wouldn't require his friend to acquire the most loathsome set of robes the Wizarding World knew of. To whom could they go? Who had the ability, the magical power, to match or even surpass the rising darkness of Lord Voldemort?

"Dumbledore!" James exclaimed suddenly.

"What?" Peter asked, taken aback.

"Dumbledore!" James repeated.

"I'm not sure I'm following you, mate," Peter said, looking at his friend as though he'd swallowed a babbling draught.

"Dumbledore will know how to keep your family safe," James explained quickly. "We'll go to Dumbledore. We'll tell him everything and I'm sure he'll be able to find a way to keep your family safe. He's the most powerful wizard of the century! And I think... I think I've overheard my parents talking about things he's done to counter Voldemort. I'm sure he'll be able to help."

"You think?" Peter asked. For the first time in days he looked hopeful. "Do you really think he'll be able to help? To keep them safe?"

"I do."

"Good," Peter answered. He laughed weakly, "Because I really, _really _didn't want to join with the Death Eaters. You know that, right?"

"I do," James said again. "You're not that kind of person, Wormtail. Let's go."

***

"How do we get in?" Peter asked twenty minutes later as he and James stood outside the gargoyle that guarded the door to the Headmaster's office.

"I think there's a password," James answered absently as he looked up and down the corridors, hoping for the first time in his life to see a professor.

"I may not be as bright as you, Prongs," Peter sighed, "But I'm not too stupid to know that. I meant, what is the password?"

"I don't know. It's probably some complicated post-NEWT level spell name," James theorized.

"Or some obscure ancient wizard," Peter lamented.

"Or, perhaps," a voice sounded from behind the two boys, "sugar quills."

The gargoyle sprung aside, leaving behind a doorway into a spiral staircase. James and Peter stood in silent surprise as Dumbledore walked past them and to the door.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Pettigrew?" Dumbledore asked, stopping to face them before stepping onto the staircase.

"Y-yes, Professor?" Peter stuttered.

"Are you going to come along? I can only assume that the reason you were standing outside my office was because you wished to talk with me."

"Yes, Professor," James confirmed, "We did. Do you have time?"

"Yes, I do. Follow me." He beckoned for them to follow after him into the raising staircase; they did.

Neither Peter nor James had ever been in the Headmaster's office before. They had never seen the portrait covered walls or the cases full of whirring delicate instruments. They looked around, amazed. Both of them had always thought that, if they were to see it, it would have been due to crossing some invisible line in their pranking. They'd never expected that they would go there of their own accord, and certainly not without Remus and Sirius. But, their lives were changing. The world outside of Hogwarts was getting darker. Talking to a professor of their own choice suddenly didn't seem as catastrophic as it may have just months ago.

"Please, take a seat," Dumbledore said as he sat in his own chair behind. With a wave of his wand, two plain, but rather comfortable looking chairs appeared opposite him. James and Peter did as they were told. Before Dumbledore could inquire as to why the two Gryffindor 6th years wanted to speak with him, however, a flash of scarlet caught James' eye.

"Professor," he gasped, "you have a phoenix?"

"Yes, I do," Dumbledore replied, smiling as he reached out his arm. The giant bird flew from his perch near the window and landed on the old man's arm surprisingly lightly. "His name is Fawkes. I've had him for several years now. I'm quite fond of him."

"But those are very rare," James said, still staring.

"Yes, indeed they are," Dumbledore nodded, his eyes twinkling. "He is incredibly intelligent and very useful. I am quite fond of him. But, I do not believe that you came to my office to discuss Fawkes. Unless, that is, I am severely mistaken."

"No, you were not mistaken," James answered. "We actually came here to talk to you about Peter's family."

"Ah, I see," Dumbledore said, shiftinghis gaze towards the other boy. "This is not completely unexpected, though I cannot say that I could've predicted your coming. Well, Mr. Pettigrew, what about your family would you like to talk about?"

"I-I want them t-to be safe," Peter said, tripping over his words. He was nervous. He'd never had a conversation with the headmaster, before, and Dumbledore's bright blue eyes seemed to be examining him quite thoroughly.

"Quite understandable," Dumbledore agreed. "Please, go on."

"Well, I don't want to join the Death Eaters," Peter said, starting to talk quickly, "But my dad wanted me to before he... before he died. And I think they want me to, too. You know, as a sort of family thing. But I don't want to join them! But I don't want them to go after my mum and Helen to try to get me to join. I want them to stay safe. I can't lose them. I love them. But You-Know-Who is so powerful. I don't know what to do. James... James said that maybe you'd be able to help."

"Mr. Potter was, indeed, correct," Dumbledore started, not taking his eyes from Peter's. "I can help. I can, perhaps, offer the best help available. I do not believe that you are wrong. In fact, I quite agree that the Death Eaters would want you on their side and they would use extreme measure to coerce you into joining. I'm pleased that you see that there are other options."

"What can you do?" Peter asked.

"The anti-Death Eater group that was targeted by your father and other Death Eaters is, in fact, a group started by me. It is called The Order of the Phoenix. It is a secret group dedicated to countering Lord Voldemort. We are small, but we are growing. And, more importantly, we are strong. We have people placed in the ministry, both as Aurors and doing desk jobs."

"And... and this group can help keep my family safe?" Peter asked.

"Yes, it can," Dumbledore answered. "Because I think that you're correct, I will place Order of the Phoenix members who act as Aurors on duty to act as a type of body guards to make sure that no Death Eaters come near your mother. The same will apply to your sister while she isn't at school."

"And what about when she is at school?" Peter asked.

"When she's at school she will not only have several of the best witches and wizards that England has to offer surrounding her, but members of the Order of the Phoenix as well. And, of course, me."

"Which teachers are members?" James asked suddenly.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore answered, turning back to James with a slight smile on his face, "But I am afraid that I cannot disclose that information. Membership of the group is secret, for obvious reasons. Only other members know who else is involved. And, even then, some secrets are maintained."

"I'll join, then." James said, and the look on his face was defiant. He stared into Dumbledore's eyes, almost as if daring him to disagree.

"Again, I must apologise to you, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said with a sad smile, "But I cannot possibly allow you to join the Order of the Phoenix."

"Why not? I'm at the top of my class and I'm quick learner. I want to help fight against Voldemort!" James argued.

"I do not doubt that," Dumbledore consented. "But, the fact remains that you are not yet of age. Do not interrupt me – I know you will be seventeen in a few weeks. But you are still a student. You've recently suffered loss and you're upset and angry. I could not, in any way, accept you as a member of the Order."

"That's not--" James started to say.

"However," Dumbledore continued, "I will reconsider your wish to join when you graduate. You as well, Mr. Pettigrew, if you wish."

"Yes, Sir," Peter said, "Anything. I would... I will do anything."

"I will do everything that I can as well," Dumbledore assured him, "But now, I do have another appointment that I must attend to. Thank you, Mr. Potter and Mr. Pettigrew." Dumbledore waved a hand to dismiss them and turned to a pile of papers. Peter and James thanked him and, after exchanging a quick affirmative glance with each other, left the office.

***

"Hello, Marauders," James said loudly knocking on the door to their dormitory. He walked in after a few seconds, giving his roommates time to get off each other. As he walked in, he realized he was correct in his assumption that his friends would be being intimate. Luckily, however, they were both wearing clothes. They sat up on Sirius' bed and greeted the entering boys.

"We should work out a sock system," Peter suggested. "If anyone is doing something dirty in the dormitory, put a sock on the doorknob. But please, try to find a different place to… yeah… because the dorm _is _a shared space."

Sirius and Remus agreed blushingly and Peter and James sat on the bed opposite them.

"So," James started in a new, solemn and serious tone. "I've been thinking a lot about Voldemort lately. He's really touching our lives and not in a good way…"

"Now that my Dad is dead, I'm responsible for protecting my family," Peter took over. "Me and James went to talk to Dumbledore."

"We learned that there is a way to not just sit idly by and watch all this stuff that is happening," James went on. "Sirius, ever since I've known you, you have hated the views your family has about muggleborns and blood status. You can't stand that your brother is part of that and –"

"I know," Sirius interrupted. "What is it that we can do? I'm as eager to fight this shit as anyone."

Remus took a breath and said what they all knew, but seemed to fail to acknowledge. "This isn't just shit. This is a war on its way. We're safe at Hogwarts and it's so easy to just get caught up in our own lives that I'm not sure if you guys realize how big this is. We're sixteen years old. There's nothing we can do. This wouldn't just be rebelling against school rules; it would be taking a stand against a very powerful wizard. One that wouldn't think twice about killing four self righteous school boys."

Peter swallowed loudly, but James looked determined.

"You're right about that last bit, Remus, but maybe you don't quite get all of it. My family has been killed and Peter's family was ripped apart and Sirius was disowned. I would say that this _is_ our lives and we wouldn't be fighting because of great ambitions or glorified self images. We would be fighting for our lives." James' was dead serious and the effect of such a usually care free guy set on something, well it really spoke to the other boys. Remus set his jaw and nodded.

"I agree," He said. "We have to do something. Forgive me for playing devil's advocate."

"No, it's okay, Moony," James gave him a sad smile. "It's not a light decision. We have time to think."

"But, time to think before what?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"Before we graduate and can choose whether or not to join the force that fights against Voldemort. Before we're old enough to join the Order of the Phoenix."

.

[A/N: So... what did you think? Are your opinions on characters changing? Is the pacing okay? What would you like to see more of? Less of? Tell us you exist! Love, Liebe.]


	18. Missions Accomplished

The next couple weeks were hard on everybody. Even after his talk with Dumbledore, Peter remained more withdrawn than usual. The Marauders were putting every effort they could into distracting him from his worries and cheering him up. Whenever one of them noticed their friend looking particularly downtrodden, they would fire a (relatively) harmless, albeit amusing, jinx at some unsuspecting student. Even the most creative ambushes, such as charming quills to follow a second year Hufflepuff girl around, splotching her with ink, however, hardly got more than a grin or a weak chuckle out of Peter.

The reemergence of the Marauder's mischievous antics were not, however, unnoticed by all. As their attempts to bring Peter out of his growing shell became more elaborate, Lily's angry glares towards the lot of them increased. After two weeks of growing chaos, Lily pulled Remus aside and demanded that he stop his friends' ridiculous behaviour at once.

"No, Lily," Remus said to her after enduring her near shouting accusations of his failure as a Prefect and his duty to keep his friends in check, "I won't tell James and Sirius to cut it out. We aren't doing this to entertain ourselves. We're doing this for Peter. We're trying to help our friend."

"And you think attacking innocent second years is the way to do that?" She demanded.

"I think that we know Peter a lot better than you do," Remus answered. "We aren't hurting them, either. Most of them laugh after they get over their initial anger or embarrassment."

"Fine," Lily said in a huff, "But if anybody ends up in the Hospital Wing, I will report you."

"You do that," Remus replied, surprising both himself and Lily. "But I know, and James and Sirius know, that making sure our best friend isn't hurting is definitely worth a couple of detentions. Besides, Lily, you should know by now that I usually do my best to put a stop to their more… ambitious schemes."

Lily, while not completely satisfied, had agreed. Even she had to admit that what they were doing wasn't that bad. At least, not compared to darker things going on both inside and outside of Hogwarts.

Each day, the _Daily Prophet_, brought more news of attacks, death, and disappearances. It was not uncommon to see the stricken face of a student who had just read about somebody they knew being involved in the strikes against muggles, muggleborns, and halfbloods. Each and every of the horrible happenings were being linked to Voldemort and the Death Eaters.

The group of Slytherins that everybody knew, though nobody had any evidence, aspired to become Death Eaters upon Graduation were also acting up. These first few weeks were not only sprinkled with the amusing pranks of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but also with darker and more sinister jokes aimed solely at muggleborns. It soon became worth a month of detentions and possible suspension to perform any type of painful or bordering-on-dark hex on another student. This, however, didn't stop the name calling, taunting, and malicious glares.

There was one thing, however, that managed to take everybody's minds off the looming darkness outside of the castle, even Peter's. That was the upcoming Quidditch match between Hufflepuff and Gryffindor.

The morning was bright and clear, again: a perfect day for Quidditch. James was optimistic as he addressed his team in the changing room, minutes before the start of the game.

"Okay, team," he said in a confident voice, "we have this match. I know we thought that we had Ravenclaw last fall, but we lost that match. This is our chance to redeem ourselves. And, if we win this by enough, we still have a chance at the Quidditch Cup! Don't give up. Fight for this game as you have never fought before.

"Hufflepuff is good this year. They are all excellent athletes and superb fliers. But, so are we. We are matched with them in every way. What it will come down to is who wants it more. We have to be the team that wants it more. They'll play fair, but they'll play hard. It all hinges on us playing harder.

"I want us all to focus on the game and nothing else. Kate, this is your chance to prove to your boyfriend which of you is the better Keeper. Kristi, Jade, listen for my calls during the game. We are going to put some of our new plays into use. Angela, we'll try to keep the score up as high as possible, but I'm not going to lie. The win will indubitably come down to your seeking ability. The Hufflepuff Seeker is a 3rd year, so you have four years of experience on him. But he must be good if he made the team. Eric and Jason, keep those Bludgers away from us and towards the players in yellow or else we have no chance of winning. This is a team effort, you guys. We all have to put in everything we have. We can win this. Let's do it."

James looked around at each of his team members. All of their faces were set in the same determination that James felt within himself. With one last nod, he led his team out of the changing rooms and onto the Quidditch Pitch.

"Captains, shake hands. Teams, take your positions," Madame Hooche said after releasing the four balls. James flashed a cocky smile at Caleb and shook his hand. All the yellow and red clad players fell into their places. Glancing to make sure all the students had listened to her, Madame Hooche raised her whistle to her lips and blew. Fourteen brooms rose into the air and dispersed. The game had started.

"Hufflepuff in possession!" the commentator's voice rang out. James searched the field until he saw a yellow blur with the muted red hurtling towards Kate. He leaned forward and sped up, but was too late.

"Mary Davis of Hufflepuff shoots! And it's blocked by Gryffindor Keeper, Kate Brown, who sends it nicely back to Gryffindor captain and chaser, James Potter!"

"Nice save!" James yelled as he turned his broom and headed down the middle of the field towards the other end. He could see Jade and Kristi on either side of him, watching him carefully and dodging any Hufflepuff players who tried to veer them off course.

"Ambush!" James shouted, instigating the first planned play of the game. He, Kristi, and Jade converged into a single flying mass. After a couple of seconds, they split, each flying towards one of the Hufflepuff goal posts.

"And, after a tricky little play by Potter, Gryffindor is still in possession. The Quaffle is with Potter, Alith, or Verden. I cannot tell."

All three Chasers were hurled around something, appearing to each hold the ball. Caleb looked back and forth between the three nervously. At the last minute, Kristi revealed that she had the Quaffle, but it was too late. Caleb had gone to block James.

"Gryffindor scores!" Cheers erupted from the scarlet clad fans.

"That's in, Prongs!" Sirius shouted, "Way to trick the birds!"

"They're badgers, not birds!" Peter shouted over the roar.

"But they're in canary yellow," Sirius replied with a wink.

Peter shook his head and turned back to watching the game with Heather. The Quaffle was passing between the players so quickly that, were it not for the commentary, he wouldn't have had any idea which team held possession.

"Potter, Alith, Potter, interception by Davis, Brookins, back to Verden, Altih, Verden, Potter, Potter shoots and scores! 20-0 to Gryffindor!"

The game continued like this for over an hour with no sign of the snitch, though both Angela and the Hufflepuff Seeker Joseph Anderson had made several feints and there had been several false alarms. As James had said, Hufflepuff's team was good. But, Gryffindor was just better enough. As the Quaffle passed from player to player like a timed dung bomb, Bludgers were sent with alarming speed and accuracy to attempt to knock Quaffle from arms and players from broomsticks.

"I wish they'd let me commentate," Sirius complained as he watched James score again, bringing the score to 170-140 to Gryffindor.

"What's wrong with the guy doing it?" Remus asked, glancing at the Ravenclaw fifth year standing in the stands by Professor McGonagall.

"He's just saying the names. It's boring." Sirius replied.

"I'm pretty sure that's the way it's supposed to be. The commentary isn't supposed to be more entertaining than the game." Remus laughed.

"I don't think that McGonagall would ever let you commentate," Peter pointed out, "Not after that cheer you led in the game against Ravenclaw."

"It was a good cheer!" Sirius protested. He turned to Remus, "It was a good cheer, wasn't it, Moony?"

Remus looked at his boyfriend and rolled his eyes. Sirius could be immature, careless, and quite the opposite of Remus in many ways. But, he was Sirius, carefree and wild. Remus didn't think there was anything that would be able to change this nature of his friend and lover. And he was glad.

"I wouldn't answer that, Moony," Peter said cheekily. "Or, if you do, I'd be very careful." Remus, trying not to blush, turned back to the game.

A few rows ahead of the two couples sat the 7th year girls. The three of them sported gold and yellow scarves and they were all cheering quite loudly for their housemates.

"Come on, James!" Allie shouted as loud as she could as James sped once more towards the Hufflepuff goal posts. His shot was blocked, however, causing Allie to swear loudly.

"Allie!" Lily exclaimed, turning to her friend in shock, "Since when do you care about how we do in Quidditch this much?"

"Since I made a wager with Josh over which team would win," Allie replied, not taking her eyes off the field.

"Since when do you bet?" Maia asked surprise.

"Since Josh told me there was no way Hufflepuff would lose," Allie answered. "Come on Kate! Block it! Yes!"

Kate had once again blocked the Quaffle from passing through the hoops, this time with her foot, and she kicked the ball to Jade who caught it and sped off.

"What did you bet?" Lily asked.

Allie hesitated, but was saved from answering as a hush fell over the crowd. Angela and Joseph were, once again, racing towards ground at the far end of the pitch. But, this time it was clear that it was neither feint nor false alarm. Joseph had seen the snitch. He was a good three yards ahead of Angela. She was gaining on him by the second, but she wasn't doing so quickly enough.

Joseph was five feet from the fluttering golden ball; Angela was a yard behind.

Four feet; a foot was between Joseph's broom and Angela's.

Three feet and he stretched out his harm; Angela was at the tail of his broom.

Wham! Eric had shot a Bludger towards the Hufflepuff Seeker and it hit the front end of Joseph's broom. Angela swerved out of the way as her competitor was knocked off course. She reached out her arm.

"And Angela Miller catches the snitch for Gryffindor's win! Three hundred and twenty points to one hundred and forty!"

***

The week following the Gryffindor victory was probably one of the best ever, for the Marauders and their fellow Gryffindors. The mood around the castle had been hostile and sullen for weeks as tensions grew and death toll was rising, but somehow, when you're at Hogwarts, everything can seem safe and good. Especially if you're best friends with a Quidditch star or happened to make a bet with your boyfriend about who would win.

Nobody was more pleased than James, however. The team he'd been working so hard all year had played better than he´d hoped. As they had over a month before their final match against Slytherin, James gave his team the week off from practice, promising that they'd resume with full force as soon as everybody was rested up.

Allie and Josh were quickly turning into the school's favourite couple. Perhaps that is what led Sirius Black to talk to his secret lover in their dormitory that night. Or perhaps he was just getting impatient.

"Moony, it's nearly time to go down for supper! James and Peter said they'd meet us in the Great Hall." Sirius called as he walked into the quiet dorm.

Remus was lying on his bed with a book and the rest of the dorm was empty. The werewolf smiled and placed his book on his bedside table. He stood up and grabbed his boyfriend by the tie, pulling him to topple on top of him on the scarlet bed spread. The two boys pressed their lips and bodies desperately together. Remus nipped lightly on Sirius' bottom lip, eliciting a sigh of delight.

"Hello," he whispered, smiling at the scarred and beautiful boy beneath him. "Having a good day?"

"Yeah," Remus answered sneaking his icy hands up Sirius' white oxford. "Pretty good,"

Those cold fingers made Sirius shiver as they ran across his toned muscles. Sirius was used to Remus' poor circulation and somehow, those cold hands always warmed him up immensely.

"I love you, Remus," Sirius sighed, grinding his hips down.

"I…" Remus pulled back and bit his lip. Sirius knew that, for some reason, it was hard for Remus to say. It hurt a bit, but Sirius was so happy with just being together, that he didn't need to hear it. He wondered why Remus was pausing this time, as if the statement was a shock. Sirius was constantly whispering reminders, they usually just made Remus smile. Hoping to avoid disaster, he leaned down to kiss Remus. The other boy kissed him back passionately, but then pulled back again.

"Sirius," Remus whispered looking up at intense grey eyes. "I love you."

"Really?" Sirius asked. "You don't have to say it if you don't mean it."

"That's why I haven't said it yet. I wanted to be sure. I am. I love you. I am seriously in love with you."

Sirius grinned and squeezed his lover closer to him. Remus rolled him onto his side so that they were lying facing each other. After simply staring at each other and letting their hands wander across each other's bodies, Sirius sighed and started talking. At the same time, Remus also started to say the same words.

"I wish—" They both cut themselves off. Sirius gave a short bark of laughter and motioned for Remus to continue.

"I-I was just going to, to say…" Remus stumbled over his words, "I wish I could hold your hand in public. It's torture only touching you when we're alone."

Sirius looked at the other boy with amusement and astonishment.

"Go ahead!" Sirius laughed aloud as he sat up. "I wish I could scream to everyone how in love I am with you. I would snog you in bunch of a ton of Slytherins! I would… make Remus flowers float around the Gryffindor table! I would tell my mother that not only am I a Gryffindor, but I'm a GAY one at that. One in love with a WEREWOLF! I would—"

"Okay, okay," Remus chuckled as he too sat up to calm down the over excited other boy. "Let's not go crazy. But… I am ready to come out."

Sirius jumped off the bed and took Remus' hand. He then, pulled the other boy out of the dorm. They did not let go of each other's hands as they walked past the few students who were in the common room.

"Where are we going?" Remus asked, amused by the huge grin on Sirius' face.

"Where do you think?" Sirius answered. "I already said we're meeting the others in the Great Hall for supper."

"Oh," Remus blinked and stopped walking suddenly in the middle of the corridor. "So, are we just going to… be out now?"

"Yeah," Sirius shrugged. "I guess so. Is that okay?"

"Y-yeah," Remus stuttered. "I mean, I just said I wanted to, right?"

"Are you sure?" Sirius checked. "I don't want you do something you aren't comfortable with."

"No," Remus assured him. "I'm sure. The whole point is being comfortable, right? But… don't make a dumb announcement, okay? Let's just be us. They'll just work it out on their own; the same way they worked out that Heather and Peter are an item. The way we all deduced that Allie and Josh are together."

Sirius nodded happily and they walked off to the Great Hall, fingers still intertwined.

Throughout the rest of the week, word spread. Everyone saw them holding hands as they walked through hallways, or as they shared kisses in between classes, they openly referred to each other as "my boyfriend". Most people were indifferent, albeit surprised, but others were more hostile. There were a few girls whose hearts had broken when Sirius coming out the previous year who were devastated yet again, by another good looking boy being off limits. They were harmless enough; all they ever did was look pouty and perhaps mutter disappointments.

Maia and Allie could be found comforting these devastated girls, as Allie was finally over being dumped by Remus, and Maia, embarrassed though she was to admit it, had had a huge crush on Sirius in her 3rd and 4th years, before he came out as gay. Needless to say, they understood the trauma of liking a gay guy.

What were really angering though, were the really hateful people who just couldn't keep their opinions to themselves. Remus got hexed regularly in the corridors for the first few days until people realized that it was the same as when they had tried to harass Sirius. The attackers would find themselves bombarded with hexes sent by the other Marauders.

Lily would take tons of house points from anyone saying mean things and would take the time to lecture the offending students until they wished their ears would fall off. She even told off Severus and then went on to treat him like all of the other "immature, bigoted idiots." And Remus was happy. Gryffindor was looking good to win the Quidditch cup, the school at large knew about his relationship with Sirius, and he had the best friends a boy could want.

"You know," James said one evening to Peter, Sirius, and Remus as they sat sprawled around their dormitory, "I think that we should make use of the fact that I don't have Quidditch practice this week."

"It's your own fault you have practice every night; you're captain," Sirius pointed out, earning him a swat on the head.

"That is completely irrelevant, Padfoot," James retorted. "While I am aware that the lack of evening Marauding time we possess is my own fault, that doesn't mean that I cannot revel in open hours to which we can dedicate ourselves."

"What did you have in mind?" Peter asked, eagerly.

"Remember that map we are making?" James asked his friends. They all nodded. Since James had suggested it several months earlier, they'd compiled all their knowledge of the castle, its secret passageways, and trick staircases onto several pieces of parchment. The four boys had tried to work on it consistently, but what with the increase in coursework, James' resumed Quidditch matches, and Peter's father's death, it'd been pushed to the side of late. After looking around at his friends, he continued, "Well, I think we've really drawn out this process for too long. I think that it's high time we finished the task we have painstakingly been working on all year."

"Can we do it, do you think?" Peter inquired.

"Can we do it?" James repeated, a shocked expression on his face. "But of course we can do it, Wormtail! We have all the information we need. All we have to do is make the final sketch and charm it!"

"Well, then," Sirius said as he stood up, "What are we waiting for?" He grabbed the cloak from its hiding place under James' four poster bed and the four of them hurried down the stairs and through the Common Room to the portrait hole, too excited to notice the curious glances sent their way by Lily and Maia who sat studying by the fire.

Within ten minutes James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus stood in the Room of Requirement. The room had made itself into the perfect place for the four boys to work on their map. In the center was a large oak table with many quills and ink wells. The chairs at the table were practical, but comfortable: perfect for sitting in for long periods of time. One bookshelf sat against the wall. Upon entering the room, Remus walked over to it and saw that it contained several charms books as well as Hogwarts layout plans.

"We should allocate tasks," James declared.

"What do you mean?" came Peter's question.

"Well," James explained, "two of us should work on copying all of our rough sketches into a final draft on clean parchment and the other two should looking into spells to enhance it's features."

"Sounds good, Prongsie," Sirius grinned. "Who should do what?"

"I think that you should definitely not work on the copying," James answered. "Your handwriting isn't that great and you can be messy. We want this to go as quickly, and neatly, as possible."

"Then you should probably do that," Remus said. "You have the best handwriting of all of us."

"Indeed he does," Sirius agreed, doing his best to mimic James' carefully structured speech. "I do believe it's a product of his pureblood upbringing."

"And no attempts to rebel against it," James added.

"So," Peter continued, "That leaves me and Moony. Moony should do the research, I'm no good at that type of thing."

"Excellent," James concurred. "And that means that you'll help me with the layout! We just have to make sure that Padfoot and Moony actually do research."

"But, Prongs," Sirius complained, "I'm no good at research. I'd much rather snog my boyfriend."

"And I'd much rather finish this map. Just read whichever book Moony puts in front of you," James directed. "And, please, for Merlin's sake, don't get too distracted."

For the rest of the week they spent hours each night in the Room of Requirement. James, utilizing patience he didn't know he possessed, had perfectly hand-copied each and every sketch onto a single piece of parchment while Peter carefully dried the ink to prevent it from smearing. Remus and Sirius had been good about staying focused, but only after James had looked up to see them snogging passionately and asked them, in a very serious tone, whether they'd rather not be able to claim their ownership of the map. After that they'd been diligent as well, only stealing quick kisses when both James and Peter were thoroughly absorbed.

"Done!" James exclaimed on Friday night as he set down the quill and looked at his handiwork.

"Excellent," Remus said eagerly as he and Sirius came over to admire the lined parchment. "We've found some charms that we think will be useful. The first one we figured out how to track people so that we can see who is where. It's actually the most complicated charm, but I think we can manage it. Can I have the map?"

James hesitated.

"If it doesn't work, it's not going to mess up your pretty drawing," Sirius assured him.

"Okay, fine." James said, handing over the parchment, "but careful not to tear it."

Remus nodded and took the map from James.

"I'm going to do a modified tracking spell," Remus explained. "I have to charm it so that the physical locations are modeled accurately on the map. Then, a second charm allows the object, in this case the map, to locate every person within the vicinity selected and show their movements." He lifted his wand and waved it over the map. The parchment seemed to shimmer for a second before returning to its original muted brown.

"It looks the same," Peter said dully.

"That was the modeling spell," Sirius said. "If it looked different, that would've meant that Moony here had messed up."

"And now for the location and tracking part," Remus said. He pointed his wand at the map and, with a complicated figure eight spiral motion, said the incantation. Hundreds of dots appeared, each with a name by it. Mostly, they were clumped together in the common rooms at such high densities that it was difficult to make out single names, but there were some dots moving along the corridors.

"This," James whispered, unable to take his eyes off the map, "has got to be the most amazing thing I have ever seen."

"I could watch it forever," Peter said, eyes wide.

"Good job, Moony!"Sirius exclaimed quietly. "I have the best boyfriend in the world."

Remus rolled his eyes, "Come on you guys, we'll have ages to stare at that. But it's getting late and we have to finish it."

"What else are we doing?" Peter asked.

"Well," Sirius answered, pulling his eyes away from the map, "the way it is right now, any loser can see it. So we have to password protect it. It's an easy spell, but I figured that Prongs should be the one to come up with the password."

"Why me?" James asked in surprise.

"Because," Sirius said, "nobody talks the way you do half the time. If you make it up, it will be harder to guess."

"You're a prat," James retorted. "Do we want a password or a passphrase?"

"Probably a phrase," Remus said.

"And something to do with marauding," Peter added.

"Okay…" James said pensively. "I am a marauder… No, that's no good… I swear to mischief… I swear that I'm a marauder…No, that's no good either… No good… I swear that I am… no good? No… I swear that I am up to no good! That works! Well… I firmly swear… I indubitably swear…"

"Solemnly?" Peter suggested timidly.

"Yes!" James exclaimed. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good! Thank you, Wormtail!"

"Okay," Remus nodded. "That will open the map. Then, to close it?"

"Mischief managed," James replied easily.

"You're a smart one, Prongs," Sirius said in a mocking tone. "If only you'd apply, think how far you could go!"

"Oh, sod off," James retorted. "You're exactly the same, and you know it. Plus, I'm leading our year in half the classes!"

"And he's so humble, too," Peter laughed.

"Have I ever claimed modesty to be one of my several endearing traits?" James asked as he crossed his arms.

"Point," Peter agreed.

"I've password protected it," Remus cut in. "Now, if we want to see the map, all we have to do is tap it with our wands and say the pass phrase. When we're done, we wipe it with 'Mischief managed.'"

"Is it done?" James asked excitedly.

"Not quite," Sirius answered, and a glint came into his eyes. "We need to make sure that, on the sorry chance that our beloved map falls into the wrong hands, it cannot be used."

"We thought about charming it so that only people we give permission to may use it," Remus continued, "But we thought that, if many years down the road, it comes to future marauders that we have no knowledge of, they should be able to use it. If they can figure out the passphrase, then they're worthy of our map."

James and Peter nodded their agreement.

"However," Sirius said, "We still need to put one last touch on it. Remus found a charm that will work. If anybody incorrectly tries to open the map three times, they will receive personal insults from the four of us. Messers Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail, and Moony."

"Excellent," James breathed. "Go on, Moony!"

Remus obliged. The four of the boys stood staring at their completed master piece and knew their brilliance.

***

"Alright men," James announced to his friends as they lounged in their dormitory. "Tonight is the night to take our map on a test run. I say we take the cloak just in case, but I doubt we'll need it. Now, Remus you got the map? Great. Let the Marauding begin!"

After they took a roundabout way through the castle to avoid teachers or Peeves, they went through the hunchbacked witch and town the tunnel towards Honey Dukes. They snuck out of the closed Candy Shop and headed merrily down the dimly lit cobble stones. The streets were silent and the night air was brisk. Nobody was walking around them and most of the shops were closing early, far before night fell.

With light hearts, they ignored the abandoned, fearful atmosphere that Hogsmeade had been developing as the war progressed as they approached the cheerfully open yet, moderately empty Three Broomsticks.

"Hey Rosemerta," James winked as the four of them approached the bar. "You look absolutely gorgeous tonight. Is that a new jumper?"

The barmaid giggled and nodded. Remus rolled his eyes at James' antics and asked, "You have eyes for women besides Lily? Tsk tsk."

"Oh shove off," James laughed. "I'll be all Lily's as soon as she demands it. For now, I like to think I'm as good at flirting as Padfoot here."

"As good as moi?" Sirius huffed. "Unlikely."

Rosemerta, greatly amused with their conversation though she was had other people to serve. "So, boys, do you actually want to order something, or are you just here to see me?"

"Yes, Madam" James answered politely. "You're the reason, but I guess as we're here, we might as well order..."

"Cake!" Peter cheered. "It's celebratory."

Remus chuckled. "The map's first birthday?"

Peter nodded enthusiastically.

"And for the possible Quidditch cup!" James bobbed his head like a hyper little kid.

"And for Remus' coming out," Sirius added, sliding his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

"How about I get you something to toast with, as well?" Rosmerta suggested knowing full well that these boys would ask her for firewhiskey any moment. The boys nodded eagerly and settled into comfortable companionship.

"So, what are we going to do now that we aren't making the map?" Peter asked excitedly after they were served a large chocolate cake and numerous mugs of firewhiskey.

"You guys could actually study for once," joked Remus looking meaningfully at the two black hair boys. The two of them put on their most charming grins and shrugged.

"But, Moony," Sirius started.

"We don't _have_ to study. We're geniuses." James finished. Remus raised his eyebrows in return.

"So, you're giving up on impressing Lily with your newfound maturity, then?" Remus asked as Rosmerta handed them their drinks. James shrugged.

"I'm maturely prioritizing." Sirius ginned and slapped his best mate on the back.

"Good for you, Prongs, we don't really need another Moony in the group," Peter piped. "Besides, you _are_ a genius."

"And Moony, he's saying that we don't need another you, because nobody could ever be like you!" Sirius inserted, leaning in to kiss Remus.

"Oh, get a room!" James groaned, jokingly. Sirius, pleasantly buzzed at this point, hopped up and grabbed Remus' arm.

"Good idea!" he said as he pulled the amused boy outside into the cool March air.

"God…" James said gulping down firewhiskey. "Why does everyone insist on being so… cute. I never would've thought those two would ever turn into one of _those_ couples."

"So in love they make you want to vomit?" Peter asked, chuckling. "They aren't so bad. It's not like they use pet names or anything. And they don't Eskimo kiss as far as I know."

"I guess…" James sighed. "But you're hardly one to talk. You and Heather are like… cotton candy flavored dungbombs. You're so sweet it makes me sick."

"I take offense at that!" Peter laughed. "But you wouldn't know. You've never been able to be cute with the person you love."

"Thanks for that Peter," James scowled. Peter smiled apologetically and tried to make up for his stupid comment.

"But, everyone likes you!" James looked unimpressed by this information. Peter continued. "And Lily will eventually give in. If only because you're rich and powerful."

James' glare deepened and Peter bit his tongue. His eyes darted around in a way to fix the mistake. _Avoid issue_ the little voice(that sounded suspiciously like his father's) in the back of his head told him. _Distract him! Convince him you're completely loyal. Think! C'mon Peter, you can do it!_

"Maia and Kingsley!" He spouted. "You saw how they were earlier today. Not so cute anymore, right? I bet they'll break up soon. Not everyone but you is happily in love."

James rolled his eyes but smiled. Peter was a bit bluntly honest sometimes, but he tried to be a good friend. The two of them switched to talk about all the great uses of the new map and Peter decided to go through yet another play by play of the previous Quidditch match, for he knew there was nothing to mend a bruised ego and sense of loneliness than high praise and the comfortable topic of Quidditch.

Just outside, the other two boys were pressed against the side of the building, snogging and resisting the urge to tear each other's clothing off.

"I'm so happy, Remus," Sirius mumbled against the other boy's lips.

"Yeah?" Remus asked amused. "Me too. We should probably get back inside with the guys though."

"Yeah? Okay, fine." Sirius slurred. The two boys grinned and went back into the bar to drink, plot and be merry with their friends.


	19. Everything Changes

[A/N: Oh god, oh god, oh god! We didn't die and desert this fic! We are so so so so so so soooo sorry about the long long wait. See, we were going to combine this with the next chapter, but then it was too long and so there were issues. And also, sorry if you hate angst, but there is some of that in this story. It wasn't going to be that big of a section, but then it was and... Next chapter will be better me hopes. Anyways, we love: _Love-of-all-Anime, Jaccalax, Fun-Sized Kirk, SWaddict1986, Paul, any Emf2694,__! _So much. You are such inspirations. Anyways, Happy spring!

Disclaimer: Jo WOULD never ever write this. I never COULD write real Harry Potter. That is why I do not own Harry Potter... somehow JKR still manages to own me though... and my story... and my sister... anyways, disclaimed. :D

and, _finally......_

**Chapter ****19**

_everything changes__  
__everything falls apart__  
__can't stop to feel myself losing control__  
__but deep in my senses I know_

_-Sarah McLachlan, Stupid_

The Friday after the Marauder's celebratory trip to Hogsmeade, the four boys came down to the common room to find a crowd of people around the notice board. James smiled and pushed his way to the front of the queue. After quickly perusing the new announcement, he turned around and whooped.

"What is it, Prongs?" Sirius asked. "Did Lily put out a PSA that she doesn't despise you?"

"Lily doesn't despise me," James answered easily as he made his way back to his three friends. "It's a notice for the next Hogsmeade trip, a week from tomorrow."

"Why are you so excited about Hogsmeade?" Peter asked as the group of boys began to make their way through the waning crowd and out of the common room. "We can go whenever we want to."

"True," James replied, "But we can't go with our other friends whenever the mood strikes us."

"By 'other friends' he means dates," Sirius said in a mock whisper.

"You're a prat, you do know that, right?" James asked as he shoved his friend.

"Yes, but a loveable prat," Sirius answered, retaliating with a slightly more forceful shove. "Besides, it takes one to know one. So what does that make you?"

"A pot," Remus answered for him. The three boys stopped walking and stared at their friend. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "From the expression 'the pot calling the kettle black.'" He paused, looking expectantly at his friends who just continued to stare.

Remus continued, "It's a muggle expression. When somebody is being hypocritical, they use it. Honestly, you guys need to be more cultured."

"Why be cultured when you're more than cultured enough for all of us?" Sirius teased, draping his arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. "Besides, if I'm a kettle, I make tea. Tea is cultured."

"I'm not a pot." James shook his head. "Nor am I a hypocrite. Nor am I a pot. And, Padfoot, we're in England. Everybody drinks tea."

"I don't," Peter put in.

"Well," Sirius teased, "You're just weird."

"Hey," Peter said with a smile, "at least I'm not cookware."

***

"Should I ask Lily to Hogsmeade?" James asked that evening as the four boys lounged in armchairs in front of the fire in the Gryffindor common room.

Sirius looked up from the game of Wizard's Chess that he was losing to Peter and just shook his head in amusement and looked expectantly at Remus.

"What is that look supposed to mean, Padfoot?" James demanded.

"It means that I owe him a galleon," Remus lamented.

"You were betting on whether or not I'd debate asking Lily?" James said, aghast.

"It was more of a friendly wager and it was over whether or not you asked Lily," Sirius corrected. "You asked Lily to every Hogsmeade trip last year, but I don't think you have asked her at all this year. I knew you'd crack."

"Should I ask Lily to Hogsmeade?" James repeated, choosing to ignore his friend.

"Well," Remus said slowly, "You two haven't been fighting as much this year. I'd even go as far as to say that you've been friendly."

"That doesn't answer my question," James said. "I don't want to ruin whatever quasi friendship we've developed by being the arrogant toe-rag she thinks I am. But I do want to go to Hogsmeade with her."

"Just ask her, then, Prongs," Sirius sighed. "Being a girl about it won't get you anywhere. Quit wavering. Just ask her. If she says no, she says no. It's not like you're not used to being turned down by Evans."

"Aren't you courteous," James retorted. "You sure know how to give a guy a pep talk."

"You've heard it before," Sirius answered in a carefree voice. "Me pumping up your ego before you ask her out never seems to help, so I thought I'd deflate it a bit. You know, try a different tactic."

"What's this?" James stared at his friend. "Sirius Black being not only serious, but insightful?"

"Hey, it happens," Sirius grinned. "And, besides, I'm always S-"

"Yes, yes, we know," Peter cut him off. The other two boys laughed as their Sirius frowned and glared at them.

"I'm going to ask her," James said, his voice filled with a sudden determination. Before his friends could assure him (or dissuade him) James turned and walked across the common room to where Lily was sitting with Maia, Allie, and Kate.

"Hey, Lily?" James asked when he reached the girls.

"Yes?" She said, looking up at him from her Charms notes.

"Could I have a quick word?"

"Um, sure," Lily answered. She pushed back her chair and followed him as he led her a couple of feet away. Maia and Allie shared a knowing glance and Kate giggled.

"What's up, James?" Lily asked once they were out of earshot of any other students.

"I…" James hesitated, suddenly nervous. It was now or never. Well, now or later. If she said no, he _could _always ask again. But they were on better terms, weren't they? There was a chance that she would say yes. He took a deep breath. "Lily, I was wondering… er… I was… can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," she answered slowly. She thought she knew what James was going to ask her. She had seen the Hogsmeade notices that morning on her way down to breakfast. Kate had spent all morning trying to convince her that James wasn't going to invite her and then Allie had spent all afternoon trying to convince her that she was. Maia had been downright infuriating and continually suggested that she invite him. Lily had flat out refused to even consider Maia's advice; she did _not_ want to ask James to go to Hogsmeade with her.

"Well… I was wondering…" James raised his hand to his hair, started to ruffle it but then quickly lowered his hand and stuck it in the pockets of his trousers. "I was thinking that… maybe next weekend… You… I… because there's that… Would you like to… Potions essay!"

"Potions essay?" Lily retorted, taken aback.

"You know," James mumbled, "That potions essay we have due in a week."

"James," Lily said softly, "We don't have a potions essay due. What are you talking about?"

"Well," James answered, and now he was speaking quickly, nearly tripping over his words, "Sometimes Professor Slughorn doesn't assign them until really late and that means that I won't start it until even later so I think that maybe you would help me again to make sure that I actually write it and don't just copy off of Remus. But I guess since we don't have one yet there is no way of knowing if we'll get one so I think I'll just be off now. Good night." And with that, James turned and walked quickly across the common room and up the stairs to the boys' dormitory, not bothering to stop and get his things.

"What in Merlin's name was that about?" Maia asked when Lily returned to the table, a look of complete shock and incomprehension on her face.

"I have no idea," Lily said, her eyes wide.

"Did you say yes?" Kate asked.

"Of course she didn't," Maia countered, "Because saying yes would mean admitting that she might maybe harbor a small amount of positive feelings towards him."

"Did you say yes?" Kate repeated, ignoring her friend. "I was sure he wouldn't ask you. But then he came over to talk to you, and a week before Hogsmeade could only mean one thing. So, I ask again, did you say yes?"

"There was nothing to say yes to," Lily answered.

"You mean he _didn't_ ask?" Allie demanded.

"No, he didn't," Lily replied. "I was sure he was going to. But he just asked me if I would help him with a potions essay."

"We have a potions essay?" Maia exclaimed. "Shit! Why didn't you tell me?"

"No, we don't," Lily shook her head. "I have no idea what he was going on about. We definitely do not have an essay due for potions any time soon. If I didn't know better, I'd say he'd gone bonkers."

"He probably meant to ask you out," Allie put in, "but then lost his nerve."

"James Potter? Lose his nerve?" Lily laughed. "You have got to be kidding me. Potter has enough nerve and arrogance for the entire Gryffindor House!"

"Still," Allie insisted, "You're his weak spot, his Achilles' heel, and you know it. If there's anybody that could make him nervous, it's you."

"Yeah, sure," Lily dismissed her. "And then the Giant Squid will come out of the lake and take over Dumbledore's position."

"I think the more important question," Kate started with a smirk, "is whether or not you would've said yes if he'd asked."

"That's completely irrelevant," Lily snapped.

"And that's completely not an answer to my question," Kate countered.

"It was a stupid question," Lily replied angrily. "You know right well what my answer would've been."

"Yes," Kate laughed, "I think I do. But I think you don't. Or, you don't want to admit it."

"Katherine Brown stop that this instant!" Lily cried. "You are being annoying and daft."

Kate started to reply, but Allie cut her off, "What are your plans for Hogsmeade, Kate?"

"I don't know," Kate replied shortly.

"Well," Allie continued, ignoring her friend's sour attitude at being cut off, "I haven't talked to Josh yet, but I overheard Heather telling Kristi that she was going on a double date with Peter, Remus, and Sirius, so I thought that it might be fun to do that with you guys."

"I don't have a date," Lily pointed out.

"Yes," Allie answered, "But you would be able to find one, I'm sure. But it would be fun! Kate, I'm sure Caleb would be up for it. What do you think?"

"I suppose that could be fun," Kate conceded, reluctantly smiling. "I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Great!" Allie said cheerfully. "What about you, Maia? Do you think that you and Kingsley would want to come?"

"I'm not sure…" Maia said slowly.

"What do you mean?" Allie asked. "Kinsley and Josh are pretty much best friends, aren't they? Or were you thinking you'd just want some one-on-one time with Kinsley?"

"I don't know," Maia answered and she sighed. "Things are a little… tense right now. I mentioned Hogsmeade this afternoon but he didn't really give me an answer."

"That's odd," Lily said. "I'm sure things will get better, though. Have you guys talked about it?"

"No," Maia bit her lip, "not yet, at any rate. I don't want to cause anything if I'm just imagining things, you know?"

"He's probably just stressed because of NEWTs," Allie suggested. "I mean, those are around the same time as the OWLs, aren't they? Which means that they're before the normal exams. And they will determine his entire future."

"Yeah, you're right," Maia agreed, "I mean, he's trying for the Auror Academy."

"Well," Lily assured her, "then I'm sure that's it. You need top grades for that. And he's a Ravenclaw. You know how they can get sometimes."

"I hope so," Maia said slowly. "I really do."

***

"So," Allie said on Sunday as the four girls finished their dinner, "I've talked to Josh and he is definitely up for a multiplet date next weekend. You guys in?"

"Multiplet?" Maia raised her eyebrows. "Is that even a word?"

"Well... It isn't strictly supposed to be used in this sense, but I adapted it for our needs as I saw fit. Technically a multiplet is a characteristic splitting pattern observable in NMR spectra-" Allie started to explain, but Kate cut her off.

"Really," Kate said in an exasperated tone, "We do not care. We get the point. And yes, count me and Caleb in."

"I don't have a date," Lily reminded her. "I can't exactly go as a third wheel."

"You'd be more of a seventh wheel, I think," Kate pointed out. "And as we said, I'm sure you could get anybody you wanted."

"Well, there's nobody in particular I want to go to Hogsmeade with," Lily laughed. "You girls can have your fun. I don't mind running errands by myself. I really don't."

"We'll work something out," Maia said lazily. "We have forever until Hogsmeade."

"It's less than a week away!" Allie exclaimed.

"Exactly," Maia answered, finishing her pumpkin juice. "Ages and ages away."

"I don't know what planet you live on," Allie said as she stabbed a bit of broccoli with her fork, "But it is definitely not one I'm familiar with."

"Deep breaths, Allie," Kate teased. "If you stop breathing then you won't get to go to Hogsmeade no matter how well you plan."

"Exactly!" Maia said and laughed. As she reached for the pitcher to pour herself more juice, she caught sight of Kingsley gathering his things and leaving the Ravenclaw table. Her face, which had been bright with life as she joked around carelessly with Lily, Allie and Kate, fell and her shining grey eyes lost their laughter.

"What's up?" Lily asked, noting the sudden change in her friend's demeanor.

"Kinglsey is over there," Maia sighed. "I told him I'd come find him today. He wants to talk. I better go over there."

"Okay, love," Allie said, giving her an encouraging smile. "I hope everything is okay."

Maia just shrugged and pushed back her chair to leave.

"Hey, Maia." Kingsley called as he saw her get up and leave her friends.

"Hello," Maia walked over to her boyfriend. She took in his beautiful black skin outlined by the crisply pressed white oxford; the blue that lined his sweater vest and his gorgeously high cheek bones. She sighed, hating the strange tightness in her stomach mixed with the usual warmth of seeing him. Somehow, her mouth knew how to form words and she let them help her feign ignorance. "You said you wanted to talk?"

Kingsley nodded and wet his lips; those dark, beautiful lips that Maia was so familiar with. They walked silently out of the Great Hall. Those lips parted and started to speak, but Maia didn't have to listen to know what he said. They were breaking up. It had been coming for ages now, but that didn't mean it wasn't a shock. Being broken up with like this, after dinner, right outside the Great Hall: It was like having an uncle die. The fat uncle with diabetes and serious heart problems who has been smoking for forty years. You knew there were issues, but somehow it's still a shock when you find out that he has taken his last breath.

"Why?" Maia felt her own lips ask. She knew why, but she couldn't exactly pinpoint the exact reason. "Don't you still love me?"

"I…" Kingsley swallowed. "I do. But… who are we kidding? We get in stupid fights all the time and… I'm leaving at the end of the year."

"We don't fight that much…" Maia lied. Kingsley gave her a small smile. "And… it's not the end of the year yet. We still have time. Besides, I can sneak out to Hogsmeade and meet up with you next year. I know Sirius and James know how…"

"Maia…" Kingsley sighed. "There's also… we're too different. I mean, you're friends with a werewolf, and I'm going to start training as an Auror. You know that werewolves are starting to side with You Know Who, right? I'll have to fight them and… you're too soft to have to deal with that."

"I'm not soft!" Maia scoffed, holding back tears. "You underestimate me. And what does Remus have to do with _us_?"

"It's not just Remus…" Kingsley said slowly. "Sirius Black as well. I mean, he _is_ a Black. What if I had to arrest one of his family members? Could you forgive me for that? I don't want you to have to."

"We'd deal with that if it happened!" Maia's voice was rising and people were walking by, laughing and chatting. Everything was swarming around her and her head started to hurt. She set her jaw and looked down, muttering, "These are totally non-reason reasons."

"Yes, well," Kingsley sighed and looked the girl who'd captured his heart with her laugh, smile, and spirit. "I think it's for the best."

"I disagree," Maia said through gritted teeth. "I think you're being a complete idiot."

"Maybe I am being an idiot." Kingsley glared. "But that doesn't change anything."

They stood in silence for a few seconds before Kingsley spoke again, this time a sad smile touching his lips, those lips that Maia found herself already missing

"Can we please still be friends?" He asked; his tone was almost begging and he took her small, pale hands in his large black ones. "I care about you, Maia. I don't want to lose you. I want to still be friends. Can we do that?"

Maia stood frozen, but somehow she managed to form the answer "I don't know" before mustering the will to move.

Before she could give herself a chance to amend her answer, Maia turned and walked away, her head held high. She walked proudly, trying to show him exactly what kind of idiot he was, until she made her way around the corner to an empty corridor. Once she was sure she was alone, she fell against a wall and slid to the floor and put her head in her hands, unable to register or even comprehend what had just happened.

***

The castle fell silent as Maia sat there, staring blankly at the wall across the corridor from herself. A Slytherin she recognized as Severus Snape walked by, but she ignored him even as he stopped to stare at her.

"You're Lily's friend, right?" He asked. After a few moments his companion also spoke. She looked up this time when she recognized the slimy sounding voice of Mulciber.

"Why is such a pretty little blood traitor sitting alone in a deserted hallway?" the boy sneered." Where's your big Ravenclaw boyfriend, Shacklebolt? Is it really wise of him to leave his little girl all alone in the castle? Especially at this hour."

He made his way toward her, the most disgusting, hungry look in his eyes. Maia stood up at that and walked away, down the empty corridor. She heard the cackling Slytherins walk away behind her and felt, for a few seconds, anger at the creeps. Then anger at Kingsley. Then anger at herself. After a while, she just felt exhausted and slumped against yet another wall. The windows darkened, but Maia hardly registered that curfew was upon her.

Then she heard boys laughing and she grinned. She would recognize that louder barking laugh anywhere: Sirius Black. He and Remus tumbled out of what seemed to be a closet, right next to her. Their hair was mussed and their fingers linked together in the sweetest way. After a few seconds they noticed her and taking her in, their faces immediately fell.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, concerned.

"Kingsley…" Maia mumbled. "But I'm sorry… I'll just go up to the common room. Carry on."

"No way," Sirius rolled his eyes and pulled the girl off the floor. "What did the idiot Ravenclaw do?"

"He broke up with me," Maia found herself saying.

"The git!" Sirius exclaimed, but Maia shook her head.

"He had his reasons," she said softly. "I won't say they were good reasons. But they were reasons. Those stupidly clever Ravenclaws never do things without reasons."

"Come here," Sirius said and he opened his arms. Maia accepted the offer and leaned into her friend before letting her face crumble and her hot tears fall.

[A/N:[A/N: So, even though you probably hate us, you should review anyways, tell us what you thought. Again, sorry for the short chapter, really late. :D And I promise more cannon characters soon. Love. Peace. Harry Potter.]


	20. Friends don't let friends miss Hogsmeade

A/N: Hey! Look! Less than two weeks! This was supposed to go up last night, actually... but RL happened a bit. Well, I wanted to thank SWaddict196, Paul, RavenclawLupin11, Fun-Sized Kirk, and Jaccalax for the awesome reviews of Chapter 19 as well as everybody who added this to their alerts or favourites list! You guys keep us inspired to write! Okay, I've talked enough. Read on!

Disclaimer: It is not mine. It never was mine. It never will be mine. I wish I could make money off of it, but I cannot and am not.

**Chapter 20: Friends don't let friends miss Hogsmeade**

_Baby doll, the men who hang like flowers in you hall__  
__Are asking when your love is gonna show__  
__And who knows why the love you need__  
__will always pass you by__  
__Well I heard it's true your love is gonna grow_

'_Babydoll' by the Fratellis_

The week following Maia and Kingsley's break up seemed as though it could not have passed any slower. Classes dragged on forever, even for Lily, Allie, and Remus. The weather was consistently nice, now. All anybody really wanted to do was be outside the sun, laying by the lake and watching the Giant Squid swim about.

Out of everybody, Maia was having the most trouble. Even though she had been quite dry-eyed since falling apart in Sirius' arms, it was obvious to everyone that she was not okay. She was distracted in all her classes, never hearing her name the first time the professors called it. Where she was usually spunky and cheerful she had become withdrawn and quiet. Kate, Lily, and Allie were all doing their best to cheer her up, but to no avail.

"I'm sure it will just get better with time, love," Allie said that Friday at dinner.

"I know," Maia said with a sigh. "I just want it to get better _now_. I know it doesn't work like that, but I'm impatient."

"It will be okay," Allie assured her. "I know how hard it can be, but it will get better."

"Says you," Maia responded. "You with your boyfriend and your double date."

"Don't worry about them," Lily said quickly before Allie could respond. "You and I will have much more fun with each other than we would with dates."

"Depends on what kind of fun you mean," Maia said, the hint of a smirk playing across her lips.

"That's my girl," Kate laughed. She reached across the table for some salt and winced.

"What's wrong?" Lily asked, her eyebrows suddenly furrowed in concern.

"Oh, nothing really," Kate answered. "I'm fine. Just a bit sore. Well, really sore. James has been working us like crazy all week so that we can have tomorrow off for Hogsmeade. He really wants to win this match."

"Well, that's nice of him to give you tomorrow off," Allie said, handing the salt to her friend.

"He probably just wants to go himself either to buy prank products or go one some date." Lily stressed the last word, a hint of bitterness in her voice. She seemed unaware, but her three friends shared all-to-knowing glances.

"I don't think so," Maia said slowly, watching Lily's face carefully for any reaction. "I know that Sirius was planning on doing a double date with Remus, Heather, and Peter, so I know he isn't going with them."

"Or you hope he isn't," Kate added, a sly half smile on her face.

"He probably has a date then," Lily insisted.

"I haven't heard so," Allie said. "Usually that type of thing is all over school. Maybe he's just not going. That's possible."

"He'll probably spend the day coming up with new and inventive ways to put our team through torture in the name of Quidditch," Kate said. "Besides, Lils, since when do you care what Potter does with his Saturdays?"

"I don't really," Lily said quickly. "I'm just a bit surprised, is all. It doesn't seem like him."

"I think you're too hard on him," Maia said. "Yes, he can be an arrogant prat sometimes, but he's not that bad, really. And he's getting better. I know you've noticed. And, no, before you go bezerk, I'm not saying you like him. I'm just saying that you have noticed him grow up a bit. Am I wrong?"

"No," Lily answered. "No, you're not wrong."

***

"It's time to get up, Maia," Lily said the next morning, pulling back the hangings on Maia's four poster bed. The bright sun poured in through the window, creating a small square of light right where Maia's face was.

Maia responded by pulling the covers over her head and turning away from Lily's voice.

"You have to get up. You said you'd go to Hogsmeade with me," Lily insisted. "You're not really going to back out on me, are you?"

"I dun wan go Hogsmeade," Maia mumbled into her pillow.

"What was that?" Lily asked, smiling. "I didn't quite catch it."

"I said," Maia repeated, more clearly this time, "that I don't want to go to Hogsmeade."

"Well, you don't have a choice. I need to go. I'm almost out of chocolate. And I refuse to go alone."

"Make Allie or Kate go with you."

"I can't," Lily replied, sitting down on Maia's bed. "They left half an hour ago with Caleb and Josh. They have that double date thing."

"Don't remind me," Maia groaned. "That was supposed to be a multiple date, or whatever Allie called it. But that doesn't matter because I don't have a boyfriend and I'm not getting up."

"Maia Regarne," Lily said, "You have five minutes to get out of bed. Then you are going to shower and put on makeup and get dressed. And you're going to get dressed in something cute."

"I don't have anything cute that I didn't wear on a date with Kingsley," Maia insisted. "So, I can't do it. Sorry. Good. Night."

Lily yanked the covers off of Maia.

"Then you'll borrow something of mine," Lily said.

"I hate you and you're mean and you're stupid and I don't like you," Maia grumbled, glaring at Lily as she got out of her bed.

"No you don't," Lily responded easily, "You love me and you know it."

***

"You coming with us, Prongs?" Sirius asked as he, Remus, and Peter started to leave the dormitory to meet Heather in the Common Room.

"Are you kidding?" James asked, looking up at his friends from the book he was reading. "I don't think there's anything I'd rather do less. I'll head over by myself in a bit."

"Well, I just meant down to the Common Room," Sirius clarified. "Trust me, I don't want you on my date anymore than you want to be on it."

James laughed and shook his head before returning to his book.

"What are you reading, anyways?" Sirius asked, doing a double take when he realised that the book in James' hand was not, in fact, about Quidditch. "And why are you reading?"

"I just felt like it," James answered. "It's a bit of muggle fiction by a muggle novelist named Tolkien. I heard Lily talk about the other day. It sounded interesting."

"Who the hell are you?" Sirius asked, an appalled look on his face.

"What!?" James exclaimed, "Since when is it a crime to read?"

"Since always," Sirius answered immediately. "Wormtail, Moony, have either of you ever seen Prongsie read unless forced?"

"A couple times…" Peter said slowly, "But never when you're around."

Sirius looked back at James in disgust.

"Relax, Padfoot," James said with a smile. "It isn't like I'm reading for school on a Saturday."

"I still think only Moony is allowed to do things like read," Sirius said. "It's just wrong."

"Whatever you say," James answered. "Go on, now. You will be late meeting Heather."

"Okay," Sirius said. "But we're going to have a talk about this when I get back. I am seriously concerned for your mental wellbeing." And with that he walked over to James, grabbed the book from his hands and swatted him over the head with it before grabbingRemus' hand and pulling him through the door.

***

"Are we too cutesy?" Sirius asked his boyfriend mildly as they walked down the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade with Peter and Heather.

"Not that I know of…" Remus answered, quirking an eyebrow in question. In response, Sirius nodded toward the couple that they were doubling with.

Heather and Peter were draped around each other making them look like some weird walking octopus as they whispered and laughed, completely in their own little world. A few months ago, Sirius would've been yelling at them to get a room, but now he found himself thinking they were -- dare he think it?-- sweet.

"We aren't that bad," Remus assured him, thinking along the same lines. "But if you're worried, I could let go of your hand…"

"Nah, no need for that," Sirius grinned, tugging on Remus' arm so that they were touching shoulders. Remus smiled mischievously and leaned up to kiss him. They stopped walking on the crowded street and Remus continued to pull Sirius closer by his tie. A few blissful moments later, he pulled back and kissed Sirius on the nose.

"How about that?" He asked, smirking over Peter's cat call and a few disgusted jibes from standers by.

"It was fine all up until the nose kiss," Sirius stated, his pale cheeks tinting pink.

"Dear lord," a small voice squeaked from behind them. They turned around to see a bright red Helen. Her eyes were wide and her mouth open. The two marauders avoided making eye contact with each other in order to avoid bursting into laughter.

"Hey there Helen," Remus smiled, amusement dancing in his eyes. "You knew me and Sirius were together, right?"

"I kn-knew," Helen stuttered. "But I guess it's different to see it up close. Can you do it again?"

Peter interrupted with a throat clearing and a meaningful glare at his friends.

"Helen," he started, "What are you doing here?"

"It _is _a Hogsmeade weekend, is it not?" She answered, putting a hand on her hip. "Is a girl not allowed to wander?"

"Well, why aren't you wandering with some of your little friends?" Peter asked. He immediately regretted asking, when his baby sister's face fell.

"Well, Rachel has a _boyfriend_ and I hate being the third wheel and since I've never even kissed a boy, I obviously don't have a date," She explained. "Besides, I am only thirteen. Don't you think that's a little young to have a _boyfriend? _And Stephanie is with her big sister, Angela. And Susan is busy studying –which by the way is crazy! It's our first year of actually getting to come to Hogsmeade and she's missing it in beautiful weather!—and Alice is—"

"Right," Peter sighed, cutting off Helen's list of busy friends. "All your friends are busy. Well, guess what? So are we. So, we'll be seeing you around."

Heather kicked her boyfriend and smiled kindly at the younger girl. "What Peter meant to say," she glared at Peter, "is that being alone can be really fun sometimes. Before Peter, I used to make things up so that I could be by myself and not have to spend the whole day with my friends."

Helen looked sceptical but didn't say anything. Sirius on the other hand couldn't help but laugh.

"Heather, your best friend is Kristi. Of course you needed alone time!" Heather turned her glare to Sirius. He pretended to look scared and put his hands up making Helen sigh and roll her eyes at the older students.

"Well, I guess I'll just hang out more by myself. I can go to Honeydukes. That way I'll be alone _and_ fat."

"That's the spirit," Peter smiled, patting the 13 year old on the head.

Heather swatted him and rolled her eyes at her boyfriend before turning back to Helen, "You couldn't get fat if you tried, sweetie. But who knows, maybe you'll run into a really cute guy who wouldn't have approached you if you had been with Rachel."

Helen appreciated Heather's effort, but really just felt like a lame tag along younger sister. With a crooked grin she turned away to walk to Honeydukes. She was remembering the cute kiss between her older brother's friends while perusing the shelves and shelves of sweets when she saw another one of her older brother's friends.

"Hi, James," She said to the tall black haired boy who was putting large amounts of candy into a shopping basket.

"Hello there, Helen," he flashed Peter's sister a broad, warm smile. "What are you up to on this fine spring day?"

"Wandering around, getting fat by myself," She smiled wistfully. "You?"

"Pretty much the same," He answered. "Care to wander around getting fat together?"

"Are you sure?" Helen asked, her eyes widening in pleasant surprise.

"Of course I'm sure," James answered. "My idiot friends are all on a double date. I was just going to buy some parchment and stuff and then work on Quidditch plays for training. But I'd much rather spend the time with you."

"Really?" Helen's face lit up.

"It's a date," James answered. "Just, you know, nothing that our dear Wormtail would disapprove of."

"Of course not," Helen wrinkled her nose. "You're old. And you're Pete's friend."

"I also happen to be Quidditch captain and incredibly intelligent and handsome," James pointed out.

"And modest," Hellen giggled.

"Why does everyone say that as if it's a trait I think I have? Really," James chuckled.

"So sorry," Helen continued giggling. "I promise to never accuse you of such a trait ever again."

"Well appreciated, Little Pettigrew."

James bought himself and Helen more candy than they could possibly eat and they left Honeydukes. Outside the air was crisp and flowers were bright in window boxes of the shops. They started to make their way toScrivenshaft's Quill Shop where James planned on getting his parchment.

"Hey James!" A cheerful voice called, "and Helen!"

James looked up to see the shining, gorgeous face that the voice he knew so well belonged to. Her hair was down and shining red in the spring sunlight and her huge almond-shaped green eyes were sparkling. Even in the simple cream coloured muggle sweater and dark jeans, James thought she was the most stunning thing he'd ever seen. It took all of his masculinity and pride to not melt into a puddle of adoration and beg her to say his name again. Instead, he sent her his broad, warm smile.

Maia stood next to Lily, her face also shiny, but not with life, with dulled pain. James couldn't help but notice that she looked very attractive and put together, despite the forced nature of her smile.

"Hello Lily. And Maia," He looked at her carefully. "How are you?"

"Just smashing," Maia answered, intending to sound honest, but her voice coming out somewhat sarcastic. She must have noticed the way she sounded because she shifted tones a bit to continue. "Really. I'm good. How are you?"

"I'm doing well…" James couldn't help himself; he took her hand and squeezed it as if to silently say _'Kingsley was an idiot and it will get better'._ His eyes flicked back to Lily, whose face had shifted a bit from joy to include concern. Helen trotted over to the older girls and hugged them each in turn.

"Can we hang out with Lily and Maia, too?" Helen asked, exited to see the older girls, who she had always looked up to. James quirked an eyebrow at the girls in question.

"Well, yeah!" Maia grinned for real now. She linked an arm with the younger girl.

"Well, we were going to run to Honeydukes for some chocolate…" Lily said, relieved to see Maia looking happier.

"Well, Helen and I just bought enough chocolate for an army," James pulled out a box of chocolates and handed it to Lily. "You can have this, it was originally for Moony who is addicted to the stuff, but I'm sure that Padfoot is buying him some today anyway."

"Thanks, James," Lily said, blushing. "I'm sure Maia will appreciate it."

"Yeah," James noticed her blush and resisted the urge to stroke her cheek. "Well make sure she shares it with you."

Lily turned to Maia to show her the chocolates just to see that she and Helen were already sharing Helen's sweets. The red haired girl looked back at James who had also noticed Maia's sweet satisfaction.

"Well, then, I guess these ones are just for you," He said looking at the box of candy he had just given her.

"No, James," Lily sighed and pushed it back into James' hands. "I can't just take a box of chocolate from you…"

"Why not?"

"Because…" Lily blushed deeper red. "Because it's your chocolate."

"But I don't want it," James argued, amused by Lily's awkwardness. "I want you to have it."

"Fine!" Lily glared at him and snatched the box back. "Fine, I'll take the stupid chocolate, Potter."

"You're mad at me for giving you chocolate?" James asked bemused. Lily being beet red and completely flustered, made James feel something he'd never really felt with Lily before; he felt somewhat successful. Sure, he'd made her angry more times than he could count, but maybe, just maybe, this certain kind of anger was becoming a good thing.

"No, I'm not mad…" Lily said slowly, her voice suddenly quiet, as she looked at him disbelief. She was so utterly confused she wanted to just run away… _or run into his arms. _

He looked so peaceful in the white spring sunlight. An easy smiled played across his lips and Lily was surprised to see that it was neither cocky nor flirtatious. The light wind was further tousling his normally messy hair. Lots of guys had messy hair on purpose, including Severus. But on Severus it had always just seemed greasy. How on earth James Potter managed to pull it off…

She shook those thoughts out of her head and turned away from the cause of her confusion to look at her best friend and the younger girl share sweets. Maia still looked sad, but she was distracted from her heartbreak, and that was a good thing. Helen was animatedly telling her a story that caused both girls to break into fits of laughter. But, when she wasn't laughing or smiling for Helen's benefit, a dark shadow lay over her features.

"Hey, James," Lily whispered, so that Maia and Helen couldn't hear over their chatting.

"Yes, Lily?" James shivered at the sound of his name whispered from her lips and savoured the way her name felt on his.

"Do you think Maia will be okay?" she asked, still whispering.

James frowned and looked at the short haired girl.

"Yes, I know she will be," he stated. "Love hurts, but it's supposed to. She'll be better because of it, I'm sure. She isn't the type to harden up and never let anyone in again."

"But… if love hurts, why put yourself through that?" Lily asked, looking at James. "Maybe it's better to just stay safe."

"You really think so?" James asked. He looked into her eyes, holding his gaze steady as he spoke. "I'm not so sure. See, I've been in love with the same girl since I was eleven years old. And even though I might never get a chance with her, and even though it might hurt like crazy, I don't regret feeling this way at all. Even if it doesn't work out for me, love still will be victorious in the end. The good always outweighs the bad, even if you can't see it right away. That's how I know it is worth it, that every moment is worth it."

Lily continued to stare into his hazel eyes for a couple moments before breaking away. She looked down, a twinge of pain deep in her chest. She nodded.

"So, anyway," James said, clearing his throat and speaking now, to include Maia and Helen. "I needed to go to Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop over on High Street, but then we could all go to the Three Broomsticks, what do you guys think?"

The girls concurred and they all made their way down the cobblestone streets.

"Hey, James?" Maia smirked as they walked, and James was happy to see some of her normal brightness in her eyes, even if the shadow was still here.

"Yes?"

"Did you ever finish that nonexistent potions essay?"

"Yes, I did." James answered easily. "I expect to get full marks. Thanks for asking."

---

A/N: So... what did you think? Too much fluff? Too boring? What was your favourite part? Reviews make us smile. Really, they do!


	21. Examinations and Exclamations

[A/N: Hey all, We're updating! So, yeah, we wrote an uber-long chapter, so we decided to split it into two chapters. We'll have the next chapter up by Wed, since we just have to go over it and fix a few things. This chapter isn't as eventful as we had thought, since most of it is in the next part, but we hope you like it anyways!

Thanks to my faithful reviewers: cafin8dsodaa, ravenclawLupin11, SWaddict1986, Jaccalax, Paul, Fun-Sized Kirk. We really appreciate it.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. At all. Shame, right?

**Chapter 21- Examinations and Exclamations**

_"Oh, but once we were young, and we were crass enough to care_

_But I guess you live and learn, we won't make that mistake again, no_

_Oh but surely just for one day, we could fight and we could win_

_And if only for a little while, we could insist on the impossible"_

_-Love Ire and Song by Frank Turner_

"I'm going to the library to meet Josh," Allie told Kate. Kate looked up from where was lying in her bed, flipping through a Quidditch supply magazine.

"Right now?" she asked, an expression of horror on her face. "It's nine in the morning on a Saturday!"

"Yes," Allie agreed, "And exams are two weeks away."

"Please tell me you'll at least be doing a special kind of studying," Kate said, but she didn't look expectant.

Allie just rolled her eyes in response. "Kate! Exams are in two weeks! And Josh has NEWTS coming up. We'll be studying."

"Why aren't you a Ravenclaw? You're nerdy enough to be one," Kate mumbled.

"I'm not nerdy," Allie objected, earning a snort from her friend, "I just would like to get good scores."

"Whatever you say," Kate replied, turning back to her magazine. "I'm just happy to pass. And, no, that wasn't an invitation for you to tell me just how well I could do if I tried harder. I'm fine with scoring As and Es."

"You are a strange one, Katherine," Allie smiled. "Okay, well when Lily and Maia wake up, tell them where I am if they ask."

"Will do," Kate assured her friend. "Have fun. Don't study too hard."

Kate watched as Allie slung a full book bag over her shoulder and left the room. Really, she knew she should probably start studying, but she wasn't too worried. True, she wasn't like Sirius or James who could lead the class while barely cracking open a book, but she wasn't stupid. She wasn't like Lily, Allie, and Remus who put a good amount of time into extra studying, either, but she wasn't lazy. She did her homework on time and reviewed for tests the night before. And while she hadn't gotten nearly straight Os on the OWLs like _some_ people, she was more than satisfied with the As and Es she'd accomplished.

It wasn't as though she didn't care about school. But she didn't aspire to have a prestigious Ministry job. And while she knew it was a silly and still nothing more than a dream, what she really wanted to do was spend as much of her life as she could playing Quidditch. There she shone.

She was always sad when the Quidditch season was over, especially when they didn't win the cup. Despite winning their last match against Slytherin, Gryffindor came in second. They had won by only ten points in a very dirty game, Angela being knocked off her broom right before she reached out for the snitch. Only thanks to Kate's amazing goal keeping and James' talent with the Quaffle had they scraped the win. None of the team had been more upset than she and James, but James was sure they'd be able to win next year. And Kate fully believed him.

After a few more minutes of staring blankly at the magazine and thinking about Quidditch, Kate looked up to the window. It was exceedingly pleasant weather outside and, again, she wondered how on earth Allie was planning on staying inside to study. _Well, _She thought, _Allie can breathe in book dust all she wants, but I'm going to find Caleb and make him go flying with me._

"Lily?" Kate called over to her sleeping friend as she put on a Tornados jersey and a pair of old uniform pants.

"Mhm?" Lily responded and opened her eyes.

"I'm going to find my boyfriend and enjoy the sunshine with him. Allie is studying."

"Okay." Lily nodded. "When you think you'll be done enjoying vitamin D?"

"Probably around lunch."

"Okay, want to meet up in the Great Hall around noon?"

"Yeah, if you want," Kate answered. "But you can go back to sleep, it's fine."

"No," Lily said, sitting up and stretching. "I should get up, too. I have studying to do this afternoon. I'll take a break for lunch with you though. You're more than welcome to study with me this afternoon."

"Nah, I'm good," Kate said with a smile. "I'll study tomorrow, maybe."

***

"I'm sick of studying!" Maia exclaimed later that afternoon as she sat with Lily, Peter, and Remus in the common room.

"Me too," Peter sighed. "How long have we been doing this?"

"An hour," Lily said, giving her friends an annoyed look.

"Only an hour?" Peter asked in exasperation. "I could've sworn it'd been longer."

"Nope," Remus grinned.

"This is so boring!" Peter said.

"I quit," Maia agreed.

"If you don't want to study, don't," Lily snapped as she closed her book and looked up at them. "But stop complaining. I would like to do well. And I'm sure Remus would, too."

"Why don't you guys go find Sirius and James?" Remus suggested. "I think they said something about joining Kate and Caleb for some Quidditch."

"Great idea!" Maia said enthusiastically. She stood up, hugged Remus and Lily, and turned to Peter. "You coming? You don't have to play if you don't want. Or you can. I suck too. And it's better than studying at any rate."

"Count me in," Peter said, closing his own book.

Remus and Lily watched as their friends left the common room.

"Lily, do you mind going over the charms material with me?" Remus asked.

"Not at all," Lily answered with a smile. She scooted closer to him on the couch and opened her book to the most recent chapter.

"Okay, Lily," Remus sighed nearly two hours later. "I don't think I can do any more charms revision."

"But we only got through fifth year!" Lily exclaimed.

"Yes," Remus agreed, "But you know as well as I do that you could do the charms work through fourth year in your sleep. We have two more weeks to go over this year and last year. It will be fine."

"But..." Lily started. She bit her lip and looked down at the pile of charms notes with furrowed eyebrows.

"Lily," Remus said, taking her small hands in his. "Listen to me. If I have learned anything from being friends with Sirius and James over the years, it is this. Sometimes it is better to not study so much. Sometimes it is better to recognize what you know and what you don't have to waste your time and energy on studying."

"That's fine for _them_," Lily said, her worried gaze becoming a glare. "They just don't ever do any work and come in at the top of the class. I'm not like that. I _have_ to work this hard."

"They do work," Remus countered. "True, they don't study as much as I do. True, they don't have to. But if they know that they don't have something down, they'll work on it. Maybe not in the common room or the library – Merlin knows their egos couldn't take it – but they do work."

Lily opened her mouth to argue, to insist that they never went out of their way for anything, but she stopped herself. She remembered a conversation she'd had a couple months ago in the library.

"_Evans," James sighed, "Look, I'm trying to write this essay. Could you please leave me alone to think? I have to work on this, Lily."_

"_Would you like some help?" James started and turned to stare at her. She continued, "I won't do it for you, but, you know, I could help you get started and give you some pointers. I'm not half bad at Potions, you know."_

"_No," James answered slowly, "You're the best in the class."_

"_Well, almost," Lily blushed, thinking of Severus. The thought made her stomach hurt, but the pain disappeared as soon as James smiled brightly at her._

"_And you wouldn't mind?"_

"_Not at all," Lily answered, surprised to find that she was not lying. She pulled out a chair and sat down next to him, "and I promise I won't tell anybody that James Potter was actually studying."_

"Lily?" Remus' voice jolted her out of her memories. "Are you alright?"

"What?" Lily asked, blinking a couple times. "Yeah, I'm fine. I was just... remembering something. And, fine. You're right. They do work sometimes. But, still, that's not the way I have to do it. I have to work this hard. I _have_ to."

"Why is that?" Remus asked. He was looking at her with a half concerned, half calculating look on his face. "I know you seem to think you have to. I've seen you every year around this time. You stop eating, you stop sleeping, you spend all your time down here or in the library studying. We've all noticed, not just James, all of us. Why is that?"

"I have to do well," Lily answered quietly.

"But you'd do well enough if you took it a bit easier."

"Well _enough_ isn't where I want my grades; It isn't where I _need_ them to be," Lily said quietly, her hard glare softening as she continued to stare at the notes. "I know it's silly. The girls tell me it's silly all the time. But I feel I need to prove myself, to prove that I'm good enough to be here, to prove that I'm magical enough to be a witch. After six years, I still can't believe it sometimes. I still... I still think that maybe Petunia is right. Maybe I am just a freak and it was all a mistake." Lily pulled her hands out of Remus' grasp and wiped quickly at her eyes in an attempt to brush away the forming tears.

"Lily," Remus said quietly, turning her face towards his. "Lily, you don't have to prove yourself. There's nothing wrong with being muggleborn. It doesn't make you inferior. It doesn't mean you have to prove yourself. You're an excellent witch and an amazing person. And being muggleborn, in the larger scheme of things, isn't as bad as other things you could be. Trust me, I know."

Lily looked at him with an expression of mixed gratitude and curiosity. Her own worries forgotten, she opened her mouth to ask how he knew.

"Don't ask, Lily," Remus said, recognizing the look in her eyes. "I know you aren't just curious, that you actually care, but it's not important. What I'm trying to say is that, again, through being friends with Sirius and James, and Peter too, I've come to realise that it's not what your birth certificate or other official forms say you are that matters, it's who you grow to become and the actions you choose to make. Anybody who you would want as a friend, anybody who really matters, won't care."

"Thanks, Remus," Lily said, a small smile forming on her lips. "Thanks. The girls have told me this, but hearing it from you... Maybe it's because you're not my best friend. It seems more authentic."

"Best friend no," Remus said, returning the smile. "But friends? Definitely."

"Good. I'm glad," Lily answered. She looked back at the pile of books on the table. "Well... since you said no more charms... How about revising a bit for Defense? That way you can help me with your best subject."

"Excellent," Remus said as he flicked his wand, causing _Practical Uses of Advanced Defensive Spells_ to rise to the top of the stack.

***

"I don't understand this!" Lily cried, throwing her Transfiguration book down on the table.

It was the night before their first day of exams and all the students of Hogwarts (except the fifth and seventh years who had just completed their standardized tests) were attempting to cram the last bits of information into their heads.

Even though Lily had taken Remus' advice, or tried to, she was still a mess. She had been too nervous the past couple of days to really sleep properly and had kept waking up in the middle of the night _needing_ to check some spell she'd dreamt she'd done incorrectly. Allie wasn't doing much better. She, too, had circles under her eyes and was beginning to look rather strained and peckish. Maia and Kate, who had just began to study a couple days previously, were looking extremely disheveled and in utter shock at the amount of knowledge they'd have to know.

"I can try to explain it to you again," Allie said wearily. "It's really not _that_ complicated."

"Saying it isn't complicated is not helping, Allie," Lily said as she let her head fall back in exasperation.

"Well, I don't know what else to tell you," Allie answered. "I've tried explaining it. I don't know how to explain it any better."

"Kate, Maia," Lily tried, "Do either of _you_ understand this?"

"Nope," Kate answered.

"Not a chance," Maia said. "Which is unfortunate, since I have that exam tomorrow."

"We _all_ have that exam tomorrow!" Lily exclaimed.

"Well, we kind of gave up on that," Kate said. "We're working on Divination now. Sorry."

"I'm going to fail," Lily moaned.

"Lils," Allie countered, "You know everything else for this exam. I know you do. We have revised for it all day. One concept won't make you fail. Let's work on potions."

"I hate transfiguration!" Lily said. "And I don't need to revise potions and neither do you. We did all day yesterday with the boys. We're fine."

"The boys?" Maia asked. "Why don't you ask James if he can explain the Transfiguration if you're so worried about it?"

Lily looked across the room to where Remus, Sirius, James, and Peter sat studying. Well, where Peter and Remus sat studying while Sirius and James flipped lazily through their books.

"No way," she said, "I'm not asking Potter for help. He'd just get all arrogant and cocky and I don't want to deal with that."

"You never know," Maia retorted. "He asked you for help plenty while you all were revising for potions."

Lily looked over at the boys again, then at her transfiguration text, then at Allie who had moved on to Arithmancy, and then back at the boys. With a sigh she gathered up her books and walked over to James.

"Potter?" She asked reluctantly when she'd reached them.

"Back to last names, are we?" James asked, looking up from his transfiguration book.

Lily exhaled loudly and crossed her arms.

"I'm just teasing, Lily," James laughed. "What's up?"

Lily closed her eyes and pushing aside her pride, took a deep breath. "I was wondering if, maybe, you could try to explain this bit of the transfiguration text to me."

James blinked a couple times in shock. Was Lily really asking him for help? Sure, he'd sucked up his own pride and asked for hers several times this year, but this was the first time she'd approached him.

"Yeah, sure," James said cautiously. "What is it you're having trouble with?"

Lily opened her book and, handing it to him, sat down next to him on the couch. Again, he was surprised. Even yesterday when they'd all been studying together she seemed to have made a point to not sit next to him. James ran his hand through his hair absentmindedly and took a deep breath.

_Don't make any more of this than you should_, he thought to himself. _C'mon, Prongs. This doesn't mean anything other than that she's finally realised that you're not just arrogant – that you actually do know what you're doing when it comes to transfiguration._

"Oh, this?" James asked after skimming the page briefly.

"Yes," Lily said tensely. "And, please, don't make fun of me. We can't all be perfect at this subject."

"No," James answered slowly, "I wasn't going to suggest that. I was actually going to say that this is mildly complicated compared to everything else we've done this year. I had to read it a couple times myself."

Lily was shocked. Though, she knew she shouldn't be, not really. He had proven that he wasn't completely arrogant several times this year. But then why was it still a shock? Why did it not make her want to scream when he ran his hand through his hair? Why did she find herself suddenly relaxed around him?

"Well," she said, shaking away her non-tranfiguration-related confusion, "Do you think you could explain?"

"Of course," James said.

Remus looked up at his two friends and smiled. Only Lily would be able to get that kind of attentiveness from James when it came to schoolwork. He sighed and looked at Sirius who had given up even any pretense of studying and was now not even bother to flip through his book as he stared at his boyfriend.

"Hey, Padfoot," Remus said quietly, putting down his book. "What do you say to coming to the library with me to pick up a book?"

"The library?" Sirius asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"Or something…" Remus answered, a sly smile on his face. He stood up and grabbed Sirius' hand, pulling him up from his own armchair, across the room, and through the portrait hole.

Once they were in the hallway, Remus pushed Sirius up against the wall and kissed him hard. After a moment of shock, Sirius returned the kiss, pushing his tongue into his boyfriend's mouth and running it across his teeth. He wrapped one arm around the shorter boy's back and put his other hand in the sandy brown hair, pulling him closer. Any space between the two of them was too much.

"Shouldn't… you… be… studying?" Sirius asked as Remus took his lips off Sirius' mouth and began kissing down his jaw line and onto his neck.

"I'm practicing what I preached to Lily and taking a well earned break," Remus answered between kisses.

Sirius answered by bringing Remus' lips back to his own, this time kissing them softly, savouring the sandpaper texture of Remus' cheek against his as he nibbled on his lover's lower lip. Remus let him explore his mouth, memorizing the feel of Sirius' lips on his. After a few more blissful minutes, they broke apart. Breathing heavily, the two boys sank down against the wall.

"This is much better than the library," Remus said, leaning into Sirius as his boyfriend wrapped his strong arms around him.

"This from you?" Sirius said, smiling into Remus' hair. "And I thought you'd give me up if you were offered enough books."

"Sirius," Remus said, turning his head to look into the grey eyes without leaving the safe and firm arms that were holding him. "Sirius, I'd never give you up."

"So… you want to continue with this study break or what?" Sirius smirked, linking his fingers through Remus' belt loops and pulling him closer. "Perhaps in our dorm? James seemed rather occupied and Peter is still having trouble with his Charms."

"Mmm," Remus sighed, pressing his lips against Sirius again. "The dorms are so far away. I'm not that patient, besides, I think I spot a nice empty classroom, complete with a large desk."

"That works too," Sirius grinned broadly and pulled his boyfriend into the empty classroom, never letting their bodies stop touching.

***

Finals week was a blur for everybody. Sirius and James had finished each of their tests first and would spend the remainder of the allotted exam time passing notes on spare bits of parchment, much to the annoyance of the professors. Allie would usually finish next and spend the remaining time speed reading through her notes for whatever exam she had next. The rest of the Gryffindors, however, took nearly the entire time on the exams, Lily and Remus double and triple checking all their answers, Peter, Maia, and Kate usually struggling to come up with any answer at all for the most challenging questions.

"We're done!" James said in relief as the eight sixth years walked into the castle after their Herbology final, all covered in dragon dung and most bearing at least one nasty gash.

"Speak for yourself," Peter whined. "Kate and I still have Muggle Studies."

"And we still have Ancient Runes," Lily added.

"Okay," James said, rolling his eyes. "Sirius and I are done."

"What a relief!" Sirius exclaimed. "We made it! And I don't think we have too much to worry about, do you, mate?"

"Nah," James answered with a smile, "I figure that we did exceedingly well, as per usual."

"You two could stop rubbing it in, you know," murmured Kate with a glare at the two dark-haired boys.

"I don't mind," shrugged Maia.

"Yeah, but you're also done with your finals!" Remus pointed out. "Come on, let's go get some lunch."

"You guys coming?" Lily asked of Sirius and James who had lagged behind the group and were talking quietly amongst themselves.

"No, I don't think so," James said with a nod at his best friend. "You guys go ahead. We have some stuff we have to take care of."

"Oh," Lily said, trying to keep the unwarranted disappointment out of her voice. "Well, have a nice afternoon then."

"Bye, Evans!" Sirius called and the two of them turned away from the Great Hall and towards the staircase leading to Gryffindor Tower.

"Did you see that?" James asked as the two of them walked quickly up the stairs.

"See what?" Sirius asked, jumping the trick step.

"Lily wasn't completely repulsed by me. She wanted to know if we were eating lunch with them. And this is after coming over to ask me questions last week," James rambled.

"Mate, I think you're a little obsessed with that studying deal," Sirius said with a laugh.

"It's a big deal!" James countered. "You know it's a big deal. She asked me for help and I wasn't a complete ass. I think I've made progress this year. I really think I have."

"And I think you are way too obsessed with Evans," Sirius smirked. "But I've been saying that for years. It just shows how good of a friend I am that I put up with you."

"Oh, shut it," James answered. They reached the portrait hole and James stopped. "What's the password again?"

"I cannot tell you that," the Fat Lady answered.

"Wulgelsprout?" Sirius offered. The Fat Lady nodded and opened. The two boys went through.

"But, really," Sirius continued, "If I had a galleon for every time we talked about Lily, I wouldn't need any of the Black money."

"And if I had a galleon for each time you told me to forget about Lily, I could _buy_ the Black family," James answered.

"True enough," Sirius barked. "Okay, run and get the map and cloak. We only have until the end of this exam to get to Hogsmeade and back."

"So... three hours?" James asked laughing as he headed towards the stairs leading to the dormitory.

"Yup! But, Prongsie boy, we have quite the end of term party to prepare for."

[A/N: Lots of wonderful words start with S: Sirius, , Snake, Severus Snape (if you like him), Superman, Sexy, Sandpaper, Skype aaaaand SREVIEW!]


	22. The Turnover

[A/N: As we promised, here is chapter 22! Thanks to my loyal and true (But not neccessarily Hufflepuff/Gryffindor) reviewers: photgraphwall, enapets21, cafin8dsodaa, Paul, ravenclawLupin11, Fun-Sized Kirk, SWaddict1986, Jaccalax. You really are amazing. :]

Disclaimer: Not ours. Sad, yes?]

**Chapter 22 -The Turnover**

_"Where do we go from here? _

_How do we carry on? _

_I can't get beyond the questions. _

_Clambering for the scraps _

_In the shatter of us collapsed. _

_It cuts me with every could-have-been. "_

_-Imogen Heap "Wait it Out"_

With the help of James' cloak and the Marauder's Map, James and Sirius had managed to get to and back from Hogsmeade laden with butterbeers and sweets without getting caught. The end of term party in the Gryffindor tower that year was the best that had been seen in years. Everybody had fun, even the younger children who James and Sirius warned on pain of "hexation" to not touch the alcohol. James had danced with all the girls in his year, even Lily, to everybody's surprise while Peter, Remus, and Sirius all stayed with their significant others; except, of course, when Peter and James stole a blushing Helen from her friends. It was after two in the morning before the Head Students, Frank Longbottom and Alice Prewett, reluctantly told everybody that they better go to bed if they didn't want an angry Professor McGonagall joining the party.

***

"Hey, little blood traitor," A nasally voice called at Helen from across the corridor a couple days after the Gryffindor end-of-term party. She gritted her teeth and linked her arm through Rachel's. Rachel, having not heard the hateful call, looked at her friend in confusion.

"Yeah," The voice taunted again. It was Mulciber, accompanied by Rosier, Avery, Snape, Malfoy, and Regulus. "I'm talking to you, Gryffindor. Pettigrew? You just going to ignore us?"

The halls were crowded with people leaving the Great Hall from the end of year feast, and nobody other than Helen seemed to hear his comments above the chatter of students. Rachel followed Helen's fearful gaze and saw Slytherins. Her eyes, too, went wide and she pulled her friend around a corner in what she hoped was a subtle way of escaping.

The corridor they had entered was empty, but Helen's brow was still furrowed and the two girls kept walking fast, in no particular direction, just trying to get as far away from the older students as possible.

"I don't get it…" Rachel sighed. "What did they want from _you?_ You're a pureblood."

"Exactly," Helen grumbled. "And I'm hanging out with you."

"What?" Rachel stopped walking. "I'm not a muggleborn."

"But you're a half blood," Helen reasoned. "And… I don't know. They've just been following me around a lot lately, that's the only thing I can figure…"

"That doesn't make sense, Helen," Rachel groaned. "Half the people in this school are halfbloods!"

Helen shifted her robes and looked at her shoes. She remained silent and tried to make her eyes stop burning with the threat of tears.

"You don't…" Rachel swallowed, taking in her friend's expression. "You don't think that maybe… it has to do with your Dad?"

"I—"But Helen was cut off by the reappearance of the six Slytherin males. Snape, Malfoy and Regulus were coming from their right, and Mulciber, Rosier and Avery walked down the hall on their left. Helen and Rachel looked to from side to side at both walls of the corridor, searching for a door or exit, but there was only one broom cupboard. With no way of escape, they found themselves backed against the wall, the six older students surrounding them.

"_Expelliarmus!" _Snape muttered, making Helen and Rachel's wands fly out of their pockets.

"Hey, there, sweetie," Mulciber whispered, leering at the 13 year olds.

"Stop being creepy, mate. They're too young for you." Regulus looked at the two frightened girls and smiled, but his smile didn't comfort them. They huddled together as Regulus took a step forward. "We just wanted to see how you fine young ladies are doing."

"Stop being such a downer, Regulus," Avery sneered. "Nobody cares how old anybody is. It's about how _sweet_ they are." He took a step towards her and ran his hand through her hair.

"What," Helen started, her voice just above a whisper as she stood tense and unable to move. "What did you want?"

"Don't ask questions!" Mulciber growled, pulling out his wand and sending a hex at Helen. Tears sprung to her eyes as she felt something like an electric shock volt through her entire body. Malfoy laughed and patted Mulciber on the back.

"Nice one, mate," Severus Snape chuckled. "What do you call it?"

"Nevermind, it's not important" Regulus interrupted. "Pettigrew, we've been trying to get you alone for a while now, but you keep making it rather difficult."

Helen gulped and exchanged a look with Rachel.

"Why?" She asked, hoping her voice didn't betray her nerves. By the smug and amused looks on the Slytherin's faces, she knew she had failed.

"Now, what did I say about asking questions?" Mulciber sneered, he sent her a stinging hex and levitated her above the ground. Rachel yelped and jumped up, trying to pull Helen down by her foot. As soon as she grabbed hold of her friend's trainers, Evan Rosier pulled her back and held her roughly against the wall.

"How's abouts we have fewer interruptions," Rosier smirked at Helen, who was repeatedly getting slammed against the stone wall, about 5 feet above the floor. Her eyes were watering profusely as she tried to look beneath herself at Rachel, who had fainted but still was being held by Rosier. She wanted to ask what they wanted, but had no idea what Mulciber would do if she attempted to speak.

"Or how about," an angry and confident voice came from down the hall. "We have one last big interruption."

James, Sirius, Peter and Remus were striding down the corridor pulling out their wands and looking murderous.

"_Expelliarmus_" Peter shouted, causing Mulciber's wand to fly out of his hand and Helen to fall to the ground. Peter rushed over to his sister, whose head was bleeding from the back.

"What," James growled, "made you think that you could get away with beating up on one of ours?"

The three marauders held their wands against the six Slytherins. Mulciber had picked up his wand but was stopped from sending any curses as Kingsley Shacklebolt and Josh Mason came out from behind a painting, wands raised.

Kingsley disarmed Mulciber for a second time and Josh's bat bogey was deflected by Snape's shield charm.

All of the Slytherins, noticing that the numbers had evened out, sent hexes and curses in every direction. The Gryffindors and Ravenclaws had no choice to follow in suit.

"I would just like to point out that three of us are prefects," Josh shouted out over the noise. "I would definitely prefer getting you expelled in a civil manner than engaging in corridor duelling."

Snape snorted, dodging a curse from Peter, "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a prefect too."

"Of course," Remus muttered as he cast a shield charm in front of Helen and Peter. "That's how he came up with the number three, you dolt."

"Oooh," Snape mocked, "is it somebody's time of the month?"

At that comment, Sirius and James fired simultaneous stunning spells on him.

"Oh my Gosh!" Lily Evans chose this opportune moment to come running down the corridor accompanied by Maia and Allie. "What's going on? Allie, go get a teacher!"

The large group of students suddenly became silent. Helen's head was bleeding, Snape was unconscious on the floor, Rachel was sprawled on the floor as well, and many of them bore marks of hexes and jinxes. Everyone else was out of breath and staring at each other. Allie stared transfixed, unable to obey Lily's command.

"That's not necessary, Evans," Regulus spoke calmly. "Just having a tad of a disagreement, but it's done now. We'll just be on our way. Oh, and here are the 3rd years' wands."

With that, the Slytherins left, with Snape floating ahead of them. James swore and slid down the wall to sit on the floor.

"Why are you sitting?" Sirius groaned. "We have to go. Teachers will be coming in minutes. I'm sure that somebody will have alerted them to this."

"But…" James started.

"No," Sirius said. "They'll have suspicions about what happened, but we can't be connected to it. Please, everyone, they aren't the only ones who broke rules just there. I mean, did you see the state of Snivillus?"

"But, they can't just get away with it –"

"We have no choice—"

"We're going home tomorrow anyways –"

"They won't say anything if we don't—"

"Dumbledore would want to know—"

"Everyone, SHUT UP!" Peter screamed. "Can somebody help me take Helen to the Hospital wing? We can say she fell, or something. And if somebody could attempt to enervate Rachel that would also, be, you know, good. We can deal with whether or not to involve teachers later. Right now, let's just try to not let my sister die from a stupid concussion."

Everyone became silent and James crouched down to enervate Rachel. After that failed, he splashed a bit of water from his wand on her face. Once she woke up, Maia took her hand and led her to her dorm to sleep it off. Allie and Peter swung Helen's arms across their shoulders and took her to the Hospital Wing. After making sure that everything else was under control, the Ravenclaws went back from behind the painting from which they had emerged leaving James, Sirius, Remus and Lily alone.

"Let's head back to the common room," Sirius suggested, linking his fingers with Remus' and walking down the corridor. James nodded and followed after them.

"What happened?" Lily asked, running to catch up with them. Remus and Sirius looked to James to explain.

"They were harassing Helen. When we got here, Rachel had just been stunned or something. We stepped in," he said, looking straight ahead. Lily stared at him, unsatisfied.

"How did you know to come? And what about Kingsley and Josh?" she asked, scepticism written all over her face.

"We didn't plan it as an ambush, if that's what you mean," James countered, shooting her an angry glare. He didn't want to defend his actions to Lily.

"I wasn't insinuating that you were!" Lily snapped back. "I just want to know what's going on!"

"Peter needed to talk to Helen about where they would meet tomorrow on the platform to meet their mother," Remus cut in before what would surely be an explosive argument broke out. "We ran into Kingsley and Josh on our way down and told them to come through that painting so that the numbers would be even."

"That doesn't explain how you knew where Helen was. And how could you possibly have known about the Slytherins, let alone how many there would be?" Lily demanded. The boys looked at each other and James gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head. The boys shrugged in a convincingly innocent way.

"Big brother's intuition?" Remus suggested casually. "Lucky we were here though. Somebody could've gotten really hurt."

"Somebody _did_ get hurt! Or did you not notice the bleeding thirteen year old!?" Lily exclaimed. "This stuff isn't supposed to happen. We're at Hogwarts! It's supposed to be safe here!"

"There's a war going on, Evans," James stopped walking to stare at the red-haired girl who was currently close to hyperventilation. "Or have you not been reading the papers, noticing the deaths?! Hogwarts is safe in comparison to the outside world, but what can they do? Expel the entire house of Slytherin?"

"They should," laughed Sirius.

"It's not _funny!_" Lily and James said at the same time. Remus squeezed Sirius' hand in his, but didn't say anything. Sirius glared at his best friend and Lily and pulled on Remus to make the group continue walking towards the common room.

"Well, excuse me for attempting to look on the bright side," He sighed. "But really, it's not like this doesn't affect me just as much as you. My brother is a death eater wannabe and I live with blood-traitors. There's just not much we can do at the moment and well, we'll be in the Order of the Phoenix once we graduate anyways."

"The what?" Lily asked, intrigued.

"Nothing, Lily," James sighed directing a pointed look at Sirius. Sirius shrugged and Lily looked, once again, unsatisfied but resigned.

"I suppose Dumbledore already knows all about the kind of things the Slytherins are doing," Remus considered. "There's not much that goes on that he doesn't know about. I doubt there's anything really dangerous going on. Not even that bunch is stupid enough to cause serious damage to another student on school grounds."

"Well… for good measure: I'm taking fifty points from Slytherin. And twenty from Gryffindor." Lily ignored the look of outrage that Sirius was sending her. "And I suppose, ten from Ravenclaw."

"That's fair," James nodded, although the look on his face implied that part of him felt it wasn't. Sirius continued to look irritated but a look from Remus prevented him from saying anything.

"Wulgelsprout," Sirius told the portrait and James and Lily looked up in surprise to find that they had reached the Fat Lady.

"Well, see you later, Lily," James smiled, once they were in the common room. "Maybe you'll sit with us on the train tomorrow?"

"Don't count on it," she glared at him. It was the distinct feeling that the boys were hiding things from her that made her irritable, not to mention the rather stressful events of seeing one of her oldest friends floating down the corridor unconscious and the sweet little girl she had started to befriend looking dazed and bleeding from her head.

Lily ignored the looks of surprise and hurt on the boys' faces and turned around to stalk off to her dormitory. Once she got upstairs she sank down onto her bed and, not caring that she wasn't completely packed to leave the next morning and was still in her school uniform, she fell asleep.

***

"Padfoot?" James called across the dark room that night as he lay in bed trying to fall asleep.

"Yeah, Prongs?" Sirius answered.

"What do I do wrong with Lily?" James asked.

"Many, many things, my friend," Sirius answered solemnly. "Though, not so many lately."

Remus and Peter didn't say anything. They knew, by the fact that James had started talking while they were in the room, that they were allowed to hear his thoughts. However, they also knew James well enough to know that he really wanted to pretend that only Sirius was there.

"I know, Padfoot," James said slowly. "I know that I'm not the same arrogant prat I was last year. And sometimes I think that she knows it, too. I really do. But other times she just seems so dead set on thinking the absolute worst of me. It's two steps forward and a step back, with her."

"Better than no steps forward at all, though," Sirius suggested quietly. He waited, knowing James had more on his mind that would come out if he gave him the chance. Sometimes Sirius thought that James was kind of like a girl in this respect, talking about his feelings, talking (incessantly) about Lily... But that's just the way he was. It was the way he always had been, since the first time he'd met him on the train. It was good for James. And, if Sirius were to be completely honest, he knew it was good for him as well.

"She plays hot and cold," James said after a while. "Everything will be fine, we'll be getting along great, and then I'm the trouble maker again, the bully. She refuses to see the good side of me."

"You can't make her see what she refuses to open her eyes to," Sirius responded. "I don't know what to tell you, mate. If she never realises it, her loss."

"Her loss is my loss," James sighed. He didn't know what else to do. Maybe Sirius was right. It definitely hadn't been the first time he'd received the "be yourself" advice regarding Lily. The boys, Kate, and even Maia had been telling him for years. But, what if he was wrong? What if they wouldn't be perfect together? Could he let go of the dream he'd had for almost six years?

***

The next morning, the day to leave Hogwarts for the summer, came too soon. The boys, as per usually, were frantically running about their dormitory trying to sort out all their belongings.

"Padfoot?"

"Yeah, Prongs?"

"Are these yours?" James held up a pair of green silk boxers.

"Absolutely not," Sirius answered, after glancing briefly at the undergarments in James' hands in repulsion. "I threw out everything that colour years ago. Moony?"

Remus shook his head and the three boys looked at Peter.

"Those are not mine. I don't wear silk."

"Well, nobody else lives here," James said. "They have to be one of ours."

"Or there is something one of us is keeping secret," Remus suggested with a sly grin.

"A unique fondness for silk?" Peter asked.

"Could they be Caleb's? Or Josh's?" James asked.

"What are _you_ not telling us, Prongs? Sirius asked, winking suggestively at his friend. "Because, you know, Moony and I are the adventurous type."

Remus blushed furiously at this comment and looked down at the ground causing Peter and James to burst out laughing. He pursed his lips, willing his face to return to its normal colour, but the attempts seemed just to make the blush worse.

"So," Sirius continued as though he hadn't just mortified his boyfriend, "Have you been masking your true desires all this time using Lily as a facade?"

"Yes," James replied, gathering himself together and staring at Sirius, a look of complete and utter solemnity on his face. "I have to tell you guys... it is a huge secret... but sometimes, in the Quidditch locker rooms... sometimes I mistakenly take other people's belongings. That is my secret. That is what I've been hiding from you all."

Remus rolled his eyes and shook his head. Peter's laughter progressed to him gasping for air and holding onto his bedpost for support. Sirius, however, was looking pensively at the boxers that James still held in his hands.

"Actually..." he said slowly," Those might be mine."

James rolled his eyes and tossed the underwear at Sirius' head.

***

On the other side of Gryffindor Tower, a similar scene of mayhem was taking place in the 6th year girls' dormitory. Maia and Kate were running around the room frantically, Lily stood by her bed placing piles of neatly folded clothing in her trunk, and Allie sat cross-legged on her already packed and ready-to-go trunk.

"One hour until we have to leave to get on the train," Allie said cheerily. Kate didn't even respond; she was too focused on making sure none of her Quidditch supplies were under her bed. Maia, however, stopped trying to dislodge a sweater from between her bedpost and the wall for long enough to shoot Allie an evil glare.

"Don't do that to them," Lily laughed as she placed the last item smartly in her trunk and closed the top easily. "You'll just freak them out more and they'll be even less efficient."

"They'll be fine," Allie said. "And it's so fun to tease them."

"Not fun for us!" Kate exclaimed as she emerged from under her bed, a Keeper's glove in one hand and a broken quill in the other.

"It's your own fault," Allie told her. "You are the ones that insist on leaving packing until the last minute every year."

Again, Kate didn't answer, choosing instead to search the room one last time for any remaining belongings of hers.

Allie stifled a laugh as Maia attempted to pull one of her uniform ties out from under the bookshelf.

"How did that even get there?" Lily whispered to Allie as she came over to sit next to her on the trunk.

"I have no idea," Allie whispered back. "But I hope she doesn't knock over the entire shelf."

"I can hear you!" Maia said, continuing to yank at the tie. Finally, after several minutes of no progress, it came out. "See? And look, the bookshelf is fine. Now... I think that was my last thing... I just have to fit it all in the trunk." Maia looked at the huge pile of books, parchment, and clothing sitting on her bed and then at her trunk. With a shrug at the looks of amusement on Allie and Lily's faces, she pulled out her wand, waved it, at watched as all her possessions rose off the bed and plopped haphazardly into her trunk.

"Great! I'm ready, too," Kate said, forcing the lid of her trunk closed so that she could latch it. "Shall we go see if the boys are ready and head down the carriages?"

"Sounds good to me!" Allie said as she hopped off her trunk, grabbed her book bag and wand, and skipped out of the room. "And maybe we can find Josh!"

***

It was the first time the four Marauders were not all in the same compartment for the entire train ride to London. They, of course had started out together, laughing and trying to ignore the unpleasant events of the previous day. As it had turned out, Helen had gotten a concussion, but Madame Pomphrey had fixed her up nicely. They hadn't seen any of the Slytherins at the station in Hogsmeade and really had no desire to see any of them until next September, and even then, only if they absolutely _had_ to.

Soon enough, Peter asked if he could be dismissed to go spend some time with Heather. Knowing that Peter wouldn't see her for two weeks until he went to meet her family --a Big Deal, about which Peter had nearly wet his pants—the other boys repeatedly told him that he could leave. He did finally leave, but only when he saw Helen and Rachel walk past their compartment and James stood up.

"Peter," He said. "I think we ought to go see what all happened to Helen and Rachel before we got there."

James _did_ want to go check in with the younger Gryffindors, but he also noticed that Sirius and Remus kept sharing looks that clearly said they wished that they were alone together. Despite the fact that James was unhappily single, he could also appreciate the fact that it would be hard for his friends to be separated now that they wouldn't be living together for the summer.

Peter nodded at James' suggestion and they left the compartment.

Sirius grinned at his lover and pulled him closer. "Alone, at last," he whispered, raising an eyebrow. "I love Prongs and Wormtail, but I was scared we wouldn't get a chance to say a proper goodbye."

Remus sighed softly, nuzzling into Sirius' thick black mane. "I'm going to miss you so much."

"Me too, Moony," Sirius groaned, pulling back just far enough so that he could look into the amber pools that were Remus' eyes. Earthy scents enveloped him as they breathed the same air. Remus pulled his legs up so that he was straddling his boyfriend on the train seat.

Their lips crashed against each other viciously; tender in a strange mix of spicy and sweet. Remus twisted his long, thin fingers through Sirius' dark hair, tugging on it and eliciting a sigh from the other boy.

Sirius leaned back and reached his hand to trace patterns underneath Remus' shirt. Remus ground his hips down, feeling their hard bodies create friction from underneath layers of clothing.

And then there was a knock on the compartment door. The boys groaned in unison and Remus stood up to reprimand whoever had interrupted them. Lily came into the compartment, her face blushing so furiously that it clashed absurdly with her hair.

If Sirius wasn't so sexually frustrated, he would've laughed at her awkward expression, but as it was, he only felt mildly gratified that at least she didn't look happy with having to interrupt either.

"I'm so sorry!" Lily said, her voice higher pitched than usual. "I didn't know you were... well, I guess I should've guessed... it only makes sense since it's the end of the... but James and Peter..."

"Spit it out, Evans," Sirius grumbled. Remus on the other hand, was somehow acting collected and, (to Sirius' annoyance) amused.

"Now, Padfoot," Remus scolded. "That's hardly polite. I'm sorry, Lily. What can we do for you?"

"It's just that," Lily started, her voice still about an octave too high. "The Head Boy and Girl wanted to have one last meeting with the prefects. To, you know, say good bye."

"You couldn't tell them that I have a previous engagement?" Remus asked, knowing full well that Lily could do no such thing.

"I don't think so," Lily confirmed. "Alice and Frank seem to be getting rather sentimental. I do rather think we owe it to them to—"

"Yes, of course," Remus sighed. He looked at his very disgruntled boyfriend. "This won't take long, I promise."

Sirius nodded and leaned against the window as Remus and Lily left him. All alone. He folded his arms. Sirius hated being alone, it was so... boring and lonely and unpleasant and many other unfavourable adjectives.

"Hi, Sirius."

Sirius jumped in his seat, hitting his head against the window that he had been leaning against. "Gah! Oh, hi."

Standing, towering over Sirius was a family boy, who he remembered the name of was Will Greggor. He was the handsome, but quiet Ravenclaw chaser. He had been at the party they'd had the previous summer and as a fellow 6th year they had had numerous classes together over the years but they'd never really talked to each other.

"Er, can I help you?"

"Yeah," Greggor smirked. "I think so."

"Okay," Sirius shrugged, confused but trying not to act too weirded out. "Have a seat."

The tall, blonde boy did sit: right next to Sirius. So close in fact, that Sirius, who wasn't really one much for personal space, felt claustrophobic.

"Hey, scoot over, my side is kind of digging into the armrest by the window," Sirius said, trying to subtly push Will away. The blonde Ravenclaw didn't budge.

"Your boyfriend left," Greggor stated blandly. "Where did he go?"

"A Prefect meeting," Sirius stood up and moved to sit on the other side of the compartment. Greggor stood up and followed him, and sat down, right next to him again.

"So he should be gone for a while?" Greggor asked, a grin appearing on his –annoyingly, in Sirius' opinion—beautiful face. Sirius realized what he was hinting at, but it felt almost dreamlike –well more like a nightmare. Why on earth would anyone think that it was okay to be so forward with somebody who was obviously taken and who was barely an acquaintance.

"I suppose," Sirius slid a few inches away from the other boy. "Look, I know I'm irresistible, but I kind of am, well, not interested. Me and Remus are..."

"What?" Greggor smirked again, sliding to remove the inches of space between them. "I get it. He's your boyfriend. But really, everyone knows how you are. I don't care if you have a boyfriend."

"God, how I am? We hardly know each other," Sirius raised his voice. "Back off. You don't seem like such a bad guy and I don't really want to have to hex you, but..."

He reached to his pocket to grab his wand, but his arm was stopped by the firm grip of the chaser.

"Sirius, just relax," still holding Sirius' arm, Greggor raised his other hand to grip Sirius' hair. "Shh..."

Sirius could _not_ believe what was happening. Sure, lots of people had made moves on him before, but they had never just, not _backed off. _

"Really, Greggor..." Sirius was frozen as Greggor released his arm and took his wand. He tossed the wand on the floor of the compartment and placed his hand on Sirius' thigh. Sirius, still horny from being with Remus mere moments ago, shifted uncomfortably. Greggor, apparently taking this as a sign of consent leaned in and kissed Sirius, sloppily on the lips.

Sirius remained uncharacteristically frozen. It was hard, seeing as he was incredibly horny to not feel even mildly turned on by this gorgeous near-stranger, but at the same time, he loved Remus and this felt twenty different kinds of wrong. Then again, Sirius wasn't always the best at being logical or straight thinking. So he just sat there as Greggor unbuckled his pants and slid his strong, quidditch player hands down them.

"I really like you, Sirius," Greggor murmered. "Always have... but you're never alone. When I saw Lupin leave, I figured I'd see if maybe you were lonely."

"Are you even gay?" Sirius asked blandly, his brain feeling foggy.

"Don't pretend you haven't noticed." Greggor replied, his voice husky. His hand was moving and Sirius's eyes went wide in surprise.

At this opportune moment, Remus Lupin opened the compartment door. His eyes locked with Sirius' who, came to his senses and shoved Greggor away violently.

"What's wrong, babe?" Greggor asked, having not seen Remus. "Don't tell me you weren't liking it."

Sirius didn't answer but stared at his boyfriend, who stared at him. In two seconds, Greggor was laying stunned on the floor and Remus was wearing the most pained, angry and destroyed face Sirius had ever seen.

"It's not what you'd think, Moony," Sirius started, stepping over Greggor's body toward Remus. Remus stepped back.

"No," Remus said, his voice quiet and dangerous. "Because I would've thought that you would've pushed him away _before_ I showed up. Who is he anyways? I didn't even know you talked to Greggor."

"I don't!" Sirius exclaimed, reaching out to Remus, who stepped back again.

"Right," Remus snarled. "You don't have to talk for that particular activity, I suppose. I really can't believe you."

"Me either!" Sirius started to say, but was cut off when Remus put him in a full body bind.

"Don't talk to me," Remus growled. "I love you and I trusted you. I just don't understand..."

Sirius wanted to tell him that of course he didn't understand, that he hadn't waited around long enough for an explanation. He wanted to point out that he didn't really understand either, seeing as he'd hardly ever even talked to the prat before. He wanted to say all sorts of things, but instead, he was lying partially on top of the creeper who'd gotten him in this mess, paralyzed and alone in the compartment.

[A/N: So, what did you think? Tell us! Because it really would be made of win if you did.]


	23. Snapshots of Summer

[A/N] So... here's the next chapter. It's quite long -- our longest chapter yet. But we didn't want to split it and figured that people don't usually complain about long chapters. So... yeah! A special thanks to my _wonderful_ reviewers: Paulmcco, Photographwall, xxMOONandPAWxx, cafin8sodaa, Fun-Sized Kirk, SWPants1986, and RavenclawLupin11. And also thanks to everybody who has added this story to their favourites or alerts list. Your reviews and acknowledgements inspire us to keep writing. Anyway, I'm sure you want to get on with this.

Disclaimer: As much as I would love to own these characters, or at least have them to talk to and cuddle with... I don't. I don't own them or have them. My sister doesn't have them, either. That's all Jo.

**Chapter 23: Snapshots of Summer**

_"Out of the darkness, into the light_

_Leaving the scene of the crime_

_Either I'm wrong or I'm perfectly right every time_

_Sometimes I lie awake, night after night_

_Coming apart at the seams_

_Eager to please, ready to fight_

_Why do I go to extremes?"_

_-Billy Joel, I go to Extremes_

1 July

Remus,

I don't know how to begin. I really just wish you'd let me explain in person. Merlin, Remus, that is so typical of you. You always just run away and leave me behind all drunk or paralyzed or something. Please just let me come see you. I came over the other day, but your parents didn't let me come in. What? You could tell them not to let me see you, but you can't even bring yourself to say that you're in love with me? What is that?

That is… you are still in love with me, right? Oh God, Moony. Just let me see you. Please.

-Sirius

3 July

Prongs,

I just got back from Heather's. Mate, that was the most terrifying thing I've ever had to do. It was even worse than when I thought we were going to be hung by Filch our first year for marauding after hours. Anyways, her parents were really nice. Well, her mum was. I'm not sure whether her dad likes me or not. He didn't talk much and kept giving me these hard stares kind of like Professor McGonagall gives you and Sirius when you try too hard to look innocent. So I'm not sure what that was about.

But I'm pretty sure her mum likes me. She was a really good cook, much better than my mum, and kept trying to give me more food at meals – like I need that! They didn't let me stay in Heather's room, though. Which makes sense, now that I think about it. But it seemed quite unfair at the time. But we had more than enough alone time to, well, you know. So I had a good time.

My mum also met Heather at the station. She says she's a really nice girl. So, that's good. My mum also said that Heather could spend some time with us later this summer. So if her parents will let her, that will probably happen.

Anyways, what have you and Padfoot been up to? Are things okay with him and Moony? They were very not normal the second half of the train ride, but neither of them has said anything to me. I thought you might know.

Don't get into too much trouble without me, please.

Mischief Managed,

Wormtail

5 July

Moony,

I love you. I'm sorry about the last letter being so… I was frustrated. It's been five days since the thing on the train and you still haven't written me back. Maybe I'll just have to explain in writing.

The thing is, Moony, is that Will Greggor is a complete slut and I would never have anything to do with him. He just threw himself at me. Couldn't resist the old Sirius Black charm, you know what I mean? In all seriousness though, the creep just appeared in the compartment and started coming on to me.

Please, write me back. I love you.

Yours forever,

Padfoot

12 July

Dearest Heather,

I love you. I miss you. I miss your soft skin, your beautiful blue eyes, and your contagious laugh. I miss everything about you. It's only been a week since I visited, but that's too long. Please let me know if you can visit here. I don't think I can survive without you another month.

Your devoted,

Peter

15 July

Maia –

Hey, sweetie! How is your summer going? I hope you're having fun and not missing Kinsley too much. Find some other guys, okay? Because you're worth it. And come visit me! My sisters have been asking for my "funny haired friend" to come visit. I can only imagine it's you because Lily is the "pretty girl with pretty hair" and Kate is "the one who acts like a boy."

Anyway, enough with the formalities. I know you really care more about what happened when Josh came over. And then when I went to his house. My entire family liked him. Actually, I they may have liked him more than me. He and my dad got on great. There was much reminiscing about being in Ravenclaw (I felt a bit left out, then) and then talking about really advanced transfiguration. I mean, I know that I am good at transfiguration, but not on that level. My dad started giving Josh all sorts of career advice. I thought he'd be super bored, but he seemed very interested.

I was so nervous when I went to meet his family, Maia. I was so sure that they wouldn't think that I was good enough. Apparently they've all been Ravenclaws for years. And here I am, a lowly Gryffindor. Of course, I don't really think that, but their dinner conversation practically shone blue and bronze. It was scary. His older sister works in experimental charms. Apparently she's one of the top in her department after only a couple years. I can't even tell if they like me now. I just felt so inferior. They kept talking to Josh about his plans and I realised for the first time, really, that he's not going to be at Hogwarts next year.

Maia, I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to do without him there. It's so much different than with Remus. Yes, I loved Remus, but not like this. And him not being there is going to be so much harder than it would've been just a week ago.

Yes, that means what you think. Yes, I am blushing furiously right now as I write this. Yes, it was painful. But it was also very nice. Very, very, very nice. I will have to tell you more when I see you. I don't think I can explain it properly in a letter. I'm not even going to try.

But I'll change the subject back to you now. Write me as soon as you can! I want to hear all about what you've been doing. And, please, let me know when you can come visit me. I'm lonely here without you guys and without Josh. Stupid boy started working as a clerk in the Department of Mysteries last week. Oh dear, there I go talking about Josh again. My bad! I'm sorry!

Okay, I think I've rambled enough. Write back! I love you!

Allie xx

16 July

Peter,

Thanks for the lovely letter. You're so sweet. I love you and miss you, too.

I talked to my mummy and she said that it will be fine if I visit you. But only for a couple of days. My family wants me here, I guess. I'll send you an Owl when I know what dates work.

Yours always,

Heather

17 July

Dear Remus,

It's been over weeks since I've seen you and I feel like part of me is missing. I was an idiot. I told him 'no' numerous times and was about to hex him, but he threw my wand on the ground. I'd never been in a situation like that before and I froze up. It was a nightmare. One second I was alone in the compartment and the next he's standing over me and trying to seduce me. I told him that I was with you, but he didn't seem to get it. Then, next thing I know, his hands are down my pants and my brain just dies and I'm sitting there like I'm in a coma.

That's when you came in. All of a sudden everything flashed into motion and I shoved him away, again. I saw you and… I woke up.

I love you so much, Remus. I always have. I mean, I'm no James and you're no Lily, but you've had this special part of me as soon as I met you on the train with James and Peter. James and I clicked right away and Peter was alright too, but you… even in my stupid eleven-year-old brain, I knew you were special. When James and I figured out you were a werewolf, I knew that I couldn't let you be alone through that. In our 3rd year, when I made the biggest mistake of my life and betrayed you, that was the only time I ever considered killing myself. When I first realized I was gay, in fourth year, YOU were the one person I really needed to tell. You were the one who had to be okay with it. I didn't even care about telling anyone else (besides James, who figured it out on his own) until a year later. It's always been you and it will continue to always be you because…

I sound like such a sap, but the thing is, you complete me. I could never cheat on you. The thing with Will Greggor… I don't even know what that was. But you've got to trust me. Because, while I'm a stupid, rash, overly hormonal teenage guy, I'm your stupid, rash overly hormonal boyfriend and if you don't forgive me, I might just do something stupid, rash, and overly hormonal.

Please, I'm begging you, write me back.

Yours,

Sirius

23 July

Dear Maia,

I'm confused.

The strangest thing happened to me last night. I don't know how I feel about it. I feel like I should want to send James an angry letter telling him to stay out of my life, telling him exactly what I think of his arrogant self, telling him that he is every kind of horrible I could ever imagine. But I don't want to. This is _Potter_, Maia. James bloody Potter.

I'm sorry. I'm being confusing. I know I'm being confusing. And I know that if I just sign off this letter here you'll hunt me down and kill me. So, I'll just tell you what happened.

I was sitting in my room last night reading a new article on experimental potions (don't laugh). I was home alone; my parents had gone out to do their traditional first Friday of the month dinner and movie date and Petunia was out with Vernon (I still don't understand that one). So, I was sitting alone in my room reading and wishing I could be hanging out with somebody and thinking about sending a letter to somebody when I heard a loud crack. An apparation type crack.

I live in a muggle neighborhood. The only thing I could think of was that Death Eaters had come to my house. I'm sure you've been keeping up with the news. There have been so many stories of attacks on muggleborns and their families. I grabbed my wand and looked out the window. The streetlamp in front of my house was burnt out, so I could hardly see anything. But then I saw the silhouette of a person standing underneath my window.

I was so scared, Maia. I could hardly breathe. I didn't want to announce my presence in case he hadn't seen me or let him know that I knew that he was there. I was frozen in place just staring out my window.

"Oy, Evans?" I heard a distinctly familiar voice call up. You get one guess as to who it was. Who else calls me 'Evans'? Who else would show up randomly in the middle of the night outside my window?

"Potter?" I called down in a whisper.

"Oh, hey! You are up!" he said back, "Peter said you might be asleep by now, but Sirius told me to give it a shot."

"Potter?" I repeated. I could not believe it. Why was he at my house? How did he even know where my house was?

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Just thought I'd pay you a visit," he answered. "You mentioned in your last letter that you were going to be home alone tonight. Though, Evans, you probably shouldn't say those things in a letter. What if it had been intercepted? I could be a Death Eater."

"You thought you'd pay me a _visit_?" I asked incredulously. And, yes Maia, before you have a conniption, I had written him a couple times. He initiated contact, though, so don't get too excited. I know how you feel on this matter. And I don't want to go into it here.

"Yes," James said. "Though, now I'm starting to think it was a bad idea. I suppose I could just go. I'm sorry, Evans." He pulled out his wand to prepare to disapparate.

"James!" I called down. What inspired me to do this, I don't know. But I did it. And I kept talking. "Wait, it's fine. You don't have to leave. I was just kind of surprised and a bit relieved that you _weren't_ a Death Eater."

"You were glad it was me?" He asked, putting his wand away and smiling up at me with that cocky grin of his.

"I didn't say that," I said, crossing my arms. Though, Maia, I was kind of glad. Not that it was him, but that it wasn't a Death Eater. I'll take Potter over a Death Eater any day. I know, at least, that he won't try to kill me.

"You do wonders for a man's ego, Evans," he said.

"Your ego is fine."

"You would say that."

We stood in silence for a little bit, him looking up at me from near the rose bushes and me staring down at him through my open window. I now realise how this would probably look to an innocent and ignorant bystander. But, at the time, it didn't seem that odd. Other than the fact that Potter was standing outside of my house. That was (and still is) odd.

"So, Evans," James said after a couple minutes, "Are you going to invite me in?"

"Oh! I'm sorry. Hold on just a second." I shut my window and hurried out of my room and down the stairs. I opened the front door to let him in. He was just standing on the front step, that cocky grin still on his face, his hair all messed up as usual. And it was then that I realised, for the first time, that I was wearing old plaid pajama pants and a purple tank top. Not my best colour. And I cared. Why did I care, Maia? When have I _ever_ cared what I look like for James Potter?

"Sorry, I'm in my pajamas," I mumbled, embarrassed. "I didn't know you were going to, you know, just show up."

"It's fine," James assured me. "I think you're beautiful no matter what you are wearing, Evans."

"Whatever," I answered. "And I thought we were on first name terms now."

"Well," James said slowly, running a hand through his hair, his smile fading a little, "I'm never quite sure where I stand with you."

"I think if you have the nerve to show up uninvited and unannounced at my house in the middle of the night, we better be on first name terms," I snapped, crossing my arms across my chest and staring at him angrily.

He ruffled his hair, messing it up even more than it had been before.

"Why do you do that?" I asked, still glaring at him.

"Do what?"

"Mess your hair up like that, like you think it looks cool to have just gotten off a broomstick. Your hair doesn't need any help looking ridiculous. It does it all on its own."

"I don't do it to look cool!" James exclaimed.

I was pretty relieved that he ignored my comment about his hair looking ridiculous. It really doesn't look _that_ ridiculous. It almost looks… Well, it doesn't look ridiculous. But that's beside the point.

I raised my eyebrows at this. Who was he trying to fool? Of course he does it to make himself look "cool."

"Well," he pressed on, "Maybe I did it for that reason at first. But then it just became a nervous habit, something to do when I don't know what to do with my hands."

"James Potter, nervous?"

I laughed and he just kind of looked at me for a minute. He looked thoughtful, as though he were deciding what to say and whether or not to say it. I must have been staring back at him with an expectant look on my face because, after a bit, he sighed and started to speak.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Act like I'm this horrible guy? Why do you do that, Lily? Yeah, I know I've been a prat, especially through fifth year. But I was just a kid! And you haven't exactly been the perfect person either."

"I don't know what you mean," I insisted. But I did. He had a point, reluctant as I was (and am) to admit it.

"I've been nothing but nice to you this year," he continued, choosing to ignore my statement. "And sometimes you're nice back to me, like we're friends. And when we're friends, it's fun. I like spending time with you, Lily. And not just because I'm a lovesick little kid. Because I like _you_. Because you're all sorts of amazing and I could list all the reasons that I like you for hours, and I wouldn't finish.

"I know that I'm the only person you act this way with. And I just don't get it. Sometimes you treat me as a friend, as an equal. But so often you're just so willing to jump to conclusions and make judgments about me. You don't really know me that well, Lily. How can you claim to know my motives when you don't take the time to get to know me?"

"I… I don't know…"

I didn't know what to say. He was standing there on my front step, his hands shoved into his pants pockets, staring at me intensely, demanding answers to questions I didn't have answers for. Because, again, he was right. I didn't know him. I don't know him. I treat him like he's the boy that hexed Snape for fun when so many things he's done have shown otherwise.

"Well, think about it," James said quietly. "I know you're a good person. And I'm really not half bad myself. Just think about it. And if you can come up with an answer, tell me. Because it's no secret that I like you, that I've liked you for ages. But I'm close to just giving up, even on being friends with you. If we have no chance of even being friends, I need to move on. This isn't good for me and it isn't good for you."

"James," I said, equally quietly, "we are friends. At least… I want to be your friend."

Why did I say that, Maia? What on earth possessed me to make me say that? I've been so against being his friend, his _anything_. And, then, he's standing there telling me that we maybe can't be friends and I panic. I realise I do want him as a friend. I want him in my life. No, I'm not in love with him. I don't _like_ him. But… I can't imagine my life without him in it anymore.

"Well, think about it," he repeated. And, pulling out his wand, he disapparted, leaving me standing in my doorway in my pajamas.

And that is why I should hate him. That is why I should send him an angry letter telling him to leave me alone. Because I shouldn't want him in my life. I shouldn't want him as my friend. Everything I have thought I've known, felt, thought for years is in pieces. And I want to be friends with James Potter.

Your distressed friend,

Lily

23 July

James,

I want to be friends. I'm willing to try to be friends. Friendship is a two way street, and I owe it to you to meet you halfway.

Lily

26 July

Remus,

I'm writing to you as a last resort.

It was not until recently that Sirius told me what exactly transpired between the two of you, choosing rather to, in classic Sirius style, moodily stalk around the house, sit in quiet, and occasionally throw things. Both my parents and I have been worried about him but he refused to say, even to me, what was on his mind. The only time I remember seeing him this downtrodden and worryingly discontent is when Regulus was sorted into Slytherin and began fraternizing with the future Death Eaters.

But, I digress. I do not write to tell you about past events of which I'm sure you are fully informed. Rather, I ask that you allow yourself to be fully informed about this situation before you continue to draw conclusions and place judgments.

I trust that what Sirius claims is true. He cannot lie to me; I believe him to be fully incapable of it. I know that you feel that you have cause, due to past events, to not completely trust him. And I can understand. There was a time when I, too, felt that he had betrayed my trust beyond repair. But that is in the past. If you hold any remnants of that incident in your heart now, let it go. Just as you wouldn't want Sirius to hold your condition against you, I know he would not want you to hold his childhood mistake against him.

Sirius is my best friend, my brother, my other half. Surely you understand this. Watching him hurt pains me. If you do not listen to him, really listen without predisposed doubt, I will be forced to stand by him and him alone. Remus, this is not an ultimatum. This is fact. I cannot do something I feel is wrong or turn against a friend I know to not be in the wrong.

You know Sirius. You've been involved with him for several months and you've known him as a friend even longer. Don't let your doubts about him, about yourself, get in the way. Do what you know is right.

I sincerely hope you consider what I've said.

Yours,

James.

30 July

Dear Lily,

I hope this isn't breaking any invisible lines between us boys and you girls, but I figure if James can get away with visiting you in the middle of the night, then I can get away with writing you a letter. Mind you, this letter may turn out to be ridiculously informative. See, I just needed to tell somebody and I realized that you would get this better than the Marauders. Besides, they're on the inside. They were involved in this whole twisted mess. You know all involved parties, but you're a bit more... unbiased. And I just need somebody to tell, a way to get this out of my head.

It all happened after you walked in on us on the train ride home. Sorry about that, by the way. After those sentimental and tear filled goodbyes with the heads and prefects, I hurried back to the compartment hoping I would still have some time with Sirius before James and Wormtail decided to grace us with their presence again.

When I entered the compartment, I saw that Sirius was not alone as I had hoped, but rather with that Ravenclaw Quidditch player, Greggor. They were behaving in a way that probably would've made you blush the color of a Wide-eyed Dillypink. Well, I lost control and stunned the prat. Not Sirius, Greggor. I just put Sirius in a full body bind. Not one of my brightest shining moments: I ran away.

He sent me countless letters for about two weeks, but I couldn't bring myself to read them. I guess we're two of a kind, Lily. Remember what you were saying about needing to prove yourself because you felt like people would think less of you if you weren't perfect? Well, I feel like that too sometimes. I guess I always thought that I wasn't good enough to be with Sirius and I kept expecting him to find somebody better.

Then I got this letter from James and… he said he wasn't giving me an ultimatum, but he was. He's a good guy, Lily. I really do hope you give him a chance. Anyways, his letter was… strong willed to say the least. That boy and his moral fibre. Seriously.

That night, after I had just read the letter from James, Sirius appeared at my window on his motorcycle. You've probably heard him talk about it before. It's the one that can fly and that I always said he loved more than me. He looked a real mess, his hair was unbrushed and windblown and he was just in jeans and his faded leather jacket. He'd obviously just thrown on whatever he could find. Yes, fine, I thought he looked positively gorgeous, his chest shining in the dim light of night. But that's beside the point, I was still mad at him.

I, keeping James' letter in mind, opened the window to let him in. However, I live in a partially muggle neighbourhood and the motorcycle couldn't very well just hover outside my window until Sirius was done explaining himself. I regret to think about how cold I was to him when I got on the back of that bike. I wouldn't even wrap my arms around him to keep from falling off and ended up barely staying on by sheer force of will.

He flew me away, and trust me, if you knew Sirius as well as I do, you would've been worried for your safety as well. Luckily, we just ended up at the edge of some forest. Then he explained that he and Greggor were nothing and that he only ever loved me and… he even started throwing things at one point. I could tell he wasn't lying. Maybe it was when he almost started crying, that I knew he was telling the truth. Honestly, in the six years I've known Sirius, I've only ever seen him cry once before.

At that point, we made up rather enthusiastically. I feel really ashamed now, of how I acted on the train. I can't believe I let myself lose control like that, I mean, you know me: I'm cautious. I'm the responsible one. I'm careful and think before I say or do. I guess it's just something about Sirius that helps me let go. I hope you find somebody like that someday, but be careful, once you do, you won't be able to give that person up for anything. Just the few weeks in which I was resolutely unforgiving I almost caved numerous times. And not caving was one of the most painful things I've ever done.

Now, I wish I had. I should've at least read the letters. I have read them now, of course (because it's not as if I had the heart to throw them away) and they were mind shifting. Persistent people can do that, shift minds.

Wow, I feel incredibly self-centered, now. Tell me about your summer, tell me about you. I can't believe I've lived in the same castle as you for six years and I know hardly _any_thing about your life. Mind you, I know some random facts thanks to James' strange and mildly stalkerish qualities. But, Lily, you are a beautiful person. And, really, after this letter, I would love to know how you are doing.

Your friend,

R. J. Lupin

5 August

Lils: Boys are stupid. They say that _we_ blow things out of proportion. All I did was tell Caleb that Puddlemere United was a stupid team and he shouldn't waste his time trying out for them. Somehow he twisted that into me saying he was worthless. Which I didn't. I didn't even insinuate that I am a better Keeper than he is. Even though I am. He's just being stupid, saying how hanging out with the Ravenclaw 7th years last year made him feel stupid and how I'm not helping matters. Well, he chose to hang out with them. And he seems to think I said something bad about Hufflepuffs as a whole. I mean, Rob was in his house a year ahead. My own brother is a Hufflepuff. Why would I say anything bad about them? So now he won't talk to me or answer my Owls. I like the kid. A lot. But I want to smash him over the head with a Quidditch goal post right now. Merlin!

Kate

PS: Maia told me about the James thing. Whoa.

PPS: This letter got caught under some other parchment and I forgot to send it. So it's now a week later. I got an Owl from Caleb. Apparently he's sorry. We're going to play Quidditch tomorrow. Boys are still stupid, though.

7 August

Dear Lily,

Are you having a nice summer? I need advice and Peter was being ridiculously unhelpful about this particular issue.

See, I have a crush on this boy and I don't know what to do about it. I mean, do I tell him or is that too forward? I mean, I've never even kissed a boy before. What's it like? I'm thirteen... is it weird that I've never kissed a boy?

Sorry if this is awkward, it's just, you seem so smart about these things, I mean, how long has James Potter liked you? And I can't ask mum about this stuff because it would be even more terribly awkward. I'd ask Rachel, but she'd probably laugh at me.

Xoxo,

Helen

10 August

Lily, Allie, and Kate,

Because this is huge news and I need all of the help I can get, I'm making three copies of this letter; one for each of the smartest girls I have ever met. I'll get straight to the chase: I saw Kingsley and we hooked up. Well, we were in a bookstore, so we didn't completely hook up. Okay, that's it. I'm going to have to explain better, aren't I?

I was bored out of my mind one day, because all of my friends were busy fighting with boyfriends, losing their virginities or getting visited late at night by James Potter. I decided, what better way to distract me, than to go shopping? I flooed to Diagon Alley all by my lonesome and decided to hit the book store. Don't worry, I was simply going to get some trashy romance novels.

Anyways, I got to Flourish and Blotts and couldn't find the book I was looking for. I wanted to look around anyways, though, so I didn't ask the shopkeeper for help. Instead I wandered aimlessly into the back rooms of the store, where, I saw him. He was wearing the shop uniform and so I asked him:

"You work here now?"

He grinned as though he was really happy to see me and told me: "Yes, I'm trying to raise some money so I can pay for Auror training." Then he continues to ask, "So, does this mean that you're willing to talk to me?"

I, being the naïve person I am, smiled and shrugged. "It's not like I hate you. Besides, I'm over that whole thing. I understand why we wouldn't've worked out," Only I'm sure I said it a bit more eloquently at the time. Forgive me if I don't get this right word for word.

"You do?" He asked me. This part I remember word for word. "I'm not so sure I remember my reasoning."

He said that and my heart did that familiar swoop it always used to do. I should've known right then and there that I was a goner. But, again, me and my naivety.

"Well, I remember," I said. "But it's okay. I'm ready to be friends, if you're still interested."

He said he was and we stood there and smiled at each other like mutually confused preadolescent sweethearts. It was one of the most awkward moments of my life. Luckily, I spotted the book that I had wanted. As soon as I picked it up, he asked what it was, and I embarrassedly told him. He laughed at me and all of a sudden we were chatting and bantering about literature like old friends. I felt really proud of myself, you know? Like, damn, I'm strong enough to just be with him and not break down or anything.

That was when I looked at the time and realized that we had been talking for over an hour. It's funny; I hardly remember the talking part. Then, I stood up to go, because somehow, we had ended up sitting on the floor, surrounded by books. I say to him, "Shouldn't you be working?" and he tells me, "Oh, I got off about an hour ago. I was supposed to go over to Josh's house to hang out. I guess I forgot."

Then I'm feeling all guilty about stealing him from Josh, but also kind of giddy about having the power to make him forget about his best friend.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I exclaim. "Do you think he'll be mad?"

Kingsley laughs and says no, because apparently Josh would be with you, Allie, and he wouldn't miss Kingsley one iota. That's when Kingsley says, "Remember that double date we went on with those two?" And we're laughing about how awkward you two had been at first.

Really, though, Allie, did I ever know anyone as oblivious as you? But I digress.

He then says: "I only wish I was as lucky as them now."

I'm of course, thinking, 'what the hell, you're the one that broke my heart, remember?' but instead I just smile awkwardly and say "Well, um, bye then."

But I don't leave. I like being around him too much and, well, I don't know when I might see him next. I resolve to leave and give him one last hug goodbye. But after we hug, I'm still in his arms and somehow we're kissing and… it's amazing. Fireworks just like there were before. I'm too busy not thinking that I don't even notice that I'm getting poked in the back by the bookshelf he has me pushed up against.

Then I ran away. Was that stupid? Not just the running away thing, but the entire big stupid thing? I feel like a slut or something. He just has such an effect on me. I guess I'll always love him though. He was my first everything that matters and I just… needless to say I relapsed into a puddle of tears the other day.

Thanks for letting me explain this to you girls. Just writing it down made me realize something though. He was my first love and I think that even though I'm always supposed to love him in a special way, he really is just my first love. I'll be okay.

Now just tell me if you think I'm stupid, yeah?

I love you girls. Thanks for reading this whole goddamned long letter. My hand is seriously cramped up now. Thanks again. By the way, we seriously need to get together. How about a picnic!? That would be groovy. And maybe we can flirt with some cute muggle hippies, yes? Or… well I can. You all have very special wizards in your lives, don't you? Oh wells. I'm happy with the concept of muggle hippies.

Peace,

Maia

13 August

Dear Helen,

You definitely are asking the wrong girl, but I'll try to help anyways. I'd say you should probably tell him. The worst that can happen is that he doesn't feel the same way and then you feel embarrassed for a while. That actually doesn't sound too pleasant, does it? Well, it'll be a growing experience no matter how he takes it. And if he doesn't like you back, then he's a stupid nincompoop, because any boy would be lucky to have you.

And kisses… they are very nice. I rather enjoy them, myself.

I wouldn't worry about it too much, though sweetie. You are still young and have plenty of time to deal with boys and kisses.

I'm glad you wrote to me. I've been worried about you this summer what with what happened at the end of term. How are you doing?

Sincerely,

Lily

16 August

Dear My Fellow Marauders, Messers Wormtail and Moony,

Our very own Padfoot decided that today was the day to inform my parents that he is a homosexual. We were all sitting around the dinner table and he cleared his throat to make an announcement. My Dad, of course offered him the water pitcher, but Sirius took no heed. He then informed the two of them in no uncertain terms that he is gay.

My mother nodded, smiled and passed him the potatoes while my father chuckled, and said something along the lines of, "You're in love with that Lupin Boy, right?" Sirius nodded, blushed and accepted the potatoes.

noDon't you worry, though, Moony, my Dad is well aware of your first name.

Just thought that little anecdote might brighten your day.

Mischief Managed,

Prongs

p.s. Moony, Padfoot told me to say sorry for not being with you on June's full moon. Apparently, just because you didn't want him to be there, didn't mean that I shouldn't have been there to help you through it. I apologize, but luckily you forgave our black canine friend, so I swear to never leave you alone on a full moon ever again as long as I live.

17 August

Allie, Maia, Kate, Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, Helen, Heather:

OH MY GOD YOU GUYS YOU WON'T BELIEVE IT!

I was made Head Girl! I'm so excited! My parents were so proud. They're making me a special dinner. I'm so excited! Remus, are you Head Boy? I hope it's you. You'd make a great Head Boy.

Sorry for the mass letter. I am too excited to write it down so many times. I think I'm going to burst from happiness!

Me! Head Girl! I didn't expect it in a million years! Me!

LOVE AND KISSES TO YOU ALL!

Lils

NEWS!!!! BIG NEWS!!!

OUR VERY OWN PRONGS GOT A LETTER IN THE MAIL SAYING THAT HE IS HEADBOY!!! IS DUMBLEDORE MAD?!?!

_I resent that. I think I'd be a fine Head Boy, although I'm befuddled by the idea that it's not Remus. I take it back. Of course Dumbledore is mad._

Prongs stole the quill. But, anyways, I have it back now. We always knew he was mad. When was there doubt in our minds? And Remus, I personally have mixed feelings about you not being Head Boy. I mean, I always wanted to say that I gave head to Head Boy.

_Ew. Really Padfoot? Yes, I'm laughing, but I doubt our innocent Moony would not appreciate such ill humor._

Innocent? Ha. You've always been a funny one, Mr. Prongs. So, yes, Prongs has accomplished the unaccomplishable. He is Head boy and Quidditch captain and… God, just when he was getting progress with Lily, his head will suddenly become so big that she won't even be able to see him.

_First of all, progress? What progress? You're as mad as Dumbledore. Besides, it's really not a big deal. I would prefer it if nobody commented on this at all, in fact…_

That's true! We should have a celebration! Tomorrow, the Potter Estate. Bring cake. Think about it, boys, with James as Head Boy, we're pretty much free to do whatever we like! Friends in high places. It's good stuff.

_Please, Sirius, don't make this difficult for me. Moony, I think I can finally appreciate how awful it must be to be a prefect in our midst. Think maybe you could give me some pointers?_

Nope. He's my boyfriend. He will be helping me. Anyways tomorrow

_There is no need for cake, but of course, as always you are welcome to come and be merry in a completely not celebratory fashion._

Love,

Sirius

_And James, but a bit less love. No offence Moony… and Wormtail._

25

Lily,

Why are you the wrong girl to ask? Is it because you and James aren't together yet? I think he'll catch on to the fact that he might have a chance with you soon. You two would be the best couple in the world.

I guess, you're right about time. I'm young and I don't need to rush anything. I'm just curious, you know? I guess I knew that kisses were nice though, I mean, why would you kiss somebody if it wasn't nice?

I'm doing fine. I mean, I've had a couple bad dreams and some bruises and Rachel was really upset at first, but we're okay now. I'm really glad that all the boys got there to help on time and that you came and calmed everything down. Thanks for that. And thanks for your advice. You're super cool.

I guess I will see you on the train, then, this weekend. Congratulations on being Head Girl!

Xoxo

Helen

[A/N: So? What did you think? Which was your favourite letter? Also -- there is a **_companion fic_** to this chapter. It's Lily/James centric. We couldn't figure out how to fit it in here, but I had the bunny. And, you all know how bunnies work. You have them and then you really don't have a choice -- you have to write them. So, please, go over and check it out and let me know what you think!

Love and kisses!

Liebe]


	24. A New Year, Again

[A/N: Hey! So... Sorry for a bit of a wait. What, two weeks? Oh well. It could be worse. This chapter isn't as long as the last one, I hope that's okay with you all. It's about normal length... on the long side of normal.

Recap from Chapter 23: Maia hooked up with Kinsley in a book store, James visited Lily demanding friendship, Sirius and Remus made up after Sirius was seduced by Greggor, Sirius came out to the Potters, and Helen sent letters to Lily.  
What was happening this time last year: Remus and Allie were going out, Lily and James were not friends, Peter was just starting his relationship with Heather, Maia hadn't talked to Kingsley, nobody had died, Remus wasn't out as gay. So... basically, we've put our characters have grown and matured.

Just in case you guys care, to beta this chapter, FlameintheFlood and I read through it in British accents. So, you know...

Super thanks to Fun-Sized Kirk, RavenclawLupin11, SWaddict1986, photographwall, paulmcco, proudtobeatheatrekid, and xxMOONandPAWxx for the awesome reviews! Also, a big thanks to everybody who added this story to their favourites or author alerts. And, finally, thanks to everybody who read _K&K and a Side of Summer_!

Disclaimer: Reading aloud in a British accent doesn't make me JKR and so I still don't own these characters.]

**Chapter 24**

_Sometimes you feel defeated__  
__But it's okay__  
__You're not the only one.__  
__And all the complications,__  
__Bad situations happen to everyone__  
__It doesn't matter how it ended or began.__  
__Sometimes the best that you can do is change your plans.__  
__I hope you understand that__  
__I will never let you down_

_Verve Pipe, "Never Let You Down"_

"Look at you," Anne Evans said to Lily as they stood near the barricade to Platform 9 ¾. She turned to her husband, "Samuel, just look at our Lily. Look at our daughter."

"She sure has grown up well," Lily's dad agreed. He smiled at his daughter as she looked around anxiously.

Her parents had insisted that she wear her school uniform -- robes, Head Girl badge, and all -- for their last trip to Kings Cross. Her parents may have been too distracted by the fact that their now seventeen-year-old daughter was about to head off to her last year at school to notice the odd looks she was getting, but Lily wasn't. She could feel the eyes on her, could practically hear the confused thoughts of passersby.

"Six years ago she was a short and skinny little girl about to head into an unknown world," her dad continued, "and now she's all grown up and Head Girl."

"Mum, Dad," Lily said, trying not to blush, "You don't have to talk about me as though I'm not here."

"Of course not dear," Anne replied. "You know how we old folks are. We're reminiscing. If only Petunia were here to see you off…"

"Petunia," Lily cut in, "is too busy spending time with her oaf of a boyfriend to see me off for my last year at school."

"Come on, now, Lils," Samuel said, "I'm sure Petunia would be here if she could."

Lily resisted the urge to contradict her father, knowing that it would just upset him. She knew how much her parents hated that she and Petunia were no longer the best of friends that they had been seven years ago.

'_Besides,' _she thought, '_this is _my _special day and I will not let Petunia ruin it, here or not.'_

"Well," Lily said, looking around at the staring people, "I think I'm attracting a bit of attention here with my uniform and all. I should probably get to the Platform and find my friends."

"Yes, of course, dear," Anne said. "We don't want you to be late."

"Bye Mum, Dad," Lily said, giving her parents one last hug. "I love you."

And, with one last wave at her parents, Lily pushed her trolley into the wall for the last time.

"James, I really hope that I don't have to tell you to behave yourself this year," Grace Potter said to her son as they stood a few meters away from the Hogwarts Express.

"Of course you don't," Sirius answered with a laugh, "Now that Jamesie here is Head Boy he _has _to behave. Pity, though. Hey, Prongs, do you think you could use your new-found power to keep us out of trouble?"

"Do you think you could scrounge up enough maturity to keep your trap closed?" James shot back.

"Probably not," Sirius answered with a wink.

"I think I have, once again, been overcome with respect for Remus," James said with a dramatic sigh.

"Okay, boys, settle down," Harold Potter said. "Grace and I have to get back to work soon. Have a good year."

"If you need anything," Grace added, looking both Sirius and James sternly in the eyes, "Do not hesitate to send us an owl. Come on, Harold, we really should be off."

"Go on, Grace," Harold said, waving his wife towards the barricade. "I'll be right out as soon as I give these two a bit of fatherly advice."

Grace rolled her eyes, but set off, leaving the older man alone with the two teenagers.

"Now, I know you've been given this huge responsibility, James," Harold said. He ran his hands through his greying and messy hair, "But, do make sure you have some fun. I know you aren't thrilled about this position, either. Try to make the best of it. You will be a great Head Boy, James. I think Albus knows what he is doing. Take it seriously, but not too seriously. If we don't get any letters home this year about your misbehaviour, I'll come up there myself. Just, don't let your mum know. She'd kill me if she knew I were saying this to you."

"Of course not, Dad," James answered, smiling slightly.

Sirius sighed as he looked from his best friend to his surrogate father.

"You Potter men and your long, thought-out speeches," he said. "It's just... Weird."

"I suppose I should find some words to say to you, too, then, Sirius," Harold said with a laugh. "I don't want you to do anything too stupid, but have fun. Don't let James get too serious, okay? There are enough Siriuses in the Potter family already. If you need anything, anything at all, you can write to us, son. Have a good term."

"Yes... Yes, I'm touched," Sirius said, trying to hide how much Harold's comment had meant to him. "Thank you. Come on, Prongs. We have a compartment to claim!"

"Bye, Dad," James said, giving his father a brief hug.

Harold nodded and turned to follow his wife.

"He works too hard," James said as the two boys pulled their trunks to the train. "He's getting old. They shouldn't make him work so hard."

"He's fine, Prongs," Sirius said lightly. "You worry too much. You're starting to turn into Evans. Really, now."

"Oh, come on Padfoot. Let's get rid of these trunks before I have to do the Head Boy thing."

The train had just pulled out of the King's Cross station and the eight newly-seventh-year Gryffindors were sitting together all too aware that it would be the last time they took this trip together. Maia and Sirius were sitting next to each other on the floor. Sirius leaning back against Remus' legs while Maia sat, cross-legged, in front Allie. Allie was absentmindedly plaiting Maia's short locks while listening to Kate's telling of her most recent argument with Caleb. Lily and James, somehow, had ended up sitting next to each other, carefully avoiding any physical contact. Lily was finishing up _The Catcher in the Rye_ (which had been a recent suggestion of Remus') and James was telling Peter about the new broom his parents had bought him.

"Hey, Remus," Lily said as she closed her book and looked across the compartment. "We should probably get going. Prefects meeting."

"Oh, right," Remus said. He stood up, ignoring Sirius' protests, and made his way to the compartment door.

"I wonder who Head Boy is," Lily thought aloud. "I was so sure it would be you, Remus."

A silence fell over the entire compartment at Lily's comment. Sirius and Peter exchanged a quick look and Maia suddenly became very interested in her chipped nail polish. Kate raised her eyebrows at Allie who simply shrugged. Remus cleared his throat and looked deliberately at the ceiling.

"I... that's what most of us expected," he said slowly, still not looking at Lily.

"What are you on about?" Lily asked sharply. "You all know something that I don't. Severus isn't Head Boy, is he? Oh, Merlin, I don't think I could-"

"Snape isn't Head Boy," James cut her off. "Even Dumbledore isn't that crazy."

"That's debatable," Sirius said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice, "Considering, you know, he chose you."

"Padfoot!" James hissed, "What did you say that for?"

"She would've found out sooner or later," Sirius pointed out. "Probably sooner, considering you have to go with those two for that Prefects meeting."

"Yes, but," James started, running his hands through his hair in frustration, "I thought that maybe _I_ should, you know, tell her."

"Yeah, sure," Sirius replied, "And then when would she have found out? When you got up to make your speech at graduation?"

"I was _going_ to tell her!"

"You know, I'm right here," Lily snapped. "You don't have to talk about me as though I'm not standing _right in this compartment_."

"Lily," James said, turning to face her, "I'm Head Boy."

"Yes," Lily answered through gritted teeth. "I gathered as much."

"I'm sorry," James said, looking at the floor.

"Can we talk? Alone? Now?"

Without waiting for an answer, she stormed out of the compartment. James sighed and followed after her.

"You know, I think I'll follow them in a minute," Remus said as the compartment door slammed. "I reckon that I have a couple more minutes and... well, there's no need to rush."

"Then I'll be all alone!" Sirius pouted.

"Oh, gee, thanks," Peter said as Kate and Maia rolled their eyes.

"What do you think they're saying?" Sirius asked, looking curiously towards the compartment door.

"Don't," Remus warned. "Stay out of it."

"But..." Sirius started.

"No," Remus repeated.

"But... James left his trunk in here! I'll be right back!" Sirius exclaimed, grabbing a silvery cloak out of James' trunk and sprinting off before Remus could stop him.

"He's a crazy one, Sirius is," Sirius heard Maia mutter as he shut the door behind him and slipped the invisibility cloak over himself.

"This isn't a joke, James," he heard Lily say as he snuck through the open door to the next compartment. "Being Head Boy is a serious position. It's important."

"I know that, Lily," James answered.

"That means you can't blow it off! You can't abuse the power you have. You are supposed to be a role model for the Prefects and all the other students. You are _important._"

"I've always been important," James said cheerily.

"That's exactly what I mean," Lily countered, her voice rising in volume and pitch. "This is just one more thing you'll add to your Why-James-Potter-Is-The-Best-Person-In-The-World list!"

"I do not have any such list. God, Lily. We've been over this. I'm _not_ the same kid I was. I thought you accepted that. I thought you realised that I had grown up a little. I thought you said that we were friends. "

"We _are_ friends, James. I don't know what that has to do with this though."

"Because," James said. His voice was rising now as well. "If you're going to call yourself my friend, then you're going to have to trust me. You're going to have to realise that I _am_ capable of this. Hell, I didn't bloody ask for this position, Lily. I was just as shocked as you were when I saw this badge in my annual letter. But, by Merlin, I am not going to fuck this up. Have some faith."

'_Those Potters and their long-winded rants,'_ Sirius thought to himself.

"I do have faith in you, James," Lily said, her voice dropping in intensity. "I just... This is _really_ important to me. I don't want to mess it up."

"You won't," James assured her, giving her a small smile and putting his hand on her shoulder. "We won't. I promise."

"Thanks, James," Lily said, looking up at his face and seeing the absolute sincerity with which he spoke. "I... I'm sorry. Let's go."

"Oh, and Lily?" James asked as she turned to leave for the Prefects meeting.

"Yes, James?"

"If I, you know, mess up... Don't... Don't hate me. I wasn't a Prefect. I don't know how this works."

"Like you said, we won't mess it up. I've got your back." Lily smiled as she led him out of the compartment to the Prefects meeting.

"Whoa," Sirius muttered to himself once he was sure the Head Students were out of earshot. "Lily having faith? James being insecure? What is this world coming to?"

When Remus returned to the compartment after the Prefects meeting, Peter and Kate were gone, presumably off finding their significant others. Allie was still playing with Maia's hair as Sirius and Maia discussed the finer points of Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans.

"Hello," Remus said as he pushed the door aside and entered into the compartment.

"Remus is back!" Sirius exclaimed, pulling his boyfriend onto his lap. "Where are the Heads?"

"Doing Head stuff, I would presume," Remus answered, sinking back into Sirius' arms.

"I would like to take this opportunity to point out that I am not making a crude joke," Maia said with a wink.

"Oh, come on," Allie said, rolling her eyes at her friend. "That statement undermined any possible pride I previously had in your self control."

"Yeah, well," Maia said, standing up. "I'm hungry. Let's go find the food cart and leave these boys alone."

"You sound like an old lady," Sirius said cheekily.

"Yeah, well, it's my attempt to not be crude," Maia retorted as she pulled Allie out of the compartment.

"How's Prongs gonna be as Head Boy?" Sirius asked quietly as he rested his head on Remus' neck.

"Oh, he'll do fine. He was surprisingly nervous, but he hid it pretty well. Let Lily do most of the talking. I've never seen him so quiet."

"Yeah, they had quite the explosion before the meeting. Typical Lily and James, really. Except for the ending. I guess Lily really meant it when she told James that they could be friends."

"I guess so."

"So... James is Head Boy."

"Yes, I believe that has been discussed ad nauseam," Remus replied with a sigh as he wrapped Sirius' arms tighter around himself.

"Somebody sounds... bitter."

"No, not bitter. Surprised."

"Surprised?"

"Yes, surprised. It's hardly an unexpected reaction, Sirius. But, no, I'm not bitter."

"Did you expect to be made Head Boy?"

Remus didn't answer for a moment. He turned around in Sirius' lap so that he was facing his boyfriend.

"No, I didn't expect to be Head Boy. I'm not enough of a leader. I'm really not the right person for the position. Besides, the first werewolf Head Boy at Hogwarts? I'm lucky enough just to be here."

"Moony," Sirius said slowly, looking into Remus' eyes, "Don't be like that. You know it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with James. As much as it pains me to say so, it will be good for him."

"That's true," Remus answered. "I'm happy for him. Really, I am."

"You sure?"

"Yes. He'll be wonderful."

"You're wonderful," Sirius smiled as he pulled his boyfriend in for a kiss.

The rest of the train ride was exceptionally unexceptional. Much to Lily and James' relief, the Prefects meeting went without too many mishaps and nobody (with the exception of the Slytherin prefects) seemed too put out that James had earned the position of Head Boy.

After the feast, the 7th year Gryffindors sat in the Common Room for several hours talking about their summers and joking about the coming year. Allie and Remus were both excited for classes to start again and were eagerly discussing what they thought would be on the NEWTS while James and Kate talked vehemently about Gryffindor's chances in the Quidditch cup and their dire need for a new Seeker. To everybody's surprise, and relief, James and Lily seemed to be at complete ease. For the first time, the year did not start out with any of the eight at odds with each other. None of them were the little kids they had been even a year ago.

Before any of them knew it, classes were back in session. It seemed as though every professor was dead set on reminding them that it was, in fact, NEWT year and that they would, in fact, have to study harder than ever before. Transfiguration and Potions became, as McGonagall and Slughorn warned them on the first day, more difficult and dangerous, requiring the upmost attentiveness in class. Even Charms required a new level of mindfulness.

Professor Mansfield had completed his sabbatical in England and had returned to his school in the United States. The new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor, Douglas Hewn of Southampton, was a no-nonsense professor, keen on rules and silence in class. Remus found himself missing the caring Professor Mansfield even though he'd known that he wouldn't be returning.

The unprecedented amount of work combined with Quidditch try-outs to replace Angela Miller, Quidditch practices, and Head Duties kept James so busy that, before he knew it, nearly two weeks had passed and his first patrol as Head Boy was just two days away.

"So, what are our plans for Thursday?" Peter asked as the boys lounged in their dormitory, taking full advantage of the brief lull in homework.

"Thursday?" James asked as he caught the Quaffle he'd been tossing in the air and looked over at Peter. "I have to patrol on Thursday. First patrol of the year!"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me, you _wanker_," Sirius said, sitting up on his bed and staring at James in udder disbelief.

"What?" James asked. "Why would I kid about patrols?"

"Thursday? September the fifteenth? The first full moon of our seventh year?"

"Bloody hell," James groaned as he sat up and threw his Quaffle down on his bed. "Please, please, _please_ tell me that you're kidding."

"He's not," Remus said apologetically.

"Merlin," James exclaimed. "Lily is going to _kill_ me. Things were going so _well_. Have you noticed? We talk! We're friends! It's amazing. Bloody fucking hell!"

"You know," Remus said quietly, "You don't _have_ to come. It's fine, really."

"Bugger that!" Sirius exclaimed, "Of course he has to come."

"No," Remus argued, "This is import-"

"No, Moony," James sighed, "Sirius is right. You are more important than some stupid patrols. Even if it _is_ with Lily bloody Evans."

"Prongs," Peter said, "You're going to play on to his guilt complex if you keep swearing like that."

"Bugger," James said. "No, Remus, really. It's fine. You have no say. I'm coming. When we found out, we made a promise. When we became animagi, we made a promise. A promise between _brothers-_"

"And lovers!" Sirius interrupted.

"A promise," James continued, ignoring his best mate, "That we cannot go back on. I'll be there. I've already missed a full moon once this year, and I have no intention of doing it again."

"Okay," Remus sighed. "If you say so."

"I do," James said sternly.

"Just don't blame me when Lily castrates you," Remus teased.

"Do you think she'd really do that?" James said, his eyes widening.

"Of course not," Peter said. "She'll probably just hex you into next year and yell a bit. Nothing new, nothing to worry about."

"Hey, Lily," James said as he walked into the crowded common room around eight o'clock that night.

"Yes, James?" Lily answered, looking away from the conversation she'd been having with Maia, Allie, and Kate.

"Can I talk to you for a moment?" James asked.

Lily looked at him suspiciously. He seemed a bit... nervous, as though he'd rather be anywhere but there.

"I guess so." She stood up.

James gestured towards a less crowded corner; she nodded and followed him.

"What's up?" She asked once they were more-or-less alone.

"I... Well... About Thursday," he started.

"What about Thursday?" Lily asked, her eyes narrowing dangerously. "You do remember that we have our first patrol that night, right?"

"No, no. I didn't forget."

"Then, what is it?" Lily demanded.

There was a brief silence in which James ruffled his hair and stared at the floor.

"See, the thing is... I can't patrol on Thursday."

"I'm sorry, what?" Lily asked, looking at him with complete incredulity. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard you. Did you really just say what I think you said?"

"I can't patrol on Thursday night," James repeated.

"You had better have the world's best reason for this, Potter," Lily said in a quiet, but threatening voice.

"I do," James answered. "And since when are we back on last-name terms?"

"Since you decided that you can't patrol on Thursday," Lily shot back.

"I didn't _decide_ I can't patrol!" James argued.

"I'm waiting for the world's best reason," Lily said, crossing her arms and glaring at him.

"I really do have a good reason, Lily," James said slowly. "But... I can't tell you."

"What!" Lily yelled. The entire common room fell quiet at this outburst and dozens of eyes fell upon the two Head Students. "What do you mean you can't tell me?"

"Well," James tried, "I could make up some excuse, some lie as to why I can't-"

"No," Lily interrupted loudly, "You promised you wouldn't mess this up. You promised you would take this seriously."

"I am taking this seriously!" James responded, his voice rising to match hers. They were both well aware that everybody was watching their fight but neither of them cared. "I've never taken anything so seriously in my life!"

"Except for _obviously_ whatever you have to do on Thursday!"

"I didn't plan it that way, Lily. It's one of those things that you can't control."

"Oh, really? Really? So it's not your fault at all? Typical!"

"It's not! Really! I would skip it if I could, but I can't."

"Well what can't you skip?" Lily demanded. "What is so _bloody_ important that you can't skip it? That you _had_ to break a promise to me about?"

"I made a promise to somebody else, Lily."

"Who?"

"I..." James said, dropping his voice again, "I can't tell you. Please, Lily. Don't do this."

"Don't you _dare_ 'Please, Lily' me!" Lily exploded.

"This isnt' breaking my promise!" James screamed. "I'm not messing this up! I know it's important, but it's just one patrol."

"Our first patrol! How do I know this isn't going to be a pattern? How do I know that you're not going to make me look like an idiot? How do I know that I can trust you to not ruin this for me?"

"Because, Evans, the world doesn't revolve around you. I'm sorry, but there are some things that are more fucking important than a bloody patrol schedule. There are some things that actually _matter_. This has nothing, _nothing_, to do with you, Lily. So get off your high and mighty thrown and stop fucking acting like you're the queen of the England."

"So, what, I don't matter?" Lily demanded. "And you're one to talk about arrogant. If I'm the queen of England, you must be the king of the universe. So high and mighty that you can't even tell me the truth? That a poor little girl like me doesn't even deserve to know the truth and can have promises broken?"

"Right now? No, you don't matter. You and your stupid patrol don't matter compared to this."

"Nice, Potter, real nice. Once again you show yourself to be the arrogant, self-centred toerag that I knew you to be. How could I possibly think you'd ever change?"

"You have no idea what you're talking about," James said, dropping his voice once again. But this time it was not the quiet of pleading but of bitterness and cold anger. "Don't try to talk about things you can't understand."

"You didn't even give a me a chance to understand, James," Lily said, her voice and tone matching his. "How am I supposed to trust you as my partner if you won't trust me enough to tell me what's going on?"

"I can't tell you. I'm sorry, but I can't." With that, James turned on his heel and stormed off towards the boys' staircase.

"Fuck you, Potter!" Lily yelled after him and shot a stinging hex at his back. It hit its mark, causing James to flinch and swear, but not turn around.

"Fuck you, James," Lily whispered to herself. The common room was deathly quiet. Lily felt all the eyes staring at her, eagerly awaiting her next move.

"Stop bloody staring at me," Lily yelled to the room at large, trying her hardest to hold back the tears that were forming in her eyes. "Stop bloody staring or I'll give you all detention!" Before waiting to see if anybody would heed her warning, she turned and ran up the staircase and flung herself onto her bed and closed the bed hangings, showing her friends that she wanted to be alone.

"Fuck you, James Potter," she said before succumbing to her sobs.

[A/N: So... Lily finds out about James! They fight, make up, fight again.

Preview for the next chapter: more of Sirius/Remus, more of Helen, more of Maia.]


	25. Moving Forward

[A/N: Hey you guys! I know I told some of you that this would be up last Friday... But Flameintheflood had tech week and performances so while I was at home doing nothing but cleaning, she was quite busy. If it's any consultation, the characters kept having more to say and think while I wrote, so this is quite long. I have classes starting again on Tuesday, but hopefully you'll get the next chapter by the end of next week. Thanks to all my readers and especially to SWaddict1986, cafin8sodaa, Fun-Sized Kirk, and RavenclawLupin11 for their fab reviews! I love you all!

Disclaimer: if this were mine and I was making money off of it, I would not have sent so many emails to my school's financial aid office to try and sort out my financial aid for next year.]

**Chapter 25: Moving Forward**

_You went away__  
__Cos you said that you can't stand me__  
__So I went away__  
__I was sure that you can't stand me__  
__Well I don't think we have to be like this forever_

_Tegan and Sara, "You Went Away"_

"Lily, we need to talk to you."

Lily looked up from the Charms essay she was working on to see Sirius and Remus standing over her, the former looking more serious than she'd ever seen him and the latter looking slightly nervous, but determined.

"Can it wait?" She asked impatiently. "I'm in the middle of my Charms essay and then I have to make a patrolling timetable before I finish the rest of my homework."

"No, it can't wait," Sirius said, shutting Lily's Charms book and looking her straight in the eyes. "This is important."

"Oh, like James missing patrolling last week was important?" Lily challenged. "Because I'm sick of hearing that. He thinks he can just blow things off and then apologise because we're friends now. Well, he's wrong."

"No, Lily," Sirius interrupted, "You're wrong."

"But, James," Lily started.

"James made a mistake, Lily," Remus agreed, "He should have told you earlier that he couldn't make the patrol, but he forgot about his prior engagement. He wasn't disregarding you and he wasn't skiving off his Head duties."

"I don't need you two to make excuses for him," Lily said with a sigh. "I shouldn't have been as upset as I was. I should have known something like that would happen."

"We're not making excuses," Sirius said crossly, "We're trying to tell you that James had a real reason for missing patrols."

"You're singing the same song as he was," Lily argued. "But, apparently, I don't get to know this reason. I'm Head Girl; I think I should know these things. And _Potter_ couldn't even tell me!"

"That's because it wasn't his to tell," Remus said quietly.

Lily looked at him shrewdly. He had slight bags under his eyes and he looked tired and weak. But there was something else there, something Lily hadn't seen in the boy's eyes for quite some time. There was a shadow of the lost and forlorn boy she'd met on her first day at Hogwarts.

"What is it?" Lily asked, her voice softening.

"Not here," Sirius said, glancing around at the not-quite-empty common room. The few students who were there were shooting furtive glances at the three of them, clearly eager to watch Lily explode once again.

"Fine," Lily said, shoving her chair back and standing up.

The boys didn't say anything, but turned around and headed out of the portrait hole. Lily, with an exasperated sigh, followed them.

"You know," she said as she trailed behind them down the corridors, "It's after hours."

"And you're Head Girl," Sirius answered, not turning around.

"Trust me," Remus said. "It's important. Besides, we won't get caught. We Marauders have our ways. How do you think we managed to make it six full years without expulsion?"

Lily didn't answer but continued to follow the two boys for several more minutes. She wanted to stomp and huff to let them know exactly how put out she was, but she was afraid that would attract too much attention. And, despite Remus' reassurances and Sirius' simple "you're Head Girl," Lily didn't think that Filch would react kindly were he to spot them wandering the corridors over an hour after curfew.

"We're here," Sirius said.

"Where's here?" Lily asked, looking around. She thought the portraits on the walls looked familiar, but there was a door she had never seen before.

"Seventh floor corridor," Sirius answered. "Don't worry about it. It's a long story."

"No, it's not really," Remus corrected. He turned to Lily, "This is the Room of Requirement. I'm sure you've read about it. The room becomes whatever you need – require – it to be. Sirius, Peter, James, and I found out about it our second year during some exploration. It's a good place to have conversations that you don't want to be... overheard."

"Is it safe?" Lily asked, looking at the mysterious door with narrowed eyes.

"Of course it's safe, Evans, We've been coming here for _years_ and we're fine," Sirius answered her with a sigh. He then pulled out his wand and tapped the Marauder's Map. "Mischief managed."

"What's that?" Lily asked, seeing the parchment for the first time.

"It's a long story," Sirius answered again.

Lily looked at Remus, hoping for an explanation, but he just shook his head.

"What is it with you four and secrecy?" She demanded. "All of your secrets, all of your lies. I'm sick of it. I'm leaving."

"No, you're not," Remus said forcefully. He grabbed her arm to prevent her from storming off, and dragged her through the door. "You're going to listen to what we have to say. Then, after you've heard everything, you can be as angry with us as you like, okay?"

"Fine," Lily snapped. "But only because you're my friend, Remus. I know I can trust you to not do anything too stupid, even if I can't trust your friends." She sat down on a large blue couch, crossed her arms, and looked up at them expectantly.

Sirius threw a quick glance at Remus, who nodded curtly. At this silent conversation, Lily almost smiled in spite of herself. For the first time since she'd met the boys, Sirius had seemed to be asking for Remus' permission. It was brief, but in that moment Lily saw a concerned and caring Sirius rather than the rowdy and arrogant boy she'd always known. After that moment, however, it was gone.

"Well," Sirius started cheerily, "now that you have finally given us your attention, Moony and I here have some things to say to you. First, and foremost, you owe James an apology."

"I owe _him_-"

"I suppose we can understand, if we really try, why you were upset," Sirius continued as though Lily hadn't said anything. "But, the thing is, you don't know James' side. You can't know James' side because he couldn't tell you. I know you don't have the best opinion of Prongs, but if there's one thing about him you should never doubt, it's his commitment to his friends. He's noble, chivalrous, and brave to the point of stupidity... the perfect Gryffindor. But he's got a streak of loyalty so strong that it would put the best Hufflepuff to shame. James will _never_ turn his back on a friend. Trust me, I know. He's proven it to me several times over."

"So, he's a great friend," Lily said. She was trying to stay angry, trying to cling onto her annoyance with Potter for everything he'd shown himself to be. But Sirius' speech had softened her. For the second time in ten minutes she found herself seeing a whole new side of the arrogant Black.

And there was all this new information about James. Though, Lily realised, if she thought back to all her interactions with James, everything she'd seen him do, these revelations didn't surprise her. Despite his arrogant and seemingly careless attitude, she knew he wasn't a bad person. He'd defended Sirius as being different from the rest of the family when all the other Gryffindors wanted to shun him, he'd defended Peter when other students teased him, he'd hung out with Helen when her friends couldn't go to Hogsmeade, and he had always, no matter what Lily said or did to him, been nothing but nice to her, albeit slightly cocky.

Hadn't she accepted that over the summer? Hadn't she realised that she wanted him as a friend? Was it _this_ James that Sirius was speaking about that had made its appearance during 6th year and over the summer? Perhaps.

Lily shook her head, trying to clear it. If she was honest with herself, she knew that Sirius was right. But that didn't change the fact that he'd kept secrets, ditched out of patrols, and shouted her down in the Common Room.

"So, he's a great friend," Lily repeated. "What does that have to do with any of this? It doesn't even make a difference."

"But it _does_," Remus said quietly. "It makes all the difference in the world, Lily. Now, listen. I'm going to tell you something. And I understand if you don't want to associate with me after you hear what I have to say. But it's important, because James doesn't deserve your anger and you deserve the truth."

"What is it?" Lily asked shakily.

Sirius grabbed his boyfriends' hand and squeezed it as Remus closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm sure you've noticed that I leave for a couple days every month," Remus started, not opening his eyes. "I've been doing it every month that I've been here. In fact, I know you know because you've asked me about it. And I've told you all sorts of things: my mother is ill so I have to go visit her, I'm not feeling well so I need to spend the night in the hospital wing, and so on. Those... those excuses are not exactly true. Though, I suppose not feeling well is one way of putting it..."

Remus laughed bitterly and opened his eyes. He let Sirius' hand drop and pressed the heels of his own hands on his forehead above his eyes. He stood there, not saying anything, just breathing heavily.

Sirius reached out to put a hand on his shoulder, but Remus shrugged it off and took a step away from Sirius, towards Lily.

Sirius tightened his lips, but didn't say anything or reach out again. After a couple of minutes of silence, Remus let his hands fall and looked at Lily. He looked older than Lily had ever seen him, older than she could have ever expected from a seventeen year old prankster. His eyes were tired, scared, and glistening with tears. He stood tense, his hands in tight fists at his sides, his jaw set firmly.

"Lily," he continued, his brown eyes piercing into her. "There's no easy way to say this. There's nothing I can do to make this easier. But every night I disappeared from Gryffindor tower was the night of a full moon. Every time I was"visiting my ill mother" was a full moon. Each full moon I have to leave the castle and go to an isolated place away from any students or teachers."

"No..." Lily said quietly. She didn't want to believe it. She _couldn't_ believe it. "You're not. Remus, you're kidding. This is some sick joke you two devised to make me forget about James. No."

"I wish it were a joke," Remus said bitterly. "Oh, how I wish I could joke about this. No, Lily. I'm a werewolf."

"Remus..." Lily whispered, standing up. "Oh God..."

"Don't," Remus whispered back. "Don't leave. You have to listen to the rest of what Sirius has to say. That's why I told you. It's important. I'll leave. Stay here."

He turned to leave.

"Remus, wait!" Lily called, stopping him. "I don't... I mean... You don't have to leave, Remus. It's okay. It's... I don't care."

"I'm a monster, Lily," Remus shouted, rounding on her. "I'm a monster that wants to _hurt_ people and kill them and make them what I am."

"You're not a monster, Remus," Lily said softly. "You're Remus. You're a Hogwarts prefect, a Marauder, and my friend."

"Don't forget _werewolf_," Remus spat.

"Just one night a month, Moony," Sirius said quietly.

"Remus, listen," Lily said, taking his hands in hers. "I remember what Professor Mansfield said last year, about werewolves, how they are just normal people with a curse, how they aren't all bad. It's not what you are but who you are that matters. I've never known you to be malicious or hurt anybody. You may be a werewolf, but you're Remus, too. And that's what matters. Does it scare me a little? Yes. But, do you scare me? Not at all."

"That's what James and I have been trying to tell him for years, Lily," Sirius said, looking at her with newfound admiration. He turned to his boyfriend. "See, Moony? I told you it would be okay. Lily's not half bad, or James' wouldn't be so crazy about her."

"Right," Remus said, straightening himself up, "which brings us to the point, Lily, to the reason I told you all this."

"Last Thursday," Sirius continued, "the night James was supposed to patrol, was a full moon. When we figured out in second year that Remus was a werewolf, we vowed that we would find a way to make the transformations more bearable for Remus. We thought that if we were with Remus while he transformed it would be less painful and Remus would be able to be more himself than was he alone."

"After a year of research," Remus continued, "James came up with the stupid, most foolhardy solution. He knew that werewolves were of no harm to animals and so he got it into his stubborn head that he, Peter, and Sirius would become animagi."

"What? That's impossible! It's so dangerous," Lily exclaimed. "So many things can go wrong. Not to mention how _illegal_ it is."

"Trust me," Remus agreed, "I know. You have no idea how _guilty_ I felt – feel – knowing that those three have been risking everything for me since third year. I tried to convince them that it was a bad idea, I tried to convince them to not do it, but you know James. You know Sirius. Those two are stubborn to a fault, and Peter was just as into the idea as they were. The three of them were _determined_ to do everything they could to help me."

"We had to," Sirius explained. "We couldn't just sit and watch Remus go through this alone. It wasn't fair. And it took until fifth year, but we finally managed it. All three of us could become animagi. And, since then, every full moon we've snuck out and joined Remus."

"It's helped," Remus told Lily, "I don't think any of them really know or can even imagine the extent to which it's helped."

"We made a vow," Sirius interjected. "We made a vow that we would _never_ miss a full moon for Remus, that we would _never_ let him suffer alone. And we have missed less than a handful of full moons since then. And _that_ is why James couldn't patrol on Thursday. He was helping Remus keep his sanity, keeping a promise he made years ago."

"He feels really bad about it, Lily," Remus said with a sigh. "He has been trying so hard to be a good Head Boy, to not let Dumbledore down – to not let you down. He didn't even remember it was going to be the full moon until Wednesday. He wasn't blowing you off."

"One last thing, and then we're going back to the common room," Sirius said, looking directly into Lily's eyes. "The friendship that he managed to form with you means the _world_ to him. If you do anything, _anything at all_ to hurt him, I personally will see that you become incapable of hurting anybody else ever again. James is a good guy. Don't mess this up."

With one last significant look at Lily, Sirius grabbed Remus hand and the two of them left the Room of Requirement.

After the door shut behind them, Lily sank back into the sofa and buried her face in her hands. Everything was changing so fast and she didn't know what to make of it. James and she were friends and Head students and getting along great and then they were fighting. Sirius was more than just the arrogant prat she'd known. There was more to Peter than the sweet short boy she'd spent so much time with. And Remus, her friend and co-prefect was a werewolf.

The Marauders had this indescribable bond she couldn't wrap her head around. The inner-weavings and complexities of their friendship astounded her. The devotion and the loyalty and the stupid stubbornness. In one evening, so much of what she thought she knew about those four boys was gone. And, in its place, was a large hole of confusion and yearning.

And, for once, Lily didn't know what she was yearning for.

* * *

It wasn't that Maia didn't want to have the book that Allie had suggested she use in order to complete her Herbology essay, _Helpful Herbology _by Negam Walsh, but rather that she didn't mind not having it. She had honestly tried to be disappointed when Madam Pince had said that the book was already checked out, but really, she had been relieved. So, instead of asking around for another copy or, heaven forbid, using a different reference than the one that Allie had suggested, Maia practically skipped out of the library and onto the school grounds.

The sun was shining and the leaves were still green, despite the coming of autumn. Maia knew that this might very well be her last opportunity to enjoy summer weather before autumn fell upon the castle. She kicked off her sandals and made her way over down the lake with every intent to lie in the green grass and soak up the sun and, maybe, wade a bit in the cool water.

The light hearted girl plopped down on the grass under the large tree and laid back to feel the rays of sunlight tickle her eyelids. After a moment of silence, she heard a noise to her right. Opening her eyes and turning onto her side, she saw a familiar looking 6th year girl with thick dark brown hair and dozens of freckles reading a book on the grass a couple meters away from her.

"Oh," Maia grinned at the almost regal looking girl. "I didn't see you. Is it okay if I just...

I'm not in your space, am I?"

"Hmm?" The girl looked up from her book. Her eyes flickered to the spunky girl sprawled on the grass. "Oh, no. It's fine."

The girl returned to her book, and Maia remained on her side and stared blankly at the girl.

The sun seemed to be making her mildly loopy because she couldn't stop staring at the girl. The sleeves of the girl's white oxford were rolled up to the elbows and her yellow and black tie was loose around her neck. Maia noticed that the girl wore uniform pants rather than a skirt, and had them rolled up to just below her knees.

"Won't your shirt get grass stained?" Maia asked, noting that the girl was on her stomach, with her white shirt pressed against the grass.

"I guess so," the girl smiled, unconcerned. "But I know a pretty good stain removing charm."

"Yeah?" Maia asked sleepily. The girl's nose reminded Maia of a more feminine version of Sirius': incredibly straight and slightly small, but not unattractively so. It was the perfect size and shape to allow her dark blue-green eyes to pop from beneath thick lashes.

"Can I help you?" The girl asked, causing Maia to jump to a sitting position on the grass.

"What?"

"You're staring?" The girl closed the book she was reading and sat up to look questioningly at Maia.

"Oh," Maia giggled. "It's just that your nose is incredibly straight."

"Excuse me?" The 6th year frowned.

"Um," Maia internally slapped herself. Too much sunlight couldn't be healthy for a person.

"And, that charm. With the stain removing. It sounds particularly helpful. Do you think, maybe you could teach me?"

"Oh," The girl smiled. She whipped out her wand and demonstrated a slow, sweeping movement. "_luere clotham"_

"Cool," Maia smiled. "I'll try to remember that. So... what are you reading?"

"_Helpful Herbology_ by Negam Walsh. It's a bit boring, to be honest," The girl shrugged, holding up the book. "I just went into the library and grabbed a random book off the shelf. I didn't even look at the title before checking it out. Sometimes I do that, just to learn something new and sometimes, it's even like fate is telling me something from the book that I choose. I was almost a Ravenclaw... but not quite."

"What's fate telling you this time?" Maia chuckled. "That the plants will help you and that you will become very bored with life soon?"

"Maybe, look, I know it's silly. It's just fun, I guess. " The Hufflepuff blushed and shrugged.

"Once, though, I picked up a book on Witches Safety Spells, right before that one creep,

Mulciber, called me a blood traitor and tried to hex me. He couldn't sit for a week."

The two girls shared a smile. Then Maia remembered something and nearly choked on air.

"That's the book I needed!" She exclaimed. "Allie told me it would be helpful for this Herbology Essay I have to write!"

"Oh, here," the Hufflepuff tossed the book over to Maia. "I guess I accidently picked up your fate."

The two of them laughed again and there was a comfortably awkward silence while they looked at each other. Maia cleared her throat.

"I'm Maia. Maia Regarne," she introduced herself.

"I know. Most people know the 7th year Gryffindors. It's not as if you're quiet,"

Maia shrugged in agreement, although she was a bit embarrassed.

The Hufflepuff girl continued: "And I've seen you around a couple times. But I don't blame you for not remembering me. My name is Emmaline Vance."

* * *

Rachel and Helen were wandering through the library, escaping the last waves of heat before autumn took grip upon the castle. The young students felt as though they should have procrastinated more, since all their homework was done and they now had nothing much to do. Rachel didn't even really like books, but had somehow been bored enough to tag along with Helen to the coolest part of the castle.

"So," Rachel began, running her fingers along the spines of the old books. "Why do you think those Slytherins targeted us last spring? I know you hate talking about it, but—"

"Yeah," Helen sighed. "I do hate talking about it. And I honestly don't have any clue."

"I hate bringing up your Dad again," Rachel persisted as Helen opened a random book just to avoid looking at her friend. "But do you think, that maybe now that he's gone… they are expecting somebody to… I don't know… fill in, or something?"

Helen bit back a groan. She understood why Rachel wanted to talk about the event of the previous spring, but she, personally, just wanted to forget all about it.

"I hate you bringing up my father. Again."

Helen closed the book she had been holding and put it back on the shelf. As she turned to face Rachel and tell her off, she noticed the red haired girl leaning over a table of books. Seeing Lily had reminded the fourth year of something that she had wanted to say to her.

"Look," she said to her friend, "I know you don't like the library. You can leave. I see Lily over there and I wanted to talk to her anyways."

Rachel rolled her eyes at Helen's difficultness and, saying goodbye, walked out of the library.

Helen knew that Rachel was irritated, but she knew it would blow over, as it always did. Rachel was her best friend and would always be. Maybe, Helen would be able to talk about her father some day, but right now, she still couldn't stand to.

But she had quite a few things to say to Lily Evans, her role model and big sister-like figure.

"Hi, Lily," she said, sitting down at the table where Lily sat studying.

"Hey, Helen," Lily smiled and closed her book. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Helen smiled, pushing all thoughts of her Dad and Rachel's suspicions out of her head. "What are you doing?"

"Well, I was working on an Arithmancy essay, but it's not due until Friday and I think I need a well deserved break," Lily smiled.

"Yeah, seriously," Helen chuckled. "You work so hard. No wonder you blew up like that in the common room the other night. What was that about anyways? Did James ask you out again?"

"No," Lily sighed. "Really, it was a big misunderstanding. I actually kind of made a mistake and regret freaking out like that. It made sense at the time, but now James is mad at me and I really don't want him to be."

"Why can't you just talk to him?" Helen asked, tucking a strand of straight brown hair behind her mildly large ears. "I mean, I don't think he's actually capable of hating you."

"I'm not so sure." Lily had once thought that nothing could possibly make James Potter stop badgering her with attempts at romance, but now it seemed as if he hardly wanted anything to do with her. He had been so adamant about the 'friends' thing, that Lily had started to think that he wasn't even interested in her at all anymore. He hadn't even asked her out for over a year.

They had had huge fights in the past, always about small things. She knew that James would forgive her for calling him names, for rejecting him, even for bruising his big man ego. It was only recently that they had started fighting about things that mattered and Lily wasn't so sure that James would be so forgiving of something like this.

"How can you not be sure?" Helen furrowed her eyebrows. "Being Peter's sister, I've heard a lot of things I'm sure those boys wouldn't want me to have heard. I also know the four of them better than they realise. James has loved you since before I met him. I know that one serious fight couldn't crush that. He _is_a stubborn Gryffindor, after all."

"I'm not sure I would forgive me for this," Lily answered, her eyes starting to itch. "I was really unfair."

"You're Lily Evans," Helen reassured her, taking her hand. "You're fiery and self righteous and beautiful. If James wanted somebody who was _fair_, he would've chosen a Hufflepuff, but no. He wants you and always has. Just talk to him. Tell him you're sorry and that you understand now."

"Thanks, sweetie," Lily blinked the tears forming in her eyes away. She wasn't sure why she was letting Helen see how much she cared, how much this bothered her. But there was something about the slightly awkward young teen that made the prospect of talking about James less scary. "You're the coolest 4th year I know. Actually, one of the coolest people as well. Do you really think he'll be willing to talk to me?"

"Probably," Helen shrugged, blushing at the compliment. "I guess it depends… what were you two even fighting about?"

"I'm sorry, I can't actually tell you. Just…. Head Duties, I guess."

"Okay, well then," Helen stood up. "I'll put my money on him forgiving you. Nobody can be _that_ serious about Head Duties."

"Thanks," Lily smiled, packing up her things and also standing up. "You know what I could go for right about now?"

"What?"

"Ice cream. You wouldn't by any chance know how to get to the kitchens, would you?"

"You don't know?" Helen scoffed.

"No," Lily admitted, "I don't. That's what you get for being a rule-following bore for six years. You end up with no idea where the kitchens are. But, does that mean you know?"

"I'm not Peter's little sister for nothing," Helen winked and grabbed Lily's arm, pulling her out of the library. "And I could go for some ice cream right about now, too."

* * *

Lily was trying to take Helen's advice. The fourteen year old girl had had a point, even if it was muddled by not completely understanding the situation between herself and James. But the advice was proving much harder for Lily to follow than she had anticipated.

James, it seemed, was avoiding her. She hadn't noticed previous week, before her conversation with Remus and Sirius. She'd been too angry with him, then, and too determined to ignore him to realise that there wasn't much to avoid. He was never in the common room during evenings and at meals he was too occupied with his friends to pay any attention to Lily.

Finally, the next Tuesday, nearly two weeks after their explosive fight in the common room, Lily had the chance she'd been waiting for. The patrol schedule, once again, had her patrolling with James.

"Hey," Lily said as James approached her where she stood waiting for him at the portrait hole. "Shall we get started then?"

James nodded and the two of them set off down the corridor.

"What, not shocked that I managed to show up?" he asked as they walked, his voice cold and sarcastic. "I'm not late, am I? Sorry if my watch doesn't match up perfectly with yours."

"No," Lily said quietly, looking at the floor. She hadn't expected this coldness. "Look, James. I'm sorry."

"Sorry, Evans," James said, his voice still cold, "Did I just hear right? Did you get down off your throne long enough to apologise?"

"Yes!" Lily exclaimed. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for not trusting you, for assuming the worst in you, for yelling at you in front of the entire house."

"Why this sudden change of heart? I thought I was a promise-breaking, arrogant toe-rag."

"Remus and Sirius talked to me," Lily answered.

"Oh, so you'll believe them but not me? Great."

"No, James, _listen,_" Lily demanded. She stopped walking and grabbed James' wrist. "They told me what you were doing, why you couldn't patrol Thursday night."

"They told you _what_?" James blanched. "Merlin... Those idiots!"

"You mean... you mean, they didn't tell you they were going to talk to me? You didn't ask them to?"

"No," James said, "They didn't. I had no idea. What exactly did they tell you?'

"Well," Lily hesitated. She'd expected James to take her apologies, not to ask questions. And while she was sure that Remus and Sirius wouldn't mind her talking to James about this, she wasn't sure she wanted to. It would be so much easier to pretend they'd been joking and just forget the whole ordeal. She didn't want to think of her one friend as a werewolf and her other friends gallivanting around as animals once a month.

But James was looking at her so intensely she wanted to look away but couldn't. He looked panicked, eyes wide behind his glasses and mouth slightly open. He didn't ask her again but stood, one arm against the wall, almost for support.

"They told me about Remus," Lily said in a small voice. "They told me what happens when he... visits his ill mother... And they told me how you guys – you, Peter, and Sirius – help him out. Don't get mad at them, James. They were just trying to help."

"Lily," James said, his voice in an urgent whisper, "this absolutely has to stay a secret. I'm dead serious. Nobody, _nobody_, can know about this. That includes Maia, Allie, Kate, everybody. It could jeopardise Remus' education here. It could sentence me, Peter, and Sirius to expulsion, up to fifteen years in Azkaban, and thousands of galleons in fines. Do you understand?"

"So...It's true, then. It wasn't some stupid joke after all."

"Do you think we could joke about something like this, Lily?"

Lily shook her head and took a deep breath before speaking, "Yes, I understand. I promise that I won't tell anybody, James. You can trust me."

James looked at her through slightly narrow eyes, searching and calculating. Lily looked back into his eyes, pleading, begging him to trust her even though she hadn't trusted him. Finally he nodded and smiled slightly.

"I know," he said, running his hands through his hair.

"And you're not mad, are you?"

"No," James sighed. "I suppose not. After all, it really is Remus' to tell. It was all for him."

"Good," Lily said. There was a moment's quiet, both of them not sure what to say. Finally, Lily broke the silence. "Well, we should probably actually start patrolling. It's getting late and the castle isn't getting smaller."

"Right," James said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and began walking along side Lily. "So, um, Lily?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly is it that we do on these patrols?" James asked timidly.

Lily laughed.

"Hey, Evans," James exclaimed, "I've never done this before. I wasn't a prefect or anything. I really don't know how this Head thing works."

"Sorry," Lily said, trying to hold back her giggles. "I'm not laughing at your lack of knowledge."

"Yes you are," James replied flatly.

"Okay," Lily teased, "maybe a little. But it's fine. All we do is walk around the corridors and make sure that no students are out of bed or making mischief. If we find anybody, we have to deduct points and give a detention. But, I don't like doing that, really."

"You don't?" James asked, looking at her in surprise. "The amount of times you've threatened me with detention I figured you loved it."

"You're a special case," Lily smiled. "You just really know how to bug me. No, but if you give out punishments you have to fill out more paperwork at the end of the patrol and deal with Filch. Plus, the kids always look at you like you're ruining their lives when, really, you're just doing your job. I like it better when I can just walk around the castle in peace."

"Well, then," James smirked, "I also hope we don't find anybody out of bed. I have the feeling that I would hate filling out the paperwork for Filch more than you would. Not to mention, me chastising students for being out after hours would just be damn hypocritical."

"You know, Lily," James said as they entered the common room at the end of their patrols. It was two hours later and they had successfully managed to make it through the entire castle without any bickering or explosive fights. As Lily had hoped, there were no roaming students to punish, but both Lily and James were exhausted.

"Yes, James?" Lily looked up at him questioningly.

"You never asked what I turn into," he stated. "You know, as an animagus."

"Oh, I didn't think about it, really," Lily said slowly. "I guess the idea that you could actually turn into an animal at will seems so unbelievable."

"Underestimating my talent, Evans?" James teased. "You know, I'm the top student in Transfiguration _and_ McGonagall's favourite. If anybody could do it, it'd be me."

"Always cocky and arrogant, aren't you, Potter," Lily shot back.

James was about to shoot something back in defence before he saw that she was grinning. It was a different grin than he had seen on her before. It wasn't the bright, excited smile that crossed her face when she was laughing with her friends nor was it the slightly smug yet embarrassed smile that flitted across her lips after she performed a spell or charm especially well. No, this one was slightly cheeky and almost flirtatious.

"But its okay, since it's the truth," James said, returning her grin.

"Whatever you say, Potter," Lily said, the smile still on her face. "So, what's your animagus form?"

"That's for me to know," James said slyly, turning away from her and heading towards the staircase up to the boys' dormitory, "and you to find out. Maybe."

"You know, James," Lily said as he walked up the stairs.

"Yes, Lily?" he asked, stopping to turn around and look at her, standing alone in the fire lit room.

"You're not half bad at this patrolling thing. Even if you are too sure of yourself for your own good."

"I know," James said in the cockiest voice he could muster. But the normally cocky grin on his face had been replaced with a genuine smile at Lily's compliment. "And don't you forget it."

* * *

"I love you, Moony," Sirius sighed into his lover's hair as they sat near the edge of the forbidden forest.

Remus grinned and snuggled closer against his boyfriend.

"I love you too," Remus mumbled, his face pressed against Sirius' chest. "You know I'm sorry, right? About not trusting you."

"I guess it makes sense," Sirius whispered, his arms squeezing Remus against him tighter as the sun cast long shadows from behind the trees.

The afternoon heat was fading and evening birds were just starting to sing. There were students littering the grounds, joking and relaxing before they were forced inside by curfew. However, Remus and Sirius had managed to find this place, decently far away from the other students. Here they could be alone together.

"No," Remus shook his head, "It doesn't make sense. I should've trusted you. You've made mistakes before and you've been rash and stupid. I mean, it's not like you've always been the most grounded person ever-"

"Yeah, I get it Moony," Sirius growled through a laugh.

"No," Remus shook his head sternly and pulling away from his boyfriend just enough so that they could look each other in the eye. "I wasn't finished. You might not be the most grounded person ever, but you love me. I don't know why, but you do. And even though Greggor is... incredibly handsome and charming and... well to be honest, a lot more like you-"

"Don't compare me to that git! Handsome and charming my arse. He's a right pig."

"Well, perhaps better a pig than the big bad wolf," Remus chuckled.

Sirius looked confused, but shrugged.

"Big Bad Wolf... really, Remus. I never thought you were the kind to give yourself an egotistical bad boy nickname."

Remus groaned and explained.

"It's a muggle fairy tale thing. Don't worry about it." He kissed Sirius softly on the lips and tucked back a strand of his black hair.

"What I was trying to say, Sirius, is that next time, I know you'll hex whoever comes on to you before they have your hands down your pants and I walk in on such a traumatizing scene."

"Somehow, that seemed more like a reprimand than a declaration of trust," Sirius commented, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well," Remus gave his boyfriend a small smile. "I love you."

Before Sirius could respond, Remus leaned back against him and pressed their lips together in a sweet, yet hungry way. Remus crawled forward so that they were leaning against each other, they're chest rising and falling in unison as they kissed.

Sirius sighed against Remus' mouth, loving every sensation in his body, from the cool grass tickling his bare feet to the earthy scent of Remus.

When they had been apart over the summer, Sirius had felt such as though part of him was missing; An important part, like, perhaps his tongue. It was as if he wasn't whole and had this intense craving to taste something, anything, again. He couldn't talk, he couldn't eat, he didn't even feel like himself. And that had scared him. It worried him that he was so dependent on another human being, not to mention it made him feel like a lovesick girl.

Of course, as soon as he had Remus again, he was okay and didn't care that he was dependent. That's why their recent moments of intimacy had been so intensely beautiful. From the way Remus would gently bite his lips and grasp at his hair, Sirius could tell that Remus needed him in exactly the same way.

Remus pulled back, blushing and looking around at the not entirely empty grounds. Nobody had been watching them, however, and it was now too dark for anyone to see them properly so his blush faded and he kissed Sirius once more, softly on the lips before standing up and brushing off his clothing.

"We should probably get back," Remus sighed. "Curfew is in ten minutes, after all."

Sirius groaned. "Only because we don't have the map or the cloak on us, will I agree to such arbitrary rules."

"And because you would feel stupid sitting outside by yourself," Remus smirked.

Sirius shrugged and stood up, intertwining their fingers together. They walked leisurely across the grounds, talking softly about, nothing in particular: the colour of the sky, the coldness of Remus' hands and the craving for marshmallows.

"Damn faggots."

Their conversation stopped abruptly and they looked around them. A group of Hufflepuff boys walked past them, glancing their way with disgusted looks on their faces.

"Nasty," one of them muttered.

Sirius eyes narrowed and his hand twitched for his wand, but when he looked at Remus' frozen expression, he stopped, concerned.

The Hufflepuffs continued walking, but Remus and Sirius stood still, Sirius trying to gage Remus' expression, and Remus staring blankly ahead.

"Hey, you want me to go hex them?" Sirius asked, uneasy.

Remus shook his head, his mouth dry and head foggy.

"Moony, you okay?" Sirius asked, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's waste only to be shaken off.

"I'm just..." Remus started, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."

"Uh..." Sirius started, but Remus was already walking full speed away from him. Sirius had rarely seen Remus react like that to anything and he didn't really get it. What did it matter what some stupid ass Hufflepuffs thought? And since when was being called names a new thing?

That's when he realised: nobody really called Moony names. He was the quiet, good Marauder that people always had a soft respect for. He rarely got negative attention, even from Slytherins, as the limelight was always on James and Sirius. Sirius used to hear homophobic slurs nearly every week after he came out, but by now everyone was pretty much over it. Not to mention that Sirius almost got off on being hated by close minded people.

But now, Sirius was standing alone, outside after curfew, feeling angrier than he had felt in a long time.

* * *

[A/N: So... I think it'd be awesome if I could get past the milestone of 150 reviews... Please, let me know what you thought of this chapter. What was your favourite part/line/moment? What sentences seemed a bit off? Which part made you happiest? Which part made you want to kill us? Please, let me know what you think! It's not that hard, really, to drop a line and I appreciate it so much. We love this story and we know where it's going... but writing is about communication and telling a story... so what does this story say to you? Much love 3]


	26. Stepping Back, Looking at Life

[A/N: First and foremost, we owe all of you wonderful readers a huge apology. Flameintheflood had finals, I moved into a new apartment, then there were grad parties and summer classes and all of a sudden it had been three weeks! We are terribly sorry! Thanks to my lovely reviewers: jc, Highqueen_Julietta, xxMOONandPAWxx, Fun-Sized Kirk, photographwall, too many stars to count, SWAddict1986, proudtobeatheatrekid, paulmmco, and ravenclawlupin11. Your feedback means so much to me and I appreciate it!

Also, the songs what we pick to start our chapters we pick carefully. They have meaning beyond something fun at the beginning of the chapter. So, if you so care, listen to them for added... fun? Completely not mandatory, though. Now, enough blabbling!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I will not make any money off of this.]

**Chapter 26: Stepping Back, Looking at Life**

_"It'd be nice to hold your hand_  
_as we shifted through this twisted abandon_  
_I would like to think that you know your way"_

_"No Doubling Back" Jason Mraz_

For the first time since the Hufflepuff's remark two days previously, Sirius and Remus found themselves alone together in their dormitory. Remus was lying on his stomach in his bed reading the Charms textbook, occasionally underlining or adding notes in the margins. Sirius sat on his own bed, staring at his boyfriend.

"You're staring at me," Remus said, not looking away from his textbook.

"Yeah," Sirius said, dully. "You're incredibly sexy with your book and quill and Merlin… you're so boring."

"I'm sorry my study habits bore you," Remus replied, his eyes fixed on the page.

Sirius stood up and went to drape his body across the other boy's bed. He rested his chin on Remus' shoulder and leaned into him.

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, a slight tone of irritation in his voice.

"Cuddling?" Sirius answered.

"Padfoot," Remus sighed, "I'm trying to do my homework. Please? Not now."

"Homework?" Sirius scoffed, "You're just reading and taking notes. In fact, I'm in your Charms class. We don't even have a reading due."

"Full moon coming up," Remus answered. "I want to get ahead."

"Remus," Sirius deadpanned, "the full moon isn't for two weeks. C'mon."

"I'm not in the mood," Remus insisted. "Just, please, go away."

"Not in the mood?" Sirius questioned, looking at his boyfriend as though he had sprouted an extra limb. He sat up. "Not in the mood for cuddling? Since when are you ever not in the mood for cuddling?"

"Since now," Remus snapped, shutting his book and standing up. "If you won't leave me alone, I'll go study elsewhere."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sirius demanded. He stood up and took one of Remus' hands.

"Nothing the fuck is wrong with me, Sirius!" Remus exclaimed, pulling his hand out of Sirius' grasp. "I just need to study."

"Did I do something?" Sirius asked, his pulse racing and heart sinking at the same time.

It had been like this for the past two days. At first Sirius had thought the younger boys' words had just upset Remus, but now felt as though Remus was upset with him. All his attempts to flirt with, kiss, or even just talk to his boyfriend had been fruitless. Never before in their relationship had Remus been so distant and cold. Sure, Sirius often initiated intimacy, but Remus always responded enthusiastically. Now it was though a wall had been built between them, and Sirius didn't know how it had gotten there or how he could break it down.

"Tell me," Sirius continued when Remus did not respond, "What did I do?"

"You didn't… God, Sirius, I'm just... I don't know." And, before Sirius could respond, Remus had crossed the room and left, shutting the door behind him.

Sirius stood for a moment, staring at the closed door in silence. He started walking towards it, stopped, turned around, stopped again, turned back to face the door, and sighed. He took one step towards the door, shook his head and walked calmly back to his bed. He sank down onto his bed and grabbed the full glass of water on his nightstand. Sirius took a deep breath and a sip of the water.

Suddenly, he jumped up and threw the glass, still full of water, across the room. It hit the door, shattering and sending shards of glass everywhere. Water dripped down the wooden door into a puddle on the floor.

Sirius collapsed onto his bed, his throat tight and his mind full of questions.

* * *

_3 October_

_Dear Josh,_

_How are you? How is your job? Are you still liking it? I know you can't say much more than you have, working in the DoM, even though you're just a clerk… but small details? Any cool guys? Any pretty girls? How is your boss?_

_School is still fine. I still love my classes but I miss you. I miss you a lot. Arithmancy is much harder to get through without you as my personal tutor. Remus helps, but he hasn't already taken the class, so he's not as good at helping. Mostly, I just miss you, Josh._

_Lily's made an excellent Head Girl. And, surprisingly enough, James has made a good Head Boy. The younger students respect him, I think. Plus, some of them are just scared he'll hex them if they don't behave. Still… He and Lily work really well together. I don't think anybody would have guessed that! But there have only been a few explosive fights. Mostly they're friends._

_It's nice, actually. We've been hanging out a lot more with the guys this year. It's really like we're all one group of friends. I'm jealous though, everybody else has their significant other here (except for Lily and James… but that's Lily and James) and you're not here. It makes me miss you even more._

_Write me soon, please._

_All my love,_

_Allie.

* * *

_

"You about ready?" James asked as he approached Lily in the Common Room. He looked at his watch, "It's almost eight-o-clock."

"Just let me finish this sentence," Lily answered. She scribbled a couple of lines before setting her quill down and nodding curtly at the parchment. Lily brushed her hair out of her eyes and looked up at James. "You ready?"

"I have been," James replied with a smile. "What were you working on?"

"I was finishing up an essay," Lily answered as she closed her books and stacked them neatly beside her parchment and quill before standing up.

"What essay?" James asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Potions," Maia answered with a smirk from where she sat lounging on the couch.

"We have a Potions essay due?" James exclaimed.

"No," Lily answered slowly, giving Maia a strange look, "not until next week at any rate. It was for Arithmancy, so you don't have to worry about it."

"Okay, good," James sighed in relief. He gestured toward the exit of Gryffindor Tower and smiled at Lily. "After you, love."

Lily rolled her eyes but led the way across the room.

"I thought you'd like to know that I finally passed a Head Boy milestone," James said as the two of them walked away from the Portrait Hole.

"You've passed many milestones, James," Lily answered with a laugh. "You've patrolled, conducted meetings, done reports…"

"And now I've given a detention," James added, his voice somewhere between proud and ashamed.

"James, that's not new," Lily said, turning her head to look at him curiously. "We've given detentions. We just gave one last Thursday to a fourth year Ravenclaw for sneaking to the kitchens."

"That's different," James insisted, "You technically gave those. I just stood there and looked stern and powerful."

"And added some choice words of 'If you're going to break curfew it's better to not get caught because we don't like giving detentions anymore than you like getting them,'" Lily added with a giggle.

"It's not the same, Lily," James protested. "I gave a detention all on my own, _not_ while on a patrol."

"Wow, James," Lily said sarcastically, "You gave a detention! A whole detention in over a month of being Head Boy!"

"It's a big deal, Lily. I'm a Marauder! I serve detentions, not give them. I am a prankster, a trouble maker. I almost feel as though I've betrayed myself, betrayed who I am!"

"Potter," Lily said, "You've done nothing over the past year but show me time and time again that you aren't just a prankster. There's more to James Potter than Marauder. There's… Head Boy, for instance. And Marauder-James-Potter is going to have to get used to Head-Boy-James-Potter handing out detentions. You will be doing more and more of it as the year goes on."

"Great," James said dryly.

They continued to walk through the halls, checking classrooms for roaming students.

"You're so difficult, James," Lily said after a moment as James checked a broom closet.

"Am I?" He asked. He shut the closet door and turned to look at her with raised eyebrows. There was no annoyance in his tone, just mild curiosity.

"Yes," Lily answered.

She wasn't sure what to say beyond that, wasn't sure what even had spurred her to say it. But it was true; she still couldn't quite figure him out. Despite having known for almost a year that he wasn't the same annoying and mischievous boy he'd once been and having accepted that same fact a month previously, she still couldn't quite figure out what she thought of him.

Without a doubt, James Potter was still the same person, just more grown up. He still infuriated her more than anyone else she'd ever met. He knew exactly what to say to make her flush furiously. But their fights which had once been so explosive had shifted to friendly banter and she found herself enjoying them.

Rather than insulting each other, they'd dispute ideas and motives. They'd argue over which angle was best for wrist motion in a particular Transfiguration spell (he usually one those arguments) or what speed was best for mixing the most potent potions (Lily won these). Even the non academic debates they had were enjoyable. She'd come to realise that it was easy being with James, easy to talk to him about anything from Kate and Caleb's bickering to plans after Hogwarts.

And, somehow, James had gotten to be the best at not only riling Lily up, but also calming her down. He knew what to say when she was stressed to the point of tears over schoolwork and Head Duties. He listened when she ranted about her sister and how unfair it was.

James had learned how far he could push his pranking before it actually would upset Lily, and Lily found herself more able to tolerate his and his friends' practical jokes. Where they'd once infuriated her, they now amused her. She knew that he, Sirius, Peter, and Remus still played pranks. But they were no longer ever at the expense of anyone, not even Snape and his friends. And, so, Lily pretended she didn't know who charmed the suits of armour whistle at passersby or transfigured the entire Hogwarts supply of cutlery to muggle tongue depressors. Instead, she laughed with the rest of the student body.

Now that she wasn't set against him, Lily understood why he was (and always had been) so popular. What she'd come to realise several months ago she now relied on. He was sweet, funny, charming, and loyal. He was great. But she still wasn't sure what to make of it, of this James that she had grown to appreciate and enjoy spending time with.

"Lily?" James said after a few minutes, snapping Lily out of her thoughts and bringing her attention back to the 6th floor they'd just finished patrolling.

"Sorry," Lily said, blushing, "I got lost in my thoughts."

"Thinking about me can be very consuming," James teased.

"I was not thinking of you!" Lily exclaimed. She felt her face grow warm and knew she was blushing even more.

"So you weren't thinking about why I'm difficult?" James smirked.

"Oh, that's easy," Lily said. "You're difficult because you're an arrogant, bullying toe-rag."

"You pain me, Evans," James said, holding a hand to his chest and grimacing mockingly. "Or, I would be if I thought you meant that at all."

"Of course I mean it," Lily said, doing her best to keep a straight face and failing miserably.

"Good thing I didn't befriend you in first year, Evans," James laughed, looking at her pursed lips and red face. "You'd make a terrible Marauder. You're a horrid liar."

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

"It is, if you're a Marauder."

"Well, good thing I'm not then," Lily quipped. "Besides, Sirius would be very jealous."

"He'd live," James replied lightly. "Admit it, Evans, you like me."

"I tolerate you. There's a difference," Lily said, shoving him lightly.

He looked at her disbelievingly.

"Fine, fine," Lily said, disgruntled. "You're a fine chap."

"I'll take that," James said, a grin forming on his face.

"So," Lily said as they walked down the stairs to the Transfiguration wing, "What did you give that detention for and to whom? I know how much you despise giving them."

"Oh," James said, his grin fading and his expression darkening, "Can't you just read the report."

"I could," Lily admitted, "but now I'm curious and I don't want to have to look through the filing cabinet."

"It was some third year Hufflepuff boys," James said slowly, glaring at the ground in front of him as they continued to walk. "I highly doubt you know them."

"What did they do?" Lily asked.

"They called Sirius and Remus faggots," James said slowly, still not looking at Lily. "Sirius was fuming. I don't think he minded it himself, but calling Moony that... It just really got to him."

James looked up at Lily. She was looking at him intently, taking in his words and expressions. She didn't say anything, just continued to look at him.

"Well, Sirius came to find me," James continued. "He was ready to go find the boys and hex them to next year. And, I'll admit, I was pretty close to forgetting everything else and going with him. Remus has enough to deal with; he doesn't need that bull shit. And he's never had to deal with it before. He's _Remus_."

"You didn't hex them?" Lily asked. She was surprised and even somewhat disappointed. She knew that if James admitted to hexing them she wouldn't reprimand him, not this time.

"Of course not, Lily," James said coldly. "I can't do that anymore; you know that. I told Sirius that I'd take care of it by myself. He was quite angry with me for that, to be honest. I think he really wanted to pay those kids back himself. But I made him promise not to do anything. I found them, deducted a total of one hundred points from Hufflepuff and gave them each a weeks' worth of detention for harassment. I actually don't think they realised I was serious. They tried to argue back until I threatened to take more House points and actually hex them."

"Oh, James," Lily said softly. And without thinking she turned to him and put her arms around him.

James stiffened for a second before returning the embrace. He breathed in deeply, taking in the scent of Lily's hair and the feel of her arms around him. All of his renewed anger towards the Hufflepuff boys faded away and there was nothing but Lily. Lily and him.

"What was that for?" James asked when she pulled away. "Not that I didn't appreciate it, but..."

"For being you, James," Lily said quietly. "For not hexing those boys even if they deserved it, for being a great friend and a good partner."

"Thanks, Lily," James replied quietly. "That means a lot to me, you know."

"I know," Lily said, smiling up at him. "It means a lot to me, too."

The rest of their patrol went smoothly. A couple of First Year Slytherins were wandering around the third floor, but the pair of them looked so frightened at the sight of Lily and James and had apologised so profusely, that the Head Students had just walked them back to their Common Room with just a warning.

"So," James started casually as he and Lily sat in the Prefect Office filling out the report from the night's patrol, "Jenna from Ravenclaw asked me out."

"What?" Lily said, snapping her head up from the paper to look at James in shock.

"Jenna from Ravenc-" James started.

"I _heard_ what you said!" Lily interrupted. "Jenna's..."

"She's a nice girl," James said, studying Lily's face.

Lily didn't notice James' perusing expression, however. Her mind was suddenly going through thoughts very quickly.

"Yes, she's nice..." Lily agreed, not able to form a more substantial thought, much less verbalize a more significant sentence. She struggled to slow her brain down.

James waited patiently for her to continue. He enjoyed watching the emotions cross her face: shock, disbelief, confusion, wariness. He loved watching Lily process things, not that he'd ever tell her this. When information was first given to her, the initial reactions could be read on her face like words on a page, but after those first brief moments of openness, her feelings would suddenly become harder to decipher. Those reactions, the ones she didn't wear on her sleeve for the world to see, were the ones that most interested James. And he was getting better at figuring out what was going on behind her eyes. Still, there were times he wondered if he would ever understand it all, if she would ever be willing to share her thoughts with him.

James sighed at his own musings, causing Lily to snap out of her reverie.

"Did you say yes?" She demanded. Suddenly, Lily was nervous.

She had gotten so used to having James around. She hung out with him as much as she did with Maia, Kate, and Allie. More if she counted the time spent on Head Duties. If he suddenly had a girlfriend, he would spend all his time with her. Lily would never see him. After so much time of wanting to be rid of James, the thought of losing him appalled her.

"I haven't said anything either way yet. Do you think I should've said yes?" James teased.

"No! I mean, I don't know. It's up to you I guess. If you really like her, you should. However, if you don't... That'd be horrid to get her hopes up and for nothing. And, to be honest, I don't think you really like her or else you wouldn't be asking me you'd just have said yes. Therefore, I guess you shouldn't say yes. I mean, you don't want to hurt Jenna," Lily rambled.

"Since when do you care so much about Jenna's feelings?" James asked, laughing at Lily's babbling.

"She's a nice girl!" Lily said defensively. "Besides, it's my job to protect people from you!"

"Relax, Lils," James laughed, "I was just teasing you. I said no. You're right, I don't _like_ her."

"Then why ask me?" Lily demanded.

"Do you not understand the concept of teasing, Lily? And they say you're smart."

Lily glared at him.

"Fine," James rolled his eyes, "I just wanted to see how you'd react."

"You, James Potter, are a prat!" Lily exclaimed, swatting him with the report she still had in her hand.

"So I've heard," James said with a wink, "So I've heard."

"And for the record," Lily continued, a blush forming at her hairline, "Date whoever you want. I don't care who you snog."

"So you've said," James chuckled.

* * *

_10 October_

_Dearest Allie,_

_I'm doing well. Work is fine, yes, and I still like it. It does get a bit tedious doing so much office work. I'm looking into the application for apprenticing one of the Unspeakables. Until then, though, I'm learning everything I can about how this office works. The Ministry is quite complicated. I've also signed up for advanced Charms and advanced Transfiguration classes at the Ministry's post-NEWT program. Those start this coming week. I've looked at the syllabi; you'd enjoy them, I think. Too bad we've never had a class together, though, being in class with you would probably be distracting._

_I'm glad Remus is able to help you in Arithmancy. Though, I may be jealous if I didn't know he was taken. Still, I am jealous because he gets to see you every day. Send me an owl if you need any non-immediate help._

_I'm sure Lily is a great Head Girl. I still cannot believe that Professor Dumbledore made James Head Boy. But, he's a good guy. True, I cannot see him and Lily working together, but I don't know either of them that well._

_I miss you, Allie. Let me know when the next Hogsmeade trip is and I'll make sure to get there so we can spend the day together. We can't have you too jealous of your friends. Maybe this being far apart will get easier, but until it does, know that I love you._

_Yours,_

_Josh.

* * *

_

Two Gryffindor Seventh Years sat at the table, papers sprawled in front of them; the red-haired girl had her quill scratching things out and drawing arrows in rapid speed; the other girl was leaning back in her chair looking around as her dry quill was stuck behind her ear.

Maia had found herself being dragged along with Lily into the library for what seemed like the millionth time that week. Lily wanted them to re-read each other's Transfiguration papers. The shorter girl had seemed very excited by this idea, but Maia was less than thrilled. This wasn't a problem of capability or skill; it was a problem of will power. While Lily was constantly inspired by schoolwork, Maia was inspired by, well, other things.

Emmeline Vance sat on the floor of the library, leaning back against one of the huge bookcases. She was reading _Merlin Could Use Muggle Contraptions_ by Geoffrey Grant and her dark hair was pulled into a thick braid, secured with a black band.

The title made Maia smile. She knew that it had probably been pulled off the shelf by chance so as to give her a hint at fate. What were the Library shelves trying to tell Emmeline through Grant?

Maia shook her head to clear it and forced her attention back to Lily.

"Hey, Lils," Maia started, still distracted by muggle contraptions, "why did you want me to look over your Transfiguration paper? You know I'm lousy in that class. Perhaps you should get James to read it over for you tonight instead?"

"Honestly, Maia," Lily sighed, looking up from Maia's essay. "You know I don't like asking people for help."

"You're asking me," Maia pointed out. She was using every bit of Gryffindor stubbornness she had to focus on her conversation with Lily.

"I'm helping you, too. Plus, you're my friend!" Lily argued.

"James is your friend, too. You spend enough time with him," Maia smirked, forcing herself to not keep glancing back at Emmeline. Lily needed her help, and distracted though she was; Maia was a dedicated friend, first and foremost.

"But—"Lily started, pouting. The thought of having James proofread her Transfiguration essay made her incredibly nervous. She didn't think it was that great of an essay and she didn't _really_ want to show it to James.

Maia took her shoulders and looked her sternly in the eyes.

"But nothing. Ask James Potter to help you with it. He'd be more than willing. Not to mention, you know he would be a million times more helpful than me."

Lily sighed in defeat, and Maia, realizing she had won, stood up away from Lily.

"Where are you going?" Lily asked, confused.

"We really don't need to be in the library right now, do we? Besides, it's getting late and you have to get ready to patrol," Maia explained, picking up all their papers and stuffing them in her book bag.

Lily still looked confused, but followed Maia out of the library.

"You're acting rather strange, Maia Regarne, you know that?" Lily commented as they walked through the castle.

"Me? Strange? Really?" Maia's voice was slightly higher pitched than usual, but she was smiling brightly. "No clue what you're on about, Lily."

"Well, if you wanted to talk about something, you know I'm here, right?" Lily smiled kindly.

Maia slowed down and wrapped her arms around her friend.

"Yeah, I know that, Lily. You're such a kind person."Maia released the pleasantly surprised Lily and looked back the way they came.

"Say, I think I forgot something back in the library," Maia added, turning around and half jogging back to the library.

"Do you want me to come with?" Lily called after her spastic friend.

"No, it's okay! Have fun with James!" Maia shouted over her shoulder. "And don't you dare forget to give him your essay!"

Maia had reached a full speed run by the time she reached the corridor to the Library. She skidded to a stop at the doorway and met eyes with Emmeline who looked up from her book. The Hufflepuff scooted over on the floor and motioned for Maia to come sit by her.

"Hello," Maia grinned and plopped down next to the other girl. "What you reading this time?"

"Something about muggle technology," she shrugged and put down the book.

"Oh, that's interesting. Movies are the best thing ever."

"Oh," Emmeline raised her eyebrows, excited. "Are you a muggleborn?"

"Not hardly," Maia shook her head. "But one of my friend, Lily, is, and Allie's Mom is a muggle. They introduced me and my friend Kate to movies a few years ago and I absolutely loved them."

"I don't really get the point of them," Emmeline mused. "They're just like, moving pictures, right? And we have those. I mean, unless you're a big art fan…"

"No," Maia giggled. "It tells a story. It's pretty groovy, I promise."

"Well, you'll have to show me, then," Emmeline suggested.

"Yeah, I guess I will." Maia felt oddly excited about the prospect and wasn't quite sure it was because of the movies.

* * *

"What are we doing, Peter?" Helen asked as she and her brother walked through the Entrance Hall and out into the grounds.

"I've told you, Helen," Peter said, pretending to be annoyed, but smiling all the same, "I don't know. Heather just said to bring you down to the lake at three-o-clock today. That's all I know."

"It's not too cold out," Helen said, letting her cloak fall open. She was right. It was a crisp but mild Sunday afternoon, surprisingly sunny and warm for mid-October in Scotland.

"No, it isn't," Peter agreed. "But, please, don't take off your sweater. Mum will never forgive me if you catch a cold because I let you wander around outside with just your blouse on."

"Mum wouldn't have to know," Helen pointed out.

"Oh, she would," Peter disagreed. "Somehow she would find out and then I'd find myself in the Hospital Wing from a cursed letter."

"Mum would never send you a cursed letter!" Helen giggled. "Maybe she would send you a Howler, though. And that would just embarrass you to death. And _then_ you may end up in the Hospital Wing."

"Exactly. So keep your sweater on. I like to spend as much time _not_ under Madam Pomfrey's care as possible."

"Okay, okay," Helen answered with a roll of her eyes, "I wasn't planning on taking my sweater off anyways. It's not that warm. I just had to play on your overprotective-brother-ness."

Peter didn't say anything in response, but smiled at his younger sister indulgingly. As he'd told Helen, he really didn't have any idea what Heather had planned for the three of them today. Whatever it was, though, he was sure it'd be fun and that Helen would love it.

Heather wasn't like some girls her age. She never complained about Helen hanging around with the two of them and was nothing but nice to the younger girl, even scolding Peter when he teased her. Over the past year, Heather, like Lily and Maia, had become something of an older sister to Helen. The two of them would spend time together without Peter.

At first, Peter had been unsure of what to make of their relationship and even somewhat jealous, but now he was glad for it. While he and Helen had always been close, he knew that it wasn't the same for her as having an older sister. But, over the past year, she now had three surrogate older sisters. And Peter was happy. As much as he loved Helen, he didn't really want to hear about her boy drama or, worse, her questions about "becoming a woman."

Yes, Peter was very grateful that his girlfriend cared so much about his sister.

"There she is!" Helen exclaimed as they approached the lake.

Peter looked to where the young girl pointed. There, indeed, sat Heather. She had spread out a sheet and, next to her, were three large pumpkins.

"Pumpkins?" Peter asked his girlfriend as they walked up to where she sat.

"Yes," Heather answered, smiling. She stood up and met them.

"You're so cute," Peter said, kissing her lightly on the lips.

Heather blushed and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"It's cute that you think that," she answered.

"Peter's _not_ cute," Helen exclaimed, interrupting the seventh years' moment. She walked up to stand behind Heather, arms crossed. "He's my _brother_. He can't be _cute_."

"Helen's right, love," Peter said, stepping back from his girlfriend and looking at his two favourite girls standing next to each other. "I don't think that 'cute' is quite manly enough for me."

"Hmm," Helen said, pretending to consider her brother, "Maybe 'cute' _is _the right word after all."

"Helen!" Peter exclaimed when the two girls burst out laughing.

"Careful, dear," Heather said to the giggling girl. "You have to be very careful what you say to boys. Their egos are _very_ fragile."

"Girls," Peter muttered, not quite under his breath. He rolled his eyes at the two laughing Gryffindors.

"What are we doing, Heather?" Helen asked, once her giggles had subsided. She was looking down at the sheet. Now that they were closer, she could see that not only were there three pumpkins, but also a marker, a large knife, and three large spoons.

"We're going to carve pumpkins for Halloween!"

"Oh, fun!" Helen exclaimed. "We haven't done that in ages, have we, Peter?"

"Not since we were little, no," Peter agreed. "But what are the knives and spoons for?"

"We're going to carve pumpkins without magic," Heather said, a huge smile on her face.

Helen and Peter blinked at her.

"How do we do that?" Helen asked, looking curiously at the pumpkins.

"Are you sure that's safe?" Peter asked at the same time, looking with trepidation at the large knife.

"If a fourteen year old, a sixteen year old, and a seventeen year old, all with magic, can't manage to use a knife safely, then I think I have more to worry about than pumpkin carving being dangerous," Heather answered.

"How do we do it?" Helen asked again.

"Come sit down," Heather said, grabbing the younger girl's hand and pulling her over to the sheet. "I'll show you."

Heather picked up the knife and cut a circle around the pumpkin's stem. She did the same for the other two pumpkins.

"Now we scoop out all the gunk that's inside the pumpkin," Heather explained, handing Peter and Helen each one of the large spoons.

"Can't we just, you know, vanish it? Or use magic?" Peter asked, looking warily between the large orange fruit and the spoon in his hand.

"We could," Heather said, "but then we wouldn't be doing it the muggle way."

"I think you're crazy," Peter teased.

"I think it's fun!" Helen exclaimed. "We never did it like this at home. It was never this much fun!"

"Are you sure you're fourteen, not four?" Peter asked his sister.

Helen responded by sticking her tongue out at him and flinging a large spoon full of pumpkin innards at his face.

"Okay, okay," Peter laughed. "We'll do it this way. But at least let me conjure a bowl for the goop?"

Heather consented with a nod and a smile. The three of them set to work, scooping the seeds out of the pumpkins. By the time they were ready to carve the faces, there was almost as much pumpkin on the three teenagers as there was in the bowl. To Helen's disgruntlement (and Peter's relief), Heather wouldn't let the younger girl carve her own pumpkin, despite her protests that she _was_ in fourth year, after all. But after a couple minutes of argument, she agreed to draw the face she wanted as long as Peter promised not to mess it up.

Two hours later, Helen, Peter, and Heather sat admiring their artwork. Heather had opted for the "traditional" jack-o-lantern face: triangle eyes, a circular nose, and a gap-toothed grin. Peter, on the other hand, had chosen to have his pumpkin look like a joker. Its eyes were misshapen and unequally sized stars, a small square nose, and a crooked mouth. Helen's was easily the best, though. Instead of a face, she had opted to have Peter carve her a stencil of a lion's head.

"It's a lion," Helen had explained when she showed Peter the drawing he was supposed to carve on her pumpkin, "You know, for Gryffindor."

"I can see what it is," Peter had responded slowly. "I just think it will be difficult to carve it correctly."

"Fine," Helen had teased, reaching for the knife, "if you don't think you can do it, I'll just do it myself."

"No, I can do it," Peter had said sternly, reaching for the knife and grabbing it before his little sister could. He had set to work, slowly making sure to follow her lines exactly. When it was done, it was easily the most beautiful pumpkin any of them had seen.

"I had no idea you were such a good artist," Heather said to Helen as they looked at the carved pumpkins.

"It's just a jack-o-lantern!" Helen giggled. "I could've done better if it was on paper and I didn't have to worry about Peter cutting it wrong."

"Hey!" Peter exclaimed, "I think I did a very good job with this."

"Yes, you did," Heather assured him, leaning in and pressing her lips against hers. He kissed her back, albeit briefly, before intertwining his fingers with hers and pulling back. H

"I love you," he said softly.

Helen rolled her eyes.

"I love you, too, Helen," Peter said, turning to look at her sister, "even if you are an annoying little twerp."

"Love ya, Pete," Helen giggled. "Now, I'm hungry. Can we go to dinner? Will you sit with me?"

"Of course, sweetie," Heather answered. "Let's just take these pumpkins up to Gryffindor Tower first."

"And change," Peter added, looking down at his orange-stained sweater.

Helen nodded as Heather waved her wand, causing the three pumpkins to levitate just ahead of them. Helen grabbed Heather's free hand with her own hand, and Peter's hand with her other. Smiling and still admiring their handiwork, the three Gryffindors headed back to the castle.

* * *

The Gryffindor upperclassmen filed out of the Defence Against the Arts classroom. James and Peter were joking rowdily as they entered the corridor while Sirius waited patiently for his boyfriend to put his books into his bag. Rather than being put off that Peter and James had seemingly forgotten about the other two Marauders, Sirius was glad that he had this chance to simply watch his boyfriend while everyone else was bustling around, getting ready to go their next classes.

"Guess what?" Sirius said excitedly to Remus, as they left the classroom.

"Hmm?" Remus responded, not looking at Sirius.

Sirius pretended not to notice the obvious lack of interest and stayed determinedly chipper.

"We have a free period together."

With that, he grabbed his boyfriend's hand and pulled him into a deserted classroom.

Sirius stepped closer to his lover and breathed, "I've missed you," into his ear. He repeated the phrase as he gently bit Remus' earlobe and trailed kisses along him neck.

"I see you every day, Padfoot," Remus sighed, goosebumbs spreading across his arms. His breath became shallower as Sirius gripped his belt loops, pulling them even closer.

"Yeah, but sometimes I feel like we're on different planets," Sirius mumbled, softly rubbing his stubbly cheek against Remus' scarred one, so that their foreheads rested against each others'. "I know you haven't been feeling that well lately. But I'm here to fix that. I love you, Moony. I'd do anything for you."

Sirius pressed their lips together, eliciting a small sigh from Remus. It was gentle at first, almost as though it were their first kiss again, both exploring and unsure. But then Sirius kissed harder, moving his lips against Remus', biting softly and sucking on his boyfriend's lower lip. Remus couldn't help himself, he reciprocated. It was as though a strong, beautiful animal was howling in his chest, wanting nothing more than to devour the moment and savour every taste, every sensation. There was nothing else, Sirius was everything, and he was on fire, incapable of doing anything but let Sirius' push him against the wall and lean into him.

Then he pulled away, abruptly pushing Sirius off him. The black haired boy's lips were swollen and his breath short as he stared at Remus in confusion.

"What?" Sirius asked.

Remus walked away from the wall, not saying anything.

Sirius stared at his boyfriend, completely defeated. It was as if the slowly crumbling world had just lost its last hope for survival. Remus had been getting colder and colder for the last few days and just now, there had been a sort of fire that had started to melt the ice. But Remus had pulled away and Sirius didn't understand why the ice had been there in the first place. Sirius didn't understand why Remus was slowly backing away from him, shaking his head. Sirius didn't understand.

"I can't do this," Remus said, his chest heaving. "I'm not…"

"You can't do what?" Sirius demanded, resisting the urge to touch his lover again.

"This!" Remus exclaimed, his voice raising. He kept backing up until he hit a table that was pushed against the wall. He stumbled and stopped moving.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Moony!" Sirius groaned. "Please, just calm down and talk to me. You're being ridiculous."

"I'm not…" Remus shook his head. "Fine. You're right. I am being ridiculous. I don't know what I'm doing with you."

"Well, I was under the impression that we were snogging," Sirius forced his voice to remain somewhat calm. "Which is normal, seeing as we're in love with each other."

"I don't think I am," Remus stated.

Sirius froze.

"You aren't in love with me?"

"I can't be," Remus clenched his fingers into fists. "I'm not gay."

"What do you mean, you aren't gay?" Sirius was at a loss. "Did you just miss the last, how long has it been, like, ten months?"

"Maybe I thought I was, but I can't be. Being a gay, werewolf, blood traitor isn't exactly a good or easy thing to be." He looked down, ashamed.

"That's stupid. You've been fine with being who you are for ten months and now you're just going to back out? You love me! How could you convince yourself that what you feel isn't real? How could you think that we aren't real?" Sirius voice had escalated in volume and he was now shouting in the empty classroom, not caring who heard in the corridor. He couldn't think. His chest tightened threateningly until it was squeezing so hard he couldn't breathe, but he didn't care. He couldn't care, not when every thought and feeling he'd had towards Remus was racing through his head, every scene replaying, every conversation and loving whisper on repeat.

"You're my friend, Padfoot," Remus said, feeling almost certain of what he was saying. "I don't want to do this…"

"Then don't!" Sirius shouted. He knew he shouldn't be shouting, but he didn't care about that either.

Remus continued, ignoring the interruption.

"We're nearly adults, Sirius. I've been fooling myself, thinking that I could stay in this bubble of happiness with you. I can't. There is a war going on and we can't just pretend like it doesn't affect us. We can't just live like children, Sirius!" Remus was shouting as well, at this point.

"You make no sense! The only person here who is being childish is you. We love each other and it would be simply foolish to let something this great get away from us," Sirius argued, wishing he could just force Remus to stop being irrational.

Remus closed his eyes, trying to steady his breath. Why couldn't Sirius understand? Why wouldn't Sirius just _listen_ to him. This _wasn't_ the way things were supposed to be.

He opened his eyes to the wall, just above Sirius' left shoulder.

"Something great? Tell that to the Hufflepuffs who think we're disgusting!" Remus' sigh almost sounded like a growl. "You're great. I'm just an ugly, werewolf. You could have somebody better!"

"Somebody better? Like who? There's no one better, not for me, Remus! Who in the world could be better for me than you?"

"Like Greggor," Remus replied. "He's much more your type."

"How could you think that? You're my type." Sirius' voice suddenly became quiet, and he understood, at last, what this was about. "Is that what this is about? I thought we were over that."

"That and what I've been saying. I can't handle being a gay werewolf. I'm not like you. I care what people think."

"You can't change who you are, Moony!" Sirius exclaimed.

"Second," Remus continued, once again ignoring the interruption, "the times in which we live are dark and scary and it's far too innocent to think that we can be happy. Which brings me to three: I don't deserve to be happy. I don't deserve you."

"Of course you deserve to be happy. Now more than ever we have to hold on to what is good and love is definitely good. And you'll just have to deal with being a gay werewolf, because it's what you are and there is nothing you can do to change it. _You can't change who you are._"

Sirius had stopped yelling. He forced his voice to be calm, forced himself to be rational. He _had_ to make Remus see that he was wrong. He had to make him see that he was being illogical.

"If you don't deserve me, then nobody does," Sirius said, looking at Remus pleadingly, begging him to understand. "I don't want anybody else. I want you."

"Well," Remus braced himself for the biggest lie that he would ever tell. "I don't want you."

[A/N: So? What did you think? Also, Flame and I were talking the other day and wondering whether our story has gotten better or worse since the start of this. And, of course, tell me what your favourite/least favourite line/moment was? Much love all xx]


	27. Something New

[A/N: Here it is... Chapter 27! Now, this was originally combined with Soon-to-be Chapter 28 as one chapter... but that was really long, so we decided to split it up. Chapter 28, however, just needs to be read over one last time, so it should be up soon. I'd like to thank **paulmcco** for beta-ing this chapter for us. Also, thanks to everybody who added _Kin and Kisses_ to their alerts or favourites list. And of course, more thanks than we can say to crazypotterchick, XDAshleighJadeXD, photographwall, jc, too many stars to count, SWAddict1986, ravenclawLupin11, and Fun-Sized Kirk for reviewing Chapter 26.

Disclaimer: Jo owns Harry Potter in his world. I am not making any money off of this nor do I claim to own the material you recognize from outside the KKverse.]

**Chapter 27 :: Something New**

_"When your mind is a mess, so is mine, I can't sleep._  
_Because it hurts when I think when my thoughts aren't at peace_  
_With the plans that we make and the chances we take._  
_They're not yours, they're not mine._  
_There's waves that can break_

_Jack Johnson; No Other Way_

James sighed as he walked up the stairs from the Gryffindor Common Room to the boys' dormitory. It had been a long day. After Defense Against the Dark Arts all four boys had had a free period before. James and Peter had left the classroom quickly, excitedly discussing what food they would get from the kitchens before Charms class.

James had thought nothing of Remus' and Sirius' absence from their escapade. An unfortunate consequence of having two of the Marauders romantically involved was less time doing things with the entire group. But, as long as his friends were happy and he wasn't completely deprived of Marauding time, James didn't mind too much. At least, not enough to say anything. Besides, he'd been spending more and more time with Lily over the past couple weeks, just doing homework and talking and really being friends. He knew he had no right to complain without being hypocritical.

Still, when he'd walked into the Charms classroom to find Remus sitting alone and staring blankly at the wall, James had started to worry. His concern grew when, not only did Remus refuse to say anything to him about why he was sitting alone, but Sirius failed to show up for Charms. Academically lazy as Sirius might be, he rarely skipped class alone. Classes were, as Sirius always said, the perfect place for testing out new jinxes and pretending they'd been an assignment mishap.

After class, James had tried to catch Remus and force an explanation out of him, but the sandy-haired boy had mumbled an excuse about Prefect duty and escaped. James hadn't had time to go find Sirius; Gryffindor's match against Hufflepuff was approaching and so the team was practicing every day. The fact that it was mid October and pouring down rain didn't seem to merit cause for cancelling practice until Kristi almost fell off her broom trying to catch a wet Quaffle and the new Seeker, Stephanie Donovan, had convinced James that the snitch had, in fact, been lost.

James had just barely made it to dinner on time to find Remus reading at the end of the table, Peter whispering to Helen, and Lily laughing with Maia, Kate, Allie, Caleb, and a dark haired Hufflepuff girl he didn't know the name of. Sirius was, again, absent. Neither the girls nor Peter knew where he was and Remus had pretended he hadn't heard when James asked.

So, here James stood, still soaking wet and not quite satisfied from his rushed dinner, in front of the door to his dormitory. He had decided on his way up from the Great Hall that, if Sirius wasn't in Gryffindor tower, that he'd check the Marauder's Map to figure out where his friend was. Something was wrong, James could tell, and he wasn't going to let it go without an answer, even if it meant spending all night searching all of Hogwarts' secret passageways for his best friend.

But, as it turned out, James didn't have to go to desperate measures to find his friend. When he pushed open the door, he found Sirius sitting on his bed, staring at the wall.

"Hey, Padfoot," James said, pulling off his wet sweater and throwing it on the floor by his bed.

"What?" Sirius flicked his eyes to James, seemingly unable to process the image in front of him. He blinked a couple of times before turning them back to the wall. "Oh, hey, Prongs."

"Where have you been all afternoon?" James asked. He definitely knew something was wrong now. Sirius eyes were stormy and dim as though the boyish light that always shone from them had disappeared. James was reminded of the first few weeks of July, but this seemed almost worse.

"Here," Sirius answered dully, "sitting here, staring at this wall."

"Has the wall done anything remarkable?" James asked.

"Not really," Sirius sighed.

"Yet you continue to stare at it," James pointed out. He walked over and sat down beside his best friend.

"There's nothing particularly special about this wall, Padfoot," James said after a few moments. "It looks the same as it did yesterday, and the day before, and for the past six years. Are you afraid the wall might suddenly change and so you want to commit it to memory? Because, although it is quite a good and sturdy wall, there are other walls. And yet, I still highly doubt that this wall will ever be anything other than the wall it is."

"What are you going on about, Prongs?" Sirius asked, finally turning to look at his friend.

"I'm just talking about the wall," James answered. "Unless, you thought I was talking about something else."

"Half the time I have no idea what the bloody fuck you're talking about," Sirius grumbled.

"And the other half?"

"You're talking about Lily," Sirius replied with a hollow laugh.

"Lily would make quite the wall," James said.

"You've officially lost me, mate," Sirius said. "You have completely lost it. I have no idea what you're talking about."

"What's wrong, Sirius," James said, standing up suddenly and turning to face his friend.

"Other than the fact that you clearly belong in St. Mungo's?" Sirius questioned.

"I'm not daft, Padfoot," James continued. "You've been all messed up since the incident with the Hufflepuffs. And now you're skipping class without me and staring at walls and Remus is avoiding me and there is something going on. I don't want to jump to conclusions and I don't want to force it out of you, but I will because I know what happens when you brood for too long on something, and it's not good."

"I fucked up, Prongs," Sirius said slowly, dropping his head into his hands. "I don't know what I did, but I did something and I fucked up and I fucked it up and I don't know how to fix it."

"What happened?" James asked.

"Remus broke up with me," Sirius explained. "Or, at least, I think he did. He didn't say it in so many words, but he did say that he didn't love me or want me. " He lifted his head and James saw that his eyes were over bright and his mouth was set in a firm grimace.

"And I know it's not true, Prongs," he continued, "It's his stupid inferiority complex talking. But I pushed too far; I did something. And now I've lost him."

James ran his hand through his hair, not sure what to say. As much as he was okay with Sirius and Remus being an item, it wasn't something that he had ever particularly wanted to think about. In fact, he usually pushed all thoughts about what the two of them did when they were together out of his mind. But, here he was, seeing his best friend more broken than he'd ever seen him before. So broken that he wasn't yelling or throwing things, but rather seemed close to tears.

"Do... do you want me to talk to him?" James asked after a minute of silence.

"And say what?" Sirius demanded. "Tell him that it's okay to be a gay werewolf? Tell him that it doesn't matter what other people say? Because I tried to tell him that and it didn't matter. He doesn't want anything to do with it."

"I could try," James offered.

"No," Sirius said sternly, "This is our problem. You have more than enough on your plate with being Head Boy and Quidditch captain and your life-long vocation of wooing Evans. No, I'll deal with it. And if Remus doesn't come around, that's my own problem."

"I just don't want this to break us," James said softly. "I don't want this to break you."

"Blacks don't break easily, Prongs," Sirius said, the ghost of a smile on his lips. But it was gone after only a moment. "Besides, Remus made it very clear that we were, and would always be, friends. Marauders first, I guess."

"If you're sure..." James said hesitantly.

"I'm serious, James," Sirius insisted, "in more ways than one."

"Honestly, Padfoot," James sighed, "That pun was old before you first said it."

"That pun is never old," a voice said from the doorway. "It's like good wine; it only gets better with the years."

"Remus," Sirius said blankly, turning his head to the sandy-haired boy in the doorway.

"Um, yes..." Remus replied. "Don't mind me... I was just getting a few books... I'll leave if you want..."

"Don't bother," Sirius snapped, standing up and striding across the room. "I have things to do. Bye, Prongs."

James watched his best friend storm out of the room and down the stairs. He wasn't sure where he was going, but only hoped it wasn't to do something rash and stupid.

"I'm not quite sure what to say to you," James said slowly, turning to Remus.

"I didn't mean to hurt him," Remus whispered, staring at the door Sirius' just slammed. "I didn't want to hurt him."

"Well, you did," James said. He turned to follow Sirius out the door in hopes to find his friend before he got too far.

"I know," Remus answered. "But I didn't think it would affect him this much. I'm just me."

"Well, 'just you' is a lot more than you seem to realize, Moony," James sighed. "And the day you realize that, we'll all be very happy."

"I don't want this to break us," Remus echoed James's words from earlier.

"Marauders don't break easily," James replied, smiling at his friend. "We've been through worse. We will go through worse, I'm sure. We may crack, but we won't shatter."

"I hope so," Remus sighed. "And I understand if you hate me, if you all hate me. I know you'd choose Sirius over me, James."

"I'm not going to have to choose anybody, Moony," James said firmly. "I'm not going to pretend I'm happy with you, but nobody is choosing sides. We're all on the same side; we can't afford not to be."

"Thanks, Prongs," Remus said, forcing a smile.

"Now, if you don't mind," James said, turning again to leave, "I am going to go find my brother and make sure he doesn't fling himself off the astronomy tower."

Remus sighed as he watched James grab the Map and hurry out of the dormitory. Things were falling apart, and Remus knew it was all his fault. He felt as though a piece of him were missing and no matter how hard he tried to ignore, he couldn't.

Sinking down on his bed, Remus stared at the wall, wishing that things were back to how they'd been fifth year, when he'd been with Allie and Sirius was nothing more than his friend and brother.

'You can't change who you are.'

Sirius' words ran through his head over and over as Remus continued to stare at the wall. Maybe he couldn't change who he was, but that didn't mean he couldn't pretend. Just like he could pretend that his entire world wasn't crumbling beneath him.

"So," Maia said as she led Emmeline into the Muggle Studies' classroom, "This film was the first one that Lily and Allie showed me back in second year. It's a bit cheesy but I love it anyway and I can sing along to all of the songs."

"Songs?" Emmeline questioned.

"It's a musical," Maia explained. "That means that the characters all randomly break into song and dance."

"Muggles are so strange," Emmeline commented, shaking her head.

"Yes, they really are," Maia agreed.

She looked around the classroom. As she'd hoped there was a television set and a video cassette recorder, specially designed to work in Hogwarts.

"You any good at transfiguration?" Maia asked the brown haired girl.

"I s'pose," Emmeline shrugged. "I mean, I got an O on my Transfiguration OWL last year."

"Damn," Maia said. "I just barely scraped by with the E I needed for NEWTs. Do you think you could transfigure a desk into a couch?"

"No problem," Emmeline smirked, twirling her wand lazily in her left hand. With a slight jabbing motion, one of the desks in the front row of the classroom stretched and expanded into a bright yellow squishy couch.

"Yellow?" Maia asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hufflepuff," Emmeline answered with a half shrug.

Maia rolled her eyes and pulled out her own wand. With a similar jabbing motion, the couch transformed into a red and yellow tie dyed pattern.

"Compromise?" Emmeline asked.

"You _are_ a Hufflepuff," Maia retorted.

"Fair enough," Emmeline laughed, walking over to the couch and plopping herself down. "Now, I trust that you brought the film, as I would have no way of knowing anything about that type of thing. But, as you did that – or as I hope you did that – I took it upon myself to bring us some licorice wands and chocolate frogs."

"Awesome," Maia nodded, "but we're missing one thing: popcorn."

"Popcorn?"

"It's the traditional muggle snack of choice while watching a movie," Maia informed her.

"Oh," Emmeline frowned. "I didn't know that. I guess we'll have to do without."

"Yeah, well, I did know that," Maia assured her and pulled a small paper bag of popcorn out of her book bag. Setting that down in front of Emmeline, Maia reached back into her bag and pulled out a video cassette.

"This is what we'll be watching," Maia said, showing Emmeline the movie cover. "It's about witches and wizards and charms from a muggle perspective."

"_The Wizard of Oz,_" Emmeline read. "What's Oz?"

"Well, you'll just have to wait and see," Maia teased.

She walked over to the VCR and popped the cassette into it. After turning on the TV she walked back to the couch and sat down next to Emmeline. The movie began to play and both girls leaned back and tucked their legs underneath themselves.

"Open your mouth," Emmeline said over the opening credits.

Maia did as she was told and Emmeline tossed a piece of popcorn at her, hitting her square in the nose.

"You have horrible aim," Maia smirked.

"No, I did that on purpose," Emmeline answered.

Maia responded by throwing a piece of popcorn back.

"Settle down now," Emmeline said, levitating the popcorn back to Maia. "We are watching a movie."

Maia stuck out her tongue but turned the screen and reached for a licorice wand.

As Dorothy began to sing _Somewhere Over the Rainbow_, Emmeline spoke up again.

"Aren't these supposed to be in colour?"

"Not necessarily," Maia answered, "But this one will be. Don't worry."

"Muggles are so strange," Emmeline repeated, stuffing a handful of popcorn into her mouth as she fixed her eyes on the screen.

"Just wait until the Wicked Witch of the West Appears," Maia chuckled, sparing one last glance at Emmeline before falling quiet again and turning her attention back to the movie.

For the next few days, James took to carrying the Marauder's Map with him. Whenever Sirius would disappear, he would check it to make sure his best friend wasn't doing anything dangerous or stupid.

Most of the time, James would find Sirius in the Owlery, petting Nuntia, the Potter family owl. Nuntia was still there, waiting for James and Sirius to reply to the letters Harold and Grace had been sending all term. After following him the first time, James knew that Sirius just wanted to be alone with a creature that he knew wouldn't hurt him.

A few days later, after convincing himself that Sirius was safe with Nuntia, James made his way back to the Gryffindor Common Room to find Peter and Heather sitting together on the couch.

"Hey, Prongs," Peter grinned as James walked up to them. "How's it going?"

James shrugged and Heather tilted her head, concerned.

"How's Sirius? We just saw him storm out about half an hour ago. Is he okay?"

James sighed and sat down on the couch next to them. "He'll live. Probably. He's in the Owlery again. You know, I've always said, I think that guy needs a pet. Something that can't talk can't kick you out of your house or break your heart."

Peter and Heather exchanged a look.

"Mate," Peter commented. "I know you feel Sirius' pain as if it's your own, but right now, you can't do that to yourself. They'll work it out sooner or later and we just have to not let it affect us too much."

James nodded silently and looked around the common room. Lily Evans sat in a large red arm chair with a book on the other side of the room. The book didn't look particularly riveting, however, as she kept looking up from it to survey her surroundings. Peter followed James' gaze and smiled.

"Say, Prongs," He said. "When was the last time you asked out Lily?"

"Not since the summer after fifth year…" James turned to Peter. "Why?"

"Don't you still love her?" Peter asked, confusion written all over his face. Heather rolled her eyes at her boyfriend's cluelessness.

"You're one of James' best friends and you are seriously doubting that he will always be in love with Lily?" Heather asked, amused. "Somebody, I want an award for the silliest boyfriend on the planet."

"Oh, shush," Peter said, kissing her lightly on the lips. He turned back to James. "It's just, you were so adamant about getting over her, and you haven't asked her out in ages… Now you two are friends. I just figured that if you still liked her, you would be using this opportune moment to win her over."

"Of course I still adore her," James chuckled, glancing back at the girl who was currently pushing a strand of auburn hair out of her face. Despite how close friends the two had recently become, he had never forgotten his true feelings under the guise of a professional, friendly relationship. Even if he never had a chance with her, James would always have a special place for Lily Evans in his heart. "But I figure she knows that and will take me up on it if she wants to."

"I don't think so…" Heather countered, while Peter continued to look clueless. "You've dated other girls, and with you it can be kind of hard to tell if you're flirting or just being nice. Now that you're friends, she might think that you only think of her that way; as friends."

"You think so?" James raised his eyebrows to look at the blonde girl beside him. She nodded, a knowing look on her face. James continued, "Do you think she prefers it that way?"

This time, both Peter and Heather responded together.

"No." James looked at the two of them in surprise. Heather continued.

"She looks at you, sometimes, when you aren't paying attention. You can tell she likes you. Maybe she doesn't know it, exactly, but she definitely feels it."

"I think," Peter continued. "That she's always sort of liked you too, but what with being best friends with Snivilus for so long, she suppressed it, rather intensely."

James considered what they were telling him. The suggestion that his feelings may not be one-sided after all made his stomach wiggle with excitement. His gaze drifted back to Lily, who pulled her legs up under her, on the chair.

"What should I do, then?" James asked his friends. Heather and Peter shared a glance and Heather nodded.

"I think it's time to do it the good old fashioned James Potter way," The blonde boy stated, his voice encouraging. "And by that, I mean, you should ask her out."

"Really?" James asked, his eyes wide. "What if she says no?"

"Well," Peter continued, Heather curled against his side. "You only have one more year to wait. Unless you want to ask her out right before graduation, I suggest you try now. You don't want to waste whatever time we have left."

James nodded and stood up. He grinned broadly at Peter and shook his hand.

Heather smiled up at him and he thanked her with a deep bow.

"You're ridiculous," Heather giggled. "Good luck."

"Don't mess this up, Prongs," Peter teased. "I don't want to hear your laments for the rest of the year."

"Oh, sod off, Wormtail," James laughed. "And thanks, Heather, for your support. You're a _true_ friend."

James looked back over at Lily. Her gaze had drifted, once again, from her book. As she looked around she caught James' looking at her and smiled broadly at him.

Grinning, to himself as much as to Lily, he walked over to her chair, making an effort to not saunter or strut.

"Hey, Lily," he said taking a seat on the arm of her chair. "What are you reading?"

"Oh, nothing much," Lily sighed. "Just a muggle fantasy book."

"Oh?" James asked, tilting the cover so he could see the title. "Which one?"

"It's called _The Silmarillion_," Lily explained. "It's by a muggle named Tolkien. I read his others, but this is brand new. It's not bad, I'm just having trouble focusing."

"Why, something on your mind?" James asked.

Lily fought back a blush and shook her head.

"You know," James commented, changing the subject, "I've read something by that Tolkien guy."

"You have?" Lily asked, widening her eyes in shock. "I didn't think you'd have even heard of him."

"Well, I may have noticed a thing or two that you've done or said or read over the past years," James explained. "I noticed you had read at least three different books by him, so I figured they must be worth something."

"Somehow I don't actually find that creepy," Lily laughed, looking up him. "You know, it's not good for the chair for you to sit on the arm like that."

"Magical reinforcements," James said casually, waving his hand dismissively. "But if you're concerned, you could always move over and make room for me next to you."

"I hardly think this chair is big enough for both of us, James," Lily said, unable to fight back the blush now.

"Oh, well, it was worth a shot," James lamented. He looked over at Peter and Heather. Both of them were trying – and failing – to be discrete in their eavesdropping. James rolled his eyes. To think that Peter was a Marauder. He chuckled to himself and shook his head.

"What's so funny?" Lily asked, confused.

"Oh, just Peter and Heather are very interested in our conversation," James responded lightly.

"Why's that?" Lily asked, furrowing her eyebrows in deepened confusion.

"Well," James said, running a hand through his hair nervously, "I actually was going to ask you something."

"Well, ask," Lily pressed.

"Promise first that you won't hex me," James demanded.

"What?"

"Just… promise… please?"

Lily looked at him, more confused than before. However, a strange swell of hopefulness grew in her stomach.

"Okay," she promised, biting her lower lip in anticipation, "I promise no hexes. Jinxes, maybe."

"Okay," James muttered. "I can handle that. Well, here's the thing. There's a Hogsmeade trip in a couple weekends… which you know, since you're Head Girl, but I wasn't going to ask you about that because it's just Hogsmeade and it's ages away but do you think that maybe we could hang out sometime before that?"

"James," Lily said, her heart suddenly beating much harder in her chest. Was he doing what she thought he was doing? "We hang out all the time."

"Well, yeah," James swallowed, "But I meant… Lily Evans, would you be willing to put aside any negative feelings you may have for me and give me one chance. Would you please… Lily, will you go out-"

"Yes," Lily answered, cutting him off.

"What?" James blinked at her in surprise.

"You were asking me out, right?" Lily smiled.

"Well, I…"

"Oh! God…" Lily sputtered, "You weren't… Oh… I'm sorry!"

"No!" James exclaimed. "I mean, yes. I mean… Lily, will you go out with me?"

"Yes," Lily said, smiling more broadly than before. "Yes, I will."

[A/N: So... thoughts?]


	28. The Second Halloween

[A/N: Look! Less than a week since the last update :) And, what is more, Flameintheflood is visiting me right now at my apartment. This means that, in addition to doing awesome sisterly stuff, we'll be writing together and not emailing things back and forth in an attempt to get these chapters out in a timely manner. As a result, Chapter 29 (and likely Chapter 30) will be up within a decently short period of time. More fun for us, more fun for you, pretty much win all around, I'd say. Thank you to everybody who is reading this, who has put _Kin and Kisses_ on their Favourites and/or Alerts list. Double thanks to all of you who have reviewed: **paulmcco**, **SWAddict1986**, **acompletestranger**, **ravenclawLupin11**, **crazypotterchick**, **XDAshleighJadeXD**, and **too many stars to count**. As I've said before, your continued support means more than we can express. Finally, thanks to **paulmcco** for beta-ing this chapter for us. Now... on to the fic!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor do I own the Wizarding World. Also, I'm not making any money off of this. I write it purely for my and your enjoyment. That's all the pay I need.

* * *

**Chapter 28: The Second Halloween**

_It's only half past the point of oblivion__  
__The hourglass on the table, the walk before the run__  
__The breath before the kiss and the fear before the flames__  
__Have you ever felt this way?_

_Pink; Glitter in the Air

* * *

_

Lily took a deep breath as she stood in front of the door to her dormitory. She knew that her friends were all in the room and that they'd be more than furious if she withheld the recent events any longer than strictly necessary. Still, Lily wasn't quite sure how to tell them that she had just accepted a date with James.

She wasn't entirely sure what had possessed her to say yes. She hadn't even fully realized that she _liked_ James until she knew he was going to ask. And then it had hit her like a bludger. She fancied him. There was no avoiding it, especially since she'd agreed to "go out" with him in one week's time on Halloween.

With that thought, she screwed up all her Gryffindor courage and pushed open the door.

"Hey, Lils," Kate said, looking up from her Quidditch magazine as the door creaked open.

"I fancy James Potter," Lily said without preamble.

Three pairs of eyes looked at her in shock.

"When did Mr. Obvious hit you over the head?" Maia asked, a grin forming on her face.

"About two seconds ago when I realized that I had accepted a date with him," Lily admitted, turning red.

"Oh my God!" Allie exclaimed standing up.

"You _did_?" Maia asked at the same time.

"Finally!" Kate cried, falling backwards onto her pillow.

"How did he do it? What are you guys going to do? When are you going out? Why did you finally decide to say yes?" Allie fired questions in rapid succession.

"What did he say? What did _you_ say? Are you an item now?" Maia continued Allie's stream.

"Let the girl breathe!" Kate laughed. "More importantly, let the girl answer the questions!"

"Um, okay," Lily said, looking at her three best friends with an almost frightened expression on her face. She set down her book bag and sat on her four poster where Allie and Maia immediately joined her.

"Well," Lily began, trying to remember everything they'd asked her, "I was reading in the Common Room and he says he's got this question and I'm just completely clueless, but some part of me was weirdly excited. And then before he could even finish asking the question, I said yes. I don't know… it just came out."

"Our Lily didn't think something through ten times?" Kate teased.

Maia shushed her and motioned for Lily to keep talking.

"As for the next questions," Lily continued, "I don't know _what_ we'll be doing. He didn't say. I presume that it's something here, though knowing James, we could very well be going across the continent. We'll be skipping the Hogwarts' Halloween feast, though, so I'm sure it will include dinner."

"You're missing the feast?" Allie asked, pouting.

"But she's going out with James," Maia answered, "so it's okay."

"Why did you finally decide to say yes?" Allie repeated her question and stuck her tongue out at Maia.

"Like I said, I have no idea. But, I think I made the right choice."

"Bloody right you made the right choice," Kate said, sitting back up and looking at Lily as though she were insane for even considering that she'd made a mistake.

"You guys are almost more excited about this than I am," Lily laughed.

"You're just in shock," Allie assured her.

"And you said 'almost,'" Maia laughed, "which you know means that you're _this close_ to jumping up and down like a third year in Honeyduke's."

"Do you want me to answer your questions or not?" Lily scolded her friend. "Or do you want to keep teasing me?"

"Questions," Maia said. "Answer the questions. Though, I suppose you already said what you said and what he said so… Are you two an item now?"

"I… I don't know," Lily said slowly. "I mean one minute we're friends and then we're flirting and then I'm saying yes to going out with him. I'm just not sure."

"Well, ignoring the fact that you've been flirting all year, do you _want_ to be an item?" Maia asked.

"I… I do," Lily answered, smiling as her face turned an even brighter red. "I mean… I spent so much time not wanting it that now I think I want it even more. Does that make sense?"

"Not really," Kate admitted. "But you're Silly Lily, so it's okay."

"It's okay?" Lily squeaked. "What am I doing? Why did I say yes? There's no way it will work. And then things will be awkward. And then I'll fail as Head Girl and I'll fail my NEWTs and I'll be a failure at life and have to go live with Petunia and Vernon in Surrey!"

"That doesn't even make sense, sweetie," Allie said, putting a hand on Lily's shoulder. "If you fail at life you will live with one of us, not with your sister."

"Just be happy, Lils," Kate said, joining the other three on Lily's bed. "Everybody in this room knows that James adores you and is perfect for you. And you're perfect for him, really. Just be happy."

"I am," Lily said, pulling her friends into a group hug. "I really am."

* * *

"Remus?"

A soft voice startled Remus out of his thoughts. He looked up to find a pair of gentle, light blue eyes looking at him concernedly.

"Hey, Allie," Remus said with a sigh. "What are you up to?"

"Looking for you," Allie replied, pulling out a chair and sitting down across from him. "I was hoping I'd find you here."

"I'd really rather be left alone right now," Remus said, lowering his head to look at the text he was pretending to read.

"Well, too bad," Allie countered. "I don't really feel like leaving you alone. Lily has locked herself in the bathroom, Maia is off with some Hufflepuff, and Kate is... well, I'm not sure where Kate is, exactly. But the point remains that I don't really feel like leaving you alone. Not right now, not when you need a friend."

"You think I need a friend?" Remus muttered darkly.

Allie nodded in affirmation.

"So," Remus continued, "You aren't of the same opinion as the rest of Hogwarts? You don't hate me? You don't think I am an absolutely horrid person who ought to burn in Hell for hurting Hogwarts' favourite male?"

"No," Allie assured him, "I'm not. And the entirety of Hogwarts does not hate you."

"Everything just feels so wrong, Als," Remus said, looking up at the ceiling to avoid his ex-girlfriend's too sympathetic gaze. "James claims that we're all friends right now, that there aren't sides to take, but I know he's on Sirius' side. Sirius will barely talk to me and when he does it's forced. And Peter has been spending more time than ever with Heather just to avoid us all. I thought things could go back to how they were, to all of us just being friends..."

"People change, Rem," Allie said slowly. "You should know that. Look where we are compared to this time last year. Look at Lily and James! We've all grown up and all of our friendships have changed."

"I got scared," Remus whispered, saying aloud for the first time the thoughts that had plagued him for two weeks. "I'm already going to be annihilated from normal society for my condition. I didn't think I could deal with one more reason to set the world against me. I didn't think it would matter so much to Sirius. I'm not that special."

"Speaking as somebody who has had her heart broken by you," Allie said with a soft smile, "I would have to say that you are quite special. I don't bring this up to guilt trip you. I'm happier with Josh than I've ever been. I say this because you don't realize what a great person you are."

"You sound like James and Sirius," Remus mumbled.

"If three of the top students in our year say so, it must be true," Allie teased.

"I just wish I wasn't gay," Remus sighed. "I wish I could make it go away. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I'm not gay. Maybe it was all just a phase."

"Trust me," Allie said, taking one of Remus hands in her own, "You're at least somewhat gay. You broke up with me having that as a reason. And it's okay. There's nothing wrong with being who you are."

"You don't suppose I could undo that, do you?" Remus asked, a sad smile forming on his lips. "You were a great girlfriend."

"Don't be silly," Allie laughed, shaking her head slightly. "As I've said, I'm way more than taken. Besides, you're in love with Sirius."

"Yeah," Remus said, biting his lower lip and giving a hollow laugh. "I most definitely am."

* * *

James Potter looked in the mirror for what must have been the twenty-fifth time that night. It was twenty minutes before the Halloween feast, but he wasn't planning on going with his friends. He usually enjoyed the Hogwarts feasts, but this time, he wouldn't mind missing it. This time, Lily Evans had agreed to miss it with him.

James Potter looked in the mirror. Looking back at him was a thin but muscular boy wearing a red sweater and a pair of faded blue jeans. Lying on the floor around the boy were seven discarded T-shirts, a Hogwarts school uniform and three crumpled robes in various colors.

James sighed and his reflection sighed back at him; he then attempted to flatten his hair for what must have been the thirtieth time.

"Really, Prongs," Sirius commented from his four poster bed. "I thought you'd realized it was a losing battle nearly seven years ago."

"You are correct, I did," James rolled his eyes and ruffled his hair to its regular messy fashion. "It's just that Moony reckons that Lily finds it irritating when I mess up my hair. He said its gives off an illusion of arrogance and cockiness."

"But, Prongs, you are arrogant and cocky," Peter reminded them. "No offence or anything, mate."

James did a half shrug and smiled.

"Where is that werewolf, anyways? Why isn't he cheering me on as I embark upon the most perilous and terrifying adventure of my life?"

"You know, probably in the library or the common room or the Swiss Alps. Anywhere but in the Marauder dorm; heaven forbid he might actually have to have a conversation with me," Sirius grumbled darkly, glaring at the wall.

There was a tense silence in the room before James awkwardly cleared his throat.

"Well, I think Moony maybe sort of had a point," he attempted at casualness. "Maybe just so long as I don't actually mess it up in her presence… not that it would make a difference at this point, what with how much time we have been spending together lately. I think she might have gotten over it by now."

"You had better go," Sirius sighed. "You know our dearest Lily Evans abhors it when people are late."

James swallowed and nodded, turning away from the mirror to look at his friends. He had been picturing this moment for ages. It was the night when he finally had a chance with the girl he had been dreaming about since he'd hit puberty. His stomach was full of man-eating butterflies and his mind buzzed in anticipation.

Remus and James had hung out for over an hour earlier in the day, so James could deal with the fact that not all of his friends were present at this crucial moment. True, it was a serious issue that Remus and Sirius had broken up and James was disappointed that this moment of pure victory had to be tainted with such disheartening turn of events. But even those disturbing turn of events could not detract from this moment for long.

Peter smiled encouragingly from underneath a pile of sweets. He lifted sticky hands into two big thumbs up signs while Sirius managed a grin.

The latter stood up off his bed to clasp his brother on the shoulder.

"Don't do anything stupid," Sirius suggested. "And good luck, Prongs."

"We're rooting for you!" Peter squeaked as James walked out of the dorm and made his way down the stairs to the crowded Common Room.

His eyes scanned over all the students meeting up for the feast or just generally wasting time before going to the Great Hall, looking for a flash of red hair. His heart hammered against his ribs: what if she had changed her mind? What if she really had wanted to go to the feast? What if-?

And then he saw her.

Her bright green eyes were complimented perfectly by the green blouse she wore, puffing out slightly at the sleeves and pulling tighter around her torso. She wore a brown knit skirt that hung just above her creamy, soft looking knees and James reminded himself to breath.

The two Gryffindors smiled at each other over the heads of some first years. Lily stood awkwardly while James weaved towards her.

"Hello," he greeted her, his mouth dry.

"Hi," she smiled, taking in his appearance.

There was a moment's pause.

"So," James finally said, "shall we be off?"

"Sure."

He held out his arm and, rolling her eyes, Lily took it.

The two strolled out of the busy Common Room and entered the rather quiet corridor. The silence seemed to echo as neither of them seemed to remember how to speak. James' mind was still buzzing and he was mostly focused on getting it to stop long enough so that he could start to conquer the man eating butterflies residing in his stomach.

Lily had felt like skipping just seconds before. She was with James and he looked amazing and… god, why wasn't he saying anything? Then as though she was clubbed in the head with her own common sense, she realized that she could also initiate conversation.

"So!" Lily started. Then she realized that she had nothing on her mind to say, really. There was another stretched silence until James finally vanquished the butterflies and started to speak.

"Yes, so," He said. "How are you tonight?"

"Oh, I'm good, yourself?" Lily responded, her voice sounding remarkably calm.

"I'm doing quite well," James smiled earnestly. "Really, I feel amazing."

"Why's that?" Lily asked, amused.

"Well," James grinned down at her and reaching his hand up to his head, ruffled his hair. "I'm with you."

Lily was surprised to see that when he messed up his hair she now found it much more endearing than annoying. She was equally as surprised to notice the way his words had made her go weak at the knees.

Stubbornly, she kept her legs strong and -partly to cover the wobble- she laced her fingers through his. Once they were holding hands, she realized that that wobble-covering motive was insignificant in comparison to the hand-holding motive.

"So," she said, a few beats later, "where are we going?"

"First stop: the kitchens," James announced. "Just because we're skipping the feast, doesn't mean we have to miss the feast."

"We're eating in the kitchens?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, of course not," James chuckled. "We're going on a picnic."

Lily bit her lip.

"James," she began, "you do realize it's nearly November, and that it's incredibly chilly outside, right?"

"Who said anything about going outside?" James said, evasively. "Now, just contain your enthusiasm for a bit. You wouldn't want to ruin the surprise."

Lily laughed and shook her head. In the past, if she had heard the word 'surprise' come out of James Potter's mouth, she would've run screaming for the hills, but now, she realized how completely she trusted him.

Both Head Students quickly forgot the awkwardness that had started the night as they made their way down to the kitchens. Lily soon wondered why on earth they had been awkward to begin with.

As for James, the butterflies were still present, but were now heavily sedated and had conformed into vegetarianism.

When the two arrived at the kitchens, they were both pink with laughter at all of Lily's ludicrous guesses as to how they were planning on having a picnic while staying safe from the chilly fall air. All her suggestions had made James slightly nervous, making him wonder if maybe they were better than what he had planned. Then he realized that of course Lily didn't actually want to fly all the way to Egypt in one night just for their first date.

Once they had tickled the pear and found their way into the kitchens, they were nearly pushed back the little elves running around setting the long table and preparing to send the food upstairs. James tapped one of the less beleaguered elves, making him jump, his large ears flopping.

"Oh! It is being Master Prongs!" He squeaked in excitement. "And it is Mistress Lily! Lovely, lovely!"

"Hey, there," James nodded while Lily smiled broadly at the short and joyful creature.

"What can Hoolie do for Master James and Miss Lily tonight?"

"Well, is it possible we could have enough of the feast for two people to eat?" James asked. "In a basket, please, would be nice."

Hoolie nodded enthusiastically and ran off to prepare their basket.

James watched as elves started to place pumpkin pies on the table and he was struck with a bit of inspiration.

"Lily," he turned to her. "You're good at potions, right?"

"Um…" Lily started, bewildered. "I guess so…"

"No, you're brilliant at potions," James shook his head at her modesty, making her blush. "So, that means you're good at cooking too, right?"

"Well…" Lily stopped. She was dreadful at cooking. Yes, she was good at potions and great at following directions, but somehow she was just dreadful with baking soda and sugar, and much better dealing with boomslang skin and horned slugs. She was about to say so, when words her mother had said years ago echoed in her head. _The way to a man's heart is through his stomach._

"Well, yes, I'm decent," she blurted without thinking.

James grinned; decent in Lily-speak meant brilliantly fantastic. When Hoolie came back with their basket, James also requested the ingredients and a recipe for pumpkin pie.

Lily noticed this, and could only pray that James was a better cook than she was, or that she wouldn't be expected to bake a pie on which he would judge her potential as a girlfriend.

Pushing that terrifying thought out her head, she followed James out of the kitchen. As she continued to follow him through the corridors and up the stairs, it dawned on her to ask,

"How do the house elves know what your friends call you?"

"You mean, Prongs?" James asked. "I guess we sometimes try to be careful with those nicknames, but it seems most people know them now. Especially the elves, considering we talk to each other so freely with them. I think we may have even introduced ourselves that way when we were stupid and young and carefree."

"You're still stupid and young and carefree!" Lily laughed. James' face darkened.

"Maybe… But it's different now," he sighed. "My cousins… Peter's Dad… This whole thing with You-Know-Who… And now with Remus and Sirius… We might still be young, and very likely stupid, but carefree? That I'm not so sure about."

He cut himself off and a grin was once again back on his face. "But, you don't want to hear about unpleasant Marauder business. I'm sorry."

"No," Lily shook her head adamantly. "You know I want to hear anything you want to say. Besides, I know exactly what you mean. I've changed in the last couple years as well. I mean, just think, this time two years ago, my best friend was Severus Snape. Now he's a Death Eater wannabe and I'm here with you. We've all lost that innocence. Everyone in our year is of age by now."

James nodded. There was a sad, but comfortable silence as they reached the seventh floor.

"We're here!" James announced, all traces of mournfulness evaporating as he presented the corridor. They stood in front of a large tapestry depicting Barnabas the Barmy attempting to teach trolls ballet, and Lily remembered something.

"Oh!" Lily exclaimed. "This is the room where Sirius and Remus told me about Remus', er, condition."

"Ah, yes," James nodded distractedly. He turned to his date and held her shoulders. "Now, don't move."

Lily, slightly put-off by the order but curious enough to not mind, watched as James paced back and forth three times in front of the wall with a look of deep concentration on his face. Suddenly, a door appeared and he told Lily,

"Cover your eyes. No peeking!"

Once Lily assured James that she couldn't see a thing, he opened the door and guided her into the Room of Requirement.

When she opened her eyes, her breath stopped.

The entire room was covered in green: trees grew up from the floor hid the walls, large leafed bushes and foliage covered most of the floor, all except for a soft, moss covered circular stone in the middle of the room. On the stone floor lay a soft red-orange blanket set with gold plates and goblets. Hovering in the air were many brilliant orange candles and even a couple of carved pumpkins, flitting light into the mostly dark room. The ceiling was incredibly high and seemed to mirror that of the Great Hall, except that, despite the cloudy night outside, this sky was scattered with twinkling stars and a large, yellow moon.

"Wow," Lily sighed after a few moments of awed silence. "Wow, James."

"Too much?" he asked nervously, running his hands through his hair.

"No," Lily whispered. "It's… perfect. You're genius."

James tried to stifle his sigh of relief and resisted the urge to pump his fist in the air in victory. Instead, he took her hand and pushed back a patch of underbrush to reveal another room, breaking off of the forest.

This second room was much smaller and contained kitchen appliances, such as a large stove, a sink and plenty of counter space. Lily gulped.

"This is where we make pie, then?" she asked, forcing her voice to sound neutral.

James nodded emphatically and placed the ingredients from the kitchen onto the counter top. He then pulled out the directions and held them out importantly before him.

"Since you're a muggle born, we should do this the muggle way. First, we have to cook this little pumpkin," James explained.

The two looked at each other.

"So," Lily scrunched up her forehead. She considered arguing that being a muggle born didn't mean she knew how to cook in a muggle fashion. "We just put it in the oven?"

"Um…" James looked blankly at the parchment with scrawled direction written on it. "I think we should take out the seeds first."

"We need a knife," Lily noted. Suddenly, a large knife appeared on the counter top, along with a steaming pot. "This room is incredible!"

"It is, isn't it?" James agreed, glad to have impressed Lily Evans. He glanced at the pumpkin and realized he had no idea what to do with it. "Do you want to cut the pumpkin and get the seeds out then?"

"Oh, sure," Lily giggled uncomfortably. After evaluating the knife and the pumpkin, she brandished her wand. "_Septumsempra!"_

With that, the pumpkin split in two. James slowly backed away from the redhead, looking mildly frightened.

"The seeds?" James asked. The two of them looked to the counter top where appeared a large spoon. They looked at each other and back at the pumpkin, then back at the spoon.

"I guess we'll have to scoop them," Lily suggested.

James continued to stare at the bright orange, slimy pumpkins.

"They look slimy," he noted. "And you look really pretty."

"I do?" Lily smiled and looked down.

James had been complimenting her for years but this time, it made her feel like a silly gushing girl. It felt so different and out of character for her, but at the same time, she rather liked it.

"Thank you."

James paused and pulled out his wand as well, and succeeded in vanishing the pumpkin seeds out of the pumpkin.

"I reckon," he smirked. "That this isn't exactly the way muggles do this kind of stuff."

"Well, probably not, no," Lily agreed. "Want to make the crust now? We've got sugar, and butter and flour and ingredients."

James loved the "and ingredients" at the end of Lily's list. He was starting to wonder if maybe she didn't really cook, when she reached into the basket and pulled out the flour. Instead of cutting it open, she swished her wand again, cutting a gash into the side of the bag.

The flour puffed into the air and landed all over Lily's face and hair. She sighed and leaned against the counter to look at James.

"James, I lied," Lily admitted to James, who was currently attempting to not laugh at her pure white appearance.

"What do you mean?" James asked, raising his hand to wipe the flour off of Lily's nose.

"I can't actually bake. At all." Lily answered, noticing how close James was standing to her; loving the way his fingers were gently stroking the flour off of her cheek; feeling his soft puffs of breath that betrayed how amused he was. "I'm pretty much an eggs and cereal chef. My baking experience includes going to the bakery on birthdays."

"Yeah, I had guessed that by now," James answered, stepping forward for brush off the flour that had settled on Lily's green blouse.

"I'm sorry," Lily whispered, not actually caring much about her cooking abilities and much more focused on the playful intensity in James' gaze. He was so close and he smelled so good; like rain and grass and soft leather from Quidditch gear.

Then he breathed in and stepped back, forcedly, as if his body didn't understand the movement. Lily felt a pang of disappointment, but more prominently, she felt light headed.

James raised an eyebrow and looked quizzically at the ingredients.

"Can't we just transfigure the ingredients to form a pie?" He asked. "Because I've never cooked a single thing in my life."

"Nope," Lily laughed, attempting to shake off residue flour. "I know that won't work, because you can't just transfigure potions ingredients into a potion. You should know that; you're the best in our class at Transfiguration."

"Maybe you can and old Sluggy and Minne are just making us work for it," James mock whispered conspiratorially.

Lily just looked at him.

"Okay, fine," James chuckled. "Let's just give up then."

"No!" Lily exclaimed. "We can't just _give up_!"

"Do you want to keep doing this? Because there is no-assembly-required food waiting for us," James pulled the underbrush back again, to reveal the forest clearing they had come from.

"You make a strong argument." Lily looked at the basket longingly and nodded.

"Oh, that was easy," James said, mostly to himself.

"What?" Lily asked, looking at him strangely.

"Well, I've just gotten so used to you disagreeing with everything I say that I am still accustomed to having to argue for several minutes," James answered.

"James Potter," Lily said, putting her hands on her hips and turning to face him completely, "I wouldn't be so hard to convince if you weren't so arrogant about everything!"

"Which wouldn't be nearly as fun if you didn't get so worked up about it!" James laughed.

"I'm not worked up," Lily countered, jutting out her chin as her face flushed furiously.

"Yes, Lily, of course," James shook his head. "You don't have a temper, you're just passionate. Which is a good thing, I might add."

Lily opened her mouth to retort his accusation, but stopped. She wasn't quite sure how to counter a compliment, if James' proclamation could be considered one.

"Right," she said after a moment. "Let's eat. I'm starving."

"Me too," James agreed. "All that baking made me famished. I'm dying to see what the Hogwarts' elves packed us."

"You don't know?" Lily questioned, surprised.

"Omniscient as I may seem, I do like to leave things up to chance on occasion."

Lily laughed and rolled her eyes at the messy-haired boy as she picked up the basket full of food and lead James out of the flour-covered kitchen and back to the red blanket where the goblets and plates sat waiting.

The food, as was the norm for Hogwarts' cuisine, was delicious. The elves seemed to have outdone themselves. In the misleadingly small and light basket they had packed meat pies, buttered acorn squash with brown sugar, roast turkey sandwiches, roasted potatoes, baked apples, frosted pumpkin bars, and a small vat of pumpkin juice. James had provided two bottles of Rosmerta's butterbeer, much to Lily's delight.

Over two hours passed and it was almost curfew before they realized it. The initial awkwardness of the date completely gone, Lily and James hadn't been at a loss for conversation once during their meal or as they lay on the blanket looking up at the enchanted sky. Several constellation recognitions, a spilled glass of pumpkin juice, and many animagus form guesses later, the two finally forced themselves to admit it was time to leave the Room of Requirement.

James pulled Lily to her feet and the two of them walked, hand in hand, into the seventh floor corridor.

"So," James said, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen on them as they walked through the castle to Gryffindor tower.

Lily stopped walking and turned looked up into his hazel eyes.

"So?" she asked.

" I… well, I hope you didn't have a horrible time," James said, returning her gaze.

Lily quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Oh," He said quickly, suddenly nervous. "You didn't, did you? Have a horrible time, I mean?"

"No, James," Lily answered slowly. "I definitely didn't have a horrible time."

"Would you go so far as to say you had a decent time?" James asked. "Or, maybe, did you have a good time?"

"I think I maybe had a good time," Lily smiled.

"Well, I am a good date, if I do say so myself," James laughed, running his hand through his hair and grinning down at her.

"Will your ego ever deflate?"

"Probably not," James answered. "At least, not before your temper cools off."

"I do not have a temper!" Lily argued, crossing her arms defiantly and glaring at him. But she couldn't hold the glare and felt the corners of her mouth twitching into a smile against her will.

"Oh, really?" James teased. "Then what would you call this?"

"A rightful response to a horrible accusation," Lily replied shortly, turning her back to him so he couldn't see the grin that was breaking through her pretend anger.

"You know what I think, Lily?" James asked.

She didn't answer.

"I think that you're not really angry with me. Because, if you were actually angry about that comment, I think that there are a whole slew of names you would have called me."

"You think?" She challenged, still not turning to face him.

"Oh, yes," James said in a low voice. "Not only do I think you're not actually angry with me, but I know it."

He took one step towards her so that his chest was right up against her back.

"Oh, I'm very angry," Lily said quietly, breathing in quickly at the light touch of his shirt against her own. "Absolutely livid."

"No, there are many things that I do to make you livid, Lily Evans, and calling your temper is not one of them."

James slowly placed his hands on her waist. He felt her tense for the shortest moment before relaxing backwards into him. The two of them stood there, James breathing in the scent of Lily's hair, Lily relishing in the feeling of James' arms around her.

"I like this," Lily murmured, grabbing his hands with her own and pulling them more tightly around her.

"I do, too," James whispered into her ear.

"I... I like you, James," Lily said, turning her head and twisting in his arms so that she could look at him.

"I like you, too," James replied, chuckling slightly. "So, I think it works out. It'd be quite the predicament if we were standing here in a deserted corridor after a date if neither of us liked the other. I mean, there'd be awkward silences and excuses and-"

Lily cut him off, twisting around completely and standing on her tip toes to press her lips against his.

James started and blinked in surprise.

"I'm sorry!" Lily exclaimed. "I don't know why I did that. You were just talking and I thought that you should maybe not be talking because... and then the best way to stop you was to... and I'm sorry I-"

This time James cut her off, bringing his lips back to hers. She responded immediately, deepening the kiss. James' hands seemed to be burning through the small of her back and all Lily could do was grab James' shoulders and pull herself closer to him. It was nothing like anything either of them had ever experienced before. The rest of the world was gone and they could've been anywhere. It didn't matter that there was still bits of flour in Lily's hair or that James' sweater was still damp from where Lily had spilled the pumpkin juice. They were Lily Evans and James Potter and it was right.


	29. Disaster Strikes

[A/N: Okay... So I suppose I lied about this coming out super soon. But it was a really difficult chapter to write as was Chapter 30. We're almost done with 30, though. Just a bit more to write and then we have to beta. Anyway, except Chapter 30 in about a week.

Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers! I got more reviews for the last chapter than I've gotten for any other chapter so far, so that made me really happy! So, thank you roughdiamond5, Fun-Sized Kirk, ForeverRose123, too many stars to count, SWAddict1986, crazypotterchick, XDAshleighJadeXD, Jaccalax, paulmcco, RavenclawLupin11, and Sea Serpent for absolutely making my week. Thank you also to everybody who added _Kin and Kisses_ to alerts or favourites.

Disclaimer: We do not own this. We do not make money off of this.]

* * *

**Chapter 29: Disaster Strikes**

_Who's the one to decide that it would be alright__  
__To put the music behind the news tonight__  
__Well mama said__  
__You can't believe everything you hear__  
__The diagetic world is so unclear__  
__So baby close your ears_

_-Jack Johnson; The News_

The first week of November brought cold gusts of wind and a strong storm of gossip. Not only had the school's token homosexual couple fallen apart, changing the dynamics of the most popular group of Gryffindors to attend Hogwarts, but the longest lasting un-couple known to Hogwarts had _finally_ become an item. Nobody could fail to notice the goofy grin that James Potter constantly wore or the blush of delight that crept onto Lily Evan's cheeks every time she looked at James.

These rather abrupt changes had resulted in the merging of the female and male groups of Gryffindor's seventh year class. Before, it had been the "Gryffindor Boys" and the "Gryffindor Girls"; now all eight of them could almost always be found together. More often than not, Heather White, Caleb Hannings, Helen Pettigrew, and Emmeline Vance were with them as well. And, as Heather and Helen usually brought along Kristi and Rachel respectively, the previously two small groups had formed somewhat of a party of fourteen. Needless to say, this greatly amused all the other Hogwarts' students and greatly annoyed the Professors.

"Out! All of you!" Madam Pince exclaimed the following Sunday afternoon as she hurried towards the two tables that the fourteen students had pushed together in the library. "This is supposed to be a place of _quiet_ study, not a place to engage in social gatherings."

"But we _are_ studying!" Heather argued, looking up from the Charms essay she was working on with Emmeline and Kristi.

"But you aren't being _quiet_ by any means," Madam Pince countered.

"We're whispering," Remus pointed out from where he was revising Ancient Runes with Allie, Lily, and Maia.

There was a general murmur of agreement which only seemed to anger the old librarian more.

"Well, when a dozen plus students all whisper together," She continued angrily, "it becomes rather more like a loud buzz. Now, all of you, out!"

"Fine, we'll study elsewhere," James sighed exaggeratedly, taking Lily's hand in his and standing up. "Shall we venture to the Gryffindor Common Room?"

"No," Caleb and Emmeline chorused, as though the suggestion was the most absurd thing ever.

"I'm sure there's an empty classroom somewhere," Kate sighed, as she, Peter, Sirius, and Caleb packed up their Care of Magical Creatures project.

"I don't care where you go, just leave," Madam Pince retorted, her voice reaching a high screech, before she turned and stomped away.

The fourteen students quickly packed up the rest of their books and, exchanging amused glances, filed out of the library.

"I think there's a large enough classroom in the Charms' corridor," Rachel said quietly, turning right.

"Sounds good to me," Allie answered and the group of students followed the younger Gryffindor.

Sirius saw Remus walking slowly at the back of the group and slowed down so they could walk together.

"Alright, Moony?" Sirius asked, noticing the slight limp his friend was trying to hide.

"I'm fine," Remus replied wearily. "Just had a rough night Friday."

"Yeah," Sirius agreed, "it seemed to be harder than usual. Any reason why?"

Remus just shook his head, knowing exactly what had caused the wolf to be so agitated.

"What do you want, Sirius?" Remus asked after a moment, his voice sharper than he meant it to be.

"Somebody's snippy," Sirius teased, trying to ignore the sharp pain Remus' words had caused.

"Sorry," Remus sighed, "I'm just tired and I have a lot of work to do."

"That doesn't give you the right to act like a complete git," Sirius mumbled without thinking. "I mean, it's not like I've been having a party these past couple weeks."

"Just," Remus said, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, "What do you want, Padfoot?"

"I was just wondering what you were doing for Hogsmeade next weekend," Sirius said quietly, running his hand through his hair in a very James-like fashion.

Remus looked at him blankly.

"Because, well, see…" Sirius continued, "I don't have anyone to go with as I don't have a boyfriend anymore and Prongs and Wormtail will be with their birds, Allie is meeting Josh, Kate and Caleb are going together, and I have a suspicion about Maia and Emmeline-"

"Peter isn't going to Hogsmeade," Remus interrupted, "He has a detention with McGonagall for that dung bomb incident last week. Heather is going with Helen."

"Anyway," Sirius continued, "that doesn't change the fact that I have nobody to go with. Who am I supposed to take, Rachel? She's, like, twelve and I think I heard her say something about a boy."

"I can think of plenty of people who would die to go with you, Sirius," Remus countered, ignoring the comment about Rachel (she was 14 years old).

"Well, I want to go with you, not some bloody Ravenclaw Quidditch player," Sirius said adamantly.

"I didn't say anything about Greggor," Remus sighed, "But if he's that close to the front of your mind..."

"The only reason he would be is because _somebody_… never mind. Just, go with me to Hogsmeade. Please?"

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea," Remus answered, slowing to a stop and turning to face the black haired boy.

"Why not?" Sirius demanded. "We could go to Zonko's and Honeyduke's and maybe even the Three Broomsticks like we used to. You know, back when we were friends."

"We've never stopped being friends," Remus said quietly.

"Exactly why you should come to Hogsmeade with me!" Sirius exclaimed, making a huge conscious effort to _not_ exclaim how much he missed his ex-boyfriend.

"Okay, but _only_ as friends," Remus agreed slowly, remembering the last time they had gone together as "just friends" which had resulted in Remus cheating on and breaking up with Allie.

"Friends works," Sirius lied meekly, "Friends is good."

* * *

"Where do you want to go first?" Maia asked the sixth year Hufflepuff girl as they walked casually down the main street of Hogsmeade, arms linked. There was not yet any snow on the ground, but the wind continued to blow in cold gusts and their breath was clearly visible.

"The Shrieking Shack?" Emmeline suggested.

"I don't know," Maia said slowly, "That place is kind of creepy."

"No, really?" Emmeline teased, unlinking their arms and interlacing their fingers. She swung Maia around to face her. "That's kind of the point."

"Why do you like creepy things?" Maia questioned.

"It's not so much that I like creepy things," Emmeline answered, "It's more that I like the situations that creepy things can bring. I know what I want and usually know how to get it. I was almost sorted into Slytherin, you know."

"I thought you were almost sorted into Ravenclaw," Maia quirked her eyebrow, recalling their first conversation by the lake.

"Yeah, that too," Emmeline smirked, "The Sorting Hat had quite the conversation with itself when I sat on the stool. But, I guess, when it comes down to it, I'm a 'Puff."

"The Hat considered Ravenclaw _and_ Slytherin before deciding on Hufflepuff?" Maia asked curiously. "Did the Hat ever consider putting you in Gryf-"

"No," Emmeline cut her off. "I don't look good in red."

"I somehow doubt you look _bad_ in anything," Maia said, more to herself.

Emmeline opened her mouth slightly, as though about to say something, but then closed it, shaking her head and smiling.

"What?" Maia asked.

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it," Emmeline said, ruffling up Maia's short hair.

"My head's not little!" Maia exclaimed, releasing Emmeline's hand and crossing her arms.

"Of course not," Emmeline agreed, her tone serious, "You're a Gryffindor."

With that, Emmeline turned and continued walking down the street.

After a few seconds of looking at the brown-haired girl in mild confusion, comprehension dawned on Maia.

"Hey!" Maia exclaimed, running to catch up with the now laughing Emmeline. "You! You!"

Emmeline shrugged and gave a look which clearly meant "Yeah, I just said that." She lifted her hand up to her lips and blew a kiss at Maia.

Maia sighed heavily, causing Emmeline to break further into fits of giggles.

"So," Emmeline said, once her laughter had subsided slightly, "Did you want to go to the Shrieking Shack?"

"Sure," Maia said, smiling and nodding. "I guess I could handle some creepiness."

"Great, come on!" Emmeline grabbed Maia's hand once again and pulled her down a side street that led to the fabled house.

* * *

There he was, standing on the outskirts of Hogsmeade, his dark blue robes billowing in the wind. When they first made eye contact, Allie felt her breath catch in her throat as he smiled his crooked smile at her. Casting aside any semblance of composure or maturity, she ran the remaining ten meters into his arms.

Josh picked her up and twirled her around. After two turns, he set her down and looked at her. Pushing Allie's slightly wind-mussed hair out of her face Josh leaned down to kiss her.

"I've missed you," Allie said quietly, pulling away and looking into her boyfriend's brown eyes.

"I've missed you, too," Josh said, running his hand through her hair.

"I'm really not okay with this you not being at Hogwarts thing," Allie sighed, leaning into him.

"Just eight more months and you'll be graduated and then we won't have to rely on Hogsmeade weekends," Josh whispered into her ear.

"But I don't want to be done at school, either," Allie sighed. "There's so much more I can learn here."

"There's schooling available after Hogwarts, you know that. The Ministry of Magic offers great post-Hogwarts classes."

"I know," Allie agreed, "But I don't want everything to change."

"You like not seeing me?" Josh teased.

"That's not what I mean Josh, and you know it," Allie giggled. "I wish that you were back in school. Don't you wish you could be taking NEWT classes with me?"

"I wouldn't repeat NEWT year if they paid me," Josh chuckled.

"Aren't you supposed to be a Ravenclaw?" Allie asked, stepping back and placing her small hand in her boyfriend's larger one.

"That doesn't mean I'm crazy," Josh countered, leading Allie down the lane and into the village. "There's nothing wrong with loving to learn but hating the amount of work that comes along with standardized exams. I'm sure you understand this."

"I do," Allie admitted. "There's so much work this year, I don't know how I'll make it."

"One day at a time," Josh told her. "Just make it to the Holidays, first."

"I'm trying," Allie said, "But there's drama with my friends and school is going on, and it is so easy to get stressed out!"

"Then let me fix it," Josh said, stopping and pulling her towards him once again. He lifted her chin gently and placed his lips to hers.

Allie responded eagerly, relishing every moment she got to spend with her boyfriend, talking and kissing. All the students who were going to be in Hogsmeade were already there and the side lane was deserted but for the two teens. For the first time in what had been too long, Allie and Josh were together.

"Did that help?" He asked a few moments later.

"Yes," Allie murmured. "But I'm stressed again, now. You may have to help me again."

"My pleasure," Josh laughed before leaning in once more.

* * *

Remus stumbled into the loo at the Three Broomsticks. He couldn't breathe; he was lightheaded and dizzy. It was too hard spending the day in Hogsmeade with just Sirius. It took every bit of his self control to not grab the other boy's hand or push him against the wall of a shop and snog him until this entire mess between them was forgotten.

But he couldn't. He couldn't be with Sirius in that way, not anymore. It didn't matter that he regretted what he said. It didn't matter that he didn't care anymore what would happen to him if he admitted to himself that he was a gay werewolf. Because he had told Sirius that he didn't want him.

"You can't keep fucking changing your mind," Remus said to himself as he leaned against the wall and tried to force himself to breathe.

The first part of the afternoon had been tolerable, hard but tolerable. They had, as Sirius had suggested, gone to Zonko's and Honeyduke's. Much to Sirius' dismay (and Remus' mild relief), there were no new products at Zonko's so the two boys and simply purchased enough dung bombs and fireworks to top off their current supply. Honeyduke's, however, had come out with a new kind of chocolate (supposedly smoother and creamier than any other). Sirius had tried to convince Remus to let him buy both of them several blocks of it, but Remus had refused and both boys had ended up buying one bar each.

But then they had run into Lily and James who invited them to join them for lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Sirius had agreed eagerly, all but forcing a more reluctant Remus to follow his three friends into the busy pub.

The pub was packed with Hogwarts students seeking refuge from the cold streets. The four of them just barely managed to squeeze into a small booth in a back corner. Somehow, James and Lily had turned out to be the kind of couple that sits next to each other at restaurants, forcing Sirius and Remus to be pressed against each other on the same bench. To make matters worse, James and Lily also turned out to be the kind of couple that were exceedingly _cute_.

Maybe it had just been Remus' current mood, it seemed as though every word out of James' mouth was a profession of undying love and every smile Lily gave was a proclamation of her perpetual happiness. Between thoughts of "how can I get out of here" and "could this possibly get any worse," Remus found himself marvelling at the strange compatibility of his two friends.

All of this combined had left Remus dizzy and on the verge of hyperventilation. He couldn't help thinking about how amazing it would be if things between he and Sirius weren't awkward and "friendly." Before their food had even arrived, Remus couldn't take any more of the almost-touches and not-quite-glances. He had excused himself to the loo, barely making it inside before he lost all appearance of equanimity.

Remus pushed himself away from the wall with a bit too much force, causing himself to stumble over to the sink. In an attempt to calm himself down, he turned on the faucet and splashed cool water on his face.

His face dripping, Remus gripped the sink and leaned forward. A scar-covered face and slightly red, desperate eyes stared back at him from the mirror. Even this dishevelled reflection didn't fully represent how incredibly battered and tired he felt. It was as though every day for the past few weeks had been the day of a full moon; he was restless and felt as if he was about to be ripped apart into thousands of pieces. Every day it was harder for him to maintain control over his words and actions. He didn't know _what_ was happening to him, but Remus felt as though he were quickly falling away from everything he strived to be.

Remus froze as he heard the creak of an opening door. Looking behind himself in the mirror, he saw that the door to the loo had opened the slightest bit, but nobody had come inside.

"Sirius, Sirius," Remus heard Greggor's voice sound from the pub, "not with the prefect anymore?"

"Fuck you," Sirius' voice replied from closer to the door.

"You're welcome to," Greggor replied suggestively.

"Really, bugger off," Sirius growled, "I've told you before, I want _nothing_ to do with you, you bloody git. Now shove off before I hex you."

With that, the door continued to open completely and Sirius stepped inside, looking around. Remus wiped off his wet face on his sleeve and turned to face the handsome boy.

"Hey, Moony," Sirius greeted him, a concerned expression on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Not really, no," Remus replied, knowing that lying would've been pointless. He knew he looked like shit and it pained him that Sirius was seeing him in such a state.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked, stepping closer to the boy who he found so breathtakingly beautiful, even soaking and desperate looking as he was.

"I..." Remus started.

He couldn't explain. He couldn't tell Sirius how wrong he was and how much he hated himself. He couldn't explain that he loved Sirius and that all he could think about was being with him. Doing so would only make things worse; Sirius seemed to be doing fine without him.

"Yes?" Sirius resisted the urge to brush back Remus' damp hair and lean against him. "Do we need to leave?"

"Yes." Remus breathed a breath of relief. "I think maybe I ate something funny."

Sirius looked at Remus in mild confusion. He had specifically noticed that Remus hadn't eaten anything at breakfast or at dinner the previous night. But as dejected as his friend was looking, Sirius decided not to push the matter.

"Alright, I can tell Prongs and Lily if you want to meet me outside."

"Thanks," Remus choked. "You can stay if you want. I mean, it's only noon."

"And be third wheel to that love fest out there?" Sirius joked, attempting to lighten the mood. "No thanks. I'd rather drown in jello. It would probably be less _sweet._"

Remus gave a weak chuckle and nodded.

Sirius stepped forward towards Remus as though to hug him, but seemed to think better of it and backed up quickly.

"So, I'll meet you outside in five minutes, then," Sirius said with a small nod. He turned and left the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Remus closed his eyes at the door shut. It was so hard to get over Sirius when he kept doing things that reminded Remus why he loved the boy in the first place.

* * *

Helen and Heather walked out of Madam Puddifoot's laughing at the confused looks that had been on all the other patron's faces.

"Well, I don't care if it's traditionally a date cafe," Heather said between breaths, "They have the best hot chocolate in Hogsmeade."

"Is there anywhere else to have hot chocolate?" Helen asked.

"Well, I don't know," Heather answered honestly. "But I went on my first ever date here back in fourth year and their hot chocolate was so good that I never wanted any from anywhere else ever again."

"First date with who?" Helen questioned, her eyes wide.

"Well, he wasn't all that exciting. The best part of the date was _definitely_ the hot chocolate. Especially if you compare it to when he tried to kiss me," Heather explained, sending them both into new fits of laughter.

"Now, Helen," Heather started once her laughter had subsided slightly, "Boys have cooties. They are very contagious."

"What about Peter?"

"Oh, well," Heather said slowly, "when you hit fifth year you become immune to cooties."

"You're ridiculous," Helen stated. "You must have cooties then, from the kiss in Madam Pudifoots your fourth year."

"I said _tried_ to kiss me, Helen love," Heather laughed, putting an arm around the younger girl's shoulders.

"A boy has never tried to kiss me before," Helen lamented.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," Heather said as they walked down the cobbled streets, "You have plenty of time. I mean, is there anybody you even like right now?"

"Well, no," Helen admitted, "But it's the principle of the thing! Rachel is on a date right now and I'm not."

"You're my date," Heather corrected her.

"It's not the same!" Helen insisted with a smile. "But, don't worry. I'm not actually concerned. Just, at some point, it would be nice."

"It is nice," Heather smiled. "But enjoy your boy free time as long as you can. Because as amazing as they are, boys can be quite difficult."

"Is Peter difficult?"

"No, not really," Heather admitted.

"Do you think you'll marry him?"

"Helen!" Heather exclaimed, blushing furiously. "How can I have any idea if I'm going to marry him? I'm only sixteen! We've only been going out for a bit over a year!"

"Oh, I know," Helen said smugly, "But I have eyes, you know. And it would be nice. I have always wanted a sister. Big brothers are nice, but they are so over protective."

"I see what you mean," Heather nodded, pulling her cloak tighter against the increasingly vicious wind. "But would you have him any other way?"

"No," Helen shook her head adamantly. "I like him how he is now. Besides, I doubt there is much that could change him."

Heather's heart warmed thinking of Peter. He was such a good person and she loved him so much. She loved his slightly pudgy soft, teddy bear body; she loved his crazy, trouble-making friends; she loved his mother and his sister so much, they were like a second family to her; she loved his blonde hair and blue eyes; she loved how he was modest and sweet. Heather squeezed her boyfriend's little sister closer against her side, her heart bursting with love and satisfaction.

Then the wind blew harder than ever and the two girls looked up to the stormy sky. Squinting, they could make out dark hooded figures swooping down on broomsticks, masks hiding their faces.

* * *

Allie was tucked under Josh's arm as they exited Honeyduke's. Her coat pockets were laden with candy and her face flushed immediately as they came into contact with the bitter November weather.

"Allie," Josh's voice was harsh and clipped.

She looked up at him in confusion. As she moved her head to look at him, however, she caught glimpse of what must have been dozens of dark hooded figures flying above them, masks hiding their faces.

"Josh!" she exclaimed, fear freezing all her limbs. "Josh, we have to go!"

By the time she had gotten the words out of her mouth, Josh had already pulled out his wand and formed an owl Patronus.

"Tell Kingsley to alert the Aurors. Hogsmeade is under attack."

His voice was scared, but strong. He gripped Allie's hand tight, and pulled her into a run, down the street, away from where the Death Eaters were starting to land.

"Run!" somebody screamed. Maybe it had been Josh, but Allie couldn't tell.

Everything was very quickly transforming from perfect and beautiful to terrifying. People were in a panic all around them; women were screaming at children to come and shop owners were locking their doors, forcing those on the streets to fend for themselves. Students, all third year and up, were confusedly running down the streets, not entirely sure what was going on as flashes of different coloured lights began to fill the air.

"Do you think Kingsley will get your Patronus?" Allie shouted as she attempted not to trip on the cobblestones.

"He always does!" Josh explained, breathing heavily. "Sometimes we use them instead of letters or if we need to meet up somewhere quickly. He came up with it as soon as he saw my owl Patronus last year."

Allie nodded, but had little time to process this bit of information as she had to dodge a curse.

* * *

Emmeline barely dodged a curse and gripped Maia's hand tight as four Death Eaters spotted them pushing a handful of third years into the Hogshead. The barkeeper had started pulling students off the street and into his pub the second he'd realized what was going on.

"Get in!" he shouted at Maia and Emmeline, who had pulled out their wands.

"_Stupefy!"_ Maia shouted at one of the Death Eaters, completely ignoring the old man's command.

She and Emmeline had been joking around at the Shrieking Shack when they'd heard screams from the village. They had looked up to see a building on fire on the other side of trees. Immediately, Maia had raced toward the commotion, thinking only of what she could do to help. Emmeline, not about to let Maia run off and fight by herself, had raced after her, straight into the line of fire.

Maia's curse was deflected, but Emmeline sent one a second after, towards the same Death Eater, and it hit its target. The Death Eater fell to the ground. His companions didn't give him a second's glance before firing curse after curse at Maia, Emmeline and the bartender.

A bright yellow stream of light hit Maia, causing her to scream out in pain as her leg caught on fire. Somehow, she managed to ignore the pain long enough to send another stunner at the Death Eaters, this time successfully hitting one.

Emmeline, however, had stopped fighting to shoot water at Maia's leg and put out the flames. She only managed to avoid being hit because the old man had grabbed her with alarming strength and pulled her into the pub.

Maia kept throwing jinxes and anything she could think of at the remaining two Death Eaters.

"You idiot child!" screeched a female Death Eater. "You think you stand a chance against the Dark Lord's own trained fighters?"

Maia had no time to react as both Death Eaters shot curses at her. A shield erupted in front of her and the old bar keeper gripped her arm, pulling her inside.

Once inside, Maia pulled away from the stranger.

"We can't just hide in here and hope they go away!" she cried, tears flowing freely down her face.

"Yes we very well can!" the old man argued. "There are wards up around this place. The strongest kind. We'll be safe here."

"How can you be sure?" Emmeline asked, helping Maia into a chair.

"My brother put them up," the man grumbled, obviously irritated.

"And who would that be?" asked one of the third years who Maia and Emmeline had saved.

"Albus Dumbledore," the man scowled. "Happy?"

The air in the pub became suddenly less tense as its inhabitants realized that they were under the protection of the greatest wizard of the age.

"No," Maia shot back, "I'm not happy. We might be safe, but what about everyone out there? I have friends outside!"

"Calm yourself," the wizard grunted in a not very calming way, "there are Aurors here, along with Order of the Phoenix members."

Emmeline noticed that Maia looked only slightly comforted by this bit of information. She stepped over to her friend and wrapped an arm around her.

"It'll be okay," she said quietly. Although there was no way of proving that statement, it made Maia feel a lot better. Somehow, she could breathe again.

"They'll be okay," Emmeline kissed the top of Maia's head softly.

Maia swallowed dryly, trying to ignore the burning in her leg, and tucked her head against the Hufflepuff's shoulder. Burying her face in Emmeline's yellow and black scarf, she attempted to stem her tears as fear and concern for all her friends consumed her.

* * *

Fear and concern gripped Lily as, suddenly, the front window at the Three Broomsticks shattered.

"Everyone, back away from the windows!" Madam Rosmerta cried over the hysterical chaos that had ensued. Flashes filled the street outside like a twisted light show.

"What's going on?" a fourth year girl asked, her light brown eyes wide in terror.

"We're going to die!" screamed a small red head boy.

"Nobody is going to die!" James said fiercely, turning to the screaming boy.

"I want my Mummy!" he cried.

James looked around, surveying the scene. It didn't appear as though any of the attackers were planning on entering the building, at least not yet.

James reached into his pocket and pulled out a small mirror that Remus had given him a couple years previously.

"Sirius!" he shouted into it.

"James?" Sirius said, his face appearing in the mirror.

"Are you and Remus still near Hogsmeade?" James questioned.

"No, we got back to the castle twenty minutes ago," Sirius answered, confused, "Why?"

"No reason," James replied hastily, not wanting to risk Sirius making any rash decisions, "Just, stay there, okay?"

"Um, sure?" Sirius answered. "What's go-"

"Thanks, I have to go," James said, stuffing the mirror back into his pocket.

After he put the mirror away, James turned and his eyes locked on Lily's who had pulled the crying boy into a hug in an attempt to comfort him.

"We have to do something!" she screamed at James. "We have to get these kids back to Hogwarts!"

"We can't go out there," James yelled back. "It looks like a battle field."

"It _is_ a battle field, James," Lily shouted. "And it will be a battle field in here pretty soon if we don't do something!"

"Right," James said, he fought his way across the room to where Madam Rosmerta stood, wand at the ready, by the door.

"Do you have a plan, Rosie?" He asked in a would-be-casual tone.

"Try to hold up my restaurant's defences until the Aurors take care of this," she replied.

"What are your defences?" James asked warily.

"Well, this is a restaurant, not a Ministry office," Rosmerta said, pursing her lips, "I've got some basic defensive charms on the place, but not much more than that."

"Will they hold?"

"Not if any Death Eater really wants to get in," she admitted.

"Then I'll help," James said firmly, "Just tell me the incantation."

"For keeping up the wards?" Rosmerta asked.

"No, the other ones," James shouted. "Yes the wards!"

"I-" But Madam Rosmerta's words were cut off by a loud pop as two wizard in Auror robes appeared.

"Somebody can just Apparate in here?" one of them questioned angrily as he looked around at the broken glass and screaming children.

"I can't very well cast-"

"Never mind," the same Auror cut her off again. "Moody will help you with the wards while I transport the children back to school and everyone of age Apparates out of this village."

"Children," the Auror said, turning to the group of people clustered in the centre of the room as Moody began waving his wand in complicated motions, "form groups of five and I'll distribute portkeys to take you back to school."

James hurried back across the room to where Lily stood with the two small children.

"We'll each get a group together," Lily told him and he nodded in agreement.

Looking around he spotted Helen's friend Rachel standing next to a light haired boy. He hurried over to her and, pulling two more especially terrified looking students to his side, signalled to the Auror that he needed a portkey.

* * *

"Why are we hiding again?" Kate said to Caleb as the two of them crouched behind a dumpster in an alley off of Main Street.

"Because we don't want to die," Caleb answered. "We can't fight Death Eaters, Katie."

"Don't talk to me like I'm five," Kate grumbled, "And we _could_ help. We are in NEWT Defence."

"All the same," Caleb insisted, "I'd rather not risk it."

Kate sighed and sat down on the cold ground.

"What are you doing?"

"Well, if I can't fight, I may as well be comfortable," Kate mumbled. "I mean, we have a great view of the Aurors. All the lights, it's practically like a firework display."

"You're not taking this seriously," Caleb whispered, "These are Death Eaters. They are trying to kill people."

"And I could be helping them not kill people," Kate insisted. "But you're too much of a coward to let me."

"At least I don't run into things over my head without thinking about it first," Caleb shot back angrily.

"My friends are out there, Caleb! Yours are too!"

"It's okay to be scared every once in a while, Kate."

"You think I'm not scared? You think that? I'm fucking terrified! But at least I'm willing to do something with it instead of just cowering in the corner," Kate hissed. Caleb just glared at her but he didn't say any more, lest they be heard.

Despite her desire to fight, she knew there was only so much she could do against the wizards and witches who had earned the name 'Death Eaters.' Fuming, but also somewhat frozen with fear, she watched the fight unfold a mere twenty meters from in front of her.

Unforgivable curses were flashing violent and green past Ministry members wearing Auror robes and other well trained adults that Kate had to assume had just joined the fight. There were tons of people fighting from each side and she couldn't tell who was winning or losing. What she did know what that people where falling over, their eyes frozen open or fluttering shut and that she had no way of knowing if they were dying or not.

* * *

Heather and Helen were completely surrounded by Death Eaters and Aurors on all sides. Spells were falling like rain and it was all Heather could do to perform _Protego_ every few seconds while holding Helen tightly in her arms.

The older girl was attempting to shield Helen with as much of her body as she could, but Heather was hardly any bigger than Helen herself and could provide very little protection.

Heather knew they couldn't survive much longer this thick in the battle, so she attempted to pull Helen to the side, but it was a futile effort, as bodies cramped the street and running while shielding the younger girl was impossible.

"Help!" She cried to nobody in particular, still holding Helen in her arms. "Please!"

Helen was sobbing, her eyes darting around, watching Aurors and Death Eaters fall to the ground around her.

"Heather," She yelled, over the sounds of war. "You have to let go of me. We have to run away!"

The idea terrified Heather, but she knew she had to go along with it. They were in the worst possible position right now. Quickly, she released Helen and grabbed her hand in a tight death grip. She searched for a way to emerge from the crowd of duelling men and women, but there were no gaps in the crowd. Desperately, she pushed people out of her way, dragging Helen along behind her.

Heather's hand slipped from Helen's grasp as the younger girl tripped and fell.

"Come on!" Heather screamed, turning around to make eye contact with the gasping fourteen year old girl. There was a trickle of blood running down the side of her neck, but she seemed otherwise to be fine.

Helen nodded and scrambled to stand up as a bright flash of green soared through the air.

"Helen!"

* * *

[A/N: So... yeah, a bit of a cliffie! Sorry! Also sorry if this seemed a bit... scattered. I'm not sure how sick all of you are with Hogsmeade, but this chapter really is necessary. Thoughts?]


	30. Going Alone

[A/N: A bit more than a week, aye, but less than two weeks. So, therefore, you should all be at least not ready to kill us. Yet. As always, I want to thank those of you who read Kin and Kisses, those of you who have added it to your favourites or alerts list, and, most of all, to those of you who have reviewed: too many stars to count, RavenclawLupin11, Innocent Magic, Fun-Sized Kirk, Ellen, paulmmco, XDAshleighJadeXD, SWAddict1986, Crazypotterchick, jcry, Samablue38, and Sea Serpent! I can't believe I'm over 200 reviews now! Thank you guys so much!

Disclaimer: Own nothing, making nothing.]

* * *

**Chapter 30: Going Alone**

"_Fly, fly little wing  
Fly beyond imagining  
the softest cloud, the whitest dove  
upon the wind of heaven's love  
past the planet and the stars.  
Leave this lonely world of ours.  
Escape the sorrow and the pain  
and fly again_

_Celine Dion; Fly_

Peter looked at the large pile of papers he still had to sort and file. Although he'd been there for what seemed like hours, the stacks were not getting any shorter. If he hadn't known better, he would have convinced himself that Professor McGonagall had charmed them to regenerate every time he felt he should've made progress.

Peter shook his head in an attempt to clear it. But the only thing that happened was that his slightly too long hair got in his eyes.

'I really need to get a haircut,' he thought to himself. 'I'm starting to look a bit like Remus. At least, in the hair department. Too long. I'll have Heather cut it tonight, I think.'

"Mr. Pettigrew," a familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.

Peter looked up to see Professor McGonagall standing in the doorway, her lips in a tight line, her jaw set firmly, a hard look in her eyes. She looked almost angry. But, no, that wasn't right. Peter couldn't figure out what the expression on her face meant. It was unfamiliar.

"Yes, Professor?"

"I need you to come with me. Professor Dumbledore needs to talk to you."

"What?" Peter asked. He blinked at her. Why would Dumbledore want to talk to him? No, not want; Professor McGonagall had said need. Why…?

"You heard me, Mr. Pettigrew. Gather up your things. I will take you to his office."

"But I didn't do anything," Peter objected. This was unfair. How could he have possibly done anything or pulled any pranks while his friends were in Hogsmeade and he was alone in the Transfiguration Office sorting old files?

"Mr. Pettigrew," she took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she repeated her instructions once more, "Dumbledore would like to talk to you in his office. Right now. Please don't argue."

"Sorry, Professor," Peter mumbled. He grabbed his wand and uniform sweater from where they lay, almost forgotten, on the desk chair. Professor McGonagall nodded and turned to leave, indicating that he should follow. As he did, Peter glanced at the clock on the wall. It was one in the afternoon. His detention should have lasted at least another hour. What was going on?

The two of them walked in silence through the empty corridors. Once or twice, Peter started to ask what was going on, but the old witch seemed to sense his inquisitiveness and silenced him with a small shake of her head before he'd even formed the first word. He wondered why the halls were so empty, so quiet and desolate. Even on Hogsmeade weekends, first and second years could be found wondering about the castle, trying to figure out the school's secrets. But they passed nobody, not even a ghost.

"Raspberry Sherbet," McGonagall said when the two of them had reached the Gargoyle guarding the entrance to the Headmaster's office. It sprang aside quietly, but even the slight noise it caused was deafening compared to the silence of the previous ten minutes.

Peter jumped. His teacher looked at him quickly, but turned away. He thought he saw something in her glance, just then. Something almost like pity. But it was gone before he had time to process it, replaced once again with the odd, hard look he'd noted in the office.

"Sit down, please, Peter," Dumbledore said softly when they entered the circular room.

Peter obeyed. Why had Dumbledore called him Peter? Had that ever happened before? Did Dumbledore ever address students by their first names?

"What's going on? Whatever it is, I didn't do it, I promise," Peter blurted out, unable to stop himself.

"Minerva," Dumbledore said, ignoring Peter's question and nodding to Professor McGonagall. She gave a small nod back and left the room with one last glance at Peter. Delicate silver instruments whirred and spun. Almost loud enough to be white noise, but hardly loud enough to hear. Ghosts of sounds.

"What's going on?" Peter repeated.

Dumbledore peered at Peter for a moment over his half-moon glasses. There was a deep sadness in his eyes overshadowing their normal twinkle.

"There's no good way for me to say this," Dumbledore said slowly after a few moments of silence. "There's no good way for me to tell you, no way for me to offer any comfort, no words that will make any real difference."

"W-what's happened?" Peter said shakily. A cold feeling was spreading through his body. Ice was covering his heart, making it too big, preventing his lungs from working. His entire body tensed as he tried to force himself to breathe.

'In, out, in, out. Come on Peter. Breathe. Nothing has happened. Everything is okay.'

But he knew it wasn't. He knew by the way his hands were tingling with the flow of magic, by the way Dumbledore continued to stare at him, by the way the halls had been so quiet – too quiet – on his way up here.

"There was a Death Eater attack in Hogsmeade today," Dumbledore continued quietly. "They must have known there would be a student outing today. There's no other reason they would've attacked a purely wizarding village. There was a fight. Aurors arrived, and members of the Order of the Phoenix. It didn't last long. Once the Death Eaters realised they were outnumbered, they left. But, I am afraid, it lasted too long."

"Who?" Peter asked.

He could hear the blood pounding in his ears. He could feel his throat contracting, making it harder for him to breathe. He could taste the stale question. Somebody… somebody must have been hurt. Why would Dumbledore be telling him this? Why here? Why now? Thoughts were racing through his head at hyper speed. Whirring, spinning.

White noise.

Was it James? Sirius? Remus? No… if it was any of them, the rest of his friends would be there too. Unless… unless it was all of them. But, no… No… that couldn't be. Was it Heather? Was it his beautiful, sweet, loving, caring girlfriend?

Peter forced himself to take a deep breath before repeating his question.

"Who? Who was hurt?"

"Helen," Dumbledore said, closing his eyes.

Silence.

"Helen?" Peter squeaked. "But, where is she? What was she hit with? She's okay, isn't she?"

Dumbledore didn't say anything. He just opened his blue eyes, now filled with tears, and shook his head slightly.

"Where is Helen?" Peter demanded, his voice raising. "Where is my sister? Where is Helen? I need to talk to Helen."

"Helen," Dumbledore started, but his voice caught in his throat. He took a deep breath and tried again. "Helen was hit with a curse. She was caught in the crossfire. I don't know who hit her. I wasn't there. I didn't see."

"What was she hit with? Will she have to spend time at St Mungo's?"

"No," Dumbledore answered. "No, she will not. She was hit with the killing curse, Peter. She's dead."

"You're lying," Peter said, standing up. "You're lying. You've made a mistake. She can't be d – no, you're wrong."

"I'm afraid I'm not mistaken," Dumbledore said quietly.

"You're lying!" Peter repeated. "This is my sister you're talking about! What kind of trick is this? She can't be… no. She can't. I saw her this morning. She was fine! I SAW HER THIS MORNING!"

"It just takes one moment, less time than a breath, for life to be snatched away, Peter," Dumbledore said softly.

"Where is she? I need to see her."

"I don't know –"

"WHERE IS MY SISTER GOD DAMNIT? WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS HELEN?"

Dumbledore removed his glasses and rested his head in his hand for a moment.

Whirring, breathing, the empty silence of doubt, of remembering.

Dumbledore sat still, a portrait like those behind him, before looking back up at Peter.

"Are you sure?"

"Prove to me that you're not lying," Peter said coldly, "Show me my sister."

Dumbledore nodded to the side of his office. There was a small table with a white cloth over it. Peter looked at the table. How had he not seen this before? How had he not noticed the small, child-shaped figure under the white sheet when he entered the room? Peter walked over and took the sheet in his hand. It was course, like the bedding in the Hospital wing. He pulled it back slowly.

Nothing could have prepared him for this. Nothing, no words, no assurances that it was the truth could've prepared him for the still figure of Helen lying on the table.

She looked as though she were sleeping. Her large eyes were closed, peaceful. Her slightly messy brown hair framed her pale face. The usual rosy tint of her cheeks was gone – but that didn't mean anything. Sometimes, when she was ill or sleeping, the rogue would disappear. Was that a smile on her small, delicate mouth? A smile from a dream? No… there was no expression on her face. There was nothing there.

Nothing but a lone tear drop running down her face.

Peter wiped his eyes and rounded on Dumbledore.

"You said you would keep her safe," he said, barely audibly. "You promised."

Dumbledore didn't respond.

"You bloody promised!" Peter said. And his voice erupted into a shout. "You said that you would do everything in your power. Your power! And you are supposedly the best wizard of our time. She was just a little girl. JUST A LITTLE GIRL! And it was my job to keep her safe. And you promised. You – you – you promised. And now… now she is gone. My baby sister is gone."

Peter fell to his knees in front of Dumbledore. Sobs shook his body, but he didn't care. He didn't care if his masculinity was at stake. What did it matter if he was crying if the world was falling apart? He didn't care that he was swearing at the Headmaster of his school. What did it matter who he yelled at if his life was going to end?

"Please, do something. Please. I need her."

"There's nothing we can do, Peter."

Peter pushed himself to his feet and turned away from Dumbledore, back to the lifeless form of his sister. He grabbed his sister's hand. Too cold. Too stiff.

"Helen… Wake up. Please wake up."

He took her shoulders, and shook her. Softly at first, as he would in the mornings at home, gently waking her. No response.

He shook harder. The sheet fell completely off revealing grass stained jeans, mud on her shirt. Had she fallen trying to run away? And was that blood? A hint of red on the side of head behind her ear that Peter hadn't seen before.

He fell across the body of his baby sister, his light in all this darkness, and he clung to her. Sobs and gasps for breath that he could not share, for a life that only he had.

"Helen… Come back. Please… Oh God. GOD. Helen! No!"

* * *

"Merlin's bloody beard, ow!" Maia swore as she sat in a bed in the Hospital Wing. "This shite bloody stings like a fucking bitch."

"Alright, there, Maia?" Emmeline smirked from where she stood a couple feet away. "I don't think you're quite colourful or loud enough. I reckon they didn't hear you in the dungeons."

"Both of you shush," Madam Pomfrey scolded as she continued to apply a dark blue salve to Maia's leg. "I've ever seen this exact type of burn before and your foul language and sarcastic quips are not helping. This is dark magic, you know."

"Yeah, I figured that one out when the guy casting it had on a mask," Maia grimaced. "This was definitely not a cheering charm."

"I'd have to agree," Emmeline laughed. "Or, if it was supposed to be, something clearly went wrong. You are not very cheery."

"Shut the fuck up, Emmeline," Maia shouted. "We'll shoot some crazy yellow sparks at your leg and see how you like it. "

"Nobody will be shooting anything in here," Madam Pomfrey said quickly. "Now, Miss Vance, I will have to ask you to remain quiet or I will kick you out. Miss Regarne, please refrain from using such vulgar language. Your distress is not helping the wound."

"I apologise for my distress," Maia muttered angrily. "Can you give me anything for pain? Please? This is driving me bonkers."

"I'll see what I can do," Madam Pomfrey sighed. She straightened up and looked Maia in the face. "As I've said, I've never seen this particular wound type before, but I do recognize that it is a cursed burn. The salve I have should help with pain and decrease chances of infection, but I am afraid you will almost certainly have a scar."

"There go my dreams of being a swimsuit model," Maia sighed, rolling her eyes.

"You will have to come back every day for cleaning and re-bandaging," Madam Pomfrey explained, ignoring Maia's lament, "I will do some research into what spells could have caused this and that should help speed up the healing process. Until then it is just important to keep them clean. They are nasty, but not too deep, so you should be able to walk as long as it doesn't hurt too much."

"I'll be fine," Maia grumbled, looking at her leg.

There was an eight inch long charred section of Maia's calf around where the curse had hit her. Even though Madam Pomfrey had been trying to fix it for the better part of an hour, it still didn't look much better than it had when Maia and Emmeline had first arrived.

"If you say so," Madam Pomfrey clucked. "But I want you to drink this potion. It should help with the pain, if nothing else. I'll give you more when you return tomorrow. It should last until then."

Maia looked dubiously at the dark potion the school matron had handed her. It was slightly steaming and smelled absolutely wretched.

"You want me to drink this?" Maia asked, looking warily at the goblet.

"Just drink it, Maia," Emmeline sighed. "Be a brave little Gryffindor. It will only taste bad for a couple of minutes and it will help. Then we can go. I can tell you're bored."

"Fine," Maia consented. Scrunching up her nose she downed the entire goblet in one gulp.

"Can I leave now?" She asked, thrusting the now empty cup back at Madam Pomfrey and grimacing.

"Yes," the older witch answered. "But don't forget to return tomorrow afternoon for more potion and salve."

"I can't wait," Maia grumbled, pushing herself off the hospital bed and heading for the door.

"Does it hurt much?" Emmeline asked as the two of them walked slowly down the corridor towards Gryffindor Tower.

"I'll be fine," Maia answered, echoing her words from before.

"You don't have to be a brave little Gryffindor anymore, you know," Emmeline said, grabbing Maia's hand in her own. "You finished the potion. If it hurts, you can tell me."

"It hurts just a bit," Maia admitted reluctantly. "Only so bad as to seem like somebody is stabbing a knife made from dragon's fire into my leg."

"Oh, well the pain meds should kick in soon," Emmeline assured her. "And as you can't really make a knife out of fire, I think you'll be fine."

"Wait a second," Maia said, "Why are you walking with me? Isn't your Common Room the other way, by the kitchens?"

"It is," Emmeline assured her, "but I just wanted to make sure you got to your tower okay. I know how you can be. You'll act like everything is okay even if you know you're about to keel over dead. I don't understand it, but there's no point pretending you aren't like that. And what kind of 'Puff would I be if I let my Maia keel over dead halfway to her Common Room due to some crazy wound."

"I'm your Maia?" Maia asked, stopping and turning to look at the girl walking next to her.

"Well, I suppose so," Emmeline answered slowly. "It just kind of came out."

"Well then," Maia replied, doing her best imitation of Emmeline's smirk, "then I guess you'll just have to be my Emmeline."

"I think I'm okay with that," Emmeline answered. "Now let's get you back to your Common Room."

Several minutes later – much longer than it normally would've taken – Emmeline and Maia arrived at the portrait of the Fat Lady. Assured that Maia's leg wouldn't give out before she found her friends, Emmeline gave her a quick pat on the head and headed away towards her own Common Room.

When Emmeline turned the corner, Maia smiled to herself and said the password to the Fat Lady before climbing though the portrait hole. As she'd walked hand in hand with Emmeline, she had pushed aside the reality of what had happened just hours previously, but the unnatural silence that hit her as she entered the Common Room brought it all back. A large lump rose in the back of her throat.

"What's wrong?" Maia asked urgently as she hurried over to her friends.

"McGonagall's just been here," Lily said in a quiet voice, tears streaming down her face.

Maia sat down slowly on the floor next to Kate, not knowing what her friends were going to tell her, but sure that she didn't want to find out.

"What's wrong?" she asked again, looking around at all the drawn faces.

"It's Helen," Sirius answered. He didn't say anymore, didn't explain what he meant. He didn't have to. Maia understood.

* * *

Peter entered the Gryffindor Common Room several hours later, in a daze, to find his friends sitting solemnly around the fire.

"Peter," Heather breathed, standing up and running to her boyfriend. "Peter, I'm so sorry." She pulled him into a tight embrace, trying to make sure he was real and there.

He didn't respond, but let her hold him, trying to feel something, anything other than the numbness that had set in as he'd left Dumbledore's office.

"How are you, Wormtail?" Sirius asked quietly.

Peter just shook his head. He broke away from Heather and sat down in an empty chair near his friends.

"How do you guys know?" he asked dully after a moment.

"Professor McGonagall told us," James explained in a soft voice. "She brought Heather back from Dumbledore's office and announced… it… to the tower. Almost all of Gryffindor House was here. All the students in Hogsmeade were portkeyed back to the school as soon as possible."

"Why was Heather with Dumbledore?" Peter asked, more out of something to say than curiosity. He was tired and didn't honestly care about the details but he knew that if he didn't ask, people would ask him questions or, even worse, leave him to his thoughts.

"I was with Helen," Heather said hoarsely, sitting in an armchair across from Peter, "when it happened. I was there."

"You were there?" Peter asked, a mix of emotions in his voice. "You saw it? Are you okay? What happened?"

"I'm… I'll be fine," Heather said slowly, tears coming to her eyes. "After Helen was hit, I stayed with her. I couldn't leave her. I couldn't."

"Of course you couldn't," Lily said. She got up from the couch and walked over to Heather's chair. Sitting down the arm of it, she placed a hand on Heather's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her, "we wouldn't have wanted you to."

"What happened?" Peter repeated.

"I'm not sure," Heather admitted, "I don't know how long I sat there, holding her. But, at some point an Auror, at least I think it was an Auror, told me it was okay, told me that I was safe and that the Death Eaters had fled. Then, then he took me back to the castle. He wanted me to leave Helen, he said somebody would take care of her, take her back to the castle, but I couldn't leave her. So, we both went to Dumbledore's office. Madam Pomfrey was there. She gave me something, but I don't think it did anything, and then I told them what happened. And then Professor McGonagall brought me back here and told everybody and left."

"James told everyone to bugger off," Kate added lamely, "but we waited for you."

"But what happened?" Peter asked again, standing up and turning to face his friends. The feelings that had dulled since he'd seen his sister's body were resurfacing. Anger bubbled up inside of him and he let it. It was easier than the pain.

"Why did this happen?" he continued. Peter turned to Heather, "How could you let this happen."

"We were caught in the middle," Heather tried to explain through the small sobs that were now shaking her chest, "One minute we were laughing and the next minute there were curses flying and people screaming. We tried to run, but Helen tripped. She was hit as she was getting up. God, Peter, I'm so sorry. I wish I could go back in time. It should have been me."

"Don't say that, Heather," Allie gasped. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is," Heather cried. "I was with her. I should have done something. I should have made her go in front of me. I should have been hit, not her!"

"Yeah," Peter agreed quietly, looking at his crying girlfriend, "It should have been you."

"Peter!" Maia and Remus exclaimed together.

"You don't mean that," James said, a horrified expression on his face. He looked at Peter as though he'd never seen the boy before.

"I do," Peter whispered. "I do mean it. She was my everything."

"Not your everything, Wormtail," Sirius disagreed. "Important, yes. Beyond important. But you have us. You have Heather."

"Easy for you to say," Peter snapped, his voice raising. "You hate your brother. You don't have a family."

"That was uncalled-for, Peter," James said, standing up and walking over to his friend.

"It's okay," Sirius defended, "He's griev-"

"No," Peter shot back, "It's not okay. Nothing is okay. My father's dead, my mother's on the verge of a mental breakdown, Death Eaters in training have been following me around for months, and now the only good thing about my family I had left is gone, too. She's dead. My baby sister is dead. Everyone else is fine but Helen is dead."

"No, it's not okay," James said, placing a hand on his friend's shoulder. "But we're here for you. All of us. You don't have to be alone."

"I want to be alone," Peter mumbled.

"That's okay, too," James consented. "Whatever you want, whatever you need, we're here for you."

"And we'll be there for you at the funeral, too," Sirius added.

"No, you won't be," Peter told them. "I've already decided. I'm going alone."

"No," Maia contradicted. "Helen meant a lot to all of us. I, personally, want to be there."

"She was like a little sister to me, too, Peter," Heather said through her tears.

"She _was_ my little sister," Peter answered. "And I don't want you there. I don't want any of you there. I need to do this alone."

"Okay," James sighed, "But if you change your mind…"

"I won't," Peter promised. "I'm going to bed."

And without another word, Peter turned and headed up the stairs to the boys' dormitory.

The remaining Gryffindors watched silently as Peter walked away. None of them quite knew what to say, or even to think. James was pacing from the fire to the couch where Remus and Sirius were sitting, running his hand absent mindedly through his hair and shaking his head. Lily rubbed small circles on Heather's back, still trying to comfort the crying girl while Sirius and Remus both followed James' pacing with their eyes. Allie sat with her arms tightly around herself, her legs curled under her, in an armchair that seemed too big for her small frame.

"This isn't fair," Maia said suddenly from where she sat with Kate on the floor in front of the fire.

Everybody looked at her. James stopped pacing and sat down beside Remus and Sirius.

"It's not like he's the only one who cared about her," Maia continued. "I think she'd want us to be there. I mean, sure, she was his sister, but that doesn't give him a monopoly on grief."

"He's really upset," Allie said. "He doesn't know what he's…"

"We're all upset," Maia insisted. "I know this sounds selfish and I know that we can't possibly understand what Peter is going through. But that doesn't make it easy."

"I understand what you're saying, Maia," Remus sighed. "But, at the same time, we really just have to focus on doing what's right for Peter and on supporting him."

"We can't really support him if he won't let us," Sirius shot back. "He's got some stupid idea that he has to go through this alone."

"He may change his mind," Kate said.

"I don't think he will," James disagreed. "Even if it is just his grief talking, I think he meant what he said. He's not really that difficult to read most of the time."

"You think he meant everything he said?" Heather asked.

Lily stopped rubbing her back and turned so that she was facing her fully.

"It's not your fault," she said firmly. "You did the best that you could. Don't you dare blame yourself."

"Lily's right," Remus agreed. "You were really brave. There are some things you can't blame yourself for, no matter how much easier it may seem to make things."

Heather nodded, but didn't look completely convinced, and the room fell silent once again.

* * *

The next day dawned clear and calm, a stark contrast from the previous day. The bright blue of the Great Hall's enchanted ceiling seemed inappropriate given the circumstances. Had the ceiling been charmed to reflect the mood of the student population, it would have been grey and lifeless.

The House banners had been taken down and in their stead black banners bearing the Hogwarts' crest had been hung. The Head Table had been adorned with a black table cloth. The tables looked bare without their normal cutlery and heaps of food. The only indication that the room was usually a dining area was the presence of heavy golden goblets at each place. All the students stared bleakly at the Head Table as Dumbledore rose, the ever present twinkle gone from his eyes.

"Students, faculty, and staff of Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, his voice quiet but strong and clear, "it is with a heavy heart that I address you today. As many of you know, there was an attack on the village of Hogsmeade yesterday. As many of you may suspect, this was an action of the followers of the man who calls himself Lord Voldemort. He chose to attack the only all wizarding village in Britain on Hogwarts' first trip of the term. I do not believe this to be coincidence. Rather, I believe that the reason he chose to attack this day was because he knew students would be there"

"But I am not standing here before you now to give you a lesson in what I believe Voldemort's motives to have been. I am speaking to honour those who were injured or killed during the attack. In total, twelve lives were lost. Five of these deaths were civilians, innocent witches and wizards who only wanted to go about their daily lives until disaster struck. Please lift your glasses to drink to Hilda Harrington, age twenty-eight; Gregory Wallace, age thirty-six; Marjory Ross, age sixty-two; and Daniel Leahy, age seven."

Dumbledore raised his glass and drank. Professors and students alike mirrored his action. After a moment of silence, he began to speak again.

"However, there is one death that has hit us as a school and a community more strongly than the others. This was the death of Helen Pettigrew, a fourth year Gryffindor. But Miss Pettigrew was more than just a name to us. She was an excellent student, a cherished friend, and a beloved sister. She touched the lives of all who met her; her kindness extended not only to her closest friends, but to all who had the pleasure of interacting with her. She was an exemplary Gryffindor: true, pure, and brave to the last.

"Helen's death was unnecessary and by all normal measures a mistake. She was not fighting but attempting to get to safety when she was caught in the crossfire and hit with a killing curse. The wand which cast the spell remains unidentified and thus the identity of the witch or wizard who murdered her remains unknown.

"The loss of Helen Pettigrew will affect us all regardless of how well you may have known her. It is a turning point which brings the war inside the castle walls. Until now it has been easy to ignore the headlines in the daily news, easy to let the deaths go unnoticed. It has been easy to pretend that Lord Voldemort is not a real threat.

"It is no longer possible to pretend. Fear and dread have now been planted in the hearts of students and villagers alike. You should be afraid, but do not let terror grip your minds and direct your actions. This, I believe, was Lord Voldemort's goal.

"But we are stronger than fear. If we hold onto what is important, if we don't let go of love, friendship, and trust, then we will be victorious. Do not let fear and misdeeds separate you but rather fight brewing hate with extended compassion. The events of yesterday have changed you all, but do not let those changes be for evil. Let Helen be a symbol of what is at stake: innocence, purity, beauty, love, and hope.

"Do not let Helen's death have been in vain. The best way to honour those who have left us is to remember them in life. Live, now, not just for yourselves but for Helen Pettigrew as well."

Dumbledore raised his glass once more. Again, the entire Great Hall followed suit. After a moment of silence the old wizard nodded and returned to his seat.

Sirius looked around the Great Hall as Dumbledore sat down. Everyone remained silent, staring at each other with hollowed eyes and tear-stained cheeks. The younger students were all in shock. They had known Helen. She had been in their classes and clubs. Perhaps they hadn't been friends, but they had known her. And now, they would never see her again.

To Sirius' right, Peter sat, seemingly less present than a ghost. His eyes were empty and dry, his mouth set in a firm line.

Heather was shaking with quiet sobs next to him, her body quivering and her face puffy. Peter did not respond to her in the slightest, did not even spare a glance as her white knuckles gripped his robes, nearly tearing them.

To Sirius' left James was holding Lily's hands as though she was his only lifeline. She squeezed back like if they let go she would just slide right off the earth.

Emmeline and Caleb had left their house tables to sit at the Gryffindor table. Kate's face was buried in Caleb's chest, silent and not moving. Emmeline held Maia's hand and Maia leaned her head against the other girl's shoulder, tears silently dripping on their black robes.

Allie was holding a much younger student, Rachel. Rachel looked older than she should've, her fourteen year old face could've easily passed as seventeen or older despite her thin, not-quite-through-puberty, frame. Even as she looked older, the rest of them looked older still. Nobody in the group looked like a child.

Sirius looked across the table to gaze into amber eyes, light brown hair falling softly in front of them. During the moments of silence in the Great Hall, they continued to stare at each other, not really noticing that they were doing it.

When the other House Tables filed out of the Great Hall, the Gryffindors slowly broke from their trance and, one by one, stood up as well. The seventh years all walked together out of the Great Hall, but Peter, who refused to talk to any of them, was taken by Dumbledore to have a private conversation about transportation to the funeral.

"You used her," Peter accused the Headmaster as the two of them left the Great Hall and entered a smaller side room.

"Excuse me?" Dumbledore said, turning to look at his student directly.

"You made her into a symbol," Peter continued, clenching his hands into tight fists and breathing heavily. He was glaring at Dumbledore but was unable to hold the older wizard's gaze for long; his eyes flickered around the room every couple seconds.

"You took her and turned her into something for your fight," Peter maintained. "She's not your tool, Professor. She is my little sister. You used her!"

"Perhaps I did," Dumbledore admitted, looking directly into Peter's eyes as though he could see straight through them. He sat down in a high-backed chair and gestured for Peter to do the same.

"Why?" Peter asked, dejectedly sitting down in the chair Dumbledore had indicated.

"Because, as much of a waste – a tragic, senseless waste – as her death was, she deserves to be recognized for it," Dumbledore explained. "The reason she died, Peter, is because of this fight against Voldemort. This isn't my fight but the fight of every witch and wizard who has lost a loved one or has been murdered by evil hands. When the battle first appeared around Helen, it became her fight. Perhaps I was using her, but think: wouldn't Helen have wanted to be used if she could no longer assist the fight in life?"

Peter didn't agree completely with what Dumbledore was saying but he could not find a way to argue it. He still thought that his Headmaster had been using his baby sister as means to his own desired end and it filled him with new and unfamiliar loathing that he didn't quite understand.

"However," Dumbledore continued when it became clear that Peter wasn't going to respond, "I think that it is now necessary to discuss arrangements for the funeral."

"My mum's taking care of it," Peter said. "I don't have to do anything. I just need to show up. Can I just floo?"

"Yes," Dumbledore answered. "I'll inform Professor McGonagall that you will depart from her office tomorrow morning at nine. I believe that should give you adequate time. The ceremony is set for noon, is it not?"

"It is, sir," Peter confirmed.

"You will have leave to stay at home the night and return the following afternoon. Is there anybody you would like to accompany you?" Dumbledore asked. "Perhaps Mister Potter, Lupin, or Black? Or Miss White?"

Peter looked away from Dumbledore. Again people seemed to assume that he couldn't be left alone, that he couldn't manage to do anything without one of his smarter or stronger friends. Maybe it would be nice to have one or all of his friends there with him. It certainly would make things easier and any of them would be more than willing.

Peter's stomach tightened and bile rose in his throat. For reasons he couldn't quite explain, even to himself, the thought of having to depend on his friends revolted him. He didn't want them there.

Peter looked back into Dumbledore's blue eyes.

"I'm going alone."

* * *

[A/N: So... there it is. Just so you know, this chapter was incredibly hard to write and the first section has been written for a couple months and gone over many, many times. Thoughts? Are you going to kill us?

Also, we promise more James/Lily and Remus/Sirius in the next chapter. We couldn't fit that in with this chapter without it taking away from Peter.]


	31. Coming Together

[A/N: Hey, there... remember us? There is absolutely no way I could ever apologise enough for the unfair wait we put you through for this chapter. It was ridiculous and uncalled for. And, please, any of you who are still reading, thank you so much. There was life and writer's block and laziness and... well, mostly just excuses. And, again, thanks to all of you who have added Kin and Kisses to your alerts or favourites page. We appreciate it. Knowing that you weren't giving up on us was amazing. Also, thank you Samablue38, Lvia, too many stars to count, Nynayve, paulmcco, jaccalax, XDAshleighJadeXD, crazypotterchick, harrypotterfan8826, roughdiamond5, ravenclawlupin11, Fun-Sized Kirk, Ellen, Beatha, SWAddict1986, and GalaxyDefenderV.1 for taking the time to review! Much love to all of you.

Disclaimer: We don't own. We make no money]

**Chapter 31: Coming Together**

_I run from hate__, __I run from prejudice__  
__I run from pessimists__, __But I run too late__  
__I run my life__or is it running me__  
__Run from my past__  
__I run too fast__or too slow it seems__  
__When lies become the truth__  
__That's when I run to you_

_I Run to You, Lady Antebellum

* * *

_

The seventh year Gryffindors walked in a daze from the Great Hall to their Tower. None of them wanted to face the reality that Helen wouldn't be waiting for them when they returned, her usual sweet smile lighting her face. But, the further they got from the Great Hall, the more Dumbledore's words seemed to reverberate through their minds: "_there is one death that has hit us as a school and a community more strongly than the others. This was the death of Helen Pettigrew..."_

None of them said anything; there was nothing to say. Their grief was too strong for words. Grief for Helen, for Peter, and for the Wizarding World at large.

Caleb and Emmeline had separated from the rest of the group, opting to let the Gryffindor girls who had known Helen so well grieve together. Allie, Lily, and Kate walked with Maia lagging behind the boys, trying to accommodate Maia's injured leg. James, Sirius, and Remus, on the other hand, walked quickly, subconsciously trying to put as much space between themselves and the Great Hall that was so full of fear and loss.

Upon entering the Common Room, James mumbled something about waiting for Lily as Sirius and Remus turned towards the staircase to their dormitory. Sirius nodded in response; he understood his best friend's desire to be alone with a loved one and felt his own heart twist in loneliness as he realized that he and Remus would likely just lie in separate beds once they were in their dorm.

Heaving a sigh, Sirius climbed the stairs in front of Remus. He quickened his pace, the previously subconscious to distance himself, to walk away from everything, now at the forefront of his mind.

It wasn't just Helen's death, though that would have been more than enough on its own. Everything in his life seemed to be crashing down around him. He needed to escape the people who were polluting the air with heavy grief. If he just got to the dormitory, it would all be okay; his family wouldn't be included in the people who attacked Hogsmeade, Helen wouldn't be dead, and Remus would still love him.

Sirius threw open the door and stepped into the empty dormitory, gasping for breath as he tried to force himself to inhale and exhale slowly and steadily. He crossed the room and collapsed onto his bed, burying his face in his hands.

"Sirius," the rough voice was bitter sweetly familiar to him. The sound of footsteps told him that Remus was walking closer to him. "Padfoot, I..."

Sirius looked up at the boy –or... the man?- that he loved. Remus stood five feet from him, wringing his hands together and staring at the floor.

"Yeah, Moony?" Sirius asked, exhausted. "What?"

"I've... are you okay?" Remus asked.

"What kind of question is that?" Sirius retorted. "My best friend's sister is dead, _dead_ Moony. My family supports the people who did it. _I'm_ one of the people who did it."

"No, you're not," Remus said slowly, not moving from his spot, but lifting his head and staring directly into Sirius' grey eyes.

"It's my family," Sirius insisted.

"We've been over this, Sirius," Remus countered. "You can't blame yourself for what your so-called family does. James would beat you to a pulp if he knew you were thinking that."

"And then he'd say that the Blacks aren't my family, you guys are," Sirius mumbled. "I know. I get it. But it doesn't change anything."

"It changes everything," Remus whispered.

"Some family we are," Sirius snorted. "Some sort of broken and dysfunctional family. Sometimes I think-"

"I've missed you," Remus interrupted, his speech suddenly fast. His mouth was open to say more, but nothing was coming out. Sirius barked a humourless laugh.

"I see you every day, Moony."

Sirius looked away from Remus and lay down on his bed. Part of Sirius hoped, even dared to wish, that Remus meant it the way Sirius felt it. But the other part of him – the much more adamant part – knew Remus probably just wanted to spend more time as friends.

"That's not what I meant," Remus countered, sitting down on the bed by Sirius' legs.

"Then what did you mean?" Sirius asked angrily. "That you wish I was a better friend? Look, I'm trying. I'm always the one who tries. I'm always the one coming to you. And all for what? It's not like I'm even slightly content just being friends."

Sirius swallowed, realising the implications of what he had just said. After the initial embarrassment of being too honest, he felt suddenly self-righteous. So what if Remus knew he couldn't stand it? So what if he sounded pathetic? He was really beyond caring by this point.

"If you miss me, then it's your own bloody fault," Sirius finished, his voice stronger than ever.

Remus didn't respond; he had no idea what to say. Sirius was right, and he knew it. It was his own fault; his own insecurities and fears had caused this horrible rift. Remus swallowed and bit his lip. There was a chance that Sirius still wanted him, or so it seemed. Either that, or he no longer wanted anything to do with him.

A minute passed and Remus still didn't know what to say. So, instead of talking he leaned down across Sirius' body and pressed their lips gently together. There was a moment during which nothing happened and Remus feared he would be rejected. But, then, Sirius responded enthusiastically, parting his lips. Remus sighed, relishing the taste that he had been deprived for weeks. Their lips fit together perfectly, creating warmth and electricity.

Rmeus turned his body so that he was lying on top of Sirius, their chests moving in the same breath. He let his hands wander; one caressing Sirius' cheek, the other gripping the waist of Sirius' trousers.

Remus tasted like chocolate and Sirius' brain was melting from the sweetness. This was the moment that Sirius had been dreaming about every night for weeks and it felt like just another beautifully unattainable dream. Only, he wasn't dreaming; this was real and so much better than any dream.

He wasn't dreaming.

"Moony," he panted, pushing the other boy away. "Get off me."

Remus jumped back immediately, eyes wide and brow slightly furrowed.

"What?" he asked. "I thought you wanted..."

"Trust me, I want," Sirius growled. "But you're being a right prick. You can't just say you don't love me and then just take advantage of my feelings and, yes, I realise I sound like a bleeding female, but for Merlin's sake Remus... You can't play these games with me."

"I'm so sorry, Padfoot. I don't mean to play games," Remus sighed. He looked at the bit of wall right above Sirius shoulder and took a deep breath. "I'm not taking advantage of you, though. I'm coming to my senses."

"You know, Moony, you were supposed to be the practical one. Then you go and get all stupid," Sirius leaned his head back against the head board. "I understand you're confused or some shit, but so am I. It's a fucked up world and you left me when I needed you."

"Sirius," Remus whispered, his throat dry. "Please forgive me. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Yeah, well," Sirius closed his eyes and tried to slow his breathing while Remus stared helplessly wondering how he could fix his mistake.

For so long, Remus had been quieting himself: holding back from kissing Sirius in Hogsmeade, denying loving him, and doing everything he could to change who he was and how he felt. It wasn't working. The truth was bubbling inside him and now that everything was falling apart, he couldn't stay quiet.

"I love you. I thought I could stop if I said it enough times, but I couldn't. I can't not love you," Remus let the words spill out. As the words came, he crawled up the bed to sit against the head board of the bed with Sirius.

"Seeing Helen fine at breakfast yesterday morning, seeing her alive and laughing and alive just hours before she was killed... It was like something hit me; it made me realize that we don't have the time to not be together."

Sirius opened his eyes as his lover spoke. Remus wasn't one for long speeches or emotional confessions, but here he was, bearing his soul and Sirius couldn't keep his eyes closed for that. He turned to face the passionately speaking werewolf and leaned closer, feeling the breath from the words warm his face.

"I don't have time to be in denial. It took me long enough to admit that we should be together the first time. I don't want to waste more time. I want to spend as much time with you as possible," Remus continued, the words coming fast. He knew Sirius was about to kiss him and he had to finish talking first. He needed Sirius to hear this.

"Then stop talking," Sirius grinned. "I've forgiven you and you're wasting time again."

With that, Remus reached up to twist his hand in Sirius's shaggy yet elegant black hair. Sirius gripped the other boy's robes and their lips smashed together again. This time, there was no hesitation and nothing could've pulled the boys apart as they melded together. They clung to each other as the world seemed to fall apart all around them.

Everything seemed wrong: Helen was dead, Peter was shutting them out, the world was overcast with Voldemort, and Remus was indeed a gay werewolf. But they were Remus Lupin and Sirius Black and it was right.

* * *

In the week following the attack on Hogsmeade, wandering aimlessly through the castle had turned into a favourite pastime for Maia and Emmeline. They were much too noisy when they were together to hang out in the library and neither of them wanted to feel obligated to study. Emmeline wasn't strictly allowed in the Gryffindor common room, nor was Maia allowed in the Hufflepuff one.

But, more than just that, wandering had an even more important advantage than simple convenience: they could be alone. With their separate groups of friends as well as everything that was going on outside of Hogwarts, being around other students had the tendency to be just as stressful as it was fun. And, so, it was a beautiful thing for them to escape every once in a while and enjoy time as just the two of them.

Their fingers laced together, they walked further and further from the Great Hall and the clamour that the reunion of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin had caused. The constant hum of gloriously pointless gossip and insipid conversation had carried them all the way up to the narrow, slowly winding stairwell of the astronomy tower.

"Emms, is it alright if we sit for a sec?" Maia sighed, flopping down onto the stone stairs. She bent up her leg and pulled her robes to reveal the ugly scar on her calf. Wincing, she glared down at it, almost as though looking at it hard enough would make it disappear.

"Mmhmm," Emmeline lowered herself gracefully to sit a few steps higher than her friend. "Does it hurt?"

Maia gave a noncommittal half shrug and hid her leg, suddenly embarrassed.

"Why do you think Sirius and Remus finally got over themselves and got back together?" Maia asked.

Emmeline noted the change of topic but decided not to press. Instead she pushed aside her concern and gave a very Maia-like half shrug.

"I'd reckon they realised how much they missed each other. Helen's death... well, it probably knocked some sense into both of them. Tragedy can have an odd habit of bringing people together just as much as it can tear them apart. You need somebody to be close to, you know? And if there's somebody like that, you just want to be with them and hold them. You want to make sure they are still real and safe." Emmeline's fingers stroked Maia's short, messy hair, entranced by the streaks of brown, red, blonde, and everything in between. In the bright morning light, it seemed to consist of every colour imaginable.

"Well, yeah," Maia felt like blushing and thanked the heavens that her body was incapable of it. She didn't even know why she felt like blushing. It wasn't as if she was embarrassed or anything. In fact, she enjoyed the feeling of Emmeline's fingers twisting her hair into funny shapes. With a smile, Maia leaned back so that her back was pressed against her friend's legs.

For some reason, she found herself changing the topic yet again.

"Do you think the Order of the Phoenix is real?" This question had been bothering her ever since Aberforth's comment in the Hogshead.

"I've found, that most things that aren't supposed to be real actually are," Emmeline chuckled. "Think about it. Muggles don't even think witches and wizards exist."

"Emms," Maia countered playfully. "Muggles also think that the nonexistent witches are green and melt when encountered with water. Those kinds of witches aren't supposed to be real and guess what? They aren't real."

"Point," Emmeline smirked. "But on the other hand, wizards are supposed to be tall with long white beards and ridiculous hats. And I'm fairly certain Dumbledore is real even if wizards aren't supposed to be."

"Okay," Maia giggled. "But where does that leave the Order of the Phoenix?"

"Hmm…" Emmeline pretended to think very hard. "I would have to conclude that the Order of the Phoenix is real, but everyone in it is green and likes setting scarecrows on fire... not to mention a strange aversion to English weather."

"You mean, like, rain? Because they melt? I think you've lost me there, Emms," Maia turned to look up at Emmeline, who was still playing with her hair.

"Don't worry about it," Emmeline pushed a bit of hair out of Maia's eyes. "Not everyone can follow the extreme logic and wit that is me."

"I like it," Maia thought out loud.

Emmeline smiled, tilting her head in question.

"What do you like?" She asked, a warm feeling growing in her stomach.

Maia paused for a few seconds to summon her Gryffindor courage and knelt up so that her face was level with Emmeline's.

"You." Maia leaned closer, her brain fuzzy.

"Me?" Emmeline asked quietly.

Maia was mere centimetres away and she could feel the other girl's breath on her face.

"I like you."

And with that, Maia closed the space that was between them and pressed her lips softly against the other girl's lips. Emmeline was surprised by how unsurprised she was and responded cautiously yet enthusiastically to the kiss.

It was quiet in the stairwell except for the soft sighs of two pleasantly unsurprised girls.

* * *

Lily looked over at her boyfriend as they walked down a second floor corridor on their patrol. James had been unusually quiet the entire patrol and Lily knew that he was still upset over the events of the previous couple days. As much as he _didn't_ say it, Lily knew that Peter's refusal to allow him, Sirius, and Remus to accompany him to Helen's funeral had hurt James. As Sirius had said at the beginning of the year and as she'd come to see, James was a fiercely loyal friend and would do anything for his friends. The reality that he couldn't help Peter – that he wasn't allowed to be there for him on that awful day – was a blow.

"James?" Lily said softly as they turned a corner.

"Yeah, Lils?" He asked, checking a broom cupboard.

"How's Peter holding up?"

"Not great," James answered slowly. "He's really quiet and never wants to do anything... He says he's fine, but I don't believe him. None of us do, really. But we don't know what to do."

"Have you tried talking to him?" Lily suggested.

"He doesn't want to talk. And even if he did, what would I say? 'I'm sorry'? There's nothing I can say. There aren't any magic words that will make it better for him. Especially if he keeps insisting that he's fine," James explained. He leaned against the wall and pressed his hand against his forehead as though trying by mere physical force to push the worries out of his mind.

"When was the last time you guys did something fun?" Lily asked.

"I don't know," James replied. "I honestly can't remember. The full moon was a couple weeks ago, but that's not really fun for Remus."

"Maybe you guys could do something," Lily suggested slowly. "You know, something slightly risky and not exactly within the rules."

"You mean something that you wouldn't approve of?" James asked, lowering his hand from his face and turning to look at Lily.

"I suppose you could put it that way," Lily answered with a nod.

"And you'd be... I'd be... I'm allowed to do that?" James asked, squinting at Lily as though he didn't quite recognize the girl in front of him.

"I don't _own_ you, James Potter," Lily retorted, crossing her arms and fixing him with a glare. "I may not love it when you play dirty pranks or when you flaunt your rule-breaking like a trophy, but sneaking to Hogsmeade, exploring the castle after hours; that's what you _do_. It's part of who you are and I like you for being James. And part of James is breaking rules and doing anything he can to help a friend."

"You mean that, Lily?" James asked, standing up and taking a step closer to her.

"I want you to be you, in all ways," Lily whispered. "The real you, not the arrogant show off facade or the perfect Head Boy. If I wanted either of those I'd date Sirius Black or Frank Longbottom."

"You, Lily Evans," James started, closing the distance between them and pulling her into a tight embrace, "are my favourite girl in the world."

"I'm quite fond of you as well," Lily said, smiling into his chest as she returned the hug.

"I still can't believe it sometimes," James murmured into Lily's hair as he held her against himself. "I spent so long chasing you, trying everything I could think of to get you to look on me with anything other than disgust. And now I have you, and you say things like that and I'm sure that this is just some dream, that I'll wake up and you'll be threatening to hex of my bits or send me to St. Mungo's."

"I can't believe it either," Lily agreed. "If anybody had told me I'd have fallen for you a year ago, I would have told them they _belonged_ in St. Mungo's. But, now, if this is some dream of yours, I don't want you to wake up."

"As far as I'm concerned, you don't have to worry about that," James chuckled.

"James, I..." Lily started, but she was cut off by curt cough from a couple feet away. James and Lily jumped apart and turned to face Professor McGonagall clad in her trademark tartan dressing gown and sporting a less-than-pleased expression.

"Professor, I'm sorry. We weren't-" Lily tried to explain, but she was cut off again.

"You weren't doing your Head duties?" Professor McGonagall asked sternly, eyebrows raised above her horn-rimmed glasses.

"We were, Professor," James answered, putting on the most serious face he could muster. "And we're almost done with our patrol; we were just heading back to the prefects' lounge to write up our reports. But, I've just been so worried about Pete lately that I kept getting distracted and Lily finally said something and she was just comforting me. You know, Professor, trying to help."

Lily stood, nodding her agreement as she marvelled at James' ability to intertwine small falsities into the truth in such a convincing manner. Not that she would ever condone lying to a professor, especially not their Head of House and Deputy Headmistress, but she also didn't want to get in trouble without just cause.

Minerva McGonagall looked at James and Lily, her lips in a firm line and her jaw set. After several minutes of uncomfortable silence in which the older witch perused her two students, her expression softened and she nodded.

"I understand," she said in an uncharacteristically soft voice. "This has been hard for all of you, I'm sure. Merlin knows, it will only get harder, I fear."

"Yes, thank you, Professor," Lily said, slightly unnerved by the out of character air of her transfiguration professor.

"We will just be going to complete our patrol, then," James chimed in. "Thank you, Professor."

"Take care," she replied, nodding at them once again, but this time with her usual curtness. "And I do expect top work from both of you on the Transfiguration essay I set you last week. I trust you haven't forgotten about it."

And, with that, she turned on her heel and walked down the hallway away from Lily and James.

"That was close," James sighed as he and Lily started to walk in the opposite direction to finish their patrol before heading to the prefects' lounge to do the report.

"Strange, too," Lily mused. "I didn't expect her to let us off like that, even though we weren't doing anything against the rules."

"It's her soft spot for me," James said, a smile flicking across his lips. "She can't help but love me. I am her star Transfiguration pupil, after all."

"And I suppose that soft spot is what lost you all those points over the years?" Lily asked, rolling her eyes and causing James to laugh.

"It's all an act," James insisted. "She really does like me."

"That I don't doubt," Lily agreed. "Somehow, despite your arrogance, people manage to see past that huge head of yours and see you for who you are."

"You know you find it charming," James replied, taking Lily's hand in his.

"Something like that," Lily laughed. But then her expression darkened as she thought back to the conversation she'd been having with James and the professor's comment.

"James?" she asked quietly, stopping and turning him so that he was facing her.

"Lily?" He answered, looking at her with slight concern.

"Do you think it's true, what Professor McGonagall said? That things will only get harder? Everything – every_one _– is changing so fast. It's hardly been more than a week since Hogsmeade, James. And so many people seem to have gotten past it, but I still keep forgetting. I still expect to see Helen sitting in the Common Room or eating in the Great Hall. I keep forgetting she's gone... and it seems like everybody else has forgotten she lived. Everybody except Heather, who is a mess, and Peter, who isn't talking to anybody, not even you.

"We're going to leave here and go into the real world – the world so full of hate and death – in just a few months. And we aren't ready. People we love and care about are dying and nothing is how it should be. Can things get any harder?"

"Yes," James said, taking Lily's other hand with his free one and looking into her eyes. "Yes, they can get harder. And I think they will. People are going to keep dying. Bad things are going to continue to happen to people we love. And everything is going to change."

"And how are we supposed to make it, then, James?" Lily asked, looking at him with eyes full of tears. "How are we supposed to keep going?"

"We don't have a choice," James answered. "We keep fighting because we have to, because there is still good in the world. It's like Dumbledore said: we have to be stronger than the fear that Voldemort wants to plant in us."

"But I am afraid," Lily admitted, tears now making their way down her cheeks. "I don't want to be. I'm a Gryffindor. I'm supposed to be brave. But I'm not, James. The Death Eaters, Voldemort... they are going after people like me: muggleborns. And I'm not just afraid for after Hogwarts. The hate is here, too. I've seen the way that some of the Slytherins look at me: like I'm disgusting, like they'd like nothing better than to hurt me."

"Nobody is going to hurt you, Lily," James said, pulling her closer so that there were mere inches between them and brushing the tears off her cheeks. "I won't let anybody touch you. And if they do, if I'm not there to stop it... Well, I pity the witch or wizard that attempts to take you in a fight."

"Thank you, James," Lily said, "I didn't mean to get all upset and start crying... I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," James replied. "I'm afraid, too. And we should be. But we have each other, and our friends. And that's more powerful than anything else."

"Well, as long as I have James Potter, I have nothing to fear," Lily joked weakly as she took a deep breath and began walking, once more, down the corridor.

"Nothing to fear but my undying charm, incredible intellect, and dashing good looks," James joked back as he hurried to catch up with her. "And, of course, my ever inflating ego."

They completed the rest of their patrol without any trouble, filling the time with light banter and jests. There were no more interruptions or unexpected night time wanderers. And, if Lily and James sneaked in a one or two illicit kisses as they strode hand in hand, nobody was any the wiser.

* * *

"We're going out," James announced the next night as he walked into his dormitory.

"We are?" Remus asked, looking up at James in mild confusion from where he sat reading on Sirius' bed. "What's the occasion?"

"Since when do Marauders need an occasion to go out?" James asked, striding over to Remus and yanking the book out of his hands. "The occasion is that we're young and carefree and it's a Friday night."

"Are you allowed to sneak out, now?" Sirius asked, mock concern lacing his voice. "I mean, you are Head Boy and boyfriend to one Lily Evans, Head Girl extrodinaire."

"Lily doesn't own me, Padfoot," James countered, glaring at his best friend's "concerned" face.

Sirius coughed slightly, but didn't let his expression slip.

"Okay, fine," James snapped. "She gave me permission. But I didn't need it. We – Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs – are doing something we haven't done in far too long. We are going to take my cloak, take that blasted map we slaved away on, go to Hogsmeade, and get pissed drunk."

"Well, there's my Prongies boy," Sirius exclaimed, falling out of his feigned concern as a smile broke across his face. "I'm all for it. C'mon, Moony, Wormtail. Marauders gone mad, eh?"

"I don't know," Peter deliberated from where he lay on his own bed, staring at the wall. "I'm kind of tired."

"Are you sure-?" Remus asked, looking at James dubiously.

"Yes, I am," James said, glancing at the forlorn figure of Peter and then back at Remus pointedly.

"Ah, yes," Remus said, nodding that he understood James' meaning. "We are only young and stupid once."

"Speak for yourself, Moony," Sirius demanded as he rummaged through James' trunk for the invisibility cloak and map. "I'll be young and stupid until I'm old and dead."

"This I do not doubt," Remus laughed.

"You coming, Wormtail?" James asked, turning to look at the shorter boy. Sometime during Remus and Sirius' exchange, he'd sat up and faced his friends.

"Of course he's coming!" Sirius answered for his friend, emerging from his search. He strode over to Peter's bed, the map and cloak in one hand, and pulled Peter to a standing position. "It's been far too long since we've had a bit too much to drink."

Several minutes later, the four boys were strolling casually down the corridors to the statue of the hump-backed witch. It was still well before curfew, so there was no need for stealth. James walked with Peter, lagging slightly behind Remus and Sirius. The leading two were holding hands and talking casually, almost as though they'd never been apart.

If James were completely honest with himself, he'd admit that he didn't love that Sirius and Remus were dating. The selfish part of him was jealous that Remus held part of Sirius that James could never have. Not that he _wanted _Sirius that way, but it was the principle of the matter: his best friend was no longer his. For almost six years it had been James and Sirius, Padfoot and Prongs, the dynamic duo of the Marauders. And even though it'd been over a year since Remus and Sirius had been together, James still wasn't used to it.

Of course, he'd never voiced these feelings, never spoken aloud the concern that he would be – was being – replaced. Not only would his jealousy come across as extraordinarily girly, but he knew it wasn't justified. It was obvious, even to James, how happy his best friends were together. The month or so that Remus and Sirius had been apart had been awful. Not only were both his friends upset, but the entire dynamic of the Marauders had changed, forced even. The inexplicable balance that made the foursome so uniquely them had been off.

Besides, it wasn't as though James was completely guiltless himself. In the weeks that he'd been dating Lily, in fact, James had come to understand how much of a difference there was between girlfriend and best friend; he figured it held the same regardless of one's sexual preferences. What Sirius had in Remus, James had come to have in Lily: the sense of completeness and safety.

"We're here," Peter said, pulling James out of his musings and back to the deserted corridor with a not-so-gentle swat across the head, "Come back to us from wherever you are."

"He's in Lily Land," Sirius said with a knowing grin.

"Sod off, Black," James shot back, but he returned the grin as he pulled the map out of his pocket and muttered the incantation to bring it to life. "The coast is clear. Let's go."

While James kept watch on the map, the four boys went through the entrance and into the secret corridor. Twenty minutes later, they emerged through the trapdoor in the basement of Honeyduke's.

"Is anybody up there?" Remus asked, looking up at the ceiling nervously.

"It's after eight," James replied, looking at his watch. "The shop closed a bit ago; the clerks should've gone home by now."

"I'll check," Peter sighed and, before his friends could agree or disagree, Peter transformed and scurried, in rat form, up the stairs. A few minutes later he returned. Transforming back into his human self, he nodded. "It's clear. Let's go."

"Should we get something here?" Remus asked, looking longingly at the blocks of Honeyduke's extra creamy chocolate.

"Why buy chocolates when we can get chocolate cakes anytime from the kitchens?" James asked.

"Because this is _Honeyduke's_ chocolate," Remus answered. "And, look: they have a new kind."

"That's very nice, Remus," James said, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sure Lily would appreciate it if you brought her some chocolate," Remus pointed out in a moment of uncharacteristic manipulation.

"Oh..." James said, furrowing his eyebrows and seeming to seriously consider Remus' words.

"You two are pathetic," Sirius sighed as he grabbed James by the shoulder and Remus by the hand and turned them both to face him. "We aren't here to buy chocolate. We're here because we're on our way to the Three Broomsticks to get pissed off our arses and stagger back to the castle just barely sober enough to not get caught and condemned."

"Fine, fine," Remus conceded, "We can get chocolate some other time."

"If Honeyduke's gets blown up before you try that new chocolate," Sirius said, pulling Remus and James towards the shop door, "I will dig through the rubble to find some for you, okay?"

"You're insane," Remus said.

"You love it," Sirius said, a wicked smile on his face.

Remus neither affirmed or denied the accusation, but just shrugged and looked helplessly at James who didn't even bother to hide his laugh.

The street was empty as the four friends made their way from the sweets shop to their favourite pub. They pulled their school robes tight around them as a particularly strong gust of wind blew fresh snow at them. It was exceptionally cold for a November night, but Remus had reasoned that possession of cloaks and scarves would be more than slightly suspicious if, for some reason, they were caught on their return trip.

'_Finally_,' Peter thought as, none too soon, they reached the front of the Three Broomsticks. The pub glowed bright against the darkness that had enveloped the rest of the street and just looking at the cheery yellow light from the oil lamps within made him feel a bit warmer.

There weren't many patrons inside – a sad result of the recent attack – but those who were there looked happy and at ease. James felt strange as they entered the bar: had he been here when Helen died? He remembered the breaking glass and the crying children; it stained the place and made his adrenaline rush in memory. It was surreal, that people could be laughing and drinking in the same place where not long ago they were fearful of their lives.

"Let's go in," Peter said, suddenly extremely anxious to drink and forget. The light from the illuminated windows only warmed the surface, the outermost layer of cold. Peter wanted something that would warm his heart.

"I couldn't agree more," Sirius laughed, pulling open the door and leading his friends into the warmth. James summoned his strength to walk into the usually cheerful place. Once he was inside, he decided that he wouldn't let the war ruin this place for him. One bad memory –however intense- should not be able to cancel out countless memories of joy and friendship. The surrealism melted away as he realized the cheer wasn't out of place, but the fear had been. The Three Broomsticks was warm and good and no evil could tarnish that.

"Well, if it isn't you four," Madam Rosmerta greeted them with a smile moments after they'd sat down at their usual table in the North-East corner of the room. "I was wondering when I'd see you lot again. It's been a while since you have been here at night."

"Miss us?" James asked, flashing her his best cocky smile.

"Always," she replied with a laugh. "What can I get you boys? Four butterbeers?"

"That'd be great," Remus answered.

"Actually," Sirius corrected, "How about you bring us a pitcher of butterbeer and some shots of firewhiskey?"

"Now, Black, you know my policy on serving harder liquor to students," the barkeeper reprimanded.

"We're of age," Peter pointed out. "We're legally allowed to drink it."

"Besides, Rosie," Sirius added. "It's not like we aren't already breaking rules being here."

"Oh fine," Madam Rosmerta said, throwing her hands in the air in mock exasperation. "You win. But, here's the deal: when I decide you've had enough, you get no more and you're going back to the castle. No fighting me on it."

"Would we ever fight you on something like that?" James asked, a trademark would-be innocent expression on his face.

"Merlin help me if I should lose all semblance of sanity from you four," Rosmerta muttered to herself as she shook her head and, smiling, walked back to the bar to get the drinks.

"Lily's so beautiful," James proclaimed a few hours and several drinks later as he rested his cheek against this hand and stared absently out the window. Empty shot glasses and half-full mugs of butterbeer littered the table.

"Yeah, well Remus's sexy," Sirius said back, pounding his fist on the table. He turned and ran his fingers over Remus' chest, causing James to roll his eyes. "So, I win because I have Moony and you just... don't."

"I guess we drink again," Peter said to Remus as he lifted his mug and took a hefty swig of butterbeer.

Remus nodded in agreement and raised his own mug to his lips. Somehow it'd been decided within twenty minutes of their first pitcher of butterbeer that every time James or Sirius complimented the physical appearance of his significant other, Peter and Remus would drink. And, of course, whenever Peter and Remus lifted their glasses to cheer, James and Sirius joined in a not-so-subtle attempt to not be outdone. This had been most – but not all – of the reason both pitchers of butterbeer were completely empty.

"But you don't understand, Pa'foot," James said, tearing his gaze from the window to stare glassy-eyed at his best friend. "There's no one more beautiful than m'Lily."

"And again," Remus laughed, picking up his mug and finishing the last of the liquid.

"What are we drinking to?" James asked.

"Your patheticness," Peter informed him. "It's really quite pathetic."

"I resent that," James said with a pout. "Pa'foot is no more unpathetic than I am."

"We already drank to him," Remus said. "You weren't paying attention. You were staring out the window."

"You drank _to_ him?" James asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

"And he will all night," Sirius added, slamming his empty mug down on the table. He reached for the pitcher only to realise that it was empty. Scowling, he turned in his chair so that he was facing the bar. "Hey! Rosie! Fill us up!"

"Not going to happen," Madam Rosmerta with a grin as she walked over to them with a dish towel in one hand and an empty tray in the other. "You have all had more than enough to drink; I'm cutting you off."

"C'mon, Rosie," James pleaded, looking up at her over the top of his glasses, "Just one more drink? Please?"

"Nope," she answered. She flicked her wand and the empty glasses and pitchers on the boys' table floated onto her tray. "Remember how we made a deal that you weren't to fight me when I cut you off?"

"Not at all," Peter lied at the same time that Sirius said: "And you believed us?"

"Well, you did," Rosmerta said to Peter before turning to Sirius. "I didn't believe you in the slightest, but I'm sticking by my word. No more for you tonight. I'm getting ready to close up, anyway. It's late and you lot are the only patrons. Now, leave so I can go to bed."

Sirius, James, and Peter all grumbled incoherently as they shoved their hands into their pockets and slapped several Sickles and Knuts onto the table. Remus shrugged as he added his own share of the bill to the table.

"Thank you for a great time," Sirius said jovially to Madam Rosmerta as she ushered them towards the door. "There's no place like a great place, and the Three Broomsticks is great."

"You're my favourite," James mock-whispered, putting his arm around the barmaid's shoulders and leaning against her drunkenly. "Just don't tell Evans I said so."

"Your secret is safe with me," Rosmerta winked, pushing him off of her and out the door. "Now shoo, all of you. Remus, I do hope you managed to stay sober enough to keep these idiots under control"

Remus just shrugged and followed James into the cold night air. Though, after their night of copious drinking, the air didn't seem quite as bitter. It was more of a comfortable cold, refreshing rather than shocking, after the warmth of firewhiskey and heated indoors.

As they walked back towards Honeyduke's and the passageway back to Hogwarts, the four boys again split into two pairs. This time however, it was James and Sirius who led the bunch, leaning on each other as they stumbled down the empty streets, singing a bit too loudly and proclaiming their undying affections towards their significant others.

"They seem happy," Peter said almost nostalgically as he and Remus followed the two louder boys.

"They are happy, I think," Remus agreed.

"Are you happy?" Peter asked.

"Yes... I am," Remus answered, looking at his friend in mild confusion. It was usually James who asked these sorts of questions, not Peter. James was the Marauder concerned with feelings and emotions and talking things out.

"You're happy with Sirius," Peter said. This wasn't a question, but rather a statement of what appeared to be fact.

"Yes, I am," Remus repeated. When Peter didn't say anything, he continued. "We haven't talked about things yet. We've both been carried away with being back together and neither of us wants to stop and try to think about anything serious. We do need to talk at some point, though."

"You sound like James," Peter pointed out. "All about the talking about things. Hell, I sound like James, too, with all my questions about happiness and the lot."

"We do," Remus said, laughing at the fact that Peter had been thinking along the same lines as himself.

"I wish I were happy," Peter said suddenly. "Like you and Sirius and James."

"You will be," Remus replied uneasily. He wasn't sure quite what to say and desperately wished that James were here. James was always the one who seemed to _get_ people. Remus just felt awkward. He wasn't used to these emotional talks. But James was far drunker than he and far more preoccupied with his best mate.

"I don't know," Peter mused.

"It will take time," Remus tried to comfort him. "These things take time."

"I don't know," Peter repeated. He was silent for a bit before continuing on. "I don't know anything anymore. I don't know if there's any point to all of this, to fighting. Dumbledore says we have to keep fighting, but look what good his fighting did. It got Helen killed."

"That wasn't Dumbledore's fault," Remus said, trying to push the alcohol-induced cloudiness from his brain.

"They don't know who shot the curse that hit her," Peter objected vehemently. He fixed Remus with a hard stare full of anger and fear and pain.

"You're drunk," Remus stated. "You're drunk and you're grieving."

"Maybe I am," Peter agreed. "But you know that saying, about truth in drunkenness. And I mean it."

"It was still a mistake, Peter," Remus insisted. "It wasn't supposed to happen. It was a mistake."

"No, it wasn't supposed to happen," Peter agreed. He continued to stare at Remus for a couple moments before the dark look vanished from his eyes as quickly as it had appeared. He smiled and ran ahead to join James and Sirius in their song.

Remus watched his friend go, a slight gnawing worry in his stomach. He willed himself to remember to talk to James and Sirius about Peter's words later, when they were all sober, before going to join his friends as they ambled towards the castle.

The walk back to the castle, once they'd managed to get into the secret passageway below Honeyduke's, took much longer than the trip from the castle. This was mostly due to Sirius and James' inability to stand walk in a straight line and refusal to unhook their arms to make movement any easier.

Finally, however, the four of them began ascending the stairs. James pulled out the map and blinked at it for a couple of seconds.

"I can't bloody read this," James said, shoving the map towards Sirius.

"The plastered Head Boy gives the map to the more plastered student," Peter muttered under his breath to Remus.

"Padfoot, give it here," Remus said to Sirius, reaching for the map. "I'm not as intoxicated as you are."

"I can do it!" Sirius said, pulling his hand away and giving Remus a firm pout. He pulled out his wand and tapped the piece of parchment, "I solemly swear that I am up to no good. There, see? I can do it. The reason Prongies boy couldn't see anything was 'cause he forgot to ask it nicely."

"Sod off, Padfoot," James mumbled.

"I love you anyway, Prongs," Sirius said, turning to give his best friend a pat on the shoulder but falling onto him instead. "Even if you can't make a map work and you talk about nothing but Evans."

"Just look and see if anyone's coming," James replied, pushing his friend away.

"We're good," Sirius stated after glancing briefly at the map. "Let's go."

"Remeber to be _quiet_," Remus pleaded as they climbed out from the passageway and into the corridor.

The four boys set off towards the Gryffindor tower. They'd had seven years of perfecting their sneaking about skills and so, even drunk, they didn't make too much noise. At every intersection or turn, Sirius glanced at the map to ensure that nobody was coming. They were three corridors, two turns, and one staircase away from the portrait of the Fat Lady when Sirius suddenly stopped.

"Shit. Bloody hell, guys," Sirius whispered, looking up at his friends, his eyes no longer dazed and carefree.

"What is it?" Remus asked, craning his neck to look at the map in Sirius' hands.

"Filch. Coming. Now." Sirius answered, all signs that he'd knocked back several drinks in the past few hours gone.

"Worst corridor for this," Peter said in a strained voice. "No secret passageways or anything. Fuck."

"Get out your cloak, Prongs," Sirius said, turning to James.

"We can't all fit. That'd be a disaster. He'd find us and then my cloak would be taken," James protested.

"Just you get under it," Sirius said. "You'll be in the most trouble if you get caught pissed and wandering."

"What? And just leave you here?" James argued. "No way; I can't do that."

"Sirius is right," Remus pointed out. "You're Head Boy."

"I can't," James insisted. "It's not fair."

"Life isn't fair," Peter said. "Now put on your cloak and go stand in the corner quietly or we'll hex you."

James sent one last desperate glance at Sirius who crossed his arms and gave him a "what are you waiting for" look.

"We need you as Head Boy, mate," Sirius said. "Now swallow your pride and shine a bit green."

"Bugger all," James swore and covered himself with the silvery cloak not a moment too soon. Just seconds after he disappeared, Filch rounded the corner, looking as though Christmas had come early.

* * *

[A/N: And yes, after all of that, we leave you with a Cliffie. We're hoping to have an update for you guys every three weeks or so, at the longest. But, Flameintheflood is starting her senior year of high school and applying for college and I'm starting my junior year as a biochemistry student. Again, we are doing our absolute best, so please don't hate/leave us! Your support and love gets us through the difficult spots and we have every intention of finish Kin and Kisses.

xx Liebe]


	32. Changes

[A/N: Are you guys even there? Do you even want our groveling apologies? Thank you so much to all of you who are still reading! And reviewing! And adding this to your favourites or alerts list. It means so much. I'm not going to go through and thank each of you by name, but let me say again how much I appreciate the reviews that you leave. Knowing that you are all still reading even when we're failing helps us to not give up. Not that we're planning on it EVER.

We do not own Harry Potter]

* * *

**Chapter 32: Changes**

"Well, well, well, look what we have here," Filch breathed, not bothering to mask his excitement, "students out of bed, and on a Monday night."

"Terribly sorry, Mister Filch," Sirius said, his speech still slightly slurred, "we didn't realise it was a Monday, Sir. We would have never been out if we had... ow!"

Sirius turned to glare at Remus. The shorter boy didn't even make an effort to look ashamed as he rolled his eyes.

"Here are three of you," Filch continued as though he hadn't been interrupted. "Where is the fourth? Black without Potter? Now, that cannot be. Where is the Head Boy hiding?"

"Nowhere," Peter blurted out unconvincingly, "He's not hiding anywhere!"

"He's in our dorm," Remus added, looking directly into Filch's eyes and willing his own to not give him away as they were apt to do.

"I see," Filch answered. "And, well, we'll just have to see what the Deputy Headmistress has to say about this. Come along, now."

He turned and began to lead the three boys through the corridors away from Gryffindor Tower and towards his office. James, going against what common sense told him, trailed behind, making as little noise as possible.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter were quiet as they followed Filch through the castle. Their stumbling footsteps echoed through the dark and empty halls.

At long last, they reached Filch's office. The old caretaker ushered the three boys through the door and followed them in, shutting the door before James had a chance to sneak in. Frustrated, James pressed his ear against the door, trying to hear what was going on.

It was useless. While he could hear Filch's rummaging through his desk and the muffled protests, James was unable to discern what was actually being said. It was maddening not being able to know what was happening on the other side of the door. What was worse was that James knew that he should be with his friends getting an earful from the ornery caretaker. It wasn't fair that he wasn't being punished when his friends were. The only thing keeping James from stripping of his invisibility cloak and storming through the door to join his friends were Sirius' words: _we need you as Head Boy, mate._ As much as James hated to admit it, Sirius had been right; James couldn't afford to get detention.

With a sigh, James leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. He could still feel the effects of the firewhiskey and butterbeer. Though he was relatively clear minded, the floor seemed to be tilting and the room spinning.

James opened his eyes and the spinning stopped. He could still hear muffled voices coming from the office and wished that he knew what was going on. Could Filch tell that they'd been drinking? Had Sirius mouthed off and gotten them in worse trouble? Were his friends going to be suspended? James hoped not; being sent away from his friends was the last thing that any of them needed, especially Peter.

"You three stay put," Filch's voice came clearly from the office.

James started and stood up straighter, turning to look at the office door. It was open and Filch was stepping out. James made sure that his cloak was completely covering him. How much time he had spent standing in drunken musings, James wasn't sure of. But, Filch had evidently had his fill of berating the Gryffindor boys.

"I'll be back with McGonagall shortly, so don't get any funny ideas," Filch continued. He stepped completely out of his office and shut the door smartly behind him. As he stalked down the corridor he patted his vest pocket proudly.

As soon as Filch had rounded the corner and James was sure the caretaker wasn't going to return immediately, he stripped off the cloak and burst into the office. The atmosphere that greeted him was far from the careless joy he'd felt just an hour previously. All three of James' friends looked worn and beaten; only Peter had raised his head upon James' entering the room. And, upon seeing that it was James and not Filch, Peter had let his head drop and returned to gazing at the floor dispiritedly.

"What's happened?" James demanded, looking at each of his fellow Marauders in turn. When none of them answered, James turned to Sirius who looked, if possible, more upset than the other two. "Sirius Black, what has happened? How much trouble are you in?"

"He took it, Prongs," Sirius whispered, not lifting his eyes to meet his best friend's.

James swallowed hard. He had a horrible idea of what "it" was and he didn't really want to find out, lest his misgivings were accurate. But, he had to know.

"What did he take, Padfoot?" James asked, desperately hoping that his suspicions weren't true.

"The map," Peter said in a small voice when Sirius didn't answer. "He took the map."

"Bloody hell," James swore. "We cleared it, didn't we? I could have sworn we cleared it. God damn it. How did this happen?"

"We did clear it, James," Remus answered. "But we forgot to put it away. He saw it in Sirius' hand once we got to the office..."

"...and he took it from me," Sirius finished. "I should have put it away, Prongs. I'm so sorry. I wasn't thinking. And I didn't give it to him, I swear. He pulled it right out of my hands before I could do anything."

"He seemed really pleased with himself once he had it," Peter added. "Kept on rambling about how it was sure to be dark magic and how he was sure we'd be whipped or expelled for it."

"But, he doesn't know what it is," Remus assured James, who at this point had paled and resorted to leaning against the dank wall for support. "I doubt he'll be able to do anything with it or find out what it is."

"But..." James started, casting a glance at Sirius, "But..."

"I know," Sirius said. "He took our baby. We haven't even had it for a year, and he took it."

"We'll get it back," James assured him, pushing himself into a standing position and straightening his glasses. "It's our creation. We deserve to have it. We'll figure out how to get it back."

"I don't know, Prongs," Peter lamented. "He said he'd make sure we never saw it again."

"Since when do we listen to what Filch says?" James demanded, turning to stare intently at Peter. "We'll get it back. It's imperative that we get it back."

"We can try, at least," Remus agreed. Then, biting his lip, he turned to the door. "James, put your cloak back on. I can hear Filch coming."

James sighed and, rolling his eyes, threw the invisibility cloak back over himself and retreated into the corner furthest from Filch's desk. A couple moments later, the office door opened and Filch entered followed by an irritated-looking Professor McGonagall.

"Here they are," Filch said proudly, gesturing at the three boys who sat forlornly in front of his desk, "the trouble makers Lupin, Black, and Pettigrew."

"Yes," McGonagall stated shortly, "I can see them, Mr. Filch."

"They claim that Potter had nothing to do with their night time wandering, but I'm not so sure. Where Black is, Potter usually follows."

"So you said on our way down here," the professor said. Filch opened his mouth to continue, but McGonagall cut him off. "And, Mr. Filch, I also remember what you said about suspicious bits of parchment and dark magic."

"We weren't doing dark magic, Professor," Sirius blurted out, uncharacteristically worried. "I swear we weren't doing anything illegal. We-"

"I don't doubt that Mr. Black," McGonagall interrupted him.

"But, I showed you the parchment! I _know_ it's more than a bit of spare paper!" Filch exclaimed, pulling the wiped map out of his pocket and waving it in her face. "I know these four. They are up to no good!"

"True as that may be, I highly doubt the three of them were doing any sort of dark magic," the Head of Gryffindor House continued. "There's a difference between mischief makers and dark wizards. Furthermore, as I told you before, I couldn't detect any traces of dark magic or wrongdoing on that parchment. If you don't trust my abilities, I advise you to go to the Headmaster and pester him with outrageous claims. Now, if you don't mind, I would like to speak with my students in private to discuss their punishments. Shall I do so here, or shall I take them back to my own office."

"Here will do," Filch muttered, his glee and satisfaction from earlier fading. "I have duties to finish." And, with one last glare at the three boys, Filch grabbed his mop and stormed out of the office.

"Now," Professor McGonagall said once the door to Filch's office was shut and she had taken a seat in his old rickety desk chair, "I believe that we have the matter of your punishment to discuss. While I do believe that you three weren't doing anything illegal, the fact remains that you have broken curfew exceptionally well this evening and I hardly enjoy being woken up by Mr. Filch leering and informing me that he has caught wandering miscreants."

She paused for a moment, surveying their faces as though contemplating something before turning suddenly to Remus.

"Mr. Lupin," she demanded, "where is Mr. Potter?"

"He's, er," Remus said, taken aback by the unexpected interrogation, "He's asleep. In the dormitory."

"And if I were to go there right now, where would I find him?" She asked.

James held his breath and stood exceptionally still, trying to avoid making any sort of noise or disturbance in the air that would give him away.

"I'd assume in his own bed, Professor," Sirius replied cheekily. "Though, sometimes I swear that he prefers my bed, so you may find him there. But he's really quite cranky when woken up mid dream, especially if he's dreaming about-"

"That's enough, Mr. Black," McGonagall interrupted curtly. She perused their faces once more and James had never been so glad that he and Sirius had forced the other two Marauders to improve their bluffing faces.

"These are dark times," she continued after a moment of silence. "I know you three are acutely aware of the outside world, of what has been happening. But, when you leave here you'll see how much worse it is. Despite everything that has happened, you've been sheltered within the confines of Hogwarts. I understand your need to relax and have fun. But in less than eight months you will leave here, quite possibly forever, and you will be forced to enter into the real world out there: you will have to be adults. Wandering around late at night is never safe. You are young and too clever for your own good, but you are not invincible."

"We know that, Professor," Peter said, biting his lip and not looking her in the eye. "We will act more like adults, if that's what you want."

"I'm glad," McGonagall answered. "But, as satisfied as I am and clever as you may be, you still broke the rules and must be punished duly. Each of you three will receive a detention for this coming week, when I've arranged the exact time and place, I'll be sure to let you know. Furthermore, I am going to deduct twenty-five points from each of you. Though I feel that I ought to be deducting a sum total of one hundred points, I have no tangible proof besides my intuition and past experience, and so Mr. Potter can rest assured that he won't lose his badge."

James almost thanked her aloud, but closed his mouth just in time. As stern and cold as the Head of Gryffindor could appear, she was fair, and James did like her.

"Yes, Professor," Remus said with a small nod. "We'll inform him as such."

"Very well," McGonagall said. She pushed back the chair and stood up. "Now, off to bed you three. I trust that you can find your way back to your tower without getting lost?"

"Of course," Peter answered.

"Very well. Expect owls with the time and place of your detentions in due course." She opened the door and watched as the three boys filed out. James managed to slip out of the office unnoticed. Standing behind Sirius, he watched as the professor shut the door and nodded their dismissal.

"Oh, and one more thing. If I ever encounter you boys within the walls of this school reeking as strongly of firewhiskey as you do right now, you will be suspended. You may be of age, but in this castle, you are still my students."

* * *

True to her word, Professor McGonagall sent owls to Sirius, Peter, and Remus detailing their detentions. As had become common practice since their second year, the three boys were given separate detentions. Sirius had been subjected to a long Wednesday night in the dungeons with Professor Slughorn. Remus had been assigned to sort files for Professor Hewn who, despite his stern and no-nonsense take on class, was quite messy when it came to filing and grade keeping. And, while he was no Professor Mansfield, the new DADA professor was much more personable on a one-on-one basis, Remus found. Not to mention, he had exceptionally good tea and biscuits. Peter had been placed, once again, with Professor McGonagall sorting broken matches from ones usable for 1st year Transfiguration.

Other than the detentions, however, the week that followed the boys' night in Hogsmeade was as average as it could have been, given the circumstances. Things in the castle were almost back to normal. All the Gryffindor seventh years were soon back in the rhythm of classes and studying and – at least for some – snogging. Helping this transition was the excitement over the quickly approaching Quidditch game between Gryffindor and Slytherin.

But nothing seemed to shock the remaining mourners back to normalcy so much as the reappearance of the House Banners in leu of the black Hogwarts ones. As the 7th year Gryffindor girls walked into the Great Hall that Saturday, they couldn't help but notice the difference. The entire room looked brighter and more welcoming than it had the previous two weeks, but the old familiarity wasn't quite as comforting as they'd have thought. It was strange, the hustle and bustle of lives going on around them. People were laughing and talking as though the previous weeks' losses were but a distant memory.

Lily sat down next to James, leading the other girls to follow in suit and sit with the 7th year boys. While Lily kissed James good morning, Maia glanced across the hall to make eye contact with a dark haired girl at the Hufflepuff table. Emmeline smiled broadly and mouthed '_meet me after breakfast.'_ Maia nodded enthusiastically before looking at Allie and Kate to see if they had noticed the interaction. For reasons she wasn't quite sure of, Maia felt oddly relieved to see that they were engaged in their own conversation.

"Notice Heather's not sitting with us today," Kate whispered to Allie, nodding towards the blonde girl who was eating her eggs and sausage with Kristi and their group of Gryffindor 6th years.

"Think she's okay?" Allie wondered, furrowing her brow in concern. Heather was smiling and laughing with her friends, but even from this distance, it wasn't hard to tell that she wasn't completely enjoying herself. Her smile was too cheerful and the bags under her eyes were more pronounced than ever.

"I dunno…" Kate admitted, keeping her voice low. "I know she and Peter were together last night, so I think she's trying to make it work. I think maybe he's pulling away from her…"

"That's…." Allie sighed. She wasn't quite sure what she wanted to say. Horrible? Understandable? Unfair? But Kate seemed to know what she'd meant, and the taller girl nodded in agreement.

"I know. But I doubt there's anything we can—" Kate stopped talking abruptly as Maia gripped her shoulder in excitement.

"Allie!" Maia interrupted with a loud squeal, catching everyone's attention. "Look up at the staff table! I think you have a visitor."

Confused, Allie turned her head to look at her professors' table. Standing there, finishing up a conversation with Dumbledore was…

"Josh!" Allie exclaimed, her eyes wide with delighted surprise. Ignoring everyone else in the room she stood up and raced down the aisle between tables.

"Allie," He turned to face her, his brown eyes shining in excitement and… something else… maybe nerves?

Allie jumped into his arms and he swung her small frame around in a circle before kissing her lovingly. The two of them pulled apart at the sound of applause and Dumbledore's chuckling, but they couldn't force themselves to separate completely and compromised by continuing to hold hands.

"Oh, don't be shy on my account," Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling. "Young love is sweet. I'll let you be on your way."

"Thanks so much, Dumbledore," Josh said, sincerely. "I owe you one, for sure."

"Not at all," Dumbledore shook his head and walking back to his seat at the Head Table. "Oh, Josh? Good luck."

Josh nodded quickly and turned back to face his girlfriend.

"Hey love," He kissed her again, lips touching again. It was like a string of magic kept pulling them closer to each other, making it impossible for them to stay apart for more than seconds. "Miss me?"

"More than should be humanly possible!" Allie wrapped her arms around his torso and looked up at him. "And did you miss me?"

"More than you know, Allie," He pressed his lips gently against her forehead, breathing in her light flowery scent. "Did you already eat breakfast?"

"Well…" She looked sideways. "Not exactly. But that's okay, I'm not-"

"No, you go back to your table and finish breakfast," Josh chuckled, tucking a stray bit of hair behind her ear. "The Ravenclaws are looking at me funny. I should probably go say hello and explain why I'm here."

"Oh?" Allie tilted her head in curiosity. "Why _are_ you here?"

"To see you," Josh laughed. "Why else?"

With that, he kissed her one more time before they went to separate tables. Allie shoved her food in her mouth at record speed, almost forgetting to chew. Lily, Maia and Kate had to force her to swallow before she got up again. As soon as she was done, she went over to the Ravenclaw table, where Josh was still standing and slid in under his arm.

"Hi," She turned her head to look up at him, her heart glowing.

"Hi," He couldn't help it; he leaned down to kiss her again. Josh's friends all rolled their eyes, but refrained from commenting. As Josh and Allie started walking out of the Great Hall, however, James stood up.

"Hey, mate!" he called across the hall. "You coming to the Quidditch game to tonight? It's Gryffindor vs Slytherin."

"Of course I'm coming!" Josh announced. "It's been way too long since I've seen a game."

James sat down looking content, but Kate stood up and added her two pieces.

"You _do_ know you have to stand in the Gryffindor stands, right? If only so that you can be with Als."

"Don't worry. I'll be cheering for you. I mean, it's not like you're playing Ravenclaw." Josh nodded, solemnly. He smiled, chagrinned, at his old team mates who rolled their eyes understandingly.

Allie still under his arm, the couple exited the Great Hall.

"Shall we enjoy the day? Or would you rather stay indoors?" Josh suggested as the two of them stood in the Entrance Hall between two sets of staircases.

"Let's go on a walk," Allie answered.

Josh nodded and pulled her towards the large front doors and out into the chilly December air.

"Rather cold, isn't it?" Allie commented, snuggling closer against Josh's soft blue sweater. He nodded and rubbed his hands over her robed arms, feeling thick layers of clothe on her skin.

"Do you want to go back inside?"

"No," Allie shook her head. "Just keep holding me and I'll be fine."

"I wasn't planning on letting go."

The couple walked aimlessly through the Hogwarts grounds until they found themselves behind the greenhouses. The entire school, it seemed, had opted to spend the morning before the Quidditch match inside. Josh took the private moment to pin his girlfriend against a reinforced glass wall and kiss her without interruption.

"Josh…" Allie sighed, as they sat against the wall. The silence was comfortable as they listened to their shared breath become slower.

"Allie?" Josh answered in question, his face perfect in relaxed bliss. His hair was messy and his eyes were closed, the yellow sunlight reflecting off his long eyelashes.

"Why did you come today?"

"I needed to see you. It was no easy task coming to the school. Good thing Dumbledore knows me so well and understands what I'm doing-"

"Dumbledore knows you well?" Allie interrupted as she moved to sit facing him. "I never noticed you even talking to him when you were in school…"

"Well, I didn't. Not a lot at least. Just once, actually…" Josh sighed. He sat up a bit straighter and opened his eyes to look into hers. "But I needed to see you… after the attack I had to leave right away and I never got to, well… I never got to make sure you were okay. And Pettigrew… Peter's little sister. I realized how much danger you could be in, too."

"I'm perfectly safe," Allie smiled reassuringly. "I'm at Hogwarts. And they are taking measures to make further Hogsmeade trips safe – that is, if we even have any more. You don't need to worry."

"I trust that," Josh almost blushed. "I'm nothing if not logical. It's just… it made me realise how little time we might have."

"Josh," Allie took his hand in hers and squeezed. "What are you talking about?"

"I need to tell you something,"

Allie didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue.

"The Order of the Phoenix is real," he continued, watching her expression shift from confusion to understanding and then back to confusion in a matter of seconds. "I'm in it. I'm not as active as Kingsley has become, but I'm in it. That's part of why I'm here. I need you to know this."

"Because you're putting yourself in danger?" Allie asked, trying to make sense of such ridiculous information. "Because… it's real. And you're in it."

"Well, yes," Josh said slowly. "But that's not all…"

"Wait," Allie interrupted. "Stop for a second. Just… I need to think."

Allie was in shock. She needed Josh to slow down. It seemed obvious now, that the Order was real, but that Josh was in it? The Order of the Phoenix was supposed to be made up of highly trained witches and wizards, not boys fresh out of Hogwarts. Wasn't Josh just a kid? Weren't they both just children? Yes, they were both of age, both very mature… but they weren't even out of their teenage years. How could Josh be in the Order of the Phoenix? It simply didn't seem real.

"No, Allie, let me finish. That's not all I need to tell you, all I need to say." He clasped both her hands in his and looked into her slightly dazed eyes. "Allie… I want you to marry me."

Silence.

Silence.

"You want…_what_?"

"I want you to marry me. Allie Korrets, I want you to be my wife. I want to be with you forever."

"Marry…"

"Marry me. I love you. Marry me."

Allie couldn't breathe. Josh's hands were so warm on hers. His eyes so sincere it felt as though she was melting in a pool of deep, dark chocolate. Her mind was on fire and her heart pumping blood faster than it had even moments before when they'd been lost in physical passion. Dark brown hair shone golden in the winter sunlight, his lips moving forming words that just couldn't be real. But it didn't feel like she was dreaming. The wind was freezing against her cheeks. Her hair flew in wisps out of her barrettes, getting stuck to her wet lips.

"Allie?" Josh's voice was almost muffled against the rushing blood in Allie's ears mixed with the sound of wind whistling against the castle and grounds. "Please answer me…"

"Josh."

Allie found her voice and her mind started to function again.

"Josh, I love you. But I'm seventeen years old. I'm still a student at Hogwarts."

His face fell, but he nodded.

"I'm sorry… that makes sense."

"But so does marrying you. You're right. I want to love you until I die," Allie spoke fast now, the words coming out almost as if she was solving an arithmancy problem aloud. Her eyes were lit up with excitement, but she spoke with a logical, reasoning tone.

"Allie," Josh leaned toward her, tucking her hair away from her face. He kissed her wind burnt lips with his own, but she pulled away.

"Just… ask me in a year, okay? I'm too young…"

"I hate saying this, but we might not be alive in a year, Als."

"I hate you saying that," Allie agreed, her eyes wide. "Don't think like that. Just don't. Damnit, Josh."

"You swore." Josh almost laughed at Allie's expression.

"Bloody right I swore!" She said, her words falling fast and desperate. "We're not going to die, Josh. We're going to wait for me to finish school, then I am going to get my Healer training, then we'll get married and buy a house and maybe have a baby. All the while we'll be helping to get rid of You Know Who. And Lily and Maia and Kate will be in our wedding with pretty dresses. Then Lily and James will get married and I'll be in her wedding. Same with Peter and Heather. And Kate and Caleb. And maybe even Remus and Sirius. Then all of our kids will be best friends and go to Hogwarts and it'll be okay."

Josh's eyes widened considerably, but didn't say anything.

"Dying just isn't part of the plan, okay?" Allie sighed, leaning back against Josh. "I'm sorry for freaking out… I just… It's going to be okay. We'll be okay."

Josh's eyes still wide, he nodded and kissed her briefly on the lips.

"Better than okay," He said. "We'll be bloody fantastic."

* * *

Lily looked out at the pitch and sighed. Quidditch matches were usually fun. Even if Lily wasn't the hugest Quidditch fan, the group energy was always enough to get her excited. But, today, the enthusiasm and tension in the air didn't make up for the fact that she didn't have anybody to cheer and scream with. The match had started half an hour previously and the lack of foul-play was astounding, especially for a Gryffindor-Slytherin game. For some reason, the lack of outright violence was less than a comfort to Lily and she pulled her robes around her tighter as she shivered, not just from cold, but from nerves, too.

It was unusually late in the year for a Quidditch match, Lily realised. She wasn't sure why the Heads had scheduled this match for the first week of December. As she rubbed her hands together, Lily found herself wishing – not for the first time – that Gryffindor wasn't playing. As much as she'd grown to enjoy watching James on the pitch, Lily thought that the entire event would be more enjoyable if James arms were around _her_ and not the Quaffle.

Remus and Sirius were standing in front of her, arms around each other, screaming for James and the rest of the scarlet-clad players. To their left stood Caleb, looking slightly out of place with one of James' red and gold scarves around his neck but still yelling enthusiastically whenever Kate saved a goal or the Chasers made it past the Slytherin team and scored.

Behind the rowdy Hufflepuff, Emmeline and Maia stood clasping hands. Emmeline had charmed her hat and mittens red and gold for the occasion and Lily had to admit, it was just as odd seeing the sixth year girl in Gryffindor House colours as it was seeing Caleb clad in them. Whenever Gryffindor scored, Maia would hug Emmeline and jump up and down in glee. Every time Maia did this, Emmeline would smirk and look sideways at her.

The first time that had happened, it had caught Lily by surprise. Quite frankly, she'd expected Maia to turn and hug _her_. The second time, Lily had seen Emmeline's smirk and had been extremely amused. The third time, Lily thought she saw something more than House pride in Maia's eyes. But, then Lily had blinked and the look she'd seen on Maia's face was gone, replaced by pure enthusiasm, and Lily shook her head and convinced herself that she hadn't seen anything.

"Gryffindor has really improved this year," Josh shouted to Lily over the roar of the crowd that had erupted when Louise Atwood, Gryffindor's new fourth-year Seeker, dodged a Bludger that was aimed for her head.

"Have they?" Lily shouted back. She hadn't really been able to tell.

"Look at how seamless their passes are," Josh answered, leaning closer to Lily so that he didn't have to shout as loudly. He let go of Allie with his left arm and gestured towards the Chasers. "Look how they seem to be reading each others' minds; they barely look at who they'll pass to. It's really great flying. James has done a first rate job as their captain."

"Better than you?" Allie asked, looking up at Josh from where she stood, still wrapped in his right arm.

"Maybe," Josh admitted. "He's a natural. And the new Seeker isn't half bad, either. Lily, do you know if he's planning on going pro?"

"I don't know," Lily said, frowning slightly. "He hasn't said anything either way."

"He definitely could. He more than has the talent," Josh replied, turning away from Lily to watch as James passed the Quaffle to Jade Verden and swerved to avoid a Bludger.

Lily sighed again as she, too, turned her attention back to the match. Jade had passed to Kristi who flew to about five feet in front of the Slytherin Keeper – Andrew Flint – before passing the Quaffle back to James.

"Potter shoots," the commentary voice boomed out from a couple stands away, "and Potter scores! Fifty-thirty to Gryffindor!"

The crowd erupted in a mix of cheers and boos. Sirius planted a kiss on the cheek of a slightly embarrassed looking Remus and Maia, once again, hugged Emmeline and jumped up and down. Lily clapped and joined in with the screams of "Let's go, Potter!"

Once the Quaffle was back in play and the crowd had settled slightly, Lily returned to taking in her surroundings. Her attention was quickly drawn to the two students standing in front of Allie and Josh. It wasn't their enthusiastic ecstasy at Gryffindor's score that caught her attention. Rather, the tense postures with which they stood, the looks of severity on their faces and the urgency with which they were speaking made Peter and Heather stand out more than any display of rowdy house pride would have.

Against her better judgement, Lily took a slight step to the right towards the couple and strained to hear them over the cacophony of the crowd. Her efforts proved fruitless, however. In a momentary lapse in the cheering, Lily just managed to make out the faint but indistinguishable buzzing of _Muffliato_.

Lily swore under her breath. She'd never asked Snape what the countercharm for _Muffliato_ was, never having had any reason to undo it. She wasn't usually the type to meddle in the affairs of others; she was content to live her own life and offer advice when people sought it out. But for some reason, she was intensely interested and mildly concerned with the scene that was unfolding before her.

Over the past year, Lily had gotten to know Heather and had come to think of her as a friend. Her feelings towards the younger girl had only grown since Helen's death two weeks previously. And while they were by no means close – at least, not like Lily was with Allie, Maia, and Kate - Lily cared about her and knew that relationship problems were the last thing that she needed.

Peter, Lily thought as she watched the two of them, didn't seem quite as concerned with Heather's emotional wellbeing. Lily watched as Heather's expression morphed from anxious to crestfallen. Peter took a step backwards, as far as the tightly packed Quidditch stands would allow, shaking his head. Heather reached out for his hand as he turned away from her, but he shook it off. A moment later, Peter had pushed his way between two eager Gryffindor supporters and had disappeared into the crowd. Heather stood staring at where he'd disappeared before she, too, pushed through the crowd after him.

The crowd roared in indignation when the commentator announced that Slytherin had scored a goal, but this time Lily didn't join in with the shouts. With a quick look at the Quidditch Pitch, Lily silently apologised to James for missing the end of his match.

"Excuse me," Lily said to Josh as she squeezed past him and Allie.

"Where are you going, Lils?" Allie asked, looking at her friend in confusion.

"I think something just happened with Heather and Peter," Lily answered quickly. "I'm going to go see that everything's okay."

"You'll miss the end of the game," Josh pointed out.

"James will understand," Lily argued. "I'm Heather's friend and Head Girl; I have to go." And, with that, she hurried after Heather.

It didn't take Lily long to find her. She was standing at the bottom of the staircase leading up to the Quidditch stands staring blankly over the grounds.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked the younger girl, trying to keep her voice as low as possible while still making it heard over the crowd above them.

Heather just shook her head as tears began to fall from her eyes, and she didn't even bother to wipe them away.

"What's happened?" Lily asked, frowning in concern and pulling her House mate into a tight embrace.

"I don't know what I've done wrong," Heather answered as a sob escaped her and she leaned into Lily. "I don't know what to do and I keep doing everything wrong!"

"Shhh, it'll be okay," Lily murmured into the sandy blonde hair. "It will all be okay."

"I just want to help and I keep making everything worse. It's so hard and it hurts so much," Heather choked out between sobs. "It hurts so much and I can't do anything."

"I know," Lily said, swallowing hard and thinking again of everything that had become so dark in their young lives. They were barely adults and almost still children. The rising darkness had eaten away at their innocence. And Lily feared that too soon it would all be gone.

The crowd erupted for a final time and Lily looked up to see seven red-clad figures flying in formation around the Pitch led by the small figure of Louise Atwood, her fist in the air. Gryffindor had won: 250 points to 40. A victory.


	33. Tears and Talks, Part I

[A/N: Oh dear Merlin, how much do you all want to murder us? We promised we'd get it to you so long ago, we know. We're horrid, horrid people. We could give you tons of excuses, but we won't. We've been busy, but so have you all. Here is Chapter 33, Part I. We will post Part II very shortly - it's complete and just needs beta-ing. So please, if you're still there, enjoy this as a little Christmas gift, and let us know that we still have readers. Happy Holidays, and best to you all.

Liebe & Flame

Also, we own nothing]

**

* * *

Chapter 33****: Tears and Talks, Part I**

_Should I give up  
or should I just keep chasing pavements?  
Even if it leads nowhere  
Or would it be a waste?  
Even if I knew my place, should I leave it there?_

_Chasing Pavements, Adele

* * *

_

"People are going to be coming down soon," Lily said as the Gryffindor team ended their victory lap. "Do you want to go somewhere else before heading back to the Common Room? It will probably be a mad house in there."

"Yeah," Heather answered, pulling back from Lily's embrace and wiping her eyes with the back of a mittened hand. "I think I'll just go on a walk."

"Alone?" Lily asked. "I don't know if that's the best idea. Do you want me to go find Kristi?"

"No," Heather responded, swallowing hard. "Kristi is sick of me being upset about Peter, I think. She doesn't understand. I don't want to bother her. She just won her match, she should be celebrating."

"But you shouldn't be alone," Lily insisted.

She looked at Heather. Despite the girl's efforts, tears were still forming in her eyes. Her skin had lost some of the rosiness it was apt to have, causing the bags under her eyes to be even more apparent.

"How about this," Lily said, glancing over her shoulder and seeing hoards of students descending from the stands. "I'll go find James, let him know that he was great and that I was there, and then I'll come back and we can go on a walk."

"You don't have to-" Heather started.

"I want to," Lily interjected. And she did. As she'd said to Allie and Josh, it was her duty not only as Head Girl, but also as Heather's friend. As much as she would've liked to go back to the warm Common Room and spend time with James, this was more important. Lily knew this, and didn't resent it.

"Okay," Heather consented.

"Wait here," Lily said, turning away and heading towards the locker rooms. "I'll be back in five minutes."

Lily pushed through the mobs of students making their way back to the castle and down to the Pitch. She could see the scarlet of the Gryffindor Quidditch robes, standing out amidst the sea of black cloaks. In the middle of the group was James, holding Louise above the rest of the crowd with the help of Beater, Eric Miller. Lily smiled; it was great to see James so happy, even if it was just as a result of Quidditch. More now than ever, it was the little things that made living bearable.

"James!" She shouted, waving her arms in an attempt to tear his attention of his teammates.

James turned to her, his smile brightening even more. He nodded to Eric, and the two of them put Louise down. Mere seconds later, he had his arms around Lily, lifting her up and twirling her around.

"You smell disgusting," Lily teased when he put her down. "You need a shower."

"I'll get to that," James said, beaming down at her. "Though, I'd be more eager if you wanted to join me..."

"Arrogant prat," Lily laughed, swatting him over the head.

"Did you enjoy the game?" James asked eagerly.

"I would have enjoyed it more if you'd been in the stands with me rather than on the Pitch," Lily admitted, voicing her thoughts from earlier.

"Well, you have me now," James answered, pulling her into another sweaty hug. "I'll shower quickly and then we can head up to the Tower together. Does that sound good?"

"No, actually," Lily replied. She continued quickly when his face fell. "That's actually what I came to find you for. I'm not going to be up in the Common Room for a while."

"Why? What's wrong?" James questioned, his eyebrows furrowed in concern. He held Lily at an arm's distance, looking over her as though to check if she'd been hurt. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Lily said, taking his hands from her shoulders and holding them in her own. "But Heather's not. I think she and Peter got into another fight today, at the match. She doesn't want to go back to the Common Room yet, but I don't think she should be alone."

"Where's Pete?" James asked, biting his lip.

"I'm not sure," Lily answered slowly. "He left before the end of the game and when Heather left, too, I followed. So, I didn't get to see the end of the match; I'm sorry. I just thought... "

"No, it's fine," James assured her. "It's just a Quidditch match... You were right to go after her."

"Are you sure?" Lily asked. She hated the way that James' face had fallen, how all his adrenaline-induced euphoria had faded so quickly. And his reduction of the match to "just Quidditch" wasn't a good sign, either.

"Yes," James said, nodding firmly. "I'm worried about both of them, to be honest... Peter's been... Fuck. I should find Peter."

"He probably needs you," Lily pointed out. "Even if he isn't acting like it. Keep trying to be there for him."

"Right." James nodded.

"I should get back to Heather," Lily said, dropping his hands and glancing back to where Heather was waiting for her. "But, really, James, you did do an excellent job in the match today. I'm sorry for bringing you down."

"It's okay," he replied. "I can't get angry with the messenger... Go, take care of Heather."

"A kiss before I go?" Lily asked, taking a step forward and looking up at him through her eyelashes.

"Is that even a question?" James stepped towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist and closing the distance between them. After looking down at her for a few moments, he lowered his lips to hers.

Lily leaned in, deepening the kiss, and letting her hands run through his hair. She didn't care that he was dirty and smelled of leather and sweat. Just being in his arms for the few brief moments, feeling his warmth and affection, was all that she needed.

"Go find your mates and find Peter," Lily said once she'd pulled away.

James nodded and pulled her against him one last time, before dropping his arms and heading back towards the locker rooms.

With a deep breath, Lily turned and made her away through the crowd to find Heather.

"Sorry that took longer than expected," Lily said when she reached her friend.

Heather was standing against a tree, hugging herself with her arms.

"It's fine," Heather answered softly. "I appreciate you even just being here with me. Everything is so wrong... And you're still trying to make it right."

"I'm happy to try," Lily said, placing a gentle hand on Heather's shoulder. "Come on, let's walk. It will keep us warm and get us away from this crowd."

Heather nodded and the two girls made their way across the grounds towards the lake. The afternoon sun was setting, casting yellow light over the dusting of snow on the ground.

"What's going on with you and Peter?" Lily asked after several minutes of silence. "We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. But, if you do, I'm more than willing to listen."

"I don't know," Heather answered slowly. "Things were going so well, before... Everything was perfect. And now it's not. Whenever we're together, it feels like there's this gulf between us. I'm trying so hard to reach across and, sometimes, I think he is too, but then he'll pull back. It's like he doesn't want to spend time with me anymore."

"It's not just you," Lily said softly, unsure if her word would do more harm than good. "James says that he doesn't really want to do anything with them, either. They practically had to force him to go to Hogsmeade Monday night."

"I know he's grieving, and I know he has to work through it on his own time. But I wish that there was something more that I could do. I feel so useless, Lily. I don't know what to do. I... I couldn't save Helen and now I'm afraid I'm going to lose Peter and I don't know how to save him, either." Her voice broke and fresh tears welled up in her eyes.

"Oh, Heather..." Lily whispered.

"I can't stop thinking about it," she continued, blinking away the tears and swallowing hard. "I keep thinking of everything I could have done differently. I should have had her run in front of me, I should have kept shielding her, I should have stayed with her in Madam Puddifoot's longer... There are so many things that I should have done-"

"Stop," Lily interrupted, "stop that right now. You can't do that, you can't live with the "what ifs" and the "should haves," Heather. It's horrible, and it hurts so much, but wishing it wasn't so... that isn't going to make it better; it's not going to bring Helen back."

"But I should have been able to do _something_," Helen insisted. "I just let it happen."

"Heather, no," Lily whispered and, for the second time that day, she pulled the younger girl into a tight embrace. "It's not your fault."

"But I feel like it is," she cried. Heather was clutching onto Lily, clinging to her and shaking both their bodies with her sobs. Her distress was contagious and Lily could feel her pain as though it were her own. She closed her eyes, trying to ward off her own tears as she rubbed slow circles on Heather's back. Now was _not_ the time for Lily to break apart, no matter how much she wanted to.

"I feel... so guilty..." Heather continued between sobs, "And Peter... He thinks it was... my fault... He thinks it should have been me. It should have been _me_, Lily... Not Helen."

"Listen to me, Heather," Lily said softly, but firmly as she held the crying girl, "It wasn't your fault. What Peter said... he didn't mean it. He was upset and looking for somebody to blame. And you need to stop blaming yourself for what happened. This is nobody's fault but Voldemort's. Put the fault where it belongs: with him."

"It's just so hard," Heather choked out. "I see her die, over and over, in my dreams. I think I see her everywhere. It's just _so hard._"

"It is," Lily agreed. "It really is. I can't even imagine what you're going through, what Peter's going through. Just try to keep being there for him. Talk to him. He needs you, even if he isn't acting like it. And I'll be here for you. All of us will be."

"Thanks," Heather said, pulling out of the embrace to look at Lily. She swallowed and forced a watery smile onto her face. "That means a lot."

"You're welcome," Lily said, smiling back at her.

"I'm sorry for crying all over you," Heather apologised, as she wiped her eyes and glanced at Lily's wet shoulder. "You didn't have to come out here with me."

"No, but I wanted to," Lily answered. "And you don't have to apologise. We all need people we can cry with."

Heather nodded and the two girls fell back into silence. The sun had completely set, the clear day giving way to a starry night. With a small smile, Lily reached out for Heather's hand. The younger girl grasped her hand and they headed back towards the castle.

* * *

The week following the Quidditch match wasn't spectacular by any means. So far as Lily could tell, things hadn't changed much between Heather and Peter. Peter was still quiet and distant, and Heather still remained pale and moved with an air of fatigue. But every time Lily inquired, the younger Gryffindor insisted that she was okay and that she and Peter _were_ trying to work things out. And, so, Lily let the matter drop, resolving to keep an eye on her friend.

Gryffindor's elation over winning the Quidditch match was, too, short lived as both the weather and the world outside of Hogwarts took a turn for the worse. Bitter cold winds and sunless days seemed to reflect the increase in reports of Muggle baiting and murders. Hardly a day passed, it seemed to Lily, that a student wasn't pulled aside to be informed of some ill news. Once again, the school was in a state of fear, much as it had been in the days following the Hogsmeade attack.

Wednesday evening, however, had offered a slight reprise. When the four Gryffindor seventh year girls returned to their dormitory from dinner, they found an envelope addressed to Miss. Lily Evans on Lily's pillow. Lily had smiled slightly when she saw the invitation to Professor Slughorn's biannual Slug Club holiday party. She'd immediately run down to the Common Room to tell James that he'd be accompanying her to the dungeons that Saturday night.

And, so, now it was late afternoon on Saturday and Allie, Kate, and Maia were all in their dormitory, talking happily as Lily got ready for the party.

"I don't think I've ever seen you spend this much time getting ready for a Slug Club event, Lils," Allie pointed out from where she sat on her bed writing a letter to Josh.

"It's because _James_ is going with her," Kate said with a smirk.

"So what if it is?" Lily demanded, turning away from the mirror to face Kate, a strand of her red hair culred around her wand. "If I want to get dressed up and look nice for my boyfriend, I can."

"I wasn't saying you couldn't," Kate answered. "It's just... a year ago you would never have even considered going to anything with the "arrogant toe-rag-Potter" and now, here you are, in love with the boy."

"Shut it," Lily said, blushing furiously and throwing a bit of parchment at Kate before turning back to the mirror examine the curl she'd just formed.

"She doesn't even deny it!" Kate exclaimed, leaning back against her headboard.

"No..." Maia agreed, looking at Kate first, and then at Lily. "She doesn't."

"She's right here, you know," Allie said, casting critical glances at Maia and Kate.

"Yes, I am," Lily added. "Thank you, Allie!"

"My pleasure," Allie answered with a smile.

"Are you?" Maia asked, ignoring Allie and Lily's exchanged as she focused all of her attention on Lily.

"Am I what?" Lily shot back, but she knew what Maia had meant.

Was she in love with James? Her initial response was no, she wasn't. How could she be? After all, she had only known him – _really known him _– for a few short months. She refused to be one of _those girls_ who claimed love and resorted to melodrama. It didn't make sense for her to be in love with him.

But, if Lily stopped thinking about her feelings and just let herself feel them, it was an entirely different story. She felt connected to James in a way she had never felt connected to anyone before. It was as though they had been fated to be together. Yes, they'd spent the better part of six years fighting. But, Lily had come to realise, there had been a reason – especially during sixth year – that James had infuriated her more than the other Marauders. It had always been about him.

Things with James were right. They were exceptionally safe and mind-numbingly terrifying all at once. And, if she let her heart – rather than her brain – answer Maia's question, there was no doubt what the answer would be.

"Earth to Lily!" Maia called out, pulling Lily from her musings. "Answer my question!"

"Which one was that?" Lily feigned ignorance.

"Sod off, you know which one," Maia retorted. "Are you in love with James?"

"I don't know," Lily lied. When she said it aloud for the first time, Lily wanted it to be to James.

"Bullocks you don't know," Maia exclaimed. "How do you not know? It should overwhelm you, the truth of love."

"I don't know how I don't know," Lily answered, annoyed.

"Fine, be that way," Maia pouted. "Kate is boring and with Caleb as per usual. I need something happy and interesting." She turned to Allie. "Allie, my dearest friend, are you harbouring any deep secrets that you feel so compelled to tell us?"

"Well, actually," Allie said slowly, looking up from her letter, "now that you mention it, there is something Iv'e been meaning to tell you. I didn't get a chance at the Quidditch match, or after-"

"Because someone was too busy shaggin her boyfriend," Maia interrupted with a smirk.

"And then, this week I've been so busy and we haven't all been together outside of class long enough," Allie continued, sending a glare across the room at Maia. "And I really wanted to tell you three all at once-"

"So why don't you tell us?" Kate cut her off. She was no longer leaning against the headboard of her bed, but sitting up straight and looking at Allie eagerly.

"Okay," Allie consented. "Well, when Josh was here, we-"

"You shagged?" Maia asked, interrupting Allie once again. "Because already know you do that."

"Who are you, Sirius?" Lily exclaimed as she set down her wand and turned to look at Maia disapprovingly. "Get your mind off of sex and let her finish!"

"Thank you, Lils," Allie said, smiling at Lily. "Well, Josh and I were out on the ground before the match. And he started talking about how danger it is and how short life is and how he doesn't want to live his life without me. And I don't want to live mine without him." She paused, looking around the room at her friends as though trying to decide how she wanted to continue.

"And then... he asked me to marry him!" Allie finished quickly, a huge smile spreading on her face as her eyes lit up with the memory.

Maia's jaw dropped as she stared, wide-eyed, at her friend. Kate blinked several times and the mascara that Lily had been applying to her lashes clattered to the floor.

"What did you say?" Lily asked once she'd regained the ability to speak.

"I said no," Allie answered. At her friends' dumbfounded expressions, she continued, "I told him that I'm too young – that we're too young. I'm still in school! But I told him to ask me again in a year. And I _will _say yes then. He agreed, albeit reluctantly, and then, before he left, he gave me this."

She pulled a chain with a ring on it out from under her shirt. It was a silver ring adorned with two hands clasping a heart which was surmounted by a crown.

"It's a Claddagh ring," Allie explained. "It's a traditional Irish ring meant to convey romantic availability. Josh said that if I wear it on my right hand with the heart towards me, it means that my heart has been captured. It's the same one that his dad gave his mum while they were in school. Now that you girls know, I'm going to start wearing it."

"So, are you engaged, then?" Kate asked, looking curiously at the ring.

"No," Allie answered. "If I were to wear it on my left hand with the heart away from me, it implies I'm engaged... but I don't think I'll do that. Not yet, anyway. It's like... we are pre-engaged. We are committed."

"I'm so happy for you!" Maia exclaimed, jumping up off her bed to attack Allie with a hug.

"Me too," Lily and Kate agreed at the same time as they, too, joined Allie on her bed.

"When did we get old enough for this?" Allie asked, voicing the thoughts she'd had at the Quidditch match.

"Maybe we didn't get old enough," Kate answered. "Maybe the standard is just changing. Rob says that people are getting married all over the place now. It's fear, I think."

"Are you happy, though, Als?" Maia asked. "You're not just doing this because you're afraid, are you?"

"No, I'm not," Allie replied. "I'm doing this because I love Josh and I do want to spend the rest of my life with him. I'm happy. I'm very happy."

"Good," Maia said, smiling and sinking back against her friend. "If you're happy, then I'm happy."

Kate and Lily nodded in agreement and the four of them sat there for a couple of moments, basking in Allie's joy.

"So, does anybody else have news?" Allie asked. "Since, it does appear to be confession time."

"As if anything could top your news!" Kate giggled.

"Nope... No news," Maia said, and Lily thought she sensed the slightest hesitation. "Besides, we have to make sure Lily is pretty for her date... in an hour! And this bed love fest is messing up her hair."

Lily smiled and got up to head over to the mirror to fix her hair. Some of the curls _had_ gotten mussed, and so she redid them and cast a setting charm. As she did so, she wondered if Maia really _had_ hesitated before declining a confession. Had Maia's mouth really opened a bit, as if to speak, before closing and opening again? But, Lily pushed these thoughts from her mind as she wandered over to her wardrobe and pulled out two choices. She'd talk to Maia about it later, she decided, as she turned to her still-giggling friends to ask their opinions on formal wear.

* * *

"Moony," Sirius sighed, watching James dig around for his formal shoe wear, "why aren't either of us in the Slug Club?"

James' vulgar language was muffled from under Peter's empty bed which made it easier for Sirius and Remus to converse as they lay, tangled together on Sirius' messy bed.

"Well, dearest Padfoot," Remus chuckled, leaning his chin against the other boy's chest and looking up with a mock-serious expression, "I _do _believe it is because I'm absolute rubbish at potions and because you can't stand Ol' Sluggy."

"Right," Sirius quirked his eyebrows and raised his voice so that James could hear him over the noise of rabid dust bunnies. "I reckon we aren't missing out on anything really good with those parties, are we?"

"Mmph domph knowhychu ashkin' meh?" came James' incoherent reply.

"Could you understand that?" Remus asked his boyfriend.

"Not really," Sirius admitted, "but he sure as hell didn't sound all that excited, despite the fact that he gets to spend all night with the lovely Miss Evans. What's with that Prongs? The bird not everything you've been yearning for and obsessing over for the last forever?"

"Oh shove off," James finally came out from under Peter's bed holding his shoe victoriously above his head. "We all know it certainly is _not_ a Lily problem as much as it is a Slughorn-might-hate-me problem."

"You're off your rocker," Sirius groaned. "He's been trying to recruit you into the club since he met you. Besides, you're with Lily, the Potions Princess. He could never hate you."

"Hmm," James nodded and looked in the mirror. "Think my stubble looks bad? I think I might want to go shave."

"Er..." Sirius was distracted by Remus who had started kissing his chest, between the flaps of the unbuttoned collar of his wrinkled oxford. "Yeah, mate... go shave. Also, you might wanna brush the dust off your fancy Potter Dress robes."

James nodded and went off to the bathroom to clean up as Remus continued to kiss up Sirius' neck and found his way to nibble his earlobe.

"So... what are we doing tonight, then?" he whispered, causing Sirius to shiver.

For Remus, there was one thing on the planet more pleasure-inducing than chocolate and it happened to be a very complex person –a very complex relationship. The two of them, as Remus knew full well, were probably a match made in hell. Their entire relationship - until recently - had been on and off, and full of drama. Yet somehow, it was also completely constant. It was the kind of crazy that happened so naturally one could compare it to wandless magic. The love between them came in violently passionate spurts and dangerously beautiful flashes of light. Young wizards cannot control magic but it's there, steadily accumulating until the constant layers erupt. That's how the magic between Sirius and Remus is, has always been. They've felt it build for years and now, the constant layers are erupting.

Remus looked into Sirius' dark eyes and let his own trace the chiselled, aristocratic jaw line. He watched as Sirius swallowed hard, his adam's apple bobbing beneath his rough, ivory coloured skin. Black hair stuck in sweaty patches against his neck and Remus gave into the urge to brush that hair away and suck gently on the skin beneath it.

"Well..." Sirius sighed. "I actually did have a surprise for you, but we'd have to go outside. I would also be perfectly content just staying in bed with you. Prongs on a date and who knows where Wormtail is... we'd have the dorm to ourselves."

"That's tempting," Remus mumbled from his place nipping at Sirius' neck. "But you know I'm also a sucker for surprises... so..."

Remus abruptly sat up from Sirius neck, and called out to James.

"Prongs, if you hurry up we'll wait for Lily with you in the common room."

James appeared in front of them almost immediately, freshly shaven and with a grin on his face. After grabbing their cloaks and gloves, the three boys made their ways down to the common room listening to Sirius grumble about how cold it would be outside.

"Precisely why we brought all our winter gear," Remus reminded him as he sat down at the chess table. Sirius groaned in response but started to set up a game of chess.

Just over an hour later, Lily made her way down the stair case and into the Common Room where she and James had agreed to meet. With the help of her friends, Lily had decided on a set of dark green dress robes with a low scoop neckline. She'd filled out some since she'd worn them previously, but Maia and vehemently assured her that they in no way looked too small. She'd left her curled hair down so that her long auburn locks fell across her shoulders and framed her face.

When she reached the bottom of the stairs, Lily glanced around, looking for James. She spotted him almost immediately, lounging in an armchair near the fire and watching Sirius attempt to beat Remus at Wizarding chess. He was wearing plain black dress robes that Lily was sure had cost several times as much as hers and his hair was, as usual, a mess.

Lily stood for a moment, watching him smile leisurely at the board, before crossing the room and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Lily!" He exclaimed, looking up at her and smiling broadly. He stood up and his eyes flitted over her rather obviously before they made their way back to her face. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," Lily replied, smiling back at him and reaching up to push his fringe out of his face. "Your hair is a mess."

"Always," he answered, smiling devilishly. "You know you like it this way."

"I know that nothing short of dark magic could get it to lie flat," Lily quipped.

"I don't know," Sirius muttered from where he sat, "I don't recall seeing anything in my family's libraries that would fix _that_ disaster."

"Sod off, Padfoot," James shot back, but his smile didn't falter and his eyes didn't leave Lily. He lifted his own hand, brushing _her_ hair out of her face. "You do look beautiful. "

"It's just some dress robes, James," Lily laughed, blushing slightly. "It's nothing to get too excited over."

"Prongs here could get excited over the thought of you dressed as an Eskimo," Sirius retorted, this time earning himself a glare from James.

"Ignore him," Remus muttered, not looking up from the chess board. "They're both prats. I haven't figured out why we keep them yet."

"Because we're lovable prats?" Sirius suggested.

"Something like that," Remus replied, causing Lily to chuckle.

"Maybe it's because we're just so good in-" Sirius started, but his comment was cut short by a blow to the head from James.

"Let's get away from this clot," James said, turning away from his best friend to face Lily once again. "I do believe we have a party to attend, do we not?"

Lily nodded and, taking his hand, led James away from his friends and out of the Common Room.

Not five minutes later, Maia traipsed down the stairs to meet up with the left over boys. She watched quietly as they finished up their game.

"I concede," Sirius laughed, knocking down his King chess piece. "You are the King of Chess. I am but a mere jester in your court."

"No," Remus laughed, "Wormtail's more likely the King of Chess. He's way better than me."

Sirius smiled and looked up. For the first time, he notice the smiling girl mere feet from them, "Hey, Maia."

"Hello, Maia," Remus also greeted. He stood up and grabbed his cloak. "Shall we get going? Padfoot said we'll be outside."

"Yes we will, eventually," Maia nodded, leading them out of the red and gold warmth of the Gryffindor common room. "But we have to go out the traditional way through the Entrance Hall so we can meet up with Emmeline. Sorry, I know you probably know a faster way to the grounds, but I'm woefully not as all-knowing as you two are."

"No way she could be," Sirius agreed enthusiastically.

Remus shook his head and rolled his eyes at Sirius' huge lack of modesty, and the three of them laughed as they made their way to the Entrance Hall. Emmeline stood there, waiting to meet them. As soon as she saw Maia, her face broke into a wide smile, and she hurried to meet the three Gryffindors. Together, they made their way through the doors and outside.

The grounds found the four students shaking in cold with grins plastered on their faces. An abandoned fort made a wall underneath the large willow tree by the lake, and after Emmeline vanished the snow from beside it, the four of them leaned against the wall to stare across the ice.

"Is anybody going to explain the surprise to me now?" Remus asked after a moment of contented silence.

"Right-oh, Moony," Sirius winked at his boyfriend and tilted his head to Emmeline, who, laughing, started fumbling around in her robes.

"We've decided to be rebels," Maia explained to Remus. "And I mean that in the most adolescent way possible."

Before Remus had a chance to become thoroughly confused, Emmeline pulled a yellow, blown glass pipe and a bag of leafs out of her robes.

"Gillyweed," she laughed in response to Remus' blank stare. "It's magic. Sirius said you've never smoked before?"

An amused smile crept onto Remus' face as he watched Emmeline pinch out some of the shredded, dried greens and place them in the pipe's bowl.

"No, I haven't," Remus shrugged. "I didn't know you had, Padfoot. Way to keep secrets."

"Not a secret," Sirius shook his head. "And I haven't ever smoked Gilly before. I mean, you remember when I smoked those Muggle things back before Third Year, but that was purely to infuriate my mother. The Fish is incredibly different from ciggernets."

"Cigarettes," Maia laughed. "And yeah, those are gross and pointless. Muggles are weird."

Emmeline pulled out her wand to light the pipe with one hand while dragging the purple smoke to swirl into the pipe, visible under yellow streaks in the clear glass. Holding her breath, she smiled at Maia and beckoned the other girl closer until their lips touched. Small wisps of smoke escaped as she shared the smoke with Maia.

"Surprise number two," Emmeline continued, lacing her fingers through Maia's. "Maia gave me permission to out us to you boys."

"Ha," Sirius laughed, taking the Gilly from Emmeline and pulling out his wand. He blew out puffs of purple smoke before continuing, "I totally called that."

"No you didn't," Remus laughed. "But I'm happy for you two."

Sirius handed Remus the pipe, and holding it up to his boyfriends lips, he lit it. Remus rolled his eyes before breathing in his first hit. Almost immediately, he was overtaken by body-wracking coughs. Sirius pounded him on the back as he laughed heartily.

"I so called the lesbian thing!" Sirius argued once Remus' coughs had died down. "Remember? When I decided that everyone at Hogwarts was gay."

"Somehow, I don't think Lily and James are of the same gender," Maia retorted.

"I'm not so sure..." Sirius deliberated, "My brother can be rather femme. And I mean that in the best way possible."

"Being femme does not mean he's a girl." Emmeline stopped talking and leaned her head against the snowy wall to watch the sky get darker as she took another hit.

"I agree with Emmeline," Maia mumbled, snuggling her head onto the girl's shoulder. "She's smart. And James is a good old heterosexual male, despite how incredibly in tune with his emotions he is."

Silent agreement hovered in the freezing air. Warmth settled into their bodies as the Gilly made its rounds through the first bowl and into a second, then a third and a fourth. A round of laughter would ensue as they took turns naming different scenarios in which Lily 'took the muggle-pants in the relationship'. The four students had shed their mittens so that their fingers could connect them all in warmth. Somehow, each person was in contact with the other three, by way of grasping fingers, splayed arms or tangled feet.

Sirius and Remus took contact further as they discovered all the ways in which they weren't touching and attempted to fix them. Cold lips met cold lips and slippery tongues warmed those lips to embrace the spreading warmth. Sirius nuzzled his nose into Remus' soft hair and –content that they were touching as much as they could - closed his eyes. Remus watched the icy lake reflect glitter in the light of the raising moon –a sliver of white wax, waning away from danger.

Maia let out a sigh of contentment as she snuggled into Emmeline's shoulder.

_She smells so fucking good. _Maia wasn't sure if she was speaking or thinking, but she knew that Emmeline could hear her either way. _I want to taste the way you smell. _She giggled into Emmeline's shoulder. _ You can't taste a smell... yet I feel like I can imagine the taste of roses based completely on smell. They taste like roses. And Emmeline does taste good. She smells good too. But not like roses... Because Emmeline isn't a flower._

"I almost forgot to ask," Remus said as he turned to look at the Hufflepuff girl. She knocked the cashed ashes out of her pipe. "What exactly did Maia say we were rebelling against?"

"I believe she's more of a rebel without a cause," Emmeline shrugged with the shoulder her girlfriend wasn't giggling into. "Say, Remus, we should hang out more often. You're a very nice person."

"Thanks," Remus smiled at the girl who he was coming to consider a friend. "You're nice too."

"Yes," Sirius mumbled, stroking Remus' nose gently. "We're all pretty nice."

"You're wrong," Maia giggled.

"We aren't nice?" Sirius pulled out of Remus' mane to stare at Maia. "Sad."

"No," Maia broke into a light fit of giggles once again. "No, I meant about the rebel thing. I have a cause. We all have a God-damned cause."

"Oh?" Emmeline ran her fingers through Maia's hair, so that she could look properly into the girl's eyes. "What is this god-damned cause? The ever looming battle between good and evil?"

"No..." Maia grinned. "Our cause is..."

But before Maia could finish the thought, she burst into laughter and buried her face into Emmeline's chest.

"Say," Remus changed the topic. "Do you think we're fulfilling the stereotype of queer teenagers?"

"Who cares?" Emmeline shook her head slowly. "I'm happy."

Remus felt those words reverberate through his mind: _I'm happy_. And he realised, he was happy. Life was scary and death was scarier, but happiness, that terrified him the very most. Yet, the terror wasn't all bad. And, somehow, this fear was _good_.

"What would you do if you knew you were going to die?" Remus asked his friends.

"We're all going to die," Maia giggle-mumbled. "That's okay though. I'd rather die than... live forever!"

"I'd do you, Moony," Sirius whispered. He bit Remus' earlobe and started trailing kisses down his neck. "Sound good?"

"That's beautiful," Emmeline smiled. Strangely enough, sarcasm had left her voice for a moment. She ran her hands across the soft body of the girl who lay, draped across her –her hands finding every curve beneath the layers of winter clothing. "I'd want to be with Maia –along with all my friends and family. But yeah, sex would be high on the list of things to do in excess before dying."

"Well..." Remus scooped up a handful of snow to lick while he spoke. "We might die. Earlier than expected."

"That's what I was saying!" Maia turned her head so that everyone was sure to understand her.

"We're rebels," she continued. "We're rebelling against the stupid idea that just because death is super likely, life is less likely. Death might happen, but I'm rebelling against the idea that we are dying. I'm not in a hospital bed! None of us are and... well... I'm happy... I mean, yeah I'm high right now, but I'm also happy. And I'm not going to let doomsday ruin this for me... and... You get what I'm saying. Or maybe you don't. But that's what we're rebels for –In the most adolescent way possible."

Emmeline, Remus, and Sirius looked at her. Stillness stretched across the frozen lake and the winter wind whipped across the icy surface to splash the reality of the cold onto their exposed skin.


	34. Tears and Talks, Part II

[A/N: up within a few days, as promised! We'll try to get Chapter 34 to you as soon as possible. This is the second part of the last chapter - these events take place at the same time as the scene with Maia, Emmeline, Sirius, and Remus. Happy post-holidays!

We own nothing, as always]

* * *

**Chapter 33: Tears and Talks, Part II**

_I've made up my mind,__  
__Don't need to think it over__  
__If I'm wrong, I am right__  
__Don't need to look no further,__  
__This ain't lust__  
__I know this is love_

_Chasing Pavements, Adele

* * *

_

"What are your friends doing tonight?" Lily asked as she and James made their way away from the Gryffindor common room and towards the dungeons where Professor Slughorn's party was taking place.

"Who, Sirius and Remus?" James asked. "I'm not entirely sure what they have planned. Sirius was quite excited about it, though, which scares me a bit. Whatever it is, I'm sure the two of them will enjoy it."

"Would you rather be with them?" Lily asked. "I _am_ kind of dragging you away from your friends."

"Trust me," James said, chuckling to himself, "Whatever Padfoot and Moony _are_ up to tonight, I don't want to be a part of it."

"No," Lily said, laughing as she swatted James on the arm. "I meant with all of them. Peter, too. You wouldn't rather be spending time with them?"

"Lily," James said in a low voice. He stopped walking and turned her to face him. "There is absolutely nobody I would rather spend time with than you."

"Even if it means spending an evening in the dungeons with members of the Slug Club?"

"I've attended more painful events, I'm sure, at my own house," James replied. "And, I have you as a buffer. Slughorn will be so busy showing off his star potions pupil that he won't even think about harassing me about that essay I never turned in."

"What essay?" Lily asked, frowning.

"Oh, you know," James said conspiratorially, "that one essay that we never actually had..."

"Oh, you turned that in," Lily replied, smirking and continuing down the corridor. "You just haven't gotten the marks back, yet. It's still being graded."

"Is it?" James asked, hurrying to catch up with her. "How do you think I did on it? I'm thinking an O."

"We'll see," Lily answered. "Come on, the party started over half an hour ago and people usually arrive at these on time."

"Rubbish party, then," James said, but he took Lily's hand in his again and they continued down the corridor.

Several minutes later, Lily and James arrived at Slughorn's office. Voices and the sound of conversation could be heard coming from the overcrowded room.

"I suppose we should probably go in, then," Lily said with a sigh.

"What, don't you want to?" James asked curiously.

"Well, it's like you said," Lily admitted. "Slughorn will want to introduce me to previous students of his and people he thinks I can make connections with, but I don't really want that. I'd much rather spend time with just _you._"

"Then I guess I'll have to act as a buffer for you, too," James answered, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "It will be fine. We can get some food, maybe dance a bit, and leave. Then we can spend as much time alone together as you want."

Lily just rolled her eyes and smiled back. Taking a deep, she pushed open the door and entered the office.

Once again, the Head of Slytherin had managed to outdo his previous parties. Live fairies fluttered around ceiling, glowing bright white. In each corner of the magically enlarged room stood a small Christmas tree adorned with candles. Along one wall, a band that Lily didn't recognize was set up and playing their own renditions of holiday songs. An elaborate table laden with peppermint pasties, crystallized pineapple, steaming meat pies, and eggnog was on the opposite wall. Students and Hogwarts alumni alike were milling about, eating, drinking, and conversing.

"This is ridiculous," James said, glancing around at the various ice sculptures.

"This," Lily responded with a smile, "is a _Slug Club_ party."

"Are they all like this?" James asked. "This is easily as fancy as some of the parties my _mum_ has thrown, and those are for the upper circles of pureblood society."

"This is more extravagant than some," Lily answered. "But Professor Slughorn really wants to impress his former students."

"Speaking of Sluggy," James said in a low voice as he pointed at the robust professor making his way through the crowd towards the couple.

"Lily!" Slughorn exclaimed. "Lily, I'm so glad you could make it. Really, I've just been telling my dear friend Alfred Ashdown about you. He's an excellent, excellent man, excellent potions master. He owns a chain of breweries in top notch potions. He is very much looking forward to meeting you, Lily dear."

"Great, thanks, Professor," Lily said, biting back a laugh at James' astounded expression.

"Make sure you go find him later," Slughorn advised. And then, as if seeing James for the first time, he continued, "Oh ho, Lily! You and Potter, then?"

"Yes," Lily replied. "James and I are together."

"Lucky boy, James," Slughorn exclaimed, clapping James on the shoulder. "Lily's quite the bright witch."

"I'm very lucky, Professor," James agreed.

"Well, I must go find some of my other guests," Slughorn said jovially. "Remember, Lily, see if you can find Alfred Ashdown. Tall, rather round man. Good to see you, Potter."

"Well, that wasn't too bad," James said with a smirk as Professor Slughorn ambled away from them into the crowd.

"No, it wasn't," Lily agreed. "But I guess this means that I'll have to go find Alfred."

"No you don't," James replied lightly. "Sluggy probably will never know if you actually did. You don't have an obligation to. Unless you want to."

"Maybe I will later," Lily said. "It could be beneficial networking, I suppose. But I don't feel much like selling myself. I can always talk to him if we happen to cross paths."

"Brilliant," James answered. "Do you want me to go get some eggnog or pasties?"

"Are you going to spike the eggnog?" Lily asked, eyeing her boyfriend sceptically.

"Would I do such a thing?" James responded in mock offense. "This is a school sanctioned event and we are Heads."

"And that has stopped you before?" Lily shot back.

"Well, I don't have any alcohol on me," James pointed out. "And unless you have a flask hidden in those dress robes..."

"Go get the eggnog, James," Lily laughed. "I'll wait here."

"I'll be right back," James said, before turning and making his way through the crowd towards the food table.

"Lily!"

A slightly familiar voice tore Lily's eyes away from James' retreating figure. Lily turned around to see Dirk Cresswell, a sixth year Ravenclaw, smiling and waving.

"Hey, Dirk," Lily said, returning the smile. "Are you having fun?"

"Not so much," Dirk replied, pulling his mouth into a pained grimace. "Slughorn pounced on me the moment I got here and stuck me with a bunch of Ministry heads. Delightful, really."

"Is that sarcasm I hear?" Lily asked with a laugh.

"Loads of it," Dirk answered. "Anyway, I'm really glad I saw you here. You always make these things more enjoyable. I don't know how you do it."

"Well, I'm glad I can help. Did you come with anybody this time?"

"No," Dirk lamented. "I didn't manage to secure a date. What about you?"

"I'm here with James, actually," Lily answered. "It's his first Slug Club event, but he's managing just fine. He's off getting some drinks right now."

"James Potter?" Dirk asked. When Lily nodded, he continued. "Oh, yes. You're seeing him now, aren't you? He's not a half bad bloke."

"Not at all," Lily replied. "I'm actually quite fond of him."

"I have to say," Dirk mused, "When I found out that he was Head Boy, I about died laughing. I was sure Dumbledore had gone mad."

"Me too," Lily agreed. "But he's done a brilliant job, I think."

"Yes, that's what I hear," Dirk said. "Oh, it looks like he's coming back with your drinks."

Lily glanced over her shoulder. Sure enough, James was making his way back through the crowd holding two mugs of eggnog.

"Here you go, Lily," James said, handing her one of the mugs. She took it and he placed his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. "Did you miss me?"

"Always," Lily answered, a new smile forming on her face. She glanced down at the mug. "Should I trust you to drink this?"

"It's only been spiked with Ogden's best," James teased.

"I suppose that's okay then," Lily replied before taking a sip.

"So, who is your friend?" James asked, finally noticing Dirk's presence. He eyed the shorter teen, looking him up and down appraisingly.

"Oh, James, this is Dirk Cresswell," Lily answered. "He's a year behind us; Ravenclaw. I know him from past Slug Club events."

"I see," James said. "Well, it's nice to meet you, Cresswell. I'm James, Lily's boyfriend."

"I know who you are," Dirk laughed. "Head Boy and trouble maker extraordinaire, James Potter."

"Captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, too," James added tersely. "You play Quidditch, Cresswell?"

"Oh no," Dirk said, laughing again. "I can hardly tell a Quaffle from a Bludger. I find myself better suited to spend the time and energy on schoolwork. Though, I do see how Quidditch could appeal to some people."

"It's a lot harder than it looks, you know," James pointed out.

Lily looked up at him, frowning. James was staring through slightly narrowed eyes at Dirk, and his jaw was slightly clenched.

"I'm sure it is," Dirk agreed. He'd stopped laughing and was now looking at James with slight trepidation. "Well, I think I just spotted some of my other mates. So, I'll be off now."

"Bye, Dirk," Lily said, shooting him an apologetic glance. Dirk just nodded and slipped away into the crowd.

"_What_ was that?" Lily demanded, rounding on James and glaring up at him.

"What was what?" James asked, his face a picture of innocence that Lily didn't buy for a moment.

"Don't be a ponce. You know what I mean. What was that, just now, with Dirk?" Lily stared into his eyes, daring him to lie.

"I... Well..." James ran his hand through his hair and bit his lip.

"I'm waiting," Lily said, her voice low, "to hear the reason that you acted like such a insufferable _prat_ to my friend."

"I know," was James feeble response.

"Because, if you've got something against 6th years, or against Ravenclaws, or, I don't know, against blondes, then please, elucidate the matter for me. I really would love to know what I'm hexing you for."

"I didn't like the way he was looking at you," James mumbled, avoiding Lily's eyes and opting to stare into his mug instead.

"What?" Lily blinked, taken aback. She didn't understand what James meant. She knew for a fact that Dirk didn't care about blood status, that he didn't wish her harm.

"I didn't like the way he was looking at you," James repeated. He took a deep breath and exhaled. "It's... Lils, you look amazing tonight. I mean, not that you don't always look amazing... But right now it's there for everybody to see. And they _do_ see it. It's not just Dirk... It's everybody. You're too gorgeous not to notice."

"You're... you're jealous?" Lily asked, incredulous. "Why on Earth would you be jealous? I'm here with you. I don't want to be with anybody else, James. You know that."

"I do..." James assented.

"So, then why do you care that other guys are looking at me?" Lily pleaded, her voice suddenly softer and gentler. All the other guests seemed to dissolve into the background and, to Lily, only herself and James were in the room. She shook her head and sighed. "I'm too in love with you to even notice."

James blinked down at her, dumbfounded.

"You're what?" he asked, his eyes wide and staring.

"I'm in love with you," Lily repeated. She bit her lip. She hadn't meant to say it, to tell him. Not like this, at Slughorn's Christmas party in the midst of an argument, at any rate. She'd only fully realised it herself a few hours previously, but she _knew_ it was true. She knew it like she knew that her name was Lily Evans and that Voldemort was evil.

"You're infuriating and a complete jealous _prat._" Lily continued, blushing slightly but looking firmly into James eyes, "But in spite of all of that, or maybe because of all of that, I can't help love you."

"Oh," James replied, still staring at his girlfriend as though he didn't quite recognize her.

"Oh? That's all you have to say?" Lily asked, frowning slightly.

"What do you want me to say?" James asked in response. He was returning her fierce gaze now, his hazel eyes burning into her green ones with alarming intensity.

"I don't know," Lily whispered, suddenly lost. "Maybe say it back? Tell me I'm crazy? Say anything at all?"

"Lily..." James started, reaching out to touch her cheek, but Lily shrugged away.

"I need some air," she said. The rest of the party came flooding back into Lily's awareness and sheer amount of people crowded into the office was suddenly overwhelming. There were students and guests everywhere, too many of them, and it was suffocating her.

"Lily, wait," James said, reaching out again.

Lily shook her head, backing away quickly before turning completely and hurrying across the room and out of the dungeon office.

The air in the corridor was noticeably cooler, and the sounds of the party were all but muted. But escaping the crowd hadn't provided Lily with the relief she'd hoped. She didn't make it more than one corridor away before, gasping for breath, she leaned against one of the cold stone walls and sunk to the floor.

Lily didn't know what had happened, what _was_ happening. She didn't know why it felt as though her airways had constricted, why the world was spinning. And she didn't know why she'd reacted the way she had.

While she hadn't planned on telling James that she loved him, as soon as the words had left her mouth, she'd expected a response. Something – _anything _– other than the "Oh" he'd given her. And, now that she thought about it, Lily realised that she'd expected James to say it back. But he hadn't, and Lily didn't know why.

He'd said it before, she knew. Lily remembered voicing her doubts about love the previous spring in Hogsmeade. As she sat on the cold ground, James' words came back to her with perfect clarity: _"See, I've been in love with the same girl since I was fourteen years old. And even though I might never get a chance with her, and even though it might hurt like crazy, I don't regret feeling this way at all."_

So what had changed? Had something changed? Had James just been saying that he loved her all those years, not knowing what it meant? Had her admission of love made him realise that he _didn't_ love her?

She'd spent so much time – so many _years_ – denying any feelings towards James that now, opening herself to the feelings of love... It scared her. Lily didn't want to be dependent on James, but she was. That much she did know.

"Lily?" James' voice rang out through the empty corridors, pulling Lily from her thoughts. "Lily, where are you?"

Lily swallowed, but didn't answer. She knew James would find her eventually. She hadn't made it very far, after all, and James was nothing if not persistent.

"Lils?" James' voice was closer now, and Lily could hear his footsteps echoing on the stone floor. A moment later, she could see him at the end of the corridor. His footsteps slowed telling Lily that he'd seen her, too.

"There you are," James repeated, hesitantly shortening the distance between them.

"James," Lily started, "I don't want-"

"Fuck, Lils, are you crying?" James interrupted, abandoning all caution and hurrying to kneel next to her.

"I don't know," Lily replied. Was she crying? She lifted a hand to touch her cheek; it was wet. "I guess so."

"I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to-"

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything," Lily cut him off. "It was stupid of me to... I just thought..."

Her words faded as she looked away from James. Lily didn't know what to say. She was struggling to breathe, to stop the thoughts racing through her head. There wasn't room in her mind to try to explain to James what was wrong. Especially when she wasn't completely sure why she was so upset – so scared - over it in the first place.

She could feel the tears now, hot on her cheeks, and she went to wipe them away, but James caught her hand in his. Silently, he lifted his other hand, wiping the tears away himself before turning her face to look at him.

"Lily," he started again. "Lily, listen to me. Don't ever apologise for what you just said. It was probably the most important thing anybody has _ever _said to me."

"But you just stood there," Lily argued, taking her hand from his and looking fiercely into his eyes. "You just stood there and asked me what you were supposed to say!"

"I was in shock Lily," James defended. "That was the last thing I expected you to say. I didn't know what to do."

"Have you thought about what to do, now? You're not in shock still, are you?" Lily demanded, fully aware that she was being childish and immature, but unable to stop the words flowing from her mouth. The searing pain in her chest was being replaced with hot anger and she embraced it. It was easier to be angry than to be hurt. Anger was still more familiar when it came to James.

"Well, to be honest, a little bit," James answered slowly. He squinted at her through his glasses, a slight frown on his lips. "I'm a bit confused, too."

"_You're_ confused?" Lily questioned, the tears flowing steadily down the sides of her cheeks and onto her neck. "I told you that I loved you, and you did nothing. After years of professing your love to me, you couldn't say it back? I can't even count how many times you claimed to love me and the one time it matters, the one time it would mean _anything-_"

"That's exactly it," James interrupted. "It _means something_ now. Those other times I said it? Fuck, I didn't know what I was talking about. I didn't know what love was, not really."

"And you do now?" Lily asked. "Because I remember last spring you told me to not be afraid to love. You seemed to know what you were talking about then. Are you afraid, now? Are you afraid of loving me?"

"I'm afraid," James answered, reaching once again to wipe the tears from Lily's face and, this time, she didn't jerk away. "I'm afraid of losing you, Lily. I'm afraid of botching things up and a sure fire way to do that would be to tell you that I love you when I'm not one hundred percent sure that I mean it the way I have to mean it. It matters too much."

"How can you not be sure? I know that I love you with every bit of me," Lily whispered, echoing Maia's words from earlier in the dorm. "It's overwhelming. How can you not feel it? It's like the magic I thought of as a kid, the kind of magic that exists in fairy tales. I've never been so sure of anything, James. How can you not be?"

"Because I convinced myself I was in love with you for so long," James explained, "and this is so different. You're important, Lily. You're so important that I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I don't know what I'd do without you either," Lily admitted.

"Then you understand why I don't want to mess this up?" James asked, looking at her with burning eyes. "You understand why I _can't_ mess this up?"

"Yes," Lily answered. "But I don't understand why you can't tell me you love me, when we both know you do."

"Because right now there is confusion and shock and fear. When I say it - when I tell you that I love you - you will be able to know without any doubt that it is nothing but the absolute truth. But until then, Lily, I won't say it. Can you accept that, even if you can't understand?"

"I guess I have to," Lily said after a moment of silence. "Do I even have a choice?"

"Do you want me to mean it?" James asked. When Lily nodded, he continued. "Then you don't have a choice."

"You're insufferable," Lily said with a sigh.

"And you love it," James replied, causing Lily to laugh.

"For now, at least. Don't press your luck," Lily warned.

She looked into his hazel eyes, so full of adoration and care and concern. The panic that had risen in her half an hour before was subsiding. James made her feel comfortable and safe, even when he was the cause of her fear. His confidence that he _would_ tell her that he loved her calmed her. As much as she wished he'd say it now, as insecure as she felt having been the one to say it – and really mean it – first, she didn't want to force him to say something he couldn't fully mean. He'd never forced her to do anything she wasn't comfortable with and she owed him the same respect.

"Come on," James said, standing up and reaching out a hand to Lily. "I'm starving."

"I don't want to go back to the party, James. I look wretched," Lily responded, but accepted his hand and stood up.

"I think you look beautiful," James asserted, pulling her close to him and wrapping his arms around her. "I think you look beautiful even when your face is blotchy."

"You're such a charmer," Lily said.

"Years of practice, dear," James said with a laugh. "We'll go to the kitchens. I think we've had enough of Sluggy's party, don't you think? Alfred can meet you some other time."

Lily nodded and the two of them set off down the corridor away from Slughorn's office.

"Are you okay?" James asked as they walked, hand in hand.

"Yes," Lily answered. "We will be, too, James. You aren't going to lose me."And, despite everything, she knew that her words were truth.

* * *

Peter couldn't look at her anymore; he needed to get out. The common room was half full –the perfect amount of people for somebody's business to become everybody's business. Heather was digging her pink, glossy nails into his clammy fingers, but he could barely feel it. Her desperate gaze was making his stomach hurt and a group of fourth years kept looking over at them. The common room had never felt so small.

"I-" Heather started.

Peter stood up, cutting her off. Heather's arm jerked as he stood. But, despite her gasp of pain from the sudden movement, she didn't release her grip on him. Her eyes were constantly pain-filled these days and Peter knew he was causing it, but it wasn't as if he could make her pain go away. He couldn't protect her; he couldn't protect anyone.

"I'm leaving," Peter whispered to her, his eyes darting over to the nosy fourth years. "People are watching-"

"No," Heather interrupted him, standing up next to him. "We aren't done-"

"Yes, Heather darling, we are." Peter hitched his voice higher, mocking sweetness. His face twisted into a sugar-coated smile and he kissed her softly on her sweaty forehead. Allowing himself to close his eyes briefly, he relished her scent. After a couple moments, though, he forced himself away. "Well, I'd best be off then."

Peter swallowed hard. He wished her sweet smell wouldn't linger in his nose, mocking him as he'd mocked her. He turned to leave the common room.

As he passed the fourth years, he heard the buzz of their whispers and looked up at them with his best innocent, pitiful smile. The action was rewarded, and they stopped whispering to share looks of sympathy with each other. Nobody could hold a bad attitude against somebody whose little sister had just died. Peter knew this and was not afraid to use this new power. If nothing else, he could use their sympathy to keep them silent.

That's what he wanted - for everyone to just shut up.

Once out in the corridor, Peter leaned against the stone wall, relishing the silence. Nothing was going right, and everything was going wrong. He couldn't fix things with Heather; he didn't even know if he wanted to. He didn't know what he wanted anymore, only that he wanted things to be easy, like they used to be. He wanted to be the little boy he'd been just a few months ago when he'd carved pumpkins with his girlfriend and sister. But, just because he wanted something didn't mean he'd get it, even if he could suss out what he desired.

After a moment, Peter realised that he wasn't alone. Turning his eyes, he saw Heather standing a couple feet away, by the portrait hole. She was frowning slightly, and wringing her hands as she stared at him.

"I said," he whispered, straightening and turning to face her, "we're done. I can't have this conversation right now."

"Right now?" Heather breathed, her soft tone incredulous. "You mean ever! I don't remember the last time we actually talked about something. Whenever I even so much as say 'hello', you start doing this. Then you pretend like nothing is going on and... this is so unfair!"

"Notice life isn't fair, did you, love?" Peter sneered. "Sorry to break it to you, but there are bad people in the world. And innocents die. And people change."

"I know that, Peter," Heather cringed. "You think I don't know that? Just because I'm trying doesn't mean I don't... Peter. I know. I know."

"Sure you do." He took her hands in his and walked close to her, so that her scent could invade his senses again. A small sigh escaped her lips and she leaned her forehead onto her boyfriends shoulder.

"Oh, Peter," She exhaled and let her body sag against his. "Please. Just love me."

"Damnit, Heather." Fear mingled with numbness in Peter's stomach, creating a toxic acidic feeling that sickened him. Heather's soft thighs and breasts pressed against him as she relaxed into his body. She was suddenly made of water, and Peter knew any sudden movements would cause her to splash, to bubble, to break, spilling to the floor.

He pushed her hard against the stone wall of the deserted corridor and she spilled, just as he had predicted. Tears splashed down her water-cheeks as he grinded against her, kissing her willing lips and holding her wrists against the wall.

"You know, right?" he said into her ear, and she shuddered against him. "Then you know that I love you. You know."

"I just..." Heather attempted to twist out of his grasp, just enough so that she could speak. Peter would have none of it; for once he held the tiniest bit of power. Giving up, Heather jerked her head in an attempt to make her blonde hair stop sticking to her tear stained face.

"I just," she continued. "I feel like I can't do anything right."

"Oh, darling," Peter released her and stepped back, so that she could move. The first thing she did was rub her wrists. As he watched her do this, Peter remembered that he should feel guilty that he might have hurt her. Noting the appropriate emotions, Peter picked up one of those wrists and kissed it gently. He looked into her red, puffy eyes and scrunched his eyebrows.

"Even when you're crying," he whispered. "You're beautiful. Your eyes –they are really blue."

"What?" Heather tilted her head in frustrated confusion.

"You're beautiful." Peter smiled at her. "Please, forgive me? You love me and I've been good to you for a long time, I'm just going through a hard time. That's understandable, right? You're beautiful."

"Thank you," The confusion had not even begun to fade from her features, but sympathy had found its spot in her eyes as well. "I'm so sorry, Pete. You're right, I shouldn't be pestering you I just..."

"No 'just's," Peter shook his head. "Of course I forgive you. You know I love you."

Heather nodded mutely and let out a sigh. Peter smiled and reached to brush her hair off of her tear drenched face. She really did look beautiful when she cried.

"Darling..." His voice was gentle, high-pitched and non-threatening. Where had all these 'darlings' come from? Had he ever called somebody 'darling' before in his life? He gritted his teeth against the questions. "Love, you're all wet. Maybe you should go wash up? I really need to be alone right now. Could you please give me that?"

"I..." Heather wiped her face, and found herself shocked to discover tears there. "I'm so sorry. I must look really awful... do you think you'll be okay? You really want to be alone?"

"Yes," Peter smiled gently. "That's exactly what I want. And of course I always think you look beautiful, even when you're made of water. I'll see you later, alright?"

Peter kissed her lightly on the lips. Without waiting to see her small nod, he turned away from her and walked down the empty corridor.

The corridor stretched into darkness and Peter thanked his small animagus form again. He had an automatic escape if he came across Filch. Curfew had been fifteen minutes ago, but the Slug Club party was allowed to run late, so Peter knew people were still out. Specifically, he knew Regulus Black and Severus Snape would be out. They were both Slughorn's favourites, after all.

With the thought of the two Slytherins burning in his mind, Peter listened to the sound of his footsteps as they carried him down to the dungeons.

* * *

[A/N: Thoughts? Predictions? Love? Hate?] 


End file.
